Hi Friends!

Well, this is the end of our long journey. I'll be honest, when I started writing this story I never imagined it would be so long. I am really pleased with how it has turned out and I hope you all liked it too.

So, I have never been one to write long recovery chapters. I hope that I have wrapped it up to your satisfaction. I know that I totally could have dragged this out another five to ten chapters, but it would have been just that, dragging it out. So, I tried to tie up my loose ends and give you closure.

I also want to thank Gothina for giving me advice on how to bring it to a proper close. Thanks!

Thanks for joining me for this ride! Thanks for reviewing, favoriting and following the story! All of your comments meant the world to me!

Please forgive any mistakes!

"Alright, but I have one last thing I want you to hear…"

"What?" Spencer asked right before he heard the gentle thump of something landing on the nightstand next to him before Rossi left the room. He wasn't sure what the older man had left him and honestly he didn't care. He just wanted to be left alone to sulk and wallow in his misery.

"This too shall pass…," Rossi said simply, closing the door behind his retreating back.

The genius's head jerked up at the words and he gazed at the doorway. How had Rossi known about those words? He had only told Morgan the significance behind that saying. The team must have found it traced on the window in his former cell.

Reid shook his head in confusion and realized that it wasn't the fact that Rossi knew about the words that mattered. What mattered was the man's reason for uttering them now. But how could the team expect him to want to share the most intricate details of his capture? Didn't they know how humiliating this whole experience has been for him? Couldn't they understand that what had been done to him wasn't something that was easily shared?

Of course he knew their reasoning for wanting him to open up to them. He knew what the statistics said, the earlier one seeks help the easier a trauma is to overcome. He was already showing the signs of PTSD, what with his flashbacks and his detachment to the team. He knew that he had a long road of nightmares in his future and given his already jumpy personality he would more than likely begin to experience hypervigilance. He was also aware of the fact that trying to suppress his emotions would lead to them breaking free anytime he experienced stress or accidentally let his guard down. In the end, he would end up destroying his relationships, lose his ability to function in the world around him, and spiral down into a pit of depression.

Yeah, he knew all of the facts about what he was about to go through. He just didn't want to do the one thing that would help him the most, talk. Who would he talk to anyways?

A therapist was out of the question. He wasn't going to divulge his feelings and emotions to a total stranger. Someone with the power to send him away if they thought his emotional state was beyond repair. Someone that could do to him exactly what he had done to his mother. No, that was never going to happen.

Garcia? No…he couldn't expose her innocent ears to his plights. It would destroy her sparkly innocence and corrupt her joyous personality.

Definitely not JJ. His stories would weigh on her mind for eternity and every time she interacted with him she would try to handle him with kid gloves.

Hotch? Rossi? Could he handle working with them day in and out knowing that they were aware of the horrors visited upon him? He would see the pity in their eyes every time they looked at him. Worse yet, they would try to block him from participating in any cases that even remotely resembled his experience.

Prentiss? Prentiss would have been a decent option if she weren't a woman. He was uncomfortable enough around the female species. He couldn't image how much tension would develop between the two of them if she knew.

The only option left to Reid would be Morgan. Morgan, Morgan, Morgan...probably the one person on the team that could actually semi-sympathize with his situation. But then again, Morgan's experience was years ago when he had been a young and vulnerable teenage. Maybe the other agent would resent the fact that Reid even thought that their situations were comparable. He had been taken advantage of when he was a kid; Reid was an adult that willing walked into a trap. The two events were like apples and oranges.

So what to do? He knew that whatever choice he made now would affect him for years to come. Did he want to shut everything away like usual and allow it to gnaw at his soul for the rest of his life? Or should he take a leap of faith and talk to someone about it?

Shaking his head in frustration, his eye caught sight of the object that Rossi had left behind, a phone. That bastard…the older agent knew exactly what he was doing when he walked out uttering his mother's consoling words.

Deciding that for once in his life he was going to do something completely out of character, he grabbed the phone and sent off a quick text.

The genius heard the door crack open cautiously, allowing some of the hall lights to infiltrate the dim room in which he was residing. He quickly steadied his gaze on the foot of his bed, purposely avoiding eye contact. His hand, shaking in anticipation, gripped the bed rail in an effort to hide the tremor. The agent issued no greeting to his teammate as the other man made his way over to the rickety bed. The only sound that could be heard was the scraping of the chair legs on the linoleum floor as his guest made himself comfortable.

The two friends sat there in silence for a few minutes, neither one wanting to be responsible for breaking the stillness that had settled over the glum room.

Reid knew it was his job to speak first, especially since he was the one that reached out to Morgan, but starting this conversation was turning out harder than he anticipated. He opened his mouth a few times, intent on baring his soul, however his nerves kept getting the best of him. He found that the only thing making its way out was another breath of air.

Finally, after ten minutes of psyching himself up, he finally forced out, "What took you so long?"

A sharp indrawn breath was his response before a, "Pardon?" came from his best friend.

"What took you so long to find me?" he asked again at whisper level.

Derek heaved a heavy sigh as a pained expression took over his face, "God…um…Reid, I'm so sorry that I didn't get to you sooner. I swear that I started looking for you right after we got that letter."

"You did? Than why - ," his voice hitched, "why did it take four months?"

"Well kid…I hate to say it, but the letter was pretty convincing and the team wanted to give you some time to explore the world on your own. I didn't agree so I recruited Garcia and we launched our own investigation during any downtime that we had," Morgan explained.

"You guys know that I would never leave you with just a note," he hissed vehemently.

Morgan decided to lay it all out for the kid, "I know that and I argued with the others about it. Honestly Reid, they were only trying to give you the space to figure out what you wanted. Emily mentioned that you were questioning your place in the world and that she wasn't surprised that you decided to leave for a while. So, everyone else felt it was best to give you your space and allow you to come back on your own."

"Then it's all my fault. I inadvertently set myself up for all of this," the boy murmured to himself despondently.

"How do you figure that, Reid? You couldn't possibly be blaming yourself for this?" Morgan asked in disbelief.

"But it is my fault. If I wouldn't have started wondering if my place was with you guys, none of this would have happened. If I had been satisfied with my life and accomplishments than you guys would have started searching for me sooner," Reid clarified, clutching his hand into a tight fist of fury.

"Okay, perhaps the others would have joined me in looking for you, but you couldn't have possibly prevented your abduction," Morgan said, trying to reason with him.

"But that was my fault too. Terry…um…Officer Edwards admitted that he took me because of a je ne sais quoi I exuded at the seminar Prentiss and I spoke attended. Then, to top it all off I stupidly fell for the trap he laid by inviting me to that awards ceremony. So honestly, how wasn't this my fault? I guess I got what I deserved," he said miserably.

Pissed off at the boy's self-depreciation Morgan practically yelled, "No! Don't even think that Reid. First of all, there was no way that you could have known that banquet was a sham. Second, it wasn't like you were out there taunting Edwards to take you. You didn't deserve a single thing that you went through!"

"I wish I could believe that…," the boy trailed off.

"Look…Reid…it's going to take time for you to accept the fact that this whole thing was out of your control. There was nothing that you could have done to prevent it, and sitting here nitpicking your actions is not going to help you," Morgan argued. "What's going to help you is opening up and acknowledging what happened. When you do that you can start healing and letting go of the scorn you feel for yourself. You can't run from this, Reid. Trust me, I know."

A cynical laugh came from the kid, "I'm not going to heal from this one, Morgan. This whole…this whole thing," the genius said waving his hand in the air, "has left holes in me so deep there is no way that I'll ever be able to fill them back in."

"Let me help you, or better yet let all of us help you," Morgan pleaded, leaning on the bedrail trying to catch those amber orbs.

Spencer turned his head away from his best friend and sniffled, "I don't know how to do that…it's like if I do my whole soul is going to be exposed, and that's just…it's just too…scary."

"I get that, I really do. Right now, you're thinking that if you shove it all down into the depths of your mind it will go away, but you're wrong and you know it. Hell, you're still recovering from what happened to you five years ago. This whole ordeal is going to take you even longer. The only thing that you can do is make the healing process easier," Morgan instructed with empathy.

The genius sighed and continued staring at the opposite side of the room, "You're assuming I want to heal, or even have a reason to…"

A chill rushed through the dark agent at those disturbing words, "Hey kid! Kid, look at me!" When the boy refused to engage with his friend, Morgan did the only thing he could think of and forcefully grabbed the boy's chin.

"Let go of me, Morgan!" the younger agent cried out, trying to rip his head out of the other man's grip.

"I will if you promise to look at me," Morgan responded, knowing that his actions were probably triggering a flashback.

"Fine," the kid cried out, clenching his eyes shut in an effort to push back the memories that were threatening to take over his mind.

The agent's grip fell away from the sharp chin. He patiently waited for his friend to calm down from the incident and when the brown eye's opened wide he immediately locked them in his gaze, "Tell me that you are not suicidal."

Spencer shifted uncomfortably at the blatant words. He wouldn't deny that the thought hadn't crossed his mind while he had been held captive. Heck, he had been thinking about it constantly since being rescued too.

"Kid, I know that right now your life seems more dark than light, but suicide isn't the answer. You are stronger than that," Derek began.

Reid, having heard this speech before couldn't handle listening to it again, "Just stop…I'm not stronger than that. Derek…if I could have figured out a way to end it while I was with my captors I would have done it. The only thing that stopped me was that they had me restrained and isolated, so that a way never presented itself."

"But you're not there now. You got out, you are free. Show them that they didn't destroy you," Morgan said, chilled to the core that his friend had been that desperate to end it all.

Again, Spencer let out a sardonic chuckle, "But they did."

"They didn't! You said it yourself, they only tore holes in you. We can repair holes. I mean, you are talking to a master drywaller here. I haven't met a hole in the wall that I couldn't repair," Morgan gloated, trying to get a small smile out of his friend.

The genius curled his lip in the corner at his friend's effort to add humor, "Yeah well, I think mine might be in the foundation. And you know what they say about faulty foundations…"

"That they take more work?"

Spencer snorted derisively at the question.

"Look, if you don't even try to do the repairs, you'll never know if they're possible," Morgan posed, stretching out his back as he stood up from the chair.

"I guess...," was the most Reid was going to commit to the topic for now.

The two sat in silence for a few more minutes before the genius asked the one question that had been hounding him since he woke up, "Who's watched the video files?"

Morgan had a chagrined look cross his face at the inquiry, "Not everyone."

"Have you?"

Knowing that the answer to this question was going to hurt his friend, Morgan tried to avoid giving a clear answer, "You know…no one is going to think any different of you after what you've gone through. The files had to be seen in order to log them into evidence."

The boy, determined not to be sidetracked, asked again with more intensity in his voice, "Have you?"

The dark agent nodded his head in admission.

"Oh God!" the younger man moaned, pulling his free hand up to his face and covering his eyes in shame.

"Reid…Spencer…it's alright," Morgan said gently, trying to soothe the kid.

"How? How is it all right? My best friend and colleague watched me getting…ra…assaulted over and over again. How can I ever look you in the eye again? How can I look anyone in the eye again?"

"Look, we had to watch it. We were looking for clues to help us find you…," Morgan trailed off knowing how weak the reason really was.

"Oh really, and how did watching me getting treated like a sex toy help you find me?" the genius spat out venomously.

"Come on Reid, you know that we had to cover all of our bases. I didn't watch them all, only a few sessions."

"That makes it all better…oh God…now everyone knows how disgusting I am," Spencer said full of self-loathing.

"Don't talk like that. We've gone over this already. What happened to you is not your fault. You are not disgusting, vile, or any other insulting adjective you can think of. You were a victim to a horrific crime, what happened to you does not reflect on who you are now."

"Don't. Call. Me. A. Victim," Reid snarled with a vehemence Morgan had never seen from him before.

The agent held up his hands as if to ward off the boy's anger, "Alright, you aren't a victim. I'm sorry."

Reid ignored the apology and slammed his fist down onto his thigh over and over again.

His best friend jump up out of his seat and grabbed the boy's willowy wrist, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, kid! Stop! That's not going to make anything better."

Reid fixed a cold stare at the dark agent and said, "It makes me feel better. Now let me go."

"Not until you promise that you'll stop," Derek countered.

Reid jerked his hand trying to break his friend's grasp but was unsuccessful. He then started pulling harder and harder against the mighty grip and lashing his legs back and forth, "Let me go! Just let me go! I'm not worth it Morgan! Just leave me alone!"

Instead of listening to the boy's pleading requests, the agent did just the opposite and wrapped his arms around the tiny torso sitting on the bed. He felt his friend stiffen in fright at being touched so intimately after his experience, but he didn't care. The kid desperately needed to feel comforting human contact and Morgan was going to give it to him. He felt the boy's uninjured arm push against his chest to put some distance in between the two of them, but that only caused Morgan to squeeze him tighter. The muscular agent then started murmuring into his friend's ear, "It's okay…let it all out. I'm here for you. You're safe now. I'm not going to let you go. We'll get you through this, I promise! You are going to heal. You are going to move on and you are going to get better."

The boy's resolved cracked and his flood gates opened. Grief-stricken sobs poured out of the kid's mouth as he finally stopped struggling and collapsed against Morgan's muscular chest. His protesting arm ended up clutching his friend's t-shirt in a desperate fist, almost as if he were afraid that the man would disappear if he let go. His tears soaked the maroon fabric beneath his cheek while a strong had suddenly started to caress his hair.

The two men sat woven together on the bed until the boy's sobs became tiny cries. The whole time Morgan never once stopped whispering comforts into Reid's ears. He didn't let go until he heard a sniveling sound come from his friend and realized that some tissues were in order. He gently placed both his hands on the scrawny shoulders and eased his friend back a little. He reached over and grabbed the box of Kleenex and passed them over to the agent.

The kid took the proffered tissue and proceeded to blow his nose. After he was finished he lifted his sanguine eyes and meekly stated, "I don't know how to do this, or even where to start."

Scooting back from his friend to give him some space, Morgan answered, "Just start at the beginning."

8 Months Later

Reid took a deep breath as he entered the bullpen for another day of reading files, providing consultations, and possible chasing down criminals. He made a beeline for his desk and noticed that no one else was around yet. He looked at his watch that was sitting on the outside of his purple sweater-vest; it was 12:10. He wasn't late, he was never late. Actually he was just getting back from a consultation at one of the local D.C. police precincts. He had gone straight there this morning instead of coming to the office first.

Deciding that everyone else must be off to lunch he turned his attention to his overflowing "In Box" pile and took the first file of the top of the stack. He had been back at work now for over four months. Reid would have been back sooner but they forced him to take an extended medical leave. He had to meet with a therapist multiple times a week and attend group sessions in order to help his recovery.

Honestly, if it hadn't been for the team there would have been no way he would have initially attended those meetings and appointments of his own free will. His surrogate family had been very verbal in convincing him to let the healing process occur. So for once in his life he put his complete trust in his family and followed their advice.

Walking into his appointment was probably one of the most difficult things he had ever done. He hated the whole idea behind therapy and how he was supposed to pour out his secrets and problems to a complete stranger. Of course, he didn't like divulging his secrets to people he knew either. In fact, up until that point, Morgan was the only person that he had revealed everything to. So, it wasn't surprising that it had taken him weeks to open up completely to his doctor, but when he finally did he actually felt better.

While Reid was definitely feeling better about himself, he was nowhere close to being healed. He still jumped anytime someone touched him. If he had even thought about dating before the incident, it was totally out of the question now. Honestly, the genius wasn't sure he would ever be ready for sexual relations again in his lifetime.

Another aftereffect he had incurred were the constant nightmares that plagued his sleep. Throughout the first two months after his rescue he woke up at least three times a night in a shivering sweat. There had even been a few occurrences of him lashing out at whomever had been unlucky enough to wake him. Luckily, his sleep has become more and more peaceful as he has learned to deal with his trauma.

One of the worse consequences of the whole ordeal was the fact that he was leery of anyone that wasn't closely related to his team. A nagging voice was always in the back of his mind warning him whenever he encountered anyone unfamiliar. This made working cases quite a struggle for the already social awkward genius.

His friends, though, had followed through on their promise to help him through it. They were always keeping an eye on him and watching for signs of PTSD. At first Reid had been annoyed with how much they were looking out for him, but a freak panic attack out in Portland, Oregon when a local LEO had roughly grabbed his arm convinced him that their services were both beneficial and necessary.

Now, here he was eight months later, and those holes that he told Morgan about in the hospital seemed to be getting filled in.

As he looked back and thought about what started it all, his self-doubt about his place in the world, he couldn't help but laugh. How could he have been so blind to see that he had been right where he belonged all along? This was the one place in the world where he felt that he could make the biggest difference, but also where he felt the most comfortable and needed. Over the past few months his family had really shown him his worth. He was a friend, best friend, son, godfather, brother, and confidant. He couldn't think of another place on the planet where he could be all those things at once.

"What's put that goofy grin on your face?" a husky voice asked with a hint of humor.

The doctor spun his chair around to find his best friend standing behind him with an extra-large coffee clasped in his fist, "I was just thinking…"

"Oh, do tell. What has got the good Dr. Reid smiling like a nerd at a Star Trek convention?" Derek asked, reminiscent of conversation they had years ago.

"Nothing…," Reid said elusively.

"Come on pretty boy. I want to share in the happiness," the agent prodded as he gestured for his friend to get up and join him in taking a walk.

The genius acquiesced and followed his friend down the hallway, "I was just thinking about how stupid I was around this time last year."

"Whoa, hey now…I thought I told you not to think like that," Morgan said quickly, his humor turning into worry.

"Oh no…it's not like that. I was just thinking about how I wasn't sure about my place in this world and the whole time I was right where I belonged," Reid explained, turning the corner and stopping with Morgan at a closed door.

"Ahh, yeah…okay. I'll agree with you, that was pretty stupid," the buff agent said flashing his dazzling white smile.

Reid smiled back and looked at the other man's hand perched on the doorknob, "Is there another surprise party hidden behind that doorway?"

Morgan, knowing that his friend hated surprised, said, "Yeah…I couldn't stop those girls. Just do me a favor and act surprised."

Reid couldn't hold back a rare beam and said, "No problem."

"Here we go," his best friend said as he opened the door and placed arm across the boy's shoulders, ushering the lanky man into the room.

Spencer put on his best fake smile and walked into a giant shout of, "Surprise," from the other agents. In that moment, he realized that the smile wasn't so fake after all.

I hope to see you again on Reid's next adventure!