Murumuru twirled one strand of badly dyed violet hair around her finger as she watched the students of Sakurami High departing from their final afternoon classes. She could spot at least three fashion disasters and more than a few social outcasts. She sighed, playing disinterestedly with her fuzzy pink pen. It was tough being the well-endowed adopted daughter of the third richest man in America.

"Hey, you dropped your notebook on the stairs." Murumuru looked up, then raised her eyebrows. Houjou Reisuke. Fourteen years old and still buying his clothing from Children's Place.

"That's not mine."

Reisuke snickered. "Why's it got your name in it, then?"

"You looked in my notebook?!"

"Just the first page!" Reisuke backed away quickly, obviously valuing his life."Be glad an elite like myself found it and not some trashy senior like Amano Yukiteru."

Murumuru sniffed. "Yuki's not trashy. That bitch Gasai Yuno is, though."

"Are you serious?" Reisuke sat down next to her on the park bench that was apparently dedicated to the class of 1993. Murumuru looked down at his bag and scooted as far away from him as she could. God, what was the guy going to do with a pair of wire cutters and rat poisoning? "They're adorable together."

"You're gross, I can see why you'd like such a gross couple." She was about to go on when she noticed a distinctive garish orange jacket and uneven haircut coming down the sidewalk. "Shh."

"Wh-" Murumuru clamped a hand over Reisuke's mouth. The pair of freshmen watched in silence as Yukiteru passed by them. The boy's eyes were glued to his phone, as usual. He appeared to be kicking stones across the sidewalk, not really looking at them.

When she was sure he was out of earshot, Murumuru released Reisuke's mouth and let out a long sigh. "Look at how sad he is. He's practically a walking black raincloud. He needs someone to make him happy. Which Gasai Yuno can't. I heard she tried to blow up Uryuu Minene in chemistry once."

"Isn't Uryuu Minene currently suspended for bringing dynamite to school?"

"Exactly." She sighed again. "Gasai Yuno can't make anyone happy, let alone Yukiteru. But you know who can?"

"I don't think I want to know."

"Aru Akise."

Reisuke's spat out the gum he'd been laboriously chewing. What a gross guy, Murumuru thought to herself. Probably an arsonist, too, judging by what he has in his bag. "What?! That would never work! I'm an elite! I would know!"

"An elite in what? Call of Duty?"

"Look, Yuki needs someone with a taste for adventure like he has. Someone who's exciting and dangerous. Aru Akise's bor-ing."

"Excuse me? He's done detective work for the local police. That's pretty exciting. Also, he dresses well. Gasai Yuno looks like she borrowed clothing from both her mom and some town prostitute."

"How do you know Yuki's even gay?!"

"Idiot! You don't have to be gay for boys' love!" Murumuru had taken on a slightly creepy expression reminiscent to the way one looks at a particularly adorable kitten. "And there are more than two sexualities, anyways!"

"Boys' love?" Reisuke didn't even attempt to disguise his sniggering. "You are so delusional. Trust the word of an elite like me."

"Why do you keep using that stupid word?"

"Because I'm an elite and you're just some...some...midget with a spray tan!"

"Excuse me! I'm four foot three and my tan's real!" Murumuru had moved in closer to Reisuke, and she couldn't help thinking that this was exactly like the sort of thing that happened in cheerleading drama movies.

Reisuke pouted. "Anyways, you're delusional. Akise and Yuki would never even get along, let alone work as a couple. You've just been reading too much of that gross yaoi crap."

"So? Have you seen how Akise looks at him in the hallway? And how he always makes an excuse to bring him into conversation? That boy's got it baaaad."

"Oh, yeah? Well, Yuki and Yuno walk home together every day and I saw them holding hands in the hallway once!"

Murumuru shook her head. "You're seeing things that aren't there, Reisuke. Yuno drags him everywhere like he's her credit card and the world's a shopping mall. There's not a smidgeon of affection on his side." She stared off at the path leading away from their high school, which was dotted with fallen leaves and forgotten candy wrappers. "See? Look at them. Marco Ikusaba and Ai Mikami. They know about love."

"How do you know the names of random seniors?"

"Marco's my math tutor, okay? He always brings Ai with him, wherever they go. They're so cuh-yute. That's real romance right there. Did you know they've won cutest couple in the school newspaper every year since they entered high school? I dunno who everyone will vote for after they graduate."

"Yukiteru and Yuno!" Reisuke said gleefully.

"Shut up, oh my god! I don't think Gasai Yuno even has the word cute in her vocabulary."

"Alright, we've argued for like fifteen minutes straight, we've got to settle this like elites." Reisuke leaned closer to Murumuru, and she noted that he had a few creepy-looking felt finger puppets sticking out of his messenger bag.

"What''s up with those puppets?"

Reisuke shut his bag quickly. "Nothing, okay. I told you, I'm an elite. Now answer my question already."

Murumuru folded her arms contemplatively. "I think...I think...a bet. How much do you think?"

"One hundred."

"Two hundred!"

"Three hundred!"

"Five hundred!" Murumuru shouted.

Reisuke raised his eyebrows. "Five hundred bucks just on a couple?"

Murumuru rolled her eyes. "My dad's the third richest man in America. He's got a shaving cream company. I should give you his business card in case you ever hit puberty."

"Hey!"

"He has all these stupid slogans like 'makes you feel godly.' You should try it." She looked at Reisuke's deeply reddening face. Contrasted with his strawberry blond hair, she couldn't help thinking that he looked a bit like a strawberry. "No? Okay. Anyways, five hundred dollars. What are the parameters?"

"If you can get Yuki and Akise together by next Thursday, I pay you. If I get Yuno and Yuki together by next Thursday, you pay me."

"Isn't next Thursday a little soon? It's Wednesday today and...you know, relationships take awhile to get going. Not that you'd know, of course." Reisuke's blush deepened.

"Next Thursday or no deal."

"You're on." Murumuru reluctantly shook his hand to seal the deal in a way that the thicker boy would understand. She gathered her bags and stood up. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a limo to catch."

Little did any of them know, things were about to get very, very interesting for the students of Sakurami High.

okay okay hear me out i know this is stupid but high school aus are my lifeblood alright

if it wasnt clear already reisuke and murumuru are freshmen, yuki/yuno/akise are juniors, and marco and ai are seniors. yeah. stupid high school drama woohoo.