A/N: this is the end, my friends, and I hope you have tissues ready.
Thank you all for the support and kind words! Thanks again, mooshlam, for the lovely vid!
Please let me know what you think of this last chapter as well!
# # #
Carol walked as if in trance, trying her best not to let herself slip into a me versus them mentality. Kirk and Spock were well within their rights to inquire whether her subjectivity where the Augments were concerned might put the ship at risk, should they run into them again. That particular train of thought became hard to hold on to, when the doors to the captain's ready room slid open to reveal Kirk and Spock sitting side by side and presenting a perfectly united front.
She took a deep breath and moved to take a seat across the table from her superiors. "Captain, Mister Spock," she murmured in the eerie silence of the chamber.
The Vulcan's eyes assessed her in the same manner she had seen him use in the science labs with an unknown sample. The feeling of alienation reared its ugly head again. Jim leaned forward, his face open and sympathetic.
"Carol," the captain began. "I know we've been through this before and you don't have to answer any personal queries, but sometimes the safety of the Enterprise depends on the performance of one crew-member. Mister Spock and I have been discussing the situation." He paused to glance furtively at his second in command. "The only way we can all walk away from this with as little embarrassment as possible for all the parties involved is for you to recuse yourself from all future dealings with either Khan himself or the Augments as a whole. No questions asked. This will be the end of it."
Carol resisted the urge to squirm in her seat. That sounded reasonable and had the advantage of giving everyone an easy way out. It would also spare her from mentioning what she had deduced of Khan's hidden agenda in their recent incursion in the Romunal Neutral Zone, but she couldn't just acquiesce and put it out of her mind. It felt both dishonest and disloyal to her. Her hands balled into fists on the table, fingernails digging into her palms. She was still wearing a Starfleet uniform, after all. Still... .
"Captain," she said, steeling herself for the task ahead. Her gaze flickered to Spock. "Commander, there is something you need to know."
She told them everything, how Khan was covering up for something that had happened during their recent rescue mission and how he would not hesitate to use the footage of the Starfleet flagship's senior officers infringing on the Federation's treaty with the Romulans, should he deem it suitable for his purposes. She all but tripped over her words, yet kept her voice steady through it all. Her back was so straight, her muscles locked with tension and started to ache.
When she was done, Kirk and Spock exchanged uneasy looks. The Vulcan was frowning and Jim looked definitely perturbed. There wasn't anything they could actually do, since this was an unfortunate consequence of a mission that formally had never taken place. In fact, the less fuss they made about the whole matter, the more likely they were to keep the secret. Khan had them in a binder.
"Thank you, Carol," Jim said meaningfully.
His gratitude lodged itself like a heavy weight at the bottom of her stomach, causing bile to rise in her throat. Her head was swimming and her heart tugged her into the direction of the Ceti Alpha system. She willed her hands to relax on the table, as the pull of her fists bore down almost painfully on her knuckles.
"That would be all, Doctor Marcus," Spock told her.
She nodded and stood. The room was spinning and the light, though softer than aboard the Vengeance, made her eyes itch. "Captain!" The word was out of her mouth before she could think the better of it. Kirk looked up sharply. Spock followed suit.
The choice was not obvious. There was no clarity, no sudden revelation to save her. The waters were still muddled, but she realized that the more considered it, the harder it would be to decide eventually. Follow your heart or follow your head was easy in theory, but hers were both confounded. She had reasons to stay as well as reasons to leave. She fitted in both places and at the same time was a stranger in both. She might as well go for the one with the extra incentive.
# # #
The Starfleet transport was supposed to drop her at the edge of the Mutara Nebula. Federation territory stretched behind her with all of her past: her London days, her studies, the Academy, her position in Starfleet, the prospect of the five-year mission aboard the Enterprise, her father locked in a penal colony for the rest of his life. She brought a few personal possessions and a crate of paper books with her back to the Ceti Alpha system along with a lot of melancholy, but also a good measure of hope. Hope for the friendships forged among the Augments, her work on the budding colony and a fresh start for her and Khan.
She had visited Earth after presenting Captain Kirk and his first officer with her resignation and told her father the whole truth about her and the Augment leader. His venomous words still rang in her ears, just as his final, heartfelt-sounding plea for her to reconsider did. The breakdown in their relationship still stung and she could not imagine a day when it would not. Although as a Federation citizen she could travel past the border as she wished, untouched by the prohibition against the Augments, she didn't know when and if she would ever see him again.
Her friends in Starfleet had been similarly dismayed. Christine Chapel had tried to dissuade her. Nyota Uhura had acted as if Khan were to send her back in pieces in the years to come, though she had not made any attempts to persuade her to change her mind. Ironically, Jim Kirk had been the most laid-back about it, only emphatically asking her if she was sure. Carol was indeed sure, maybe not completely, but for the most part she was.
One of the Vengeance's shuttles emerged past the foggy blue and purple of the giant Mutara dust cloud and floated close enough that she could see through the narrow window to her right into the other craft. Khan was piloting. For an instant their eyes met. Something glimmered in the sea of calmness of his visage. Carol smiled.
# # #
Nyota Uhura sat in one of the many waiting lounges of the San Francisco Galactic Station, sorting through the mixed feelings she had towards the meeting about to take place. It wasn't that she was not glad to see Carol Marcus, because she was. She was also antsy and a bit uneasy. She had not seen Carol since the first year of the Enterprise five-year mission. The other woman had resigned from Starfleet on personal grounds after a dramatic briefing with Kirk and Spock in the aftermath of their still unofficial and top secret rescue mission in the Romulan Neutral Zone. Nyota had insisted Carol not leave Federation space without giving her frequencies where she could be contacted at any time.
Since then she and Carol had been in sporadic yet constant contact over the years. It would have been an exaggeration to call them friends yet Nyota had been happy to be able to check in with Carol and make sure she was alright. In the meantime, the five-year mission had come to a close, the Enterprise back in the Sol system for a refit. It had been a most exciting time both on a personal and professional level, topped in the first case by her recent marriage to Spock and in the latter, by several commendations and an advancement in rank.
She was looking forward to another such mission, now that Jim had refused a position with Starfleet Command and requested a second tour aboard the Enterprise, not bearing to be away long from what was possibly the true love of his life. Sometimes she worried so for him. The flagship was a demanding and jealous wife, who chased away more prospective partners than any commitment issues the captain could be suspected of.
Her time on Earth had also given her the opportunity to reconnect with family and old friends from the Academy. One of those was Admiral Pike, who would retire in the near future. She was among the privileged few aware of just where and with whom Pike was to spend said retirement. Much like in Carol's case, she was torn between concern and her desire to be supportive. After all, it appeared that things had turned out just fine for Carol.
The transport Carol was supposed to be aboard was announced via the communications system and she stood, her eyes scanning the incoming crowd. They were to be joined later by the former Enterprise nurse, Christine Chapel, who had recently returned to Earth to study to become a doctor. Right now Nyota would have preferred to have Christine by her side, since she knew Carol a lot better.
Carol came into view soon enough, smiling in recognition, as she laid eyes on Nyota. She looked splendidly, sleek and somewhat exotic in a jade, wide dress covered by a transparent lemon yellow cape. Her hair was longer, sweeping past her shoulders and decorated with a sparkling, Orion-style pin. Nyota waved and Carol slithered through the throng towards her. As she walked closer and past a Trill, Nyota saw that Carol was holding the hand of a blond little girl, who could not be older than three.
Nyota was taken aback. She knew Carol had become a mother but had not expected her to bring her daughter along. Still she kept her smile in place as she looked down at the child who was regarding her curiously with wide eyes the color of Earthen oceans with an infusion of gold around the pupils. Khan's eyes.
"Hello," Nyota said giving Carol a one-armed hug. "And who are you?" she addressed the girl, crouching down to her level.
"This is Sarina," Carol answered. "Sari, say hi to our friend, Nyota."
"Hi," the girl said shyly, extending a hand in greeting.
Nyota shook the tiny hand. "Hi, Sarina. Welcome to Earth!"
# # #
A warm breeze caressed the flowers-encased terrace of Christine Chapel's apartment in San Francisco. The former nurse was on the thick carpet covering the small surface playing with Carol's daughter. The little girl seemed endlessly fascinated by the Earth's azure skies. Leaning against the banister, Carol enjoyed the air of her home planet filling her lungs, her gaze drifting between the sky-scrapers in the distance and her child, a pang slicing through her at the sound of Sarina's laughter.
"She's wonderful," Uhura said at her side.
"Yes, she is," she agreed. She fiddled with the coffee mug in her hands. "I'm taking her to meet my father," she admitted, contemplating the dark liquid in her cup.
"Does he...?"
"... know why I left Starfleet a second time? Who the father of his grand-daughter is?" She lifted her eyes to the compassionate ones of the other woman. "He does. Before I left for the Ceti Alpha system, I visited Earth to tell him about the first one. It ended up in a screaming match, during which we told each other once again just how ashamed we were to be related. I sent him a subspace message when Sari was born. He never replied, but I want her to know this part of her legacy. I'm taking her to London, too, to show her where I grew up... ."
A startled cry erupted from Sarina's direction. Carol dropped the mug in her hands and raced towards her daughter. Sari did not look upset, as she held her left hand up, a gash marring the palm, bright red blood drops dripping onto the beige carpet.
"I'm so sorry, Carol. This toy is supposed to be safe for children her age," babbled Christine.
Carol shook her head, barely glancing at the toy her daughter had broken in half. "Sari, are you in pain?" she asked, pulling a tissue from her dress pocket to soak up the blood flowing from her child's skin, as she gingerly craddled the injured hand.
"I'll get a dermal regenerator," Christine said getting to her feet.
"There's no need. Thank you," Carol told her. The cut was superficial and Sari's skin was already knitting back together. "Honey, we've talked about this," she said to her daughter, carefully studying her for any signs of discomfort. "You need to tell us when something stings or hurts and you mustn't squeeze or pull at anything too hard."
Sari nodded solemnly before her eyes roved to Nyota and Christine. "Mommy has all these rules, but Daddy says I can do anything I want," she explained.
It was a continuous contingent point between her and Khan, who, despite demanding absolute order and discipline as a ruler, had one policy when it came to raising his daughter: catering to her every whim. Of all the things she had expected from raising a family with Khan, her ending up being the stern parent had not been one of them.
# # #
The jagged, charcoal rock rose from the waters of the Ocean of Dust not far away from the southern shores. It was uninhabited, only a crimson moss that was indigenous to it marring its dark surface in places. Khan landed his shuttle on its edge and got out into the unyielding, howling wind of the planet he had called home for over a century now. The air was flagrant with the sweet, spicy scent of the water surrounding him. Above him the skies of the capital of his still rising empire were as ashen and implacable as ever.
It befitted him: this savage yet vibrant planet, where his family had finally found its place far away in both space and time from the tragedies of their past. They had built a world of their own making there and from it spanned a new empire of order that had started with the Tholian attack. Their victory had been swift and unquestionable and had transformed the Tholian Assembly into a protectorate, announcing to the entire quadrant that there was a new player on the galactic scene. After that, their growth had been steady and uninterrupted.
It had never weighed down on him and he had never swayed in his leadership of his people, not until that unusually tranquil and sunny day two decades ago, when his wife's hand had gone limp in his grasp. Before then he had experienced grief and sorrow, but that had been his first taste of genuine, biting loneliness. However, even the augment blood's regenerating properties had its limits and Carol had refused any discussion of resequencing her DNA, wanting to spend her life as human as she had been born. She had also turned down titles, honors and any celebration of her contribution to their culture, insisting that their family and her being of help was reward enough.
In keeping with her wishes, her funeral monument was modest, sculptured in the harsh rock and ornate discreetly with crystals of the planet's most valuable minerals, in the discovery and investigation of which she had participated. He stepped closer to the grave and traced the letters of her name carved in stone. One word, no ranks, no titles attached to it: Carol. Underneath it streamed the verses of Robert Frost, a poet Khan could not abide, but the works of whom she had loved:
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
~ the end ~