Holy shit, am I really writing this fic? I think I need to try my hand at something more challenging for me in the walking dead fanfiction and this idea has been stirring in my head for a long time. Please review, really it keeps me motivated to update the more reviews I get the better.

Pregnant

The dictionary states it meaning as "Expecting young" or "Carrying life within a body" as well as "The result of sex between a man and a woman."

But what does it truly mean to be pregnant?

The one thing a dictionary neglects to tell you about the word "pregnant" is how your filled with worries and fears as soon as you see the little red plus sign sitting in its humble window mocking you with the brightness of the crimson red and the way the lines cross forming a plus sign that makes your tiny already fast beating heart sink to the pit of your stomach where apparently life is growing inside.

Hair, nails, eyes, ears and everything in between that a human has is forming inside of you.

The way one eyes hurt from sobbing so hard as soon as it sinks in,

You're pregnant.

A dictionary doesn't tell you the true meaning of pregnant, it doesn't say shit about the tears you shred and the fears that fill your mind as you stare at the pregnancy test in your hands.

Something so tiny yet life changing that will forever change who you are.

These were usually the thoughts that pondered Lilly's Caul's mind whenever she was alone.

Like now, alone in her and her lover's dull motel room with wallpaper that looked like a rose parade puked up on it.

She breathed in the stiff air in the room; she really should open the window soon.

She then sighed exhaling the stiff air as she stared at the pink floral wallpaper. A color like that made her want to vomit the contends of her stomach, and that wasn't the morning sickness for once.

She sighed once again these past few months had been a journey of unknowing for her.

For starters her body changed greatly, she felt she was 12 years old again going through that awkward stage of puberty and getting the "Ever so wonderful" talk that she was blossoming into a young woman and this was "A golden moment in life".

Ah yes because painful cramps every month, period leaks though her new jeans , pimples and hair in awkward places is such a wonderful way to spend your teen years.

But this was different...

She wasn't a 12 year old girl worrying about such silly things anymore like how her hair looked for prom, or how long it would take to do her hair, she was a 29 year old woman with something actually worth worrying about...

She lightly pressed her stomach which had formed into a round bump over the past eight and a half months, against the wall and its pink floral wallpaper.

She pressed slightly harder almost expecting her stomach to just deflate like a beach ball if you unplugged the plug that kept the air in and her stomach would return to its former state of being flat and with a small amount of muscle tone to it.

But that was dumb.

Her stomach wasn't carrying air and she couldn't just deflate herself and have things "happily return to normal". Like that could ever happen even if she could do that...there lived in a world where nothing mattered but survival...where there's no such thing as a second chance.

Like before, she wasn't carrying air

She was carrying life...a child.

A small flutter in her stomach cause her to eyes to slowly fall to her round abdomen, she rested her hand on it as she felt another round of tiny movement, as if the child's way of trying to comfort her in her state of distress.

She rested her other hand on her stomach.

'I'm sorry...'

Was all she could think of...she never planned for this; she never planned for many things.

A zombie apocalypse, falling in love and parenthood...

All three things she never thought she would have to deal with when things were normal.

But all three of those things happen and here she was paying hers and hers child price. Both of them most likely to live a short and cruel life, a fail and fragile newborn and it's weaken from childbirth mother...and when it cried it would always be a risk of walkers.

How she longed for things to return back to normal, where if things were different she would be supplied with whatever baby supplies was needed, or going to much needed doctor appointments and have pictures of ultrasounds framed on the wall.

But things weren't like that, there was no "Babies R us" store where she could simply waltz in and she and her lover could debate on what pieces of furniture would match the color of paint for the nursery walls.

But of course reality can be a cruel thing...

She was stuck staring at the rose parade vomit wallpaper rather than newly painted blue or pink walls, there was no doctors, a drawer would have to serve as a crib and she and many other knew she was barely eating enough for one yet alone two.

Yes, reality can be a cruel thing...

The quiet turning sound of the brass door knob turning fallowed by the soft creak of the wooden door opening cause Lilly to turn her head and forced the smallest of smiles.

"I thought you were taking watch for the rest of the night?" she stated but regretted that being her first choices of words rather than something like "I missed you." Or "Hey honey."

But as cruel as reality could be it had a few perks.

"Carley offered to cover for me tonight." Mark said as he removed his jacket tossing it aside then ran a hand through his black hair and smiled. "And I missed you." He added sweetly as Lilly rolled her brown eyes.

"You know eventually everyone's going to start saying no." She scoffed. When was the last time Mark had actually done a full night watch? Soon enough the group would start saying no to the "My girlfriend's pregnant" card and finally stop giving up a decent night's sleep just so he could snuggle with her girlfriend.

Mark chuckled lightly and reached out, brushing a lock of Lilly's brown hair out of her face. "It's late." He stated as Lilly once again rolled her eyes but glanced at window, nothing but the ink black sky and a full moon. How late was it? Midnight? And didn't Carley take afternoon watch today as well? Chances are the reporter wouldn't be such a happy camper when morning rolled around.

"Okay fine, I was getting tried anyway." She answered with a shrug of her shoulders as Mark set his glasses aside on the night table and the two slipped beneath the stiff and rather itchy blankets the motel had to offer them.

Lilly felt Mark warm arm around her while the other rested a hand on her stomach as another flutter of tiny movement might had been the only thing keeping the two lovers awake.

The former military woman allowed herself to sink deeper into Mark's embrace. It was odd...no matter how much Mark showered or sweat he always seemed to carry the scent of cologne, mostly on his jacket...not that she minded in fact she adored it. She hasn't gotten around to asking him what he uses.

But then again that may sound weird...but if there are walkers everywhere something back when things were normal seemed like something from a cheap horror film what doesn't sound weird nowadays.

The pilot blue eyes gazed down at her and he ran a hand over Lilly's swollen stomach.

"You know..." he started as he eyes darted to the ceiling. "We haven't talked about names."

With this statement Lilly froze. The topic of names never once crossed her mind, once again the reminder she was carrying a kid that would be raised with a name and be cursed living in this hellhole.

"Right..." she muttered quietly avoiding Mark's gaze as he returned his eyes to Lilly.

'Fuck is this really happening?'

Although it may seem stupid but even with her once flat and tone stomach becoming ballooned out and a baby fidgeting around inside she still held onto a sense a denial.

"I like Mason for a boy." Mark suggested.

"Lawrence." Lilly boldly replied without giving it much though, now she really wished she paused for a second. Of course her Father, Larry, wasn't happy when he found out about Lilly and Mark's relationship and that cold stare she gotten after all the yelling and fights once her pregnancy was unfolded for all to see...the cold look in her father's eyes actually made her scared...she wouldn't say her father hated her but there was now there was always a look of disappointment and coldness in his eyes whenever they were close...but maybe it was just her or just hormones but maybe they was the smallest hints of worry in his eyes...like fear for his only living family member.

There was a long pause between the couple until Lilly shook her head. "Nothing mind, Mason is a good choice." She spoke finally breaking the pause but sounded almost monotone, dry and emotionless.

"A-are you sure I-"

"Mason's fine, I like Mason." She reassured him. "I really do."

'I'm going to be a mother...'

"I mean if you want to name him after you...never mind." The raven harried man started but was smart enough to end it, catching on to how depressing the topic was for her.

'This is fucking real...'

Mark coughed to clear out whatever was causing the silent paused between them. "Okay, Mason it is then."

'I'm bringing a kid into this mess.'

"And for a girl...I was thinking..." He started thinking deeply his hand now resting under his chin as he though.

'I'm a mom...'

The normally strong and brave woman couldn't take it anymore a single tear rolled down her cheek followed by another and another; once she started she couldn't be stopped as if her brown eyes were waterfalls.

"Lilly? What's wrong?!" her boyfriend asked quickly changing his attention to his sobbing lover.

"I-I'm fine." She lied barely able to choke it out wiping her eyes and painfully forced a smile on her face for his sake. "Just pregnancy hormones, you know...moody as shit." She cried forcing a fake dry chuckle.

Mark wrapped his arms around her holding Lilly tightly. "You sure? if you need to talk about anything." He offered as Lilly looked at him finally smiling for real.

"I know..." she whispered as they kissed then returned to trying to get some rest.

"Just try to get some rest...see you in the morning." He yawned then went to doze off.

'See? Your be fine Lilly, you got Mark..everything will work out.'

But of course if "work out" meant the form of a group of rowdy drunks, gunshots, a gush of water and a Swiss army knife...

Yes reality can be a cruel thing...

Ta-da chapter one is up! :D Hope you like, read, review and fave!