Lily didn't sleep well. Each time she dozed off, brown eyes floated through her dreams, angry and watery by turns, staring accusingly at her. Having jerked awake for what felt like the thousandth time, she saw that light was pouring in through the cracks in the curtains. It was early, but it was morning, and there was no use pretending to sleep any longer.

She snatched up some clothes and headed to the bathroom, not wanting to wake the other girls. She dressed and crossed through the dormitory again, snatching a book off her bedside table on her way down to the common room.

As she descended the stairs, she glanced at her watch. It was half past six. Surely no one would be in the common room, at half past six on a Saturday morning?

Unless, of course, they'd been there all night.

As soon as she saw the lumpy form on the sofa, she knew. The blanket had mostly slipped off, revealing that he was still in his school shirt and trousers.

"James?"

He stirred. "Sir'us?"

"Do I sound like Sirius?"

When he realised who it was, he sat up hurriedly. "No… Just thought…"

"It's okay." She crossed the room as he sat up, settling himself at one end of the sofa, and curled up at the other end, facing him.

"Didn't think you were ever planning on coming this close to me again," he said.

"It's half six in the morning. Real life hasn't started yet."

He laughed, but there was a bitter edge to it. "Right. Are you saying I'm still asleep?"

"I'd hope you'd come up with a more exciting dream than this."

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head slowly. Lily fiddled anxiously with the hem of her jumper. "Why did you sleep down here?"

"I punched Sirius and stormed out."

"Oh." She blinked several times. "Er… why?"

"He was being a prat."

"Well, that's nothing new."

"I mean, he was being a prat to me."

"Ah."

"I did tell him before that we shouldn't play… you know."

"Oh."

"But you know Sirius."

"Hmm." She paused, waiting for him to carry on, but he didn't. She waited for what seemed like an age.

"I'm sorry."

It surprised her, hearing the words coming from her own mouth. He looked up, clearly twice as befuddled as she was. "Eh?"

"I'm sorry," she said again, and took a deep breath. "I shouldn't have… I mean… You don't kiss like a washing machine."

He stared at her for a few moments, before he began to laugh. "Evans, I still don't know what a washing machine is, that was the last thing I was worrying about."

"Fine. Your teeth are okay too."

"Good to know." He hesitated. "For the record, I didn't mean what I said either…"

"I know."

"Oh, do you?" There was a teasing edge to his voice and she gave him a look. "Potter. I'm trying to be nice. Do you have any idea how hard that is for me?"

"Where I'm involved? I think I'm starting to get it." He yawned widely. "Sorry."

"Hmm." Lily stared absently into the empty fireplace. She felt like she'd apologised for the little things, but not for any of the things that really mattered. "James?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for kissing you."

He raised an eyebrow. "Charming."

"I don't mean… Well, I suppose I do a bit. I just… I shouldn't have made you think I…"

"It's okay. I get it. Remus was very clear that I'd taken advantage of you."

Lily flinched. "I wouldn't say…"

"Well no, neither would I, but we all know I have a sketchy understanding of morality."

"No!" Suddenly Lily found herself annoyed again. "No. It was my fault. I was sad and scared and lonely and I used you and that wasn't fair."

For a few moments he held her gaze. Then he leaned back, closing his eyes, and a sad smile flickered across his face. "Okay."

"Okay what?"

"Okay, I get it. I'll let it go."

"Let what go?"

His eyes snapped open again and he stared incredulously at her. "This, Lily. You. Me. Us. Not going to happen. I get it."

"Do you?" Relief. Yes. This had to be relief, that she was feeling. It had to be.

"Yes." He closed his eyes again. "Just do me a favour, eh, Evans?"

"Hmm?"

"From now on, I'll call you Lily if you call me James. None of this Evans and Potter nonsense."

She had to smile slightly. "Agreed."

"Truce?" He held out a hand, eyes still firmly shut.

She squeezed it in return. "Truce."

She waited for several moments.

"James?"

"Mmm?"

"Can I have my hand back?"

"Nah."

"James!"

"All right!" He slid his fingers away from where they were entwined with hers. "Anyway, Lily dear, I must insist that you vacate my new bedroom, since I am in rather desperate need of more sleep."

"So go to your dormitory."

"Where dwelleth the vengeful Beast of Black? I think not."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine."

She got to her feet, book in hand, and headed over to the portrait hole. As she reached it, she turned back and looked at him.

James had resettled himself on the sofa, wrapping the blanket snugly around his shoulders.

Go back, said the little voice, which had been quiet since the morning before. Stop being so bloody proud and go back.

No way, she told it.

Maybe on day it'll be too late, warned the voice. Go back while you still can.

Lily gave her head a little shake. She was too sleep deprived to think straight. The voice didn't know what it was talking about.

The soft morning light fell on James Potter's hair, so that the black was streaked with yellowish beams.

"Night, James."

He made a noise, but she couldn't tell if it was a conscious response or a snore. Smiling in spite of herself, she clambered out of the portrait hole.

x-x-x-x-x

"You okay, Lily?"

Lily turned and smiled at Remus. "How'd you know I'd be here?"

"Lucky guess," he said, but not for the first time, she sensed that he wasn't telling the whole truth. He came and stood next to her at the Astronomy Tower window, staring out over the lake. "James seems to think you two made up."

"Yeah, we did."

"Oh?" He looked genuinely surprised. "As in, we're going back to him annoying the hell out of you while you come up with increasingly inventive curses?"

"As in, he's going to stop asking me out and I'm going to start calling him James."

"I haven't woken up yet. This is a dream."

"You'd think, but no. Have he and Sirius…?"

"I left them wrestling."

"Oh. Is that a good sign?"

He shrugged. "Probably. Peter's in charge."

"Good luck to him."

"He'll be fine. He was still asleep when I left. Still more responsible than those two put together."

She chortled.

"Lily? Can I ask you something?"

"Hmm?"

"When you… When you ended things with Snape was that… Was it because of what he said about me?"

She looked up at him, but he wasn't looking at her. His eyes were fixed on some unidentified point on the horizon.

She sighed. "No. Not really."

"Are you sure?" He turned to look at her, his eyes wide and anxious. "Because if that's all it was… He wasn't saying what you think he was saying, Lily."

Her brow creased as she tried to understand what he was saying. His eyes were boring into hers as though there was something he was trying to make her understand.

She had always thought that Remus' eyes were brown, but now that she looked closely, she saw that they were speckled with yellow.

"He called me Mudblood, Remus. In front of everyone."

He sighed, and bit his lip. "That's true."

"And it wasn't just me. He's as bad a bully as James, in his way, you know, hexing first years and leaving nasty little notes for Muggle-borns telling them to go back where they came from, whatever that means…"

Remus' arm wrapped around her shoulder but she shrugged him off. "Don't. I'm okay."

"Are you?"

"Well." Her eyes found the tree down by the lake where she had sat so often with Sev. "No. But I did my best, Remus, I really did… I tried to talk him round so many times. He promised me, once… Me over Death Eaters. Always. So much for that."

"You think he's made his choice, then?"

"I know he has. I think I knew a long time ago. I just kept hoping that maybe I could…" Her voice broke. "But it didn't work."

He put his arm round her again, and this time she let it stay there. They stood there for a while, staring out over the grounds.

"Remus?"

"Yes, Lily?"

"Try to make Pot… Make James stop torturing him, won't you?"

He chuckled softly. "Ah, Lily. I'll do my best."

"Thanks." She reached up and squeezed his hand, before pulling away. "I should go apologise to Mary, I was a bit rude to her last night."

"I'm sure she'll understand."

"I'm sure she will, but that doesn't make it okay."

"Fair enough."

She went to the door, but he called her back as she got there. "Lily?"

"Yes, Remus?"

"You could do much worse than James, you know."

She bit her lip, staring at him for a long moment. "I know," she said, very quietly. She wasn't sure if he'd even heard her, but she turned before he could push the matter any further, and scurried down the steps.

So there you go. Yes I KNOW you want them to get together properly but it's fifth year, canon says no so I say no.

Thank you to Divergent Olympian and Invisiblegirl3 for your reviews to chapter 6, and a huge thank you again to everyone else who has read, reviewed, followed and favourited this story.

The next in the series will be Black As He's Painted? and will be set at the beginning of sixth year. I haven't started writing yet, and I am ridiculously busy so I don't know how long it'll take me to post... It would be nice to get it out as a Christmas present for you lovely people but I'm making no promises. Hopefully see you then!