A cute little drabble for my NaNoWriMo 30/50/15 challenge (which is looking like I may not get all 15 done but I'll get a hefty chunk done at least) This was inspired by another Hurts song and I decided to leave it ambiguous to potential shounen-ai (so just like the games and the manga really haha) Anyway hope you enjoy it :)
The sky was cloudy and it looked like it was about to pour with rain as Roxas made his way through the back alleys of Twilight Town. If anyone had come across him he would have looked angry. Or maybe determined? Or maybe just completely emotionless? The later was most likely, he knew, considering that he was a Nobody and there was no way that he could actually feel anything. Except he did feel something. He felt anger coursing through his veins. Anger, pain, sadness and hatred were the emotions that he shouldn't be able to experience as he thought about The Organisation and what it stood for – for taking hearts that weren't rightfully theirs for a goal that would only lead to more pain and not caring who was caught in the crossfire.
The Organisation had pulled him into a world of darkness that he had not been a part of and placed within his head a number of terrifying and horrific images that assaulted him every single time he closed his eyes. Many a night he would wake up, panting and sweating, after dreaming about a boy named Sora fighting for his life and the lives of those he cared about. Who he was Roxas had no idea but he was sure it was significant to him in some way but it wasn't until Xion had broken down and almost tried to kill him that he realised just how significant.
As he thought of Xion his chest tightened and if he had had a heart he knew that it would be breaking and he would have been crying. He had been forced to fight and kill one of his best friends, maybe he hadn't been the one to actually take her life but he had been the one to see her die. To see her fade away like that before his eyes, to feel her leave his arms and disappear into thin air was the worst thing he had ever felt and he knew that there was no way he could stay with those bastards any longer. Xemnas, Siax and, to an extent, the rest of them as well – they were all the same, using people for their own selfish ends and not caring about what happened to them.
He continued to walk; the only thing he was able to concentrate on was his feet hitting the concrete and putting as much distance as he could between himself and The Organisation. He had no idea where he was going and he had no real plan – he knew that and he knew that it was stupid to go out on his own like this because he could encounter something much worse than a Heartless (and probably would when Xemnas discovered that he had turned on him.) He was lost in his own thoughts, trying to work out what to do next, so lost that he didn't see the red haired figure leaning against the wall of a building watching him go. He didn't even notice Axel until his friend spoke up.
"So," his voice said, breaking Roxas out of his thoughts. He took his eyes off the ground and turned his gaze to the direction of the voice. "you're actually going through with it are you?" Roxas turned his gaze back to the street in front of him.
"So what if I am?" he asked. He sounded like a petulant child but he didn't care. There was nothing left for him in The Organisation and he didn't feel like sticking around if there was nothing left but seeing Axel standing there did make the empty space where his heart should be ache. Aside from Xion, Axel was the only other member of The Organisation that he actually cared about and he knew it would hurt to have to say goodbye to him.
"You know that this is the stupidest idea you've ever had right?" Axel asked.
"And why's that?" Roxas asked countering Axel's question with another.
"Do you not know?" Axel asked as if it was obvious and Roxas was just being dense. Roxas let out a small humourless laugh. They weren't actually getting anywhere; this conversation was just going round and round in circles with them just asking each other pointless questions.
"They killed Xion you know." Roxas stated hollowly.
"Yeah…" Axel sighed and Roxas didn't have to look round to know that he was rubbing the back of his head and looking at his feet awkwardly. "I know."
"Don't you care?" Roxas asked turning back to look at him, his eyes blazing with anger. Axel clenched his hand into a fist and punched the brick wall behind him.
"Of course I care!" he half shouted. "She was my friend too you know!"
"Really?" Roxas asked sceptically. "Because I thought from the way you guys were fighting beforehand you didn't care about whether she lived or died."
"That's not true and you know it!" Axel snapped.
"Don't I?" Roxas asked, his voice suddenly emotionless. He waited for Axel to retaliate but the red head didn't say anything. He sighed feeling the weight of Xion's death hitting him once again. "What's the point in fighting about it?" he asked and Axel noted that his voice was a little sad. "It's done now."
"I guess so." Axel mumbled turning his own eyes to the floor. "So you really are going?" he added after a pause, almost to make sure that he knew in his own head.
"Yeah," Roxas replied. "I'm really going, my mind is made up."
"Why?" Axel countered.
"The Keyblade chose me for a reason." Roxas stated. "I need to know why." He didn't particularly care about that one way or the other if he was really honest with himself but it just seemed like a good reason to leave and never return at about this point. Maybe telling Axel that would also make him feel better about the fact that he was leaving with no real goodbye or explanation.
"That's bull and we both know it." Axel almost growled. Roxas shrugged.
"That's my decision." he replied.
"Why are you doing this?" Axel shouted suddenly angry. "You know what's going to happen if you leave – you turn your back on The Organisation, you get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!" Roxas turned back to the street in front of him not wanting to look at Axel. He didn't want to see his friend look sad or break down as he walked away.
"No one would miss me." he stated. He walked away from Axel, leaving the life that he had, all that he knew, behind him. He could find the answers to the questions he had but that was of very little importance in the long run. He just knew that he couldn't stay under the control of Xemnas, blindly following everything that he and Siax told him to do until Roxas had lost every friend because of it. It was bad enough that he was having to say goodbye to Axel, leaving his best, and only real friend save Xion, behind. He wanted to stop, to run and give his friend a proper goodbye or tell him to come with him or something but he couldn't condemn Axel to the same fate he was choosing for himself.
"That's not true!" Axel shouted and the sound of his voice echoed off the buildings around them. Roxas stopped, unable to take another step. He had expected Axel to just let him leave, he had expected him to watch him go then go back to Xemnas, continuing to follow his every word and maybe even reporting that he had left them for good but he hadn't. Roxas turned to look at him, his eyes wide and stinging with the beginnings of tears as his chest tightened, feeling as if his world was collapsing all over again. Axel also looked as if he was having trouble composing himself as Roxas continued to stare at him as he felt the rain beginning to pour.
"What?" he choked, his voice being strangled by the surge of echoes of emotions that shouldn't be there coursing through him.
"That's not true." Axel said again, this time a little quieter taking a step towards Roxas. "If you left The Organisation it's not true that no one would miss you; I would." Axel took another step towards him, closing the distance between them, but all Roxas could do was stand and stare at him. He had never expected anyone to care for him as much as he cared for them; he wasn't even supposed to care but he did. As Axel reached him Roxas could feel tears spilling from his eyes, silently hoping that Axel would think it was just the rain. "I would miss you if you went away." Axel said again his green eyes boring into Roxas's.
"Why?" Roxas managed to whisper, not daring to raise his voice any louder for fear of it cracking.
"I've been waiting for the right time to tell you how I feel." Axel stated. "Roxas since you came along and joined The Organisation everything was alright. Before you came I had nothing to hold on to and I thought about leaving from time to time but I knew that they'd just kill me if I did, so I stayed but I hated it. Then you joined and you made me feel better, happier, I don't know. I know we're not supposed to have emotions or feel anything but you make me feel like I have a heart."
"Axel…" Roxas almost sobbed, his entire body shaking as he reached out to the man in front of him.
"I don't want to lose you Rox; you're my best friend." Axel told him gently placing a hand on Roxas' shoulder while brushing his wet fringe off his face. "So change your mind and don't leave tonight." Roxas opened his mouth, staring up at Axel. He didn't know what to say and he had no idea what to do; Axel's confession had thrown him for a loop.
"Come with me." he said without thinking.
"What?" Axel asked, his eyes suddenly as wide as Roxas's had been.
"Come with me." Roxas said again. "We can leave together and we don't have to care about them at all." Axel looked down at Roxas, seeing the earnestness in his eyes and he pulled the small blond into a tight hug. Roxas began to sob into Axel's chest as the red head held him and the rain soaked them both to the bone. "Stay with me." he cried. He hadn't known just how much he hadn't wanted to leave Axel until it came down to it. Axel tightened his grip around the blond.
"Always." he whispered into his ear and both of them knew that they could do this; they could leave The Organisation and survive as long as they were together.
6 down, 9 to go - getting there