Legendary Insanity

A/N: Heh. This is something I edited out of a conversation with pinkdragonflame, so she's the co-author of this chapter. ^^ I'll be doing guest roles...if anyone wants to be in here, that is. ^^ Also, note that Suicune, Celebi, Articuno, Ho-oh and Mew are female, and the rest of the legendaries are male.

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, I don't even own half of this fic. Credit goes to pinkdragonflame for most of Lugia's dialogue.



Chapter 1: Why Pokedexes and Insane Authors are Potentially Harmful to Legendary Pokemon

{{ Lugia's Chamber in the Whirl Islands. Ho-oh and Lugia are hunched over computers, currently looking at an online Pokedex }}

Ho-oh: Hey, look!! According to this, I'm 12' 6" tall and 439 lbs heavy!! I didn't know I was so tall!! *beams proudly* o^____________^o

Lugia: *looks at the Lugia entry* Ha! I'm EVEN taller!!! 17' 1"!!

Ho-oh: *switches over to Lugia as well* Hmmm...you're right... ;_;

Lugia: *throws out chest proudly* I'm the tallest and largest Pokemon of all!!

Narrator (Me) : Suddenly, a herd of Steelix stampede by....

Lugia: HEY!! *gets run over by a Steelix, or more accurately, a few Steelix, and is squashed flat on the ground*

Ho-oh: *miraculously escapes harm* You make a nice sticker, Lugia. *clicks on Pokedex entry for Steelix* Wow. Steelix are 30' 2" tall. And 882 lbs heavy.

Lugia: *makes a weird, 2D squeaking noise*

Ho-oh: T_T Breathe in...

Lugia: *gulping noise as he slowly inflates*

Ho-oh: *watches in interest* You'd make a nice balloon, too. ^___^

Lugia: Ok....so maybe I'm not the biggest...or the heaviest....*checks out his own weight*

Lugia: HA!!! See??!! I'm only 476 lbs!! I told you I wasn't a pig...but would you listen? Noooooooooooo.....

Ho-oh: *checks out her own weight at the same time* Did I say u were a pig? Nooooo....but you're still heavier than me. o^___^o

Lugia:

Ho-oh: Told ya to cut down on the candy....*smug look*

Lugia: *guilty look* I do not eat candy!!! *backs up against wall of cave and crams sweet wrappers into closet*

Ho-oh: *flaps wings* if you'd stop pushing me into water, I'll probably not have this growth defect...

Lugia: P Too bad...*pushes Ho-oh into a handy pool*

Ho-oh: *splutters and flails around* T_T You...you....How DARE you!?!?!

Lugia: ^_______^

Ho-oh: *scrambles out of the water and pushes Lugia into a pool of electricity which has suddenly and conveniently appeared*

Lugia: *gets fried* AAIIIEEEEEEEE!!!! #__#

Ho-oh: I wonder if KFC will accept fried Lugia instead of fried Ho- oh...*searches for "KFC accept fried Lugia" on the net*

Lugia: *miraculously revived* I'm not a chicken!!!!

Ho-oh: If you're not a chicken, then what are you? A turkey?

Lugia: I so-happen to be the greatest sea guardian of all time!! So there!! P

Ho-oh: And I'm the Goddess of Fire!!

Lugia: -_-;;; Weeeell...water puts out fire!!! So I am still the supreme being of ultimate power!!

Ho-oh: Fire causes water to evaporate!!

Lugia: But water WOULD put out fire before it evaporates!!

Ho-oh: Wanna bet?!?! *uses Sacred Fire on Lugia*

Lugia: *counters with Hydro Pump*

Narrator: A lot of hissing and water vapour rises and clouds the cave, causing red-hot droplets of water to fall on both Pokemon... ^___^

Ho-oh: *pants* You don't have ultimate power anyway.....I think Celebi holds that position....

Lugia: oO WHHAAAT??!!!! *flies off to argue with Celebi*

Ho-oh: Watch out for the...

BAM!!

Ho-oh: ...roof. -_-;

Lugia: x_x

{{ Somewhat later, in a marsh of different flavoured marshmallows }}

Celebi: *sleeping in giant chocolate covered marshmallow*

Lugia: *taking out giant laser borrowed from Darth Gary* hehehehe )

Celebi: zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz....

Lugia: *takes aim*

Celebi: *teleports to sleep beside Mew in the giant apple pie, having tired of the sweet, sickening smell of the inside of a marshmallow*

Lugia: *fires and hits the evil marshmallow monster, who devours him in a gulp*

Lugia: *inside marshmallow monster* Who turned off the lights? ¤_¤

^~^~^~Meanwhile, in the Ff.net Author's Lounge~^~^~^

Sal: *flies around the room with the Cape of Insanity on* Chu!! ^____________^

Pinkdragonflame: Poor ol lugie...^^;

Me: *eats some apple pie* Mff mffmmmmm ffmmmm!!!

BAM!! Crash rattle rattle...

Sal: *had crashed into the wall an is currently rolling around in the dustbin* Wheee~~!! o^_____________^o

Pinkdragonflame: Er....Doesn't it hurt? ^^;

Me: *swallows* I tried to warn him...but then I remembered that he had the Cape of Insanity on....

Pinkdragonflame: *nods wisely* Ahhh...that explains things...

*Door opens, and a bloated Umbreon with blue rings waddles in*

Lccorp2: *spots me* YOU!! You told me it was FAT-FREE!! Only after I finished eating the fudge did I noticed the label that said, 100% FAT!! DO NOT TAKE MORE THAN ONE BITE A DAY!! { For more info, please look for Emerald Destiny: The Johto Journey Chapter 6, which is at this point not up yet, so I advise you to read my review of Eskimo Jolteon chapter 51. ^_~ }

Pinkdragonflame: *splutters with laughter* W-What happened to you?

Sal: Chu!! *still rolling around, but now somewhat dizzy* @__@

Me: There IS a cure you know....*brings out purple box and opens it* But there's so little left, I don't think there's enough...

Lccorp2: Anything!! Anything but to be 40 lbs overweight!! *licks the remaining Fudge off the bottom of the purple box and shrinks somewhat in size*

Me: It's sold at the World Fudge Organization counter. Why don't you go there and buy more?

Lccorp2: 'Kay. *Faint Attacks away*

Me: Though I think it might be somewhat expensive...I got it free because I was the first customer. o^______^o

*Chapter fades out to a outraged scream in the background*

So, what did you think? Please review!! This is my first attempt at an insanity fic, so I'm not so good yet. If you want a guest role, please tell me in your review!!

~*Dawn the Espeon*~