AN: I am so fucking sorry. I know you all hate me and I'm a lying piece of shit and I'm really sorry, I had meant to get this out ages ago, but shit happens. For whatever stupid reason, I decided to accidentily come out to my mother and then she ended up telling everyone else in my family behind my back, and all in all, I ended up very much watched and wasn't allowed to spend very much time on my computer because my mother decided that spending quality time with the family would somehow make me stop being gay. I never figured out the reasoning behind that. But then school started and between trying to write a novel for my Adv. Fiction writing class and having the rest of my teachers give me about 500 pages of reading a week, I didn't find much time to write. So there you have it, if anyone cared.

The Christmas Party

Or: In Which Draco Screams Like A Girl

Harry wasn't entirely sure what had happened, but in the course of the events of Christmas morning, his plan had gone horribly wrong.

Well, not horribly wrong, per se, because there was nothing horrible at all with what Draco was doing to him at that moment.

"Draco! Oh god! Fuck yes! Shit! Draco!"

"I never thought of you, Harry, as the type of person…..ungh….. to be reduced to a string of expletives while being….ah…. fucked."

"It just….oh god…….comes naturally when I say your name, Draco. Fuck!"

At any rate, Harry was very pleased that the present he gave Draco was well received, even if the outcome of said present wasn't what he had expected. Well, naturally Draco was confused at first. Who could blame the boy? When told his present is something to wear, he rarely expects that it will come in a glass jar. But Harry soon set him right, and showed him how best to wear honey. He then proceeded to show how best to take it off. Oh yes, Draco definitely liked his present.

The plan, though, was to reduce Draco to a quivering pile of Jelly simply begging to be fucked by Harry. Harry honestly did believe that his plan was working quite well for some time and was greatly encouraged. His false hope in his plan is most likely what caused him to be caught so off his guard.

Harry had assumed that when a young lad is lying on his back, screaming "God, Harry, I want you now," while having honey licked off of his netherest of regions, that he would most likely be begging to be fucked. Harry decided that perhaps he needed a "Draco to English" dictionary.

The force with which Draco leapt at Harry was so great and Harry was caught so unawares, that they both fell off the bed, onto the floor, and in the midst of discarded Christmas wrapping paper and bows. It was all so sudden that Harry barely had time to thank whomever it was that watched out for him that he'd managed to lick all the honey off of Draco's dick before it was rammed up his ass. Even with a lubrication spell, Harry didn't think that he wanted to be fucked with a honey covered cock.

Wrapping paper, tissue, and ribbons went flying everywhere as the two boys rutted wildly on the floor. Harry had to admit that at the moment, he really couldn't remember why he ever thought it was important that he be on top.

Harry somehow managed to maneuver himself to that his feet were propped up on the bed, thus allowing him to raise his hips up to meet Draco's every thrust and be penetrated all the deeper.

"Oh Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

"I am! I am!"

"Jesus Christ, Draco! Just keep doing it!"

Harry's whole body was shuddering every time his ass was penetrated, deeper and deeper by his boyfriend and his obscenities were being screamed louder and louder.

As much as he really really loved fucking Harry, Draco was beginning to have second thoughts about not letting Harry fuck him. He had never seen anything more spectacular that Harry being fucked. His face wreathed in ecstasy, his whole body convulsing, his breathing coming out in quick rhythmic bursts, his entire being begging and seeking for more. Draco was incredibly jealous.

"Oh God! Yes! Draco!" Although Harry was trashing about so wildly and his breathing was so ragged with lust that it's only a rough estimate that those were his words at that moment.

As Harry's orgasm hit him, he felt it not only in his balls but in the violent shuddering of his entire body. He wasn't sure now that he'd ever let Draco have a chance at the bottom.

At the same time, Harry felt the warm wetness of Draco's own climax spill deep within him. The two boys felt entirely boneless as they collapsed in a panting heap.

"Holy Fuck."

"That….was an awesome Christmas present, Harry."

"You're welcome…."

It was quite a while before the two boys managed to get up. They definitely missed breakfast.

*

"I'm not saying I didn't like it; believe me, I'm not saying anything of the sort. I'm just saying that you could have done a better job of licking off the honey."

After a great deal of effort, Draco had finally managed to carry Harry into the shower and they were currently standing under a stream of hot water in an effort to get unstuck. Honey and semen is a lethal combination when left unattended.

"Well I was doing the best I could and I honestly didn't anticipate you jumping me like that."

"What did you think was going to happen?"

"The plan was that I was going to fuck you. It's not my fault that you were so impatient that you couldn't wait to take your turn."

Finally they began to come unstuck and Harry slid down his boyfriend, thankful when his feet once more reached the ground.

"Well in the future, lover, remember that it's always my turn." To prove his point, Draco grabbed Harry's shoulders and turned him around to face the shower wall. Noticing that neither of them had their wands with them in the shower, Draco grabbed one of the shampoo bottles on the floor and poured a generous amount into the palm of his hand.

Draco began to use his fingers to coat the inside of Harry's ass. Harry barely needed, stretching, though, as he was already completely relaxed.

"You may want to grab hold of the shower railing, Harry."

Harry laughed at the suggestion, but found it immediately to be a good idea as soon as he felt Draco's cock buried in his ass for the second time in less than as many hours. Harry's knees went completely limp and he wondered where Draco found the energy to pound into him with that much force. Though Harry had to be supported by Draco in addition to gripping hold of the shower railing for dear life, he still had an incredible amount of power in his lungs and the whole bathroom echoed with Harry's enthusiastic shouts of ecstasy.

When both boys were spent, Draco had to further exert himself by dragging his boyfriend out of the shower as Harry's legs apparently refused to work.

"What's wrong with you?" Draco asked, looking down at his boyfriend lying on the bathroom floor.

"You have no idea," Harry responded in a dazed manner and with a grin worthy of a cat who'd fallen into a whole vat of cream.

Draco began pondering how he convince Harry to fuck him without looking like he was begging.

*

Harry's Dick was beginning to become quite perplexed. None of his plans had worked so far and he was running out of any ideas that could possibly outweigh Harry's apparent joy at taking it up the ass.. At this rate, Harry's Dick thought miserably, he was never going to get some. Harry's Ass told Harry's Dick to get over himself and to stop complaining. Harry's Dick considered telling Harry's Ass to go fuck himself, but he wasn't at all sure how that would work, so he remained silent.

*

By some miracle, Harry and Draco actually managed to make it to lunch on time. Well, almost on time. Fucking in the stairwell on the way there had taken more time than they had anticipated.

They arrived only a few minutes late, though. Draco tried to get Harry to stop grinning like an idiot, but he wouldn't. Draco could only pray that no one would notice how thoroughly well fucked Harry looked. Judging, though, by the snickers coming from the two Ravenclaws, it was ridiculously obvious.

"So Harry," one of the Ravelclaws leaned over to whisper, "It looks like Draco really puts out."

Draco strained to lean closer, but he couldn't hear what the boy had said. Harry just grinned even wider.

"Elliot and I," the Ravenclaw said indicating to his housemate, "were just betting that Draco must have a seriously fine ass to keep you from Breakfast this morning."

Draco did hear that comment, however.

"Excuse me, but I assure you, it was Harry's fine ass that kept the two of us away from Breakfast this morning!"

"Whatever," the Ravelclaw said with a laugh.

"Are you saying you don't believe me?"

"Yeah, that's what I'm saying," replied the Ravenclaw with a death wish who very quickly found himself grabbed by the collar and pulled out of his chair.

"Draco, just leave it."

"I will not. This twerp owes me an apology. And I should very well think, Harry, that as my boyfriend you should come to my defense!"

"Why should I?" Harry said, starting to get irritated. "There's nothing wrong with being a bottom."

"Hah! There you go!" said the Ravenclaw. "Harry just admitted to the fact that you're the bottom in the relationship!" It should be noted that the Ravenclaws had ten Galleons riding on Draco being the bottom. The Hufflepuffs, for whatever reason, seemed convinced that he was a top.

"Harry implied no such thing! Harry tell them the truth."

Harry refused to answer, however, as he was quite offended that Draco seemed to think being on the bottom was such an appalling thing. Harry had been perfectly content being the bottom, thank you very much, until Draco started making a fuss.

"Draco sit down, you're making a scene and you're simply encouraging them to pry even deeper into what I had assumed you considered your own personal business. If you don't want to talk about your sex life then don't."

"But Harry…"

"I said stop it, Draco. Otherwise you won't have a sex life to talk about!"

Draco sneered, yet set the Ravelclaw down and followed Harry's orders.

"Draco is so the bottom," Elliot whispered to his friend.

At the end of lunch Dumbledore stood up and announced that there was to be a special Christmas party that evening.

"And I very much hope that all of you will manage to be there," Dumbledore pointedly looked over at Harry and Draco. "And it's formal, so you can all dress up however you choose." Another pointed look was then given directly to Draco, which made him rather irritated.

As Harry and Draco walked out of the Great Hall, Draco glared at the two Ravenclaws who where whispering to each other in a conspiring manner, which made Draco even more irritated.

"Those Ravenclaws bug me," Draco said when they were back in the Slytherin dorms.

"That's just cause you let them bug you."

"But I'm serious, Harry! I think those two pricks have got it out for me!"

"They only tease you because they know they can get a rise out of you. You're a Slytherin, you should know all about that sort of thing."

"To be used on others, not on me!"

"Well, you want to know my opinion? I think you need to get over yourself."

"Hey, you're my boyfriend, you can't say things like that to me?"

"Oh can't I? I didn't think you were being at all nice to me during lunch, so I think that gives me to say whatever I want to say to you."

"How was I not being nice to you?! That's completely ludicrous!"

"You were implying, rather strongly that there was something seriously demeaning about being a bottom, and that offended me greatly. I let you fuck me three times this morning and I saw nothing wrong about it at all. Are you implying that I'm inferior to you because of that?"

"Well, you know the stereotypes of bottoms. They're always seen as the submissive one. The girl in the relationship."

"So you're saying that I'm the girl? cause if I remember correctly, you're the one who wears skirts."

"No, I'm not saying that. It's just that….all those people already think that I am a girl and it's really embarrassing. If they think I'm the bottom, then I'll never live it down! Nobody would ever accuse you of being a girl, so you have no idea what it's like for me. I mean, obviously they all assume that I'm the bottom simply because they think I'm a girl!"

Harry was seriously tempted to further chastise his boyfriend, but the fact that Draco was starting to cry made his heart soften a little. Draco did, after all, have some very deep seated issues and a very delicate nature. Harry sighed and crossed the room to put his arms around his boyfriend.

"Look Draco, I'm sorry. You're right, they do all single you out to be picked on and it isn't fair. I mean, there's no reason at all for them to pick on you based on their assumptions of our sexual positions. I was being insensitive. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? I'll do whatever you want, whatever will make you happy."

Harry cringed when he saw Draco immediately perk up.

*

"You have so got to be fucking kidding me."

Harry was seriously beginning to consider his relationship with Draco to be too interesting.

"I honestly don't believe this goes according to the dress code, Draco."

"Harry, I've told you, Dumbledore said we could wear whatever we wanted."

"But I really don't think he had this in mind."

"Of course he didn't. This in a one of a kind original; he'd have never seen it before."

"But Draco, it's thoroughly indecent!"

"You call that indecent? It's solid black from your neck to your ankles! You look like a freaking nun!"

"Have you ever seen a nun before? I assure you, they wouldn't wear this."

"You're completely over exaggerating. I'm beginning to think that you don't want to be my boyfriend. And I thought you cared!" Draco began crying again.

"Oh for fucks sake! If it means that much to you I'll wear it. But it I get expelled, I'm taking you with me!"

*

"Holy Shit!"

"Severus, please control your language in front of the children."

"But Albus, have you seen Harry?"

Dumbledore glanced towards the entrance to the Great Hall where Harry and Draco had just entered.

"Fucking Hell."

Harry and Draco appeared to be having a bit of a tiff at the door. Harry apparently wanted to hide behind Draco and Draco seemed disinclined to let him. When Draco finally pushed Harry away from him and towards the center of the room where the rest of the party was gathered, it became perfectly obvious why The-Boy-Who-Lived was suddenly shy.

The dress was black and did indeed go from his neck to his ankles…in the front. The back of his dress had what Draco referred to as a "Keyhole opening," although Harry considered it completely misnamed. There basically was no back, it was an opening that stretched from the back of his neck where there was enough material to keep it from falling off, and then all the way down his back, stopping only barely before it reached the cleft of Harry's ass. Truth be told, it did show Harry's ass, but as Harry failed to notice it, Draco didn't feel inclined to inform him. Both sided of the skirt were slit all the way up his legs, stopping just above his hip bone. If one were looking at Harry head on and he weren't moving at all, one might consider his dress to be thoroughly decent. If one were also standing in pitch darkness. The dress was made out of a very lightweight silk that had the added benefit of being almost entirely sheer making it perfectly obvious that Harry wasn't wearing any underpants.

"Minerva, get me a drink."

"Of course, Albus."

The twinkle in Dumbledore's eye suddenly developed a twitch.

*

At first Draco and Harry had difficulty realizing exactly what was going on. Everyone had been staring at Harry from the moment he walked in the door, so when everyone continued to do so, they couldn't very well mark it as a noticeable difference in their behavior. Slowly but surely, the differences started to become more pronounced. Everyone was noticeably more affectionate after a while, both to Harry and to each other. It was when they became affectionate to each other that Harry and Draco began to suspect that there was something amiss.

The final conformation that there was something seriously wrong with the population of Hogwarts was when Madame Hooch walked up to Harry, lifted the front of Harry's skirt, said "shit, it's wasn't a trick of the light," and then promptly turned on her heals in order to ravish Professor Trewlany instead.

Draco had been spending quite a bit of his time trying to fight off Harry's numerous admirers. One by one, everyone approached him and tried to have there nasty little way with him. Most of them walked away with a bloody lip thanks to Draco. Dumbledore, however didn't seem to take no as an answer very easily, so he walked away (barely) with a kick in the groin.

"I think there's definitely something screwy going on here, Harry."

"The headmaster just groped me…."

"This isn't a normal bout of drunken merriment, mark my words."

"He just walked right up and grabbed my balls……"

"I suspect there's magic afoot."

"Are you listening to me, Draco? Headmaster Dumbledore came up to me, lifted my skirt, and gave my testicles a going over!"

"I know Harry. I already kicked him in the groin for it. What more do you want me to do about it?"

"I need a drink."

"You've got it."

*

"Yes, I definitely think it's the punch."

"Oh God, Draco, I couldn't give a shit. Oh fuck, yes, right there…."

*

Severus Snape was severely put out. He was no fool; he knew how to identify potions by taste. Of course, identifying them by smell would be more useful the long run, but what can you do? The whole fucking school was under a rather strong aphrodisiac, including himself, and he was sitting alone in the corner having a wank. Typical.

Snape glanced out over the Great Hall. Everyone had someone except for him. It just wasn't fair. Minerva was making out with Hagrid (Snape made a mental note not to look back there later on). Hooch had her face buried in Trewlany's crotch. The headmaster appeared to be sitting by himself at one of the tables, but by the look on his face there was someone underneath the table between his legs. In the center of the room were the Ravenclaws and the Hufflepuffs in a naked heap, all "experimenting" en masse.

His breathing sped up a bit and his hand started moving even faster at the sight of the foursome in the middle of the room, but Snape didn't want to be the fifth wheel. His eyes moved on, yet stopped when the reached a very interesting sight at the head table.

"Now that's something I'd be interested in," he muttered to himself as he came with great force all over his dress robes. "These robes are ruined anyway." Snape began to unbutton his robes.

*

"Oh God Harry, just hurry up already."

"I can't find my wand."

"Harry if your cock isn't in my ass in two seconds, I swear to God….!"

"But I don't have a lubricant!"

"Oh for fucks sake! This is why I'm supposed to be the one on the top!"

Harry was firmly shoved off of Draco and onto his back. Draco reached down from the table and grabbed his own wand from out of the pile of his discarded clothes which lay on the floor. With a surprising amount of dexterity, Draco rammed the wand up his own ass a performed a lubrication spell. He then flipped the front of Harry's dress up towards his chest, exposing his gorgeous erection.

With a relieved shriek , Draco sat all the way down on Harry's cock and began fucking himself quite thoroughly. At Draco's piercing screams of ecstasy quite a few heads turned in order to see the all too captivating display of the Prince Of Slytherin impaling himself over and over on Gryffindor's Golden Boy. The curious foursome watched quite intently and silently wished they'd brought parchment for taking notes.

Harry and Draco were completely oblivious, of course. Somehow it hadn't occurred to them that Draco Malfoy screaming like a girl would attract the attention of everyone within a five mile radius. They just continued their fucking until they at one point changed positions, somehow removed Harry's dress, and fucked some more. Draco just seemed to scream all the louder until he finally climaxed and decided that there was very little chance that Harry was ever going to get a turn at the bottom again.

"Harry, as soon as I'm done passing out, we're doing that again."

"Sure thing."

Having decided that the exhibition on the head table was over, all eyes turned away and everyone continued their own rampant fucking until they too all passed out as well.

*

The problem with an aphrodisiac potion, as opposed to alcohol, is that while you don't have the bothersome problem of a hangover, you have the most painful fact that you do remember absolutely everything you did the night before. If vomiting occurs, it is usually an emotional response than a physical one.

One by one, everyone in the Great Hall woke up early on Boxing day morning and gazed curiously at whomever it was that they were entangled with. Some vomiting did occur. The naked pile of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, however, seemed surprisingly comfortable with the extremely intimate way they woke up, wrapped around each other.

Harry and Draco's reaction upon waking in the morning, however, had nothing to do with the company.

"I can't believe I let you fuck me on the head table in front of everyone."

"Well, you were quite insistent about the whole thing."

"Oh God." Draco looked out across the Great Hall and wished he hadn't. "That is wrong in so many ways."

Slowly everyone started putting their clothes while trying desperately not to look out at anyone else. Except for the curious foursome, of course, they had a grand old time getting an eye full, sick little voyeurs that they are.

"Draco, I can't find my dress."

"What's with you? Do I have to do everything for you?"

"I mean it. My dress is gone. I can't find it anywhere."

"Harry Potter, I know where your dress is."

Harry looked up to see that he was being addressed by a naked little Hufflepuff.

"Well where is it then?"

"One of the teachers took it."

"what? You mean it was confiscated?"

"No. I think you should have a look for yourself."

Harry didn't have the silly little Hufflepuff's self confidence in order to prance about completely naked, so he grabbed his now fully dressed boyfriend whom he forced to walk very closely in front of him as he followed the bare Hufflepuff ass across the Great Hall.

"Look, see!"

"Jesus. Fucking. Christ."

"I don't believe it."

Soon there was a fairly substantial sized crowd gathering in the North East corner of the Great Hall trying to see what the commotion was about.

"Merlin's Ball's! Severus! Wake up man!"

"Fuck off! I'm trying to sleep!"

"No, I really think it's time for you to get up now."

A very irritable Severus Snape crawled up off the ground and turned to glare at the crowd of people who were all staring openly at him.

"What on earth is wrong with you people?"

But nobody answered, they were far too busy gaping at the potion's master. It was nearly impossible to believe, but it honestly appeared to be true that Severus Snape looked even hotter in the sheer black dress than Harry did.

"Holy Fuck, Harry. Stop perving on your professor," Draco whispered very sharply over his shoulder.

"I'm not perving on him!"

"For Christ's sake Harry, your goddammed erection is shoved up against my ass. You think I can't feel that?"

"I thought that's where you liked my erection?"

"Oh God."

"You know, who gives a fuck about the bloody dress? Professor keep it if you want, I haven't got time to swap clothes."

With that Harry and Draco ran out of the Great Hall. Although, judging by the volume of the high pitched shrieks, they didn't get very far at all.