In the Stillness

Chapter 15

"What…what would you like to say about it?"

By now the night breeze carried a teasing pinch of chill that helped to cool the surface of his fiery heart beating wildly within. The lone street lamp above illuminated her violet blue eyes piercing through his startled eyes, beckoning him to produce words that he fought to procure in his muddled mind. The shadowy figures at the end of the street had now disappeared, and they were all alone in the empty street. Perhaps he preferred it this way, lest he forego control and just kiss her, then and there, with no other but the full moon to witness it. In the vastness of their existence, in the blackest of the night, and in forgotten time, before another breath and before another heartbeat, all he wanted to do was to tell her he loved her. And it no longer mattered how she felt about it.

"Don…" Liz stammered at the question thrown at her, "I don't know about you…but, to be honest, all I could think about is our kiss. I know you haven't forgotten about it."

"As I remember, it was you who kissed me…why did you kiss me?"

"You would…you would put me in the hot seat. You can't be serious." By her prickly tone of voice, it was evident that she was feeling irritated, and she wasn't going to hide any of it.

"It's a fair question." Ressler didn't mean to, and for reasons unknown and unexpected, his lips twisted into a sly smile, as if he was now teasing her. It was becoming impossible to retain the gravity of the conversation when he knew the inevitable outcome.

"At the moment, I just…I just felt…"

"So, you felt something."

Liz was beginning to suspect something was amiss with Ressler's intentions, as she eyed him with a cautious squint, "Yes…of course, I did…are you trying to make this difficult?"

"No, Liz…"

"I'm beginning to think that I was the only one who felt something."

"Look, Liz…" Ressler, with the grin still planted on his face, took a step closer to Liz, "I didn't mean to…"

"Don, maybe this was a mistake, on my part. Obviously you are not serious about any of this…"

It was then that Ressler closed in on the remaining small space between him and Liz, and kissed her. His lips firmly captured her unassuming lips, while his hands drew her body in secure against his chest. She may have been caught off guard, but she didn't resist one bit. It only took her a moment before her hand laid upon his chest while the other wrapped around the nape of his neck, his soft blond hair caressed between her fingers. Her touch caused a ripple of sensation that only caused him to draw her tighter into his arms, while his lips explored deeper of her soft open lips, which held certain compliant hunger of her own. He heard a faint but satiated groan from somewhere deep within her, and he could only think of making love to her in her car.

"It's about damn time." Her lips brushed against his teasingly as she whispered, breaking the kiss solely for the reason that both needed to breathe. Ressler was gearing up to resume kissing her, but he couldn't help but to smile warmly at the love's relief. "I suppose it's my turn to ask why you kissed me."

"You could ask me anything, I'll tell you everything you want to know." The night breeze drifted a thin strand of her hair across her face, of which Ressler gently tucked away with his fingers, but not without caressing the contours of her cheek. Liz leaned into his touch upon her face, but her doting eyes were unwavering upon his.

"I've forgotten how it feels like to be in the arms of a man who was honest with me."

Ressler winced at her words, but refused to allow the memory of that damned man taint this moment of tender declaration. He drew her in for a warm embrace, and spoke with his lips laid upon her forehead, "Yes, this is how it feels like to be in the arms of a man who is honest with you. You don't ever have to be afraid, of anything…Liz, I love you."

Liz shifted slightly to face him, and with her hand cupping his cheek to guide his face, she kissed him with a sigh of deep ardent longing. He took in every sensation of her, the taste of her full lips, the sweet scent of her skin, the touch of her hand caressing his face, and the feel of her body pressed against his. He had never known love could feel like this, nor did he know how his love for her could go any deeper than he was once convinced of. And in this indescribable reverie, the glow and the light invaded all his faculties beyond control, reducing him to only utter once again in breathless surrender, "I love you…I've always have."

Liz remained in his warm embrace, with not a word passing between them in a moment of contented rest. Then with a soft stir, she spoke with her lips lingering over his, "How are we going to do this?"

"Do what?"

"Show up to work tomorrow, pretend that we are…just partners…and do our job."

"I'm sure that won't be a problem. We'll manage." He leaned in to kiss her again, but reluctantly abandoned his heart's intent upon seeing that she was now fully preoccupied.

"Are you sure you'll be able to manage? There can be absolutely nothing…not even a slight of anything that can be detected between us. Nothing."

"Got it. I'll treat this as an undercover operation. I'll be the Agent Ressler to your Agent Keen."

"Don, this is serious…"

"Liz, it's understood." Then he leaned in and gave her a quick kiss, "I'm a man of few words anyway."

"Oh, this is not good…we're in trouble." She shook her head with a feigned look of disdain, "Plus Reddington is coming tomorrow to the bureau. We have to be extra careful around him, you know he picks up on everything."

"Don't worry about that devil…I'm sure he'd approve."

"That's not what I meant!" But she sensibly joined in the light hearted play, and pushed him a slight, "I'm just going to pretend that all humor aside, you will behave as you have understood."

"I won't let you down." Ressler couldn't help but to go for her lips again, but her low laughter halted him. "Don, it's…it's pretty late…"

And with a conceded sigh, Ressler dropped his hands from her waist, "I know…I know. You better get home, and get some rest."

"Yeah…you, too." With that, she turned to her car keys again, and Ressler held the car door open for her just as she unlocked it. "I guess…I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, tomorrow." Then Liz leaned in for a kiss, of which he obliged without hesitation. The kiss was a brief touch, but he felt her reciprocated surrender and love, and he wished the night wouldn't end there. He had already missed her and couldn't wait to see her the next day. "Drive safe."

He shut the car door for her, and after a last look of his eyes, Liz drove off into the misty fog settling into the black night. Ressler stood watching her car disappear, with the ache of longing already invading in her absence. If she had asked, he would've followed her, abandoning all caution and discretion. But she was wiser than he was, far more controlled and careful, and perhaps thought it best to proceed with none the recklessness nor haste. But he won't deny that he had wanted her, and she could have him, whenever she wanted him.

He looked up to the darkened sky, and the full moon was still beaming, a bit brighter it seemed. Ressler was truly a man of few words, and he would never think of himself as a poet, not at all in every sense of the word. But tonight, he felt certain poetry overtake his heart, swelling with the warm glow of love, that he entertained a lone conversation with the moon above. Wordlessly, and with only the eyes to utter, Ressler confirmed what the moon had seen. He had told her he loved her, finally, after all the pressing heart beats of watching, waiting, and toiling. His heart no longer suffered in silence, and he could still feel her lips upon his, the way she pulled him closer to her and pressed tighter into him.

The moon remained silent, but Ressler had said his peace, and turned to the street to start the walk toward his car. And in the dark shadows of falling leaves, a small unhindered smile escaped from his lips, at the stark realization that everything about his world had now irrevocably changed, but the rest of the world had proceeded with nary a care. And it was then that he understood the silence of the moon, of its sly indifference and cool detachment, as he was but a tiny ember of fire alight amongst the countless being managed that night.

. . . . . .

Ressler was summoned to Cooper's office as soon as he stepped off the elevator in the morning. He had just a brief moment to drop off his coat in his office, which was unoccupied with the lights turned off. Thinking that Liz was already with Cooper, he quickly and methodically made his way toward the Assistant Director's office, with the heart ready to behave as he had understood.

But Liz was not there, and instead it was Raymond Reddington who greeted him with a wide grin. "Hello, Donald. It's been a long time."

"Red." With not an expression etched on his face, Ressler took a seat along the wall, facing Reddington seated on the leather chair in front. It was a bit past eight o'clock, and his mind was already distracted with the thought of where Liz may be.

"You alright, Donald? You seem…distracted."

Ressler had not forgotten the eyes of the devil, and his cloying perceptions. He decided to ignore Red's inquiry all together, and turned to Cooper, "What's the case, sir?"

"We'll discuss it, as soon as Agent Keen gets here."

Then, as on cue, Liz walked into the office, with an apologetic air of a hurried soul. This was the first time she's been late to the office, and Ressler knew she was embarrassed about it. He kept his eyes upon her, hoping to meet her eyes, but she did not even turn her face toward his way as she sat along the opposite wall.

His eyes lingered on her face before he remembered to look away, with his face cleanly swept of any emotions. But what caught his attention were the eyes of another, those belonging to Reddington, whose sharp focus was keenly upon him, as if Ressler was a fine case study unraveling of its mysteries. Their eyes briefly met, but Reddington did not look away. And Ressler was sure he even detected a smirk from him.

"Good morning, Agent Keen." Cooper did not sound pleased at her late entrance.

"Sir."

"Running a bit late this morning, Lizzie. Did you have an eventful night?" This was too good of a gem for Red to drop, and if Ressler looked at him long enough, he was bound to punch that mischievous grin off that wicked face. But thankfully, Cooper was impatient to get on with the business at hand.

"What do you have to report to us about Berlin? You have some information for us, Red?"

"To be certain, he's alive, he's out there…but I'd say no further than New York. He has some business he wants to take care of with me, so he can't be that far. He has an intricate system of people, who's keeping him hidden and safe."

"Anything concrete we can work with?"

"I'm looking into three of the most prominent underground Russian clans, a syndicate of business of sorts. My men have already infiltrated into the groups, and there's bound to be some rumblings regarding Berlin in their midst. He has some powerful people working for him, and given his previous flair, he doesn't stay quiet."

"Your men have infiltrated? Shouldn't we use trained agents for undercover?" Ressler interjected with a hint of restlessness and agitation, in firm belief that this was a bureau business first and foremost.

"Who? Such as yourself, Donald? Please…all you agents have FBI written all over you, they'll be able to smell you a mile away." Reddington snorted with the typical arrogance, which didn't abide well with Ressler as expected.

"What do you need from us?" Cooper cut through the peaked air with his leveled voice.

"Harold, I must ask you to keep whatever I inform you strictly between the people in this very room. You cannot report to anyone what we are dealing with, and especially who is involved. This is of utmost importance, and if you don't follow my request, you may very well jeopardize the entire operation."

"I need to at least report to Martin. He's already aware of the case, and he's waiting for debriefing."

"I understand that, Harold, but it is imperative that none of this fall on other ears. And that includes Martin."

Cooper sat back in this chair, in a moment of silent contemplation. "What do you suggest I tell Martin? He is expecting to hear from me."

"That, Harold, I'll leave it up to you. You're clever…I'm sure you'll manage." Then Reddington turned toward Liz, "I do need Lizzie for the day, if you don't mind. We have some business to take care of."

"Such as?" Liz's blue eyes focused sharply upon Reddington, but all she received was a warm but an elusive smile. "I'll explain on the way."

"Do I need to know?" Cooper inquired just as Reddington got up from his chair.

"Good bye, Harold." Cooper simply nodded to the curt response, no longer taking offense at the effrontery but simply accepting the way Reddington dealt with people. He knew Reddington was never a man to speak more than he has to.

Liz got up from her chair as well, and after a nod toward Cooper, followed Reddington out of the office. She did, however, threw a quick glance at Ressler before taking the last step out of the office, and he knew that she was as uncertain and wary as he was. He knew he couldn't very well force himself to their company, nor coerce Reddington to permit his presence, but it nonetheless made the feeling of helplessness any easier to manage. Sometimes, he just hated that man, if anything for making him feel…useless.

"Sir, are we just going to trust Reddington, and allow him to run this operation?" Ressler turned to Cooper as soon as Liz closed the door behind her.

"What do you suggest, Agent Ressler? So far, the bureau has nothing on Berlin, we're left only with Reddington. But I understand how you feel. If you have any ideas, I'm open to hearing it."

"Sir, I can't help but to question Reddington's connection to Berlin. What does he gain from all this? What are his intentions? Why is Berlin after him? This is not about business, sir, it's personal. That's the only way to explain why so many people had been killed…because it's driven by some kind of vendetta, or revenge…or blackmail, even. Berlin is after Reddington, for personal reasons. And perhaps Red is aware of it. And that's why he is refusing to have the feds get involved."

"Are you thinking Berlin may have information on Reddington that can incriminate him?"

"That's a possibility, sir."

Cooper took a moment of silent deliberation, then spoke with a grave tone, "Keep a close eye on Agent Keen."

"Sir?"

"It's obvious there are conversations between Keen and Reddington. She may know more about the operation than she's letting on. Keep a close watch over Keen, and report to me what you find."

Ressler felt taken aback by the sudden and unexpected turn of events, and tried with might to quell the shaking heart within, while hoping that his own face wouldn't betray him. "Sir, I could assure you, Agent Keen knows no more about this than you and I."

"Agent Ressler, I could understand this…inclination to protect Agent Keen, as she is, your partner. But let me remind you…your obligations are to the bureau, first and foremost, strictly and unequivocally. Any information you find regarding any of our operations, you are directed to report to the bureau. Do we understand each other?"

"Yes, sir."

"Now, then, keep a close watch over Keen, and report to me what you find."

"Yes, sir."

Cooper dismissed Ressler soon after, and he held in all of his emotions as he walked quietly back to his office. He understood Cooper, yes. He even agreed with these stipulations, of course he did. But he would never think it, let alone consider, of using Liz to extract information about Reddington. Damn, that man.

He plunked down upon his chair with a deep sigh, and aside from the weighty thumping of his heart, all he could think about was seeing Liz again. Damn, where did Reddington take her?

. . . . . .

Liz did not return to the office, and Ressler's calls to her were unanswered, or ignored as more likely scenario. He attempted to prolong his post at the office by reviewing some old leads, but by the time the clock struck nine o'clock, he had run out of excuses to stay. Even Cooper poked his head into the office and barked at Ressler to go home. He was tempted to ask Cooper if Liz had contacted him, but decided against it for the fear of perhaps revealing too much.

Reluctantly Ressler made it to his apartment, with the only hope that Liz will contact him before the night passed and before his heart had its fill of worry. He mindlessly fixed himself a light dinner, and with a bottle of beer at hand, decided to turn to the newspapers to pass the time. He was on his second bottle of beer when a faint knock was heard on his door. Ressler knew who it was even before he peered through the door peep hole.

"Liz, where have you been all day?"

"Don, I'm so exhausted."

She walked into the apartment casually and mindlessly, as if she's been here thousands of times and that she had belonged there. She took off her coat and laid it on the edge of the couch, and turned to Ressler, "It's been a long day."

"I know. I called you a couple of times, but you didn't answer. Liz, what the hell were you doing with Reddington?"

"Sorry…I'm sorry for not picking up, I know you called. I just didn't have a chance to. You didn't have to worry about me."

"I was worried about you…you were gone all day."

"I'm sorry…I really am." Liz then fell into Ressler's arms, and buried her face against his chest, while her arms wrapped around his shoulders in a tight embrace. He didn't resist her but returned the embrace, and held her steady in his arms. He felt her body shake as she exhaled deeply against his chest, and he caressed her back as her body molded into his in an abandoned rest. He held her until he could feel her heart beat.

"Liz, please tell me…what is going on?" He whispered softly against her temple, as he watched her eyelids flutter open.

Her violet blue eyes were gazing into his now, but in a breath she kissed him, with a sweet gentleness that his heart became undone in its lovely hinges. He kissed her back without a moment's loss, releasing all the desire's longings that were kept hidden all day, but were just as growing in maddening depth. He couldn't get enough of her, and the more he tasted her, the more he wanted to explore. It was then that he felt Liz's hands tug at his shirt, attempting to unbutton it with a frenetic desperation that surprised and pleased him at the same time.

"Do you really want to talk about Reddington right now?" Liz whispered against his neck, as he felt her warm breath upon it before she laid a kiss on the spot. And that have done it. Any attempt to formulate a thought would be laughingly impossible as his mind had now become completely muddled and helpless. He was hers, at her mercy.

Soon he found his hands pulling on her blouse, with the silk cool but far too delicate against his hands. He craved the touch of her skin, and he caressed her bare back with his hands underneath the silk. Her bare skin was soft and smooth, and he felt as though he was intruding with his rough calloused fingers. He heard a deep groan from Liz, and her lips were upon his lips again, with the anguish of unresolved fervor.

But this time, she was pushing him, rather forcibly. He knew she was guiding him toward the couch, but he just couldn't have that. So with his hands on her bare waist, he shifted her toward his room, and as soon as she spotted his bed, she surrendered into his arms just as he started to unbutton her blouse.

. . . . . .

A/N: I'm hoping that when Liz and Ressler "get together", it won't be some agonizing drama, like the typical "will they or won't they" gimmick that lasts for several seasons (seriously you guys, a "real" man doesn't wait 7 years to tell the girl he loves her, k?). I'm hoping that the writers can handle this naturally and organically, like get it done in two seasons or something. And WITHOUT some false drama, but with humor and light. The show is already very dramatic and dark…leave Keensler romance light and fluffy, please!