Hello my loves. I've decided, in spirit of the quarantine to finish and edit this story. I've gone back and edited for grammar, consistency, and the like. I hope you continue to enjoy my work. Hope you are doing well.

The rated M stuff is Chapter 12, so skip there for that. It's a good one, promise.

Chapter 1: Red

It's been a while since she last thought of anything other than Steven betraying her and Harvey distancing himself from her. Selfish and Embarrassing – she thought to herself. But it's true; it's been a while since Steven hasn't attacked her in her dreams and it's been an eternity since the last time Harvey comforted her or told her he cared. It's been a while since the last time she felt genuinely happy, but when she remembers her own smile, the only thing she can think of is the way Steven caressed her skin. Revolting and Nauseating. It's been a while since she last felt she could eat anything without feeling disgusted with herself – but she didn't feel hungry anyways.

Donna felt weak: unstable on her own feel and shaken by anything and everything. Yes, she hasn't been Donna in a while, but Harvey just didn't seem to notice, so she carried on with her charade: dragging herself to work after another sleepless night only to see Harvey and Scottie walk together into the building, almost happily.

Of course, as per everyday, Harvey won. He'd wanted to celebrate this particular night because she did, in fact, promise; she's been blowing him off every time, but this time, no excuses. After he'd sent Scottie back to her Manhattan flat – Thank God they didn't live together yet – Harvey came back to the office to proceed, as per their usual routine, only to find Donna asleep on her computer in her cubicle. Sighing, he walked closer to take a longer look at his overworked secretary. She seemed weary and jaded; her figure was noticeably thinner than just two months ago, her aura seemed downtrodden, and the twinkle in her eyes that he loved more than anything else was often not to be seen. Yes, she hasn't been Donna in a while, but Harvey just didn't want to point it out – thinking how scared he'd be if his suspicions were true. A couple more minutes waiting wouldn't do me any harm. He sat next to her on the side of her desk, attempting to reassure himself that she was fine.

She started mumbling quietly, but there was a sense of urgency in her quiet whispers. After a passing second, Harvey could make out the sounds "No, Stop. Please. No." It was disconcerting and scary to see her so vulnerable, so fragile.

Harvey placed a warm hand on her back, "Donna, wake up," shaking her slightly, "Donna." She flinched back and awoke, clearly startled and unstable, "Donna – it's me. You're okay. It's me."

"Harvey," she whispered in recognition. Deep Breaths, Donna, Deep Breaths. That was a dream. "Harvey," she placed her hand on top of his, "Let's go celebrate – big victory! You owe me at least five outfits for this one!" Her attempt to lighten the atmosphere obviously failed, but Harvey let her have this one – he could ask more after they were full with whiskey.

Even though the question on his lips about her health was obviously more pressing, he switched and laughed, "Of course, you can have a whole new wardrobe," She turned to look at him with a smile. "Come on – my office." Their hands were still linked so he just pulled her up with one swift movement. She stumbled, leaving heavily on her cubicle – he looked at her with worry, but Donne quickly dismissed him with a wave of her arm.

"Harv, I'm fine, seriously," She walked ahead of him into the office, head held high, no stumbling, even though her body wanted to keel over and faint. After walking in she sat, unceremoniously, onto the large leather couch.

Harvey reached over her to grab a particular vinyl and set it on the record player while pouring them both a generous amount of McCallan. With Miles Davis playing in the background and the New York skyline defining the backdrop, things seemed perfect, like old times. He sat right next to her and let his arm drop on her shoulders, pulling her into him.

"Harvey," she said with warning while untangling herself from his arms.

Quietly, he whispered into her ear, "I'm here for you, you know that right. You can tell me anything," he proclaimed, seriously – "Don't build a wall against me."

"I'm fine. Stop. Just drink your whiskey in silence," she said tiredly.

"Is this about Steven?" he pushed, sipping the alcohol.

"No, Harvey. Seriously," her hands went up exasperatedly.

"Donna – is it about Scottie?" he looked at her inquisitively.

"Harvey. Stop," she looked down at his nice leather shoes, "I don't think this was a good idea – we're not the same as we were." Her thoughts were screaming at her to admit some weakness, to accept his casual comfort, but she couldn't. Suddenly, she stood up, wavering slightly, "I'm going to go. See you tomorrow Harvey."

He was speechless. But it was Donna – if she wanted to go, who was he to stop her, however much he wanted to.

She made it halfway to Harvey's desk before she started feeling dizzy. Almost to the doors, her legs became jelly. Finally, the dizziness became vertigo and the jelly became water. The only thing she could do was hope that Harvey would catch her before she hit the ground.

Of course he was staring at her back. He first noticed her shaking, then walking in a strangely almost-drunk crooked line; he was always on high alert around her. He noticed that she began closing her eyes as if she were going to faint. He stood up and rushed forward, hoping he would make it before she crashed onto the floor.

Harvey caught her in his arms and slowly sank down onto the carpet with her resting in his arms, "Donna!" She seemed unconscious, but she was still breathing. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and was about to dial 911 when her eyes fluttered open, and she brought a hand up to stop him.

"I'm fine Harvey. I'm fine. Just a little dizzy." Obvious lie, "Too much alcohol." Another obvious lie – she barely had any at all.

"Something could be wrong – please let me take you to the hospital. You look pale." He was genuinely worried.

"Wow Harvey – just what every woman wants to hear," she quipped at him, "Besides. I'm naturally pale," she tried a smile.

He smirked at her attempt, "I just," he swallowed, serious again, "I just need you to be okay."

"I am fine. How many times have I said that already tonight?" She started standing up, but she felt as though she couldn't and leaned back down, "Damn it."

Harvey quickly wrapped an arm around her waist and slowly brought them both up from the floor; "Let me at least take you home"

Leaning into his strong arms, the proposition didn't sound half bad. But before she could respond, her stomach lurched and she gagged. Understanding, Harvey brought his trashcan over and held her hair while she kneeled and threw up the meager contents of her stomach.

She leaned back onto his chest, barely able to support herself, "You okay?" he asked carefully, while slowly running his hand through her fire red hair.

"Just take me home, okay?" She acquiesced to his proposition; not responding to his question because another 'I'm fine' would clearly be ineffective.

He wanted to ask what was wrong, but after seeing her pained expression, he didn't want to hurt her more than she already was, "Can you stand?" he asked cautiously.

Donna struggled to her feet and placed a hand on Harvey to balance herself. She nodded. Harvey slipped his right arm around her waist and held her left hand in his. Slowly, they made their way out of the office. Halfway to the elevator, she started slowing more and getting out of breath. Rather than let her push through, Harvey stopped and picked her up, wedding style – she was too tired to protest.

Ray was waiting for the two of them in front of the building. Harvey carried her into the car and lightly strapped her in. The driver seemed unbothered by the additional member on his car. After stepping out, Harvey told Ray, "Her place," he stroked a lock of her hair, "Actually," he changed his mind, "Mine."

"Mr. Specter, if you don't mind me asking, is Ms. Paulsen okay?" Ray asked worriedly.

Harvey ran his hand through his gelled hair, "I don't know." He sighed.

Ray looked guilty, as if he knew something, "Ms. Paulsen usually walks to work from her apartment because it's close. She's been asking me to drive her before I pick you up. She's been staying later as usual as well. This morning, she," he paused, wondering whether or not to say, "she seemed unable to stand, so I tried to convince her to take a day off, but she wouldn't listen." The driver paused again, "I'm sorry Harvey, she made me promise not to tell you, but I should have. I definitely should have." He glanced worriedly at the pale form resting in his car, berating himself silently.

Ray's story only heightened Harvey's worry. He was mad at himself for letting it get this far. Whatever it was, he could fix it. His fists clenched and unclenched. "Thank you Ray. I know Donna can be quite persuasive. Thank you for telling me," Harvey slid into the backseat again.

Once again, Harvey wrapped his arms around her, but this time, she leaned into his warmth. Her whole body shook and her arms were clutching her abdomen protectively. "Thank you Harvey."

"Only for you," he smiled. Then, he covered her hands with his, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine." She didn't meet his eyes.

"Donna…" his voice edged higher in concern.

"Nothing, promise. My stomach is just cramping a little. Seriously, stop worrying about me. I'm fine." Donna reassured him as well as she could.

They sat together in comforting silence on the route home. When they reached Harvey's building, Donna finally concluded that this was in fact their final destination, "Harvey," she sighed exasperated, "I'm fine. Take me home," she pleaded, "Please Harvey."

"Donna, I just want to make sure you're okay. Humor me." He smiled, extending a hand for her to come out of the car, "Besides, you've slept over before," he stated with a smirk.

Sighing, she obliged – it was too much effort to fight Harvey and she was a little touched by his words, "Fine. Only today," She let Harvey help her out of the car.

"Thank you Ray, see you tomorrow." Donna waved at the driver.

"Always. Goodbye Ms. Paulsen, Mr. Specter." He tipped his hat to them both.

Harvey turned to the redhead leaning on his arm, shivering even in her overcoat. He cloaked her with his own coat and encircled her with his arms, leading them into the lobby of the ornate building. In the bright lights of the lobby, he could see her ghostly pallor clearly and she could see his worry lines darken. One of her arms was still covered her stomach while the other clung to Harvey's upper arm. She could sense that she was going to ask her for the thousand's time whether or not she was okay, so she just preempted, "Harvey, I'm fine." She would say it again, for his benefit, regardless of how much her head pounded and her abdomen pressured her body to yield.

The elevator dinged and they walked in, Harvey's suite was at the very top, overseeing Manhattan's beautiful skyline, so the ride takes approximately ten seconds to finish.

For the first ten floors, she felt okay, normal even. At twenty, her headache turned into hundreds of woodpeckers and thousands of drills. But she still smiled back as Harvey took her hand and smiled at her. At thirty, her legs started feeling numb again and her lower back started feeling pressure. Forty – a sharp pain shot down her abdomen as she sank to the ground and moaned in agony. Harvey was dragged down, startled, but before he could react, the floor splattered with red and he became painfully aware that the red was coming from her.

The elevator doors open at forty-eight.