Dragon Ball Z and its

Characters are owned by Akira Toriyama

Not me…. No law sues for me!

Yeah yeah… it's been a long time… But hey! Here it is! The finale!

Forgetting To Remember: Chapter 15: Hopefully

Pan's POV

I woke up to a painful sharp pain in my heart. My hand quickly went to grasp my chest as I cried in agony. Sweat rolled down my forehead as it mixed with my tears of pain. Sweet Dende, it felt like a clamp was slowly crunching it, while a million needles pricked it.

"Pan!? Pan, what's wrong!?" Trunks yelped, leaping to my side, after I had woken him up with my cries.

I couldn't complete coherent sentences. "Medicine!" was all I managed to cry out. He understood and quickly dived for the pain reliever standing on my drawer. He shakily unscrewed the top and quickly went for my mouth so that my pain could come to an end.

"You okay?" he asked silently when my cries ceased to be present.

I nodded, tears slowly streaming down my face. I may not have been able to feel it for very long… but by god my time was so near. So… desperately near. I can't be strong for much longer. I never really understood how painful this would be. I turned to look at Trunks, alert and eager to aid me in any way he could. At least it wasn't lonely…

Still lying down, I raised a tired hand to my forehead and felt a weight change in my bed. Trunks had laid down next to me and lifted me up a little so that my head gently rested on his warm chest. "Panny?" he choked out, as his arm came over my shoulder.

"What's up?" I responded digging my nose in his shirt. Dende, he smelled so good.

It took him awhile before he replied. "I'm so sorry I did this to you…"

My eyes flew open. Him? Trunk never did anything. It wasn't his fault I suffered in silence. He was just making his life. I simply chose to keep my mouth shut… it could never be his fault. "Don't be stupid. You didn't do anything silly…"

He burrowed his face into my hair and we remained silent for a time. "Please don't go this way Pan…" he cried. "Not this way. We can cure you!"

I rolled my eyes. Dying wasn't so bad… I just wish that Trunks-

"Please don't leave…" he continued, holding me tighter with every word.

Just tell me that I shouldn't leave you… promise me a life together… do it and I'll fight Trunks… Give me a reason…

"Please don't leave… us. Your family, all our friends…"

A dream will always be a dream. Some part of me always knew that he could never love me the way I did him. The way I wish he did. "Trunks…" I whispered.

He continued to pour his tears into my head, begging me to live for the sake of my friends, my family… but never him. The one thing that I needed to hear most. I could at least acknowledge the white elephant in the room.

"Trunks… There's something I always wanted to tell you…" I sniffed. He squeezed me to let me know he was listening with his full attention. I took a big breath before continuing. In what way would it help? I don't know. But I at least I could get it off my chest. I couldn't leave without at least telling him the truth. "I've always loved you… I just never said anything because… you were already happy. And I didn't want to make your life awkward and weird because of me." Another moment of silence took over. I finally worked up the courage to lift myself from my position and look at him. "I know it's weird but-"

He lunged to grasp my face in both his strong hands and kissed my forehead. "Panny… My Panny… Please don't leave me…"

My eyes sealed tight. Too little… too late. He hugged tightly, almost scared that I would die in that moment. He wasn't mine. But I would always be his.

Trunks' POV

I could never let her go. She means so much… I just wish that maybe… I just wished I loved her the way she loves me. Dende knows I want to so badly… but something holds me back. Is it because if I do it now, it'll only seem to be because she's dying? Or is it Marron?

A mixture of things forbid me from telling her that I loved her so damn much. She didn't deserve this. She deserves love and comfort. Not some guy who opened his eyes too late.

She had fallen asleep. I wore her out after crying so much. She slept peacefully on my chest, my hand stroking her hair while the other held her tiny palm so tightly.

I would be a coward if I told her I had always felt the same. It made me sick to my stomach thinking of such lies. It was her strength, her fearlessness now that was slowly churning my heart, compelling me more and more. Her confession to me sealed it. This strong girl… was a woman I loved. I just wished that I could overlook everything in my life and tell her I felt the same. But I can't. Marron was the one for me, not Pan. I hate myself. How can it be that someone like Pan chose to love a fool like me?

I don't know what to do. Maybe if I had allowed myself to love her before… maybe if the age wasn't between us… We could have been amazing. Thoughts of us being together swept my mind. She was so strong… so proud. There was a time when I had played with the thought of me liking Pan. The timing of those thoughts had conveniently occurred when Marron and I had our first serious fight. Marron had claimed that I was too distant… too cold, she had said. I was frustrated with the fact that she couldn't wrap her head around my heritage and where exactly that side came from. I told her I couldn't exactly help it. She refused to accept that explanation and the whole thing blew out of proportion.

Pan had been visiting Bulla at the house when she noticed me sulking. I eventually caved and told her what was up and after that, we didn't really need words. She had completely understood me and where I came from. It had been so clean and simple. I didn't need to pull my hair out or repeat myself. Pan knew. Because she was like me. She just got it.

That night I looked at Pan in a different way. I looked at her like a match. My equal. But those thoughts stopped just as they started. Needless to say, that I was pretty repulsed at myself for not only thinking of Pan in that way, but also thinking of someone else in general. Marron may not understand, and she may be different, but it is because she is different that I need her. 2 Saiyans doesn't exactly add up to perfection. We would butt heads way too much.

I looked down at her. She was pretty when she slept.

What am I going to do? Would it be okay to just let go? I look at her and all these emotions come bubbling up to the surface. It makes sense. Her and I. But what was it that kept me from giving myself to her? Just for these last few possible hours.

There was someone outside the door. I could detect the energy and its owner. What was my father doing here? I moved every so carefully out of the embrace I was in. If I woke her, I'd probably never forgive myself. I made my way towards the door. He was already expecting me. He didn't knock, which only meant he wanted to talk to me and me alone.

I opened up the door and sure enough there he was. Arms crossed, snarl prominent. "What are you doing here?" I ask, whispering through my teeth. He would never understand.

"Watch your tone boy. I came to tell you that whatever your stupid heart is going through, you must let go." His eyes bore through my own. I was terrified to look at them for too long.

I looked away, towards the floor. I kept my hands from fidgeting by stuffing them into my pockets. "I don't know what you mean. You should go home if you're not going to help," I spat.

He looked irritated as usual and waved me off. "Do what you will then. But I don't want to hear you sobbing like an idiot later. This will be your own doing boy."

It annoyed me that he chose now to give me advice about my personal life. I watched him as he walked away from the mess I had created. Maybe he was right. If my father of all people was telling me to let go… then maybe I should. Marron and I were technically broken up… I wouldn't be doing anything wrong…

My damn morality won't let me go. I would be doing something wrong. I wouldn't really be reciprocating Pan's feelings. Not in the purest way that two people could love one another anyway. I'd be doing it as some sort of sick experimentation… or because she was dying. It couldn't be love.

But why did it feel like it? I was still standing in the hallway with my back pressed up against the door. I let my feet give out and I slid down until I was sitting on the floor. My mind was never going to let me do anything. I had managed to kiss her. But though I logically knew it was wrong… I felt it shake me to my core.

I managed to pick myself up and go back inside. I just needed a sign that wasn't my father. Just one sign. As I walked closer to Pan's room, the soft sounds of Pan's breathing became louder. I stared at her from the doorway. She was really something. My feet treaded ever so quietly towards the bed. I sat beside her, an inch space between us. I didn't want to touch here. I couldn't. I was surprised that my movements hadn't woken her up immediately, but as I kept fidgeting with my position, she stirred and searched for me with her hand. I felt a knot in my throat and bit the inside of my cheek when I reached back for her.

"Go back to sleep," I whispered, squeezing her small hand.

She turned to look at me and gave me a sleepy smile. "I can't," she yawned.

When I couldn't convince her, she pulled herself up and I couldn't resist the urge to pull her toward me. Yet again, her head rested against my chest. I had to tell her. "Panny…"

"Hmm?"

"I have to tell you something. I never allowed myself to love you… I guess there were different reasons as to why like our age difference and my relationship with Marron… but I need you know that I've always felt something. And I'm sorry that it's taken me this long… I just didn't-"

I briefly glanced down to see her looking back at me. She was quiet. But there it was again. She didn't need to say anything. And neither did I. She understood me, and where I was coming from.

It was like instinct. I shut up and I moved closer to her. In that moment, at that second, we were made for each other. And once again, our lips met. But this time, it didn't feel wrong. I didn't feel guilty. I just felt raw emotion. What I was afraid of feeling if I thought about it too much. But at that moment, it was tender. She understood me completely. And that was something I wouldn't be getting with anyone else.

As we pulled apart, Pan went back to sleep, clutching my shirt in her fist. I pulled her closer to me. She was so frail, it was scary to think that I could break her if I wasn't careful enough. Panny… My Panny. Her breathing lulled me to sleep and I couldn't help but inhale her scent as I drifted off. I could stay like this. I didn't ever want to wake up.

The warmth of her body had left me. I woke up to feel the cold feel of her skin. I was still holding her tight against my body. My heart beat rapidly. I pushed her head underneath my chin and tears began to stream down my face and onto her dark hair.

"No, no, not yet, please, not yet! Panny…" I sobbed. "Please, I wasn't ready yet Panny, please don't go." I began heaving as air completely left my body. I cradled her head close to my chest. "Pan, don't leave me. Not now, not ever…"

3 months later

It's strange. I thought I would feel better after the funeral but even now, she haunts me. So much time wasted. So many opportunities gone. Marron and I never got back together. I think deep down we both knew that me being by Pan's side as she left would change me. Maybe we could rekindle our relationship someday. I live the life of someone who really has nothing. I wake up, I go to work, I come home, I sleep. That's it.

Pan's family members were an absolute mess. But there wasn't a dry eye anywhere. Her death brought a lot of things up. Bulla didn't show up to work for the first month. I think Gohan and Videl are still refusing to leave their daughter's picture. I had called Bulla first when everything happened. She was so much stronger than I was. Needless to say, our knowledge of Pan's illness was kept secret.

I still feel her phantom body next to mine at night. I wouldn't feel right sleeping next to someone for a while. I still have hope. Hope to keep on going. Hope to smile again when I think of her.

Jesus. 4 years… hehehe…. Here you go! I know it's sad but… I mean, what did you expect?