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What REALLY happened in Harry Potter!
Dumbldoor: ACK! What the heck is that? Om my gawd, it's actually human, but it's so hairy! EEP! TAKE IT AWAY!
Random Cat lady person: No you foolish wizard, this is Harry Potter (how ironic), the kid who beat that Voldremorteny in the Irish Step dancing contest at age 2. We can't just throw him ANY WHERE! He is SPECIAL!
Dumbledoor: FINE! That looks like a house that will feed him, put him there!
Cat lady: ok, what ever. (Ironically this happens to be his aunt and uncle's house)
**Many years later!**
Harry: LOOKY LOOKY! I am the Saint of the Step!
Uncle: You foolish child, why can't you be NORMAL like our other son. Take those stupid tap shoes off!
Harry: You just don't appreciate the fine art of Irish Step Dancing!!!!
Other son of whom I forgot the name: Harry, just remember in school, you aren't related to me, we don't live in the same house, you don't know my name, and we haven't said more than one word to each other. Ok?
Harry: uhh.I AM THE SAINT OF THE STEP!
Aunt: You will never amount to ANYTHING! You will always be WEIRD!
**a few days later**
Harry: I just got a letter, I just got a letter, I just got a letter, and it's from the school of the fine art of Irish step dancing and learning how to become a better you school!
Uncle: (after Harry finished his song and dance routine) GOOD! LEAVE! NOW!
Harry: It says here that my parents were Irish step dancers too! YOU NEVER TOLD ME THIS! YOU LIE!
Uncle: I didn't want to motivate you further!
**later on at the train**
Harry: I am going to school! YAY! I will be among people JUST LIKE ME!!!!!
Ron: hallo!
Harry: Hallo! How do I get to platform 9 ¾?
Ron: You go run through that brick wall over there!
Harry: OK! (Harry runs INTO the wall and not through it)
Ron: YOU FOOLISH CHILD! You actually fell for that! Actually, platform 9 ¾ is right here.
Harry: YAY! Ok! Aw darn it, now I have a cut, EEP! I will get a scar!
Ron: Good for you, leave me alone.
**Later on at the Irish step dancing school**
Dumbledoor: Ok, everyone will be divided into one of 4 houses. There is green, blue, red and yellow. At the end of the year there will be this big contest and the color with the best dancers will win. These MAGIC shoes will determine your house. Harry Potter, come up to see which house you will be in.
Harry: EEWW! Are those shoes sanitary?.they look old.how many people have worn them?
Dumbledoor: Put them on you radish!
Harry: EEP! Ok FINE! Please don't let me be in red.please don't let me be in red.
Magic shoes: hmmm.are you sure.many evil ..I mean GREAT dancers have come out of that house. But, whatever, you will be in green!
Harry: Squeak! I always wanted to be in green.that is the TRUE color of Irish step dancers!!
Dumbledoor: Next, Ron Weasel!
Ron: Please don't let me be in green, please don't let me be in green!
Magic shoes: TOUGH, you are going into green and you are going to LIKE it!
Ron: NOOO! That means I will have to be with *gulp* Harry Potter.
Magic shoes: Life isn't perfect. Some of us get rich and famous, and some of us must withstand torture!
**a couple days later on their way into town**
Harry: Ron!
Ron: What do you want? I thought I told you not to talk to me in public!
Harry: Me too! Ok, well I heard this random tall guy and he was telling me about this Voldremorteny guy and that when I was little this guy tried to kill my parents because they were better then him, so he killed them. THEN I started to dance. He started to dance too, we had a DANCE BATTLE! And I beat him! I beat him WELL too! Holy Flamigurkey!
Ron: Don't say that name!!
Harry: Flamigurkey?
Ron: NO! Voldremorteny! O dang, you made me say it!
Harry: Why shouldn't I say Voldremorteny?
Ron: STOP IT! Well, come to think of it, I don't know.but we just can't, ok?
Harry: Ok, who is this "he who cannot be named" guy anyway?
Ron: He is the most EVIL dancer ever! The only dancer that he fears is Dumbledoor.
Harry: That old guy? I thought that he could barely walk, never mind dance.
Ron: Shut up!
Harry: Ok, Come on, Ron! Let's go into this store!
Ron: Fine, I don't see anyone in there who can spread that fact that I was talking to you. I guess we can go in. Eww! LOOK! A SHMUGGLE!
Harry: Shmuggle? Is that like a chicken?
Ron: No you foolish child! I schmuggle is someone who isn't an Irish Step Dancer like us!
Harry: O, OK! HEY, YOU! YEAH, YOU! ARE YOU A SHMUGGLE?
Ron: (after pulling Harry out of the store) NEVER do that again with me within 10 feet of you!
**Later on at Irish Step Dancing School** Harry: Hi Hermy!
Hermione: My name is Hermione! Don't talk to me. Everyone says," beware of the kid with the funky scar". I try to follow their advice.
Harry: Me too. Who is this kid any ways?
Hermione: Is this some kind of joke?
Harry: What? I am lost. Is this kid someone I know? I have never seen someone with a funky looking scar.
Hermione: (after pulling out her mirror) You foolish child, have you ever looked in a mirror?
Harry: (after seeing that he had a scar the size of a quarter in the middle of his forehead) EEP! So THAT'S why people have been avoiding me. I look just like that kid that people say to beware of!
Hermione: ok.right. So, what do you want.make it quick.
Harry: ok, well I saw that there was a special potion in a book that I read that will make you the greatest dancer of all time.does it really exist?
Hermione: Of course it exists, it is right under this school.
Harry: Let's go get it! You and Ron can come with me.
Hermione: No! Only a fool would go down there!
Harry: *puts a spell on Hermione and then pulls Ron from under the table* There is no choice! You will go with me!
**Down in the basement** Harry: O good! Both of you are awake now! Come one, we are going to go down this staircase and find the potion.
Hermione: You FOOLISH CHILD! There is NO WAY I am going down there with you.
Harry: You will go down, unless you are a FLAMIGURKEY!
Ron: A what what?
Hermione: Come on Ron, let's just humor him and go down there.
Ron: what ever, ok.
Harry: (after completing the winding staircase) Look! It is our first task!
Ron: Are you kidding me? We ACTUALLY have to play this stupid game?
Harry: You mean Jenga? What is wrong with Jenga?
Hermione: If we play this game and finish this stupid thing with you, will you promise never to talk to us again?
Harry: PROMISE!
Hermione: Come on, Ron!
Harry: (As the game went on) Jenga! Jenga! Jenga!!!!
Hermione: Thank every star in the sky that is over, what next?
Harry: Now we have to RUN AMOK!
Ron: What?
Harry: RUN AMOK! Amok amok amok amok amok!
Hermione: (as Harry ran around like a lunatic) You freak! (Just as she says this Harry grabs both of there arms and takes them with him as his runs amok in circles)
Ron: GET IT OFF! IT IS STUCK TO ME! GET IT OFF!!!!! *few* it's gone
Hermione: If we have to do anything in the next task I might hurt someone...very badly.
Harry: *gasp* look! There is that guy! That guy that no one is allowed to talk about! *gasp*
Voldremorteny: EEP! You foolish child! They told me no one was going to be down here!
Harry: Hand over that potion you EVIL person, or I will have to POKE YOU!
Voldermorteny: This potion? O, I already drank it, if I had known you were coming I would have saved you some.
Harry O, is that it?
Volremorteny: Were you expecting something more?
Harry: I dunno, ok.I guess we will leave now.
Voldremorteny: Ok, tootles!
So Harry goes back to school and everyone thinks that he is a dork. After much taunting and such he drops out! YAY! And THEN he goes back to his aunt and uncles house and this BIG HAIRY GUY comes and tells him that they made a mistake and that he is actually a wizard. So there ya go! That is what they DON'T tell you in the book.
What REALLY happened in Harry Potter!
Dumbldoor: ACK! What the heck is that? Om my gawd, it's actually human, but it's so hairy! EEP! TAKE IT AWAY!
Random Cat lady person: No you foolish wizard, this is Harry Potter (how ironic), the kid who beat that Voldremorteny in the Irish Step dancing contest at age 2. We can't just throw him ANY WHERE! He is SPECIAL!
Dumbledoor: FINE! That looks like a house that will feed him, put him there!
Cat lady: ok, what ever. (Ironically this happens to be his aunt and uncle's house)
**Many years later!**
Harry: LOOKY LOOKY! I am the Saint of the Step!
Uncle: You foolish child, why can't you be NORMAL like our other son. Take those stupid tap shoes off!
Harry: You just don't appreciate the fine art of Irish Step Dancing!!!!
Other son of whom I forgot the name: Harry, just remember in school, you aren't related to me, we don't live in the same house, you don't know my name, and we haven't said more than one word to each other. Ok?
Harry: uhh.I AM THE SAINT OF THE STEP!
Aunt: You will never amount to ANYTHING! You will always be WEIRD!
**a few days later**
Harry: I just got a letter, I just got a letter, I just got a letter, and it's from the school of the fine art of Irish step dancing and learning how to become a better you school!
Uncle: (after Harry finished his song and dance routine) GOOD! LEAVE! NOW!
Harry: It says here that my parents were Irish step dancers too! YOU NEVER TOLD ME THIS! YOU LIE!
Uncle: I didn't want to motivate you further!
**later on at the train**
Harry: I am going to school! YAY! I will be among people JUST LIKE ME!!!!!
Ron: hallo!
Harry: Hallo! How do I get to platform 9 ¾?
Ron: You go run through that brick wall over there!
Harry: OK! (Harry runs INTO the wall and not through it)
Ron: YOU FOOLISH CHILD! You actually fell for that! Actually, platform 9 ¾ is right here.
Harry: YAY! Ok! Aw darn it, now I have a cut, EEP! I will get a scar!
Ron: Good for you, leave me alone.
**Later on at the Irish step dancing school**
Dumbledoor: Ok, everyone will be divided into one of 4 houses. There is green, blue, red and yellow. At the end of the year there will be this big contest and the color with the best dancers will win. These MAGIC shoes will determine your house. Harry Potter, come up to see which house you will be in.
Harry: EEWW! Are those shoes sanitary?.they look old.how many people have worn them?
Dumbledoor: Put them on you radish!
Harry: EEP! Ok FINE! Please don't let me be in red.please don't let me be in red.
Magic shoes: hmmm.are you sure.many evil ..I mean GREAT dancers have come out of that house. But, whatever, you will be in green!
Harry: Squeak! I always wanted to be in green.that is the TRUE color of Irish step dancers!!
Dumbledoor: Next, Ron Weasel!
Ron: Please don't let me be in green, please don't let me be in green!
Magic shoes: TOUGH, you are going into green and you are going to LIKE it!
Ron: NOOO! That means I will have to be with *gulp* Harry Potter.
Magic shoes: Life isn't perfect. Some of us get rich and famous, and some of us must withstand torture!
**a couple days later on their way into town**
Harry: Ron!
Ron: What do you want? I thought I told you not to talk to me in public!
Harry: Me too! Ok, well I heard this random tall guy and he was telling me about this Voldremorteny guy and that when I was little this guy tried to kill my parents because they were better then him, so he killed them. THEN I started to dance. He started to dance too, we had a DANCE BATTLE! And I beat him! I beat him WELL too! Holy Flamigurkey!
Ron: Don't say that name!!
Harry: Flamigurkey?
Ron: NO! Voldremorteny! O dang, you made me say it!
Harry: Why shouldn't I say Voldremorteny?
Ron: STOP IT! Well, come to think of it, I don't know.but we just can't, ok?
Harry: Ok, who is this "he who cannot be named" guy anyway?
Ron: He is the most EVIL dancer ever! The only dancer that he fears is Dumbledoor.
Harry: That old guy? I thought that he could barely walk, never mind dance.
Ron: Shut up!
Harry: Ok, Come on, Ron! Let's go into this store!
Ron: Fine, I don't see anyone in there who can spread that fact that I was talking to you. I guess we can go in. Eww! LOOK! A SHMUGGLE!
Harry: Shmuggle? Is that like a chicken?
Ron: No you foolish child! I schmuggle is someone who isn't an Irish Step Dancer like us!
Harry: O, OK! HEY, YOU! YEAH, YOU! ARE YOU A SHMUGGLE?
Ron: (after pulling Harry out of the store) NEVER do that again with me within 10 feet of you!
**Later on at Irish Step Dancing School** Harry: Hi Hermy!
Hermione: My name is Hermione! Don't talk to me. Everyone says," beware of the kid with the funky scar". I try to follow their advice.
Harry: Me too. Who is this kid any ways?
Hermione: Is this some kind of joke?
Harry: What? I am lost. Is this kid someone I know? I have never seen someone with a funky looking scar.
Hermione: (after pulling out her mirror) You foolish child, have you ever looked in a mirror?
Harry: (after seeing that he had a scar the size of a quarter in the middle of his forehead) EEP! So THAT'S why people have been avoiding me. I look just like that kid that people say to beware of!
Hermione: ok.right. So, what do you want.make it quick.
Harry: ok, well I saw that there was a special potion in a book that I read that will make you the greatest dancer of all time.does it really exist?
Hermione: Of course it exists, it is right under this school.
Harry: Let's go get it! You and Ron can come with me.
Hermione: No! Only a fool would go down there!
Harry: *puts a spell on Hermione and then pulls Ron from under the table* There is no choice! You will go with me!
**Down in the basement** Harry: O good! Both of you are awake now! Come one, we are going to go down this staircase and find the potion.
Hermione: You FOOLISH CHILD! There is NO WAY I am going down there with you.
Harry: You will go down, unless you are a FLAMIGURKEY!
Ron: A what what?
Hermione: Come on Ron, let's just humor him and go down there.
Ron: what ever, ok.
Harry: (after completing the winding staircase) Look! It is our first task!
Ron: Are you kidding me? We ACTUALLY have to play this stupid game?
Harry: You mean Jenga? What is wrong with Jenga?
Hermione: If we play this game and finish this stupid thing with you, will you promise never to talk to us again?
Harry: PROMISE!
Hermione: Come on, Ron!
Harry: (As the game went on) Jenga! Jenga! Jenga!!!!
Hermione: Thank every star in the sky that is over, what next?
Harry: Now we have to RUN AMOK!
Ron: What?
Harry: RUN AMOK! Amok amok amok amok amok!
Hermione: (as Harry ran around like a lunatic) You freak! (Just as she says this Harry grabs both of there arms and takes them with him as his runs amok in circles)
Ron: GET IT OFF! IT IS STUCK TO ME! GET IT OFF!!!!! *few* it's gone
Hermione: If we have to do anything in the next task I might hurt someone...very badly.
Harry: *gasp* look! There is that guy! That guy that no one is allowed to talk about! *gasp*
Voldremorteny: EEP! You foolish child! They told me no one was going to be down here!
Harry: Hand over that potion you EVIL person, or I will have to POKE YOU!
Voldermorteny: This potion? O, I already drank it, if I had known you were coming I would have saved you some.
Harry O, is that it?
Volremorteny: Were you expecting something more?
Harry: I dunno, ok.I guess we will leave now.
Voldremorteny: Ok, tootles!
So Harry goes back to school and everyone thinks that he is a dork. After much taunting and such he drops out! YAY! And THEN he goes back to his aunt and uncles house and this BIG HAIRY GUY comes and tells him that they made a mistake and that he is actually a wizard. So there ya go! That is what they DON'T tell you in the book.