Something is said, it sits in my head
It's been there too long, it's killing me slow
It's rolling around, it's pushing me down
It's keeping the good part of me closed

It hasn't been long, that long since those last words were shared, since the last few nights we spent together. Although, that was nearly four months ago, time passes so slowly without you. Nightmares haunt my dreams; I find it hard to concentrate properly. I told myself I was going to wait forever for you. So each day I sit at the window, hoping you would fly down and take me in your arms like you did after a midday flight. I soon gave up, I locked myself in my room, hid in the darkness, in hopes that you would find me, and become my light again. Where are you, darling? These cracks in my soul aren't going to heal without you.

Can't you see that when I find you, I'll find me
Oh I need you know today I'll wait for you always
Oh I need you to know today I'll wait for you always

My heart feels cold, Iggy. What can I do to bring you back, when my actions pushed you so far away? But I feel you near and my heart is reaching out to you. Come back and hold me like you used to. Whisper me your sweet words of love. Let me make you smile; let me take away all the pain. Come back, darling, you're needed here. I'm sorry I ever hurt you, it was never meant to end like this. I need you, Iggy.

I miss you. I miss your carefree laughter, your smile. You aren't afraid to be who you are, to show emotion, to be open. You are sweet and loving, not just towards me, but towards the Flock as well. I miss your humour, your sick and twisted mind. I miss scolding you when you and Gazzy made bombs. Come back, Iggy, please.

My only weakness, is knowing your secrets
and holding them close, and hold them tight
I know the way to silently make you
Smile with my eyes, when you're trying to fight

"I'm not coming back, Max." Tears were strewn in his beautiful pale blue eyes. "I know you love him." I had taken a step towards him, pulling him into my arms and holding him as tightly as possible.

"I love you, too," I sobbed.

He stepped away. "It's not the same, Max. It's either me, or him."

"I can't choose between the both of you."

"Then don't choose either. This is your fault, Max. I love you, more than anything in the world, why can't you love me back?"

"But I do love you back!" I cried hysterically, reaching out for him. He turned away and I fell to my knees, looking up him as he took off. "Come back!" the scream tore from my throat, echoing over the canyon.

His words whispered around me… I'm not coming back, Max.

Can't you see that when I find you, I'll find me
Oh I need you know today I'll wait for you always
Oh I need you to know today I'll wait for you always

Three months and exactly twenty seven days later, Fang started banging on my door. When Iggy left had I stopped talking to him for weeks, slowly getting back into the rhythm of Fang being my right hand man, nothing more. I couldn't love him, I don't understand why I ever did. Because loving him at the same time caused all of this mess, all the pain I was in.

"What do you want?" I called out, hugging my pillow to my chest. He came through the door, dark hair tousled and mouth in a grim line.

He said one word that made me leap from my bed and run down the hall.

"Iggy."

Cause when I find you, I'll find me
Can't you see that when I find you I'll find me
Oh I need you to know today I'll wait for you always
Oh I need you to know today I'll wait for you always
Oh I need you to know today I'll wait for you always

There he was, in a bloody mess, standing in the middle off the room. Regardless of his wounds, he gathered me up in his arms, holding me close to him. We stood like that for what felt like a long time, and no one had come to bother us. Or maybe we just ignored everyone. All I could hear was Iggy's beating heart against my ear, his ragged breath, and feel his arms around me, just like he used to do. I stepped back, tears threatening to escape my eyes.

"You left me," I choked over my words.

He looked down at me before replying. "You left me too, Max."

I looked down at the floor, barely stopping myself from sobbing. "I'm so sorry, Iggy," I whispered. His hands found my waist, holding me arm's length apart.

"I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I left. I shouldn't have, it was stupid." He shook his head like he was ashamed of himself.

I cupped his cheek with my hand, guiding his mouth towards my own, but not yet kissing him. "I was the one who couldn't choose, Iggy." He took in a deep breath.

"Well, who do you choose?"

I smiled, pressing my lips softly against his.

"I choose you."

When I find you…
When I find you…

…I'll find me

"I love you, Iggy, and I always have, and I know I always will. My friend. My saviour. My love."

This was a short dedication towards my ex and I. It was a long distance relationship that ended all too soon. I learnt that all good things do come to an end, but it isn't something we must mourn over, because something new and beautiful will come around and greet you with open arms. Some sentences and words are quoted from a seventh month anniversary paragraph (Not exactly a paragraph...) that I wrote to him, in remembrance.

Laura Saturn