Aftermath

Summary: In his attempt to release all of the competitive pressure that has been building up recently, Rin unintentionally hurts Haru. Now he must deal with the aftermath. Rated M because you know. Sorry I suck at summaries.

Disclaimer: I do not own/have any rights to Free! Iwatobi Swim Club and its characters.

Rin Matsuoka was angry. He was more than angry; he was infuriated to the point where black spots appeared in his vision and he punched his fist into the wall of the locker room as hard as his adrenaline-fueled body would allow. The wall responded by sending a shock of pain through his entire arm, causing him to stumble backwards and grit his teeth. He gripped his fist with his other hand and hissed a string of profanities under his breath.

Deciding not to take a shower, he quickly threw a shirt on and grabbed the remainder of his things, for he knew the sound of him hitting the wall would attract unwanted company—namely that indifferent, cocky, condescending little black-haired brat that he could not bear to look at. He could already see the way his cerulean eyes would remain flat with disinterest and disapproval at Rin's actions, as his outbursts were growing much more frequent each time they raced one another.

The thought of Haru sent another surge of fury through his veins. He clenched his fists and tightened his jaw, wishing for a moment that the wall he had punched had been the swimmer's face instead. As he stepped out into the cool evening air, he ran his fingers through his hair and exhaled deeply in an attempt to calm his nerves. It just made him so angry.

As of late, they had taken to racing by themselves after their now-regular joint practices. Of course, Rin always won. That was not the problem. The issue was that Haru never showed any trace disappointment, or anger, or any emotion that would show that he cared about losing. In fact, there had been plenty of times where Rin was almost certain from the way Haru's voice sounded that he was happy. That stupid idiot was happy that he kept losing.

Initially, after everything that had happened and now that they were on better terms, Rin was not offended by the behavior. He was glad that he was winning; he did not need Haru to be upset about it. He took it as Haru's own, small way of rekindling the friendship they had as children—of rebuilding the structure they had already laid the new foundation to.

But then Rin lost.

It was only once, and it wasn't by much. Honestly, Rin knew it had nothing to do with his own ability. He had not slept the previous night because he had to cram for midterms, and he barely had any energy. It was apparent in his swimming and his face. Surely Haru saw it.

What pissed Rin off was that Haru was not happy about winning. Instead, he had stared at the frustrated Rin and pouted, as if he was disappointed that he had not gotten to be beat by his red-haired opponent. From then on, all of Haru's compliments and congratulations sounded utterly condescending. Rin did not take kindly to being patronized.

And today, he could take no more of it.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and slipped down a narrow pathway that veered off into the woods, determined to avoid the group of Iwatobi swimmers. He knew the path would lead him out onto a hill that was next to the road. Here he found solace in the sound of the ocean and the view of the crimson sunset. He remembered coming here with his father and his sister when he as younger, entertaining himself with the grand delusion that he could swim off as far as possible into the water until he touched another continent.

And with Haru.

Rin gave a jolt of his head to cast the memory away from his present musings, not wanting to think about the night he had come here with Haru when both of their parents were asleep. The thought seemed so distant in the past, a mere fragment of his childhood that seemed saturated with Haru, that he was surprised he remembered that night with such clarity. Rin had nearly drowned in the roar of the waves and Haru had saved him effortlessly, slicing through the water with an elegance that both excited and enraged the red-haired youth.

I'm not thinking about Haru, he told himself with finality. He decided to run the rest of the way home, allowing his frustration to filter into his body and carry his legs back to the academy. His dorm room was dark and silent when he got there. Nitori had come down with a serious case of the flu and had to be sent home until he got better. Rin had never been more thankful that he was not around. The silence would allow him to relax himself and get some much needed sleep.

He kicked off his shoes and headed towards the bathroom, where he started the shower. Throwing his belongings to the floor, he removed his sweat-drenched shirt and peeled his bathing suit off. The soreness of his recent excessive practicing was beginning to settle into his muscles, so the soothing warmth of the water was very welcome. It seemed to seep into his aching body, flooding him with relief. He sighed and pushed his hair back out of his face, allowing the water to wash away his stress and to clear his mind.

By the time he finished, the bathroom was filled with steam. Water particles clung to the mirror, fogging it up and obscuring his vision of his reflection. He grabbed a towel and rubbed it against his head until his hair was no longer dripping wet before wrapping it around his waist. He wiped away the steam from the mirror with his hand and took in the sight of himself.

He looked tired, to say the least. There were circles beginning to form underneath his eyes and a firm frown was etched into his jaw. He was subconsciously knitting his brows together, which he did not realize until he truly looked at himself. It was most likely that his perpetual scowl was the reason he had such a severe migraine currently. He forced himself to relax his face.

It's because of Haru.

His thoughts brought the scowl right back. Rin turned away from the mirror, huffing irritably. He opened the door to the bathroom and allowed the cool air to drift in. It chilled his body, causing goosebumps to form along his flesh. He shuddered and closed his eyes as he sighed yet again, determined to devote the rest of his night to extensive relaxation and anything but thoughts of that irritating rival of his.

Unfortunately, Haruka did not get the memo.

When Rin opened his eyes, he saw his black-haired opponent sitting on the bed stiffly. His blue eyes were as cool and collected as usual as he scanned over the room. Upon noticing that the Samezuka swimmer had emerged from the bathroom, the hue of his eyes seemed to become just slightly lighter as he noticed that Rin was standing in the doorway with nothing but a towel to cover himself.

Rin was, of course, instantly and unbearably aware of his own nakedness. He felt his face grow hot and he bared his teeth in wrath.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he spat. "How did you even get in?"

Haru merely shrugged, not tearing his apathetic eyes away from Rin. "I just came in."

For a split second, his eyes widened in questioning shock before he gathered himself and glowered in annoyance. "Of course you did." Even in his anger, he wanted nothing more than to be away from Haru, and so he went over to his dresser, taking out a pair of pants and heading back into the bathroom.

"Go home," he called. "It's getting late."

"It isn't a school night," Haru replied casually from the room.

Rin stepped back out of the bathroom, shutting the light off and walking to his desk to sit down. He pretended to do homework idly, pulling out a few notebooks and opening them to random pages. He scribbled nonsense into them as the silence preoccupied the space.

After a while, he could feel himself growing angry for what felt like the millionth time that day. Was Haru planning on just sitting there while he was clearly busy? Only he would show up uninvited, catching Rin off guard, and only he would just sit on his bed without telling him what he wanted.

He gave up twisted around in his chair. "What do you want?" he inquired reluctantly.

"To talk."

Rin scoffed and tried to sound casual as he went back to his fake homework. "About what?"

"You."

His vagueness was as annoying as usual, and Rin knew he would not have the patience for it that night. He clenched his jaw.

"What about me?"

"Well, you're mad at me," he said, as if it was the single most obvious fact in the world.

Rin returned the condescending tone. "Did I ever say that?"

"You don't have to."

"Well, I'm not," he lied.

"Then why have you been avoiding me lately?"

"I haven't been."

"You never talk to me anymore, and you always leave before I get to the showers."

"So? I have things to do."

"Like homework."

He stood and exhaled angrily. "Yes! Dammit, Haru, what do you want me to say?"

Haru was standing as well, his face calm. "I want you to tell me why you've been avoiding me."

"I just told you! I haven't been avoiding you. You're making things up in your head," he responded. "Are you going to sit here and interrogate me all night, or are you going to accept that I'm not mad and leave?"

"Do you want me to leave?" he questioned, his voice somewhat louder and laced with a challenge.

Rin gritted his teeth and his face went red. "Isn't that what I said?"

Haru glared back at him, the blue in his eyes glowing intensely. Rin refused to be the one to break the stare, regardless of how fast his heart was beginning to race and how red he knew his face was getting.

Finally, Haru said, "I thought you were done acting like this. I guess not." He sighed and turned to leave.

Before he knew what he was thinking, he instinctively reached out to grab Haru's wrist. The teen turned back to look at him questioningly, causing Rin to pull back and stare to the side awkwardly.

"You're…right," he muttered. "I'm mad at you."

"Why?"

"Because you keep being happy about losing," he admitted. "Anyone else would be upset that they keep getting beat, but you just—he clenched his fists at the thought—you just sit there and say, 'Good job, Rin' as if I'm some child that needs to be congratulated."

"Rin—

"I don't need you to tell me when I do a good job," he growled. "I know that because I win."

"Rin, I'm just trying to be nice," he explained.

The tone of his voice just wasn't sitting well with Rin at that moment. "Dammit, don't condescend me! Quit talking to me like you're better than me or something!" He pushed him against the wall, trapping him by planting his hands on both sides of his head. "Even when I beat you, you always act like I didn't! You always act like you're the one who won! Do you even realize how smug you are?!"

"I'm not trying to be—

"Shut up!" he roared. "Quit making me feel like I'm some kid who can't win at anything! I always win, fair and square, but you never make me feel like I really did. Why can't you just let me beat you?!"

The notion dawned on Rin as he met eyes with Haru while he yelled. As everything poured out of him, a new type of frustration filled his chest, burning through him like wildfire. He felt it blooming in his chest, shooting through his veins and extending all the way to his fingertips. It was like electricity that shocked his nerves as it surged through him and hit a certain dangerous spot in his mind.

Before Haru could voice a reply, Rin crushed his lips against his rival's. When the former tried to protest, Rin merely gripped his wrists and pinned them against the wall. To his surprise, once he had pried Haru's mouth open, there was no real fight. Haru was returning the kiss in all of its intensity, which only pushed Rin to deepen the contact by pressing himself against the teen.

When he heard the soft moan that escaped Haru's throat, Rin knew this was it. This was how he would beat him—how he would dominate him to the point where he would have to submit and recognize his own defeat. It didn't matter that Haru wasn't objecting; all that mattered was getting him to turn into liquid underneath him.

Gripping him by the waist and refusing to break their lip contact, Rin pulled Haru over to the bed. He broke away for a moment to push him down aggressively, straddling him. When Haru tried to reach for the redhead's shoulders, Rin shook his head and held the swimmer's wrists down. He leaned down and began planting kisses down Haru's neck, earning himself more satisfying noises of pleasure.

"Rin," he breathed, struggling to sound collected. "What are you—

He silenced him again with a fierce kiss. Haru made a muffled noise of surprise as Rin reached down and planted his hand firmly in between his legs. Rin pulled away and smirked devilishly at the sight of the shocked and clearly aroused Haru. He went back to work on his neck, this time nibbling at it with his sharp teeth.

"Rin," he managed through his moans. "Stop it…what are you doing…?"

I'm going to beat you this way.

He unbuttoned Haru's pants and slid them down, admiring the toned legs before him by kissing and biting at the tender skin on his thighs. He took Haru in his hand firmly and began pumping up and down, leaning up to give him yet another forceful kiss.

Haru broke away by turning his head to the side, his breathing jagged. "Rin…please. Stop it."

"No," he said finally, his voice steady and firm.

Haru's eyes widened at the feeling of fingers inside him, stretching him out. "Rin, don't."

He was beyond the point of going back. He was going to beat Haru once and for all. All he needed was one time of dominating him like this and he would be back to normal. They would be able to laugh and swim together without Rin constantly feeling inferior. He needed this, and he was determined to get it. Not to mention, Haru's words and his body were not in agreement. The latter was responding quite nicely to Rin's lust-filled aggression.

Rin pulled his fingers out after a while and settled his own hips between Haru's legs, keeping his other hand in motion as he did so. Taking a deep breath, he pressed himself against the swimmer's entrance, careful to give the teen's body time to adjust to the feeling without being in pain.

"Rin, I said I don't—

He was deaf to Haru's protests. He shut him up by pushing himself halfway in, causing Haru to throw his head back and cry out. Rin was much more careful as he pulled back out and pressed in again, this time going a bit deeper. Haru's nails were digging into his shoulders and his eyes were squeezed shut at the feeling. Moans continued to leak from his throat as Rin began moving in and out of him at a steady pace, each time going in further.

I'm going to beat you, Haru.

Rin began going faster, causing both of their moans to grow louder. He could not stop himself—it felt so damn good—and he gripped Haru's thighs as he allowed his instincts to take over. A million thoughts ran through his mind, but they gelled together—along with his vision—and caused him to lose control of himself. He gave way to the overwhelming desire that boiled through him. He could hear Haru struggling to say something, but he could not make out the words. All he wanted was to hear him make those sounds more, and the more he heard, the fiercer he grew.

"I'm going to—

Haru was cut off by the pleasure that exploded from both of them at the same time. Rin felt the warm wetness pour over his hand while he released in a climax of unimaginable desire. He gritted his teeth as a series of grunts along with Haru's name escaped his throat.

Just like that, it was over.

The moans of his name were gone, and they were left with the sound of heavy breathing. Rin pulled himself out and remained positioned over Haru, zoning out as he stared at the swimmer's collarbone in thought.

The feeling was gone as quickly as it had come. Rin was left with emptiness in the pit of his stomach. The high of emotions had settled, and now a sickening feeling of regret slithered into his body.

When he took in the sight of Haru's face, his heart dropped. He realized with a terrible feeling that this would not fix things for him. The swimmer's eyes were half-closed, and tears had gathered in the corners. Rin felt his stomach twist and his throat hitch at the sight.

"Haru, are you okay?" he asked concernedly.

Shit. This isn't what I wanted. I…wasn't thinking.

"I'm fine," he said, his voice low and empty. "It just hurt at first, so my eyes got teary. It was reflexive."

Rin leaned back and sat up. Haru pulled himself up and began dressing himself silently, keeping his eyes to the ground. Something about the way his eyes would not open all the way, and how his face seemed more vacant than usual was profoundly disturbing to Rin. It rocked him to the core, shaking him up and causing his heart to hammer against his chest while his stomach continued churning.

"I have to go," Haru said flatly.

"Haru, we should—

"I have a lot of homework," he interrupted, keeping his back to Rin.

The redhead pulled his pants back up and stood, grabbing Haru's wrist. The latter pulled away with so much force that his body pivoted around to face Rin, sending the shark hurling backwards. His blue eyes went wide and met Rin's own red ones for a brief moment before looking back down and glancing frantically around the room.

"What the hell, Haru?" he breathed, more incredulous than mad.

Rin was astonished at the disoriented demeanor of Haru, who was always perfectly composed regardless of the situation. The black-haired teen's mouth opened and closed several times, as if he wanted to say something , but could not find the words.

His voice was heavy and jagged when he spoke. "I'm sorry. I…have to go."

With that, he threw the door open and ran down the hall, leaving a stunned Rin calling after him in the doorway. The noise caused a few curious heads to peep out from their doors, which Rin answered with a threatening growl that sent them back into their rooms quickly. Frustrated, he slammed the door shut and ran his fingers through his hair.

I fucked up.

He held his head with both hands and let out a deep sigh, trying to steady his awoken nerves and his beating heart. He stood like that for a long time before allowing one of his arms to drop while the other clutched at his chest.

Not knowing what else to do, he threw himself down onto his bed and stared up at the bottom of the bunk above him. He was not sure how he should feel, but at this point any hint of anger was completely dried up. Instead, he felt hollow and full at the same time; he could not feel anything emotionally but his body was going through the motions.

I shouldn't have done that, he told himself. Even if he let me…Haru didn't want that. I should have stopped myself. I should have asked how he felt.

He threw his forearm over his eyes and sighed again. "What's wrong with me?"he groaned.

He rolled over to his side and squeezed his eyes shut, wanting to erase the thought from his mind. Somehow he felt as if he were trapped in one of those strange, inexplicably realistic bad dreams that he would not be able to wake himself up from. The harrowing nature of it all pushed him to believe that if he could just get himself to sleep, he would wake up the next day to find that it was only a nightmare.

Surely that's what it was, as the current Rin would never do something like that. It was too out of character for him after they had finally patched things up. He would wake up and Haru would know nothing about this nightmare. He would go to see Haru tomorrow, and apologize to him for being so moody lately. Then Haru would shrug it off and ask him to stay for lunch. It would be mackerel of course, and they would sit down to eat together. Rin would do most of the talking, while Haru remained stoic and silent. Then he would see Rin off, and at the next practice they would be back to normal.

But as Rin told himself this while the ebb and flow of sleep consistently tried to pull him under, he knew these were mere delusions that could carry him out into the smooth sea of dreams, only long enough to drown him in a storm of crashing waves. Here the whirlpool of guilt and regret would swallow him whole, separating him from the black-haired swimmer that he now wished he could grab onto and be pulled back to shore by.

He dreamed of that night when they had sneaked out to the ocean. This time, however, Haru did not come and save him. Instead, they were both drowned in the waves.

A/N: I'm sorry if this sucks...and I'm sorry Haru bby. Please let me know what you think, good or bad! It's much appreciated :)