Author's Note: Hi, everyone! I dedicate this story to Jilian (aFineMess5) for still being my friend even though I introduced her to The Nanny XXX Parody. I have a good portion of the story done already, so that's cool. Anyway, hope you guys like it, and if you want to fan girl over Niles & CC with me, you can find me on tumblr (ccbabcocks) and twitter (rupertqiles)!

Bundle of Joy Chapter 1 – Maggie

The bright, welcome smiles and cheery, pastel scrubs of the nurses do nothing to squelch the dread that forms a knot in her stomach as her heels click down the linoleum hallway.

It's not that CC hates hospitals, not that she looks forward to entering a breeding ground for death and disease, no, it's that she hates babies.

Well hate's a strong word. But if the cold, heartless shoe fit…

She just didn't see what the big deal was, anyway. Babies didn't do anything except cry and make a mess. She once saw a documentary on the Discovery Channel about deer and learned a newborn deer could stand within 10 minutes of being born, and walk within 7 hours. Now that was impressive. Newborn babies couldn't even sit up by themselves. They were basically just useless lumps.

CC rolls her eyes as she nearly bumps into a man, or rather the giant teddy pair he's holding that is somehow supposed to be charming, rather than a complete nuisance.

More specifically, this is what she hates: people who make a big deal over babies. 'What the hell use does a baby have for a giant bear that's 10 times its size? They don't even know what bears are. I bet newborn bears can already hunt full-grown deer...'

She shakes her head to chase away the thoughts and plasters a smile on her face. Sara is her best friend and if Maxwell and Sara wanted to start producing spawn, so be it. She would be there for them and smile and pretend to care.

A candy striper points her in the direction of her friend's room, and CC tentatively knocks.

"CC! Come in! Come in!" Maxwell greets enthusiastically as he opens the door, immediately knocking the wind out of her as he envelops her in a tight embrace.

"Oomph," C.C. replies gracefully.

Maxwell loosens his hold on her so that his hands are instead gripping either shoulder. "Oh wait till you see her, CC! 9 pounds, 10 ounces! Can you believe it?"

CC widens her eyes to feign shocked interest. She has no clue if this means the kid is a shrimp or a tub of lard, but Maxwell seems to think it is important.

"Congratulations!" She replies weakly.

"Don't hog her all day, Max. Let her come see!" A tired voice calls out from inside the room.

At this, Maxwell lets go. "Ah, yes. Go right in, CC. I'm off to get Sara lunch. I trust you can handle things at the office while I take care of my girls?"

CC nods, deciding not to remind her boss that she handles things at the office even when his wife didn't just have a baby.

Another quick hug and he's off, practically skipping down the hallway, unable to contain his joy.

CC braces herself, prepared for her dear friend to look like she had gone through a zombie apocalypse (another drawback to the whole having a baby thing, if you ask her.) However, she's pleasantly surprised to find Sara looking lovely as ever, not a hair out of place as she smiles serenely and gestures to the pink bundle in her arms.

"She just finished nursing; she's already so good at latching! I'm just so amazed by her."

CC has no idea what 99% of the words in that sentence mean, but Sara sounds impressed, so she just smiles and congratulates her friend.

"Would you like to hold her?"

CC freezes.

"Oh…really, she looks so comfortable in your arms, Sara, I'd hate to cause her to fuss," She hopes that would be the end of that.

Sara shakes her head, already maneuvering the infant to hand her off, "Nonsense, CC, you have to hold her! Maggie, say hello to your Aunt CC!"

"Must we subject her to cruel and unusual punishment already, Mrs. Sheffield? The poor thing is barely a day old."

CC's eyes snap immediately to the doorway, where Niles stands, holding of course, a ridiculously sized teddy bear.

Sara chuckles as Niles places the stuffed monstrosity on a chair, bends down, kisses her cheek, and congratulates her. "Now, now, children, play nice today. I don't want Maggie's first words to be an insult!"

The sworn enemies roll their eyes good-naturedly, and CC hopes she will luck out and Sara's previous demands at holding her child will be forgotten now that The Creature from the British Lagoon had arrived.

"CC, come here."

Luck is not a lady. Luck is a cheap floozy, looking for her next fling at the nearest dive bar.

"Oh all right. Let's get this over with," She mutters, and she swears she hears Niles try in vain to cover up a snort of laughter.

"What was that, CC?" Sara asks, too entranced by her newborn to hear.

"I said I can't wait to hold the little darling." CC says, thinking quickly, as the baby is plopped into her awaiting arms.

"Good God!" CC exclaims as the full weight of Maggie is placed in her arms, Maxwell's earlier excitement over his daughter's weight now making sense. "What the hell have you been feeding this kid, Sara? Everything?"

Sara laughs, "She's my little butterball!"

"Aw look at that, she takes after you!" Niles says as he nudges CC.

CC shoots him a glare and looks down at the baby in her arms, her features immediately softening.

She is cute; she'll give the kid credit for that.

"You're a natural!" Sara exclaims.

CC smiles as the baby's mouth rounds to a perfect O as she yawns contently…

And promptly projectile vomits all over CC.

For what seems like an eternity, the room is dead silent in shock at what has just happened.

Finally, Sara speaks, trying very hard to contain her amusement, "Oh…oh dear. I guess she was really full. I am so sorry, CC. We will, of course, pay for your dry cleaning."

CC bites her tongue as Sara hands her a cloth to wipe herself off with, knowing her one-of-a-kind Chanel suit will never be the same regardless of how well it is cleaned.

"It's fine, Sara. Really. Um, can someone take her? I can't…" She motions to the towel in one hand and the baby still nestled tight in her arms.

"Here…let me," Niles manages to get out, his voice coming out in tiny squeaks.

CC looks at him. His face has turned beet red as his lips scrunch up, trying desperately to hold back the peals of laughter that so obviously want to explode from well within him.

"Oh, shut your stupid trap," CC snarls as she places the now-sleeping-peacefully baby in his awaiting arms.

Niles closes his eyes while his lips still hold back a satisfied smirk.

"Sara, I will see you when you get home. Congratulations again!"

With a curt wave and a swift turn on her heels, CC Babcock is gone.

Finally, Niles and Sara burst out the laughter they had nearly failed to contain.

"The poor dear," Sara exhales, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. "I can't wait till she has a little one of her own. She'll be so in love with it she won't care what it vomits on!"

Niles sighs in pure glee, not allowing himself to picture the Abominable Babcock reproducing little she-devils of her own. For now he's content staring at the new little life, who had made his whole day and did not even know it.

"Maggie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."