Legalities: Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure.

Idea: This little fiction has a story line, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. This is purely a selfish little piece that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that.

Synopsis: Third part in a trilogy, Dean has defeated the Pandora evil but he has lasting physical limitations as a result of the trials. Sam has graduated from high school and their father will be sending them on a hunt that will bring Dean full circle with where this trilogy started. Through this last hunt Dean will struggle to repair the damage to his body and Sam will struggle to save both of them from a creature that none of them saw coming.

Warnings: This story will contain everything from intense emotional situations, graphic depictions of present and past torture to intense angst. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' and 'Missing the Hunt' first as they will set the scene for this story.

Please Review: Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in...I really appreciate that you guys continue taking the time to let me know what you are thinking about the progression of the story.

WARNING...Mentions of violence and gore throughout, this might bother some people so consider yourself warned...there is quite a lot of ANGST in this story...as a matter of fact...I think all my chapters have a large helping of angst...and some hurt Sam and Dean...so be prepared...don't like...don't read.

Chapter 14

Parting Sucks

Dean was lying in the long uncomfortable hospital bed. He wanted to shift his weight, but the dull ache kept him from moving much. The smell of the antiseptics and the cleaning agents typically used in all hospitals was making him feel a bit nauseated. The light was filtering through the slats on the windows and bathing his room in a soft orange light. His gaze flickered around his empty room and he wondered where everyone was at. It wasn't normal for them to leave him alone when he was injured. At least that was how things used to be. His tongue darted out and he licked his lips. He was thirsty. A part of Dean couldn't remember the last time he'd had a drink of water and yet another part of him wasn't sure he'd keep it down if he drank some anyways.

He could feel the numerous injuries that currently littered his battered body. He was so used to being on this end of battles that he wondered if it should feel weird…it didn't. The pain lancing through his thigh was the worst, but the pull of the stiches in his side was definitely a close second. At least the stutter is gone. He thought in slight amusement. His entire body was scarred beyond belief and he was happy that the damn stutter was gone…sometimes he wondered what was wrong with him.

His eyes panned over to the small rolling table sitting next to his bed, the remote was resting on top of a car magazine. Sammy…he thought with a smile. He reached out and grabbed the small grey remote and flipped on his television. Dean clicked between channels until he found a rerun on VH1 that he wouldn't mind seeing again.

"Hey…" A soft voice pulled him back to the waking world. He wasn't even sure when he'd nodded off. But the call of his younger brother had Dean turning toward a voice that he would know anywhere...

Sam was leaning into his room, a concerned look etched on his young face as he watched Dean. He smiled slightly and slipped inside. Dean cringed when he saw the numerous bandages that covered his brother's body. Sam didn't escape unscathed either. He'd known that at the time, but he hadn't really been in a position where he could really see the damage done to his brother. But as he watched the stilted way that Sam slipped into the room he furrowed his own eyebrows in sympathy.

"Hey yourself. You doing okay, Sam?" His voice was low, but strong.

Sam shook his head and a small smile played at the edges of his lips. "You're never gonna change are you, Dean." It wasn't a question and it had Dean wondering just what exactly Sam thought that he needed to change. He was just fine, thank you very much.

"Probably not." He muttered. Dean watched as Sam raised an eyebrow and snorted as he sank into the chair next to the bed.

"Where's dad?" Sam asked. He reached out and picked at the food that Dean had left untouched on a tray.

Dean's eyes followed the movement and he shrugged his shoulders slightly. The immediate wash of fiery agony in his side had him wishing that he hadn't done that. He hissed as the pain started to recede and he finally looked at Sam. A worried look was etched into his young face as he watched his big brother with concern.

"Bobby and Jim went back to the motel. They were released yesterday. Bobby had a sprained knee and Jim was just bruised up pretty good." Sam was glossing over the severity of their injuries. He wasn't about to give Dean more things to brood on. "Dad got stiches in his leg and was released this morning. Last I saw him, he was here with you."

He knew that Dean would ask, so he might as well get that out of the way now. Sam was pretty sure that his father wouldn't take off without at least saying goodbye to them. That and because of the nature of Dean's poisoning, he wouldn't just leave them until he knew that they were safe.

"Sam…can I ask you something?" Dean said quietly. He hadn't been able to question Sam about it in the field. At his brother's nod he continued. "Are you really leaving?" He hadn't been able to get the thought of Sam leaving out of his head.

Sam's shoulders slumped and his face fell. He'd actually forgotten that those bitches had out-ed him to his brother. Looking at Dean's open face made him feel even worse about this decision. But this last hunt had reinforced the fact that he couldn't do this for the rest of his life. He was scared…no terrified that his brother wouldn't make it out of this life alive. But he couldn't wait for Dean to see the light, he had to take this chance…it might be his only one.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the letter of acceptance from Stanford. He swallowed before handing it to Dean. The green gaze dropped to the dirty white paper and he reached out with his good hand. He focused his eyes on the scrolling letters, informing Sam that he'd been accepted on a full-ride scholarship.

"I wanted to tell you, Dean." Sam said quietly. "I just didn't know how."

Dean's eyes flickered to meet Sam's earnest gaze. "Is this really what you want?" His older brother's voice was soft, understanding layered throughout the normally raspy tones.

Sam nodded. Words wouldn't come as he tried to explain his need to get away from the blood and the violence. He'd never been bound to this life the way Dean had. His brother had known from a young age that this life wasn't something that he could escape. He'd given up his own dreams almost before they'd even been realized inside his own mind. Years of watching Dean had given Sam an insight into the brother he loved that was deeper than most siblings shared.

"Then you should go." There was no malice in his voice. No judgment. No anger….just simple resignation that he and Sam were finally being split. And it wasn't at the hands of some supernatural ass-hat…no…but by the decision of brother. That one person who Dean loved beyond all measure and understanding was finally walking away.

If his brother had sat and thought for weeks what he could say that would break Sam's heart more…he couldn't have come up with anything better. It wasn't that he wanted his brother to yell and try to convince him to stay, but the simple support and what Sam knew it was costing Dean was probably the worst thing he'd ever witnessed.

XXXX

One week later

Dean leaned against the headboard as Sam packed his last bag. He'd been reserved and quiet as his brother had prepared to go off and live another life…one that didn't include him and their father. At least not in the same capacity. Sam's eyes skipped about the room, looking for anything that he might have forgotten.

The television clicked behind him and Sam knew that Dean was changing channels in an attempt to look busy. Dean's eyes swept over the single duffel bag and the backpack that his brother had stacked near the door. The bus ticket sitting on the table in the kitchenette; it was Sam's ticket out of the life and into the coveted Apple-pie life that they'd been denied their entire existence. And as painful as it was to see him go, Dean was okay with it. Their father, however, was not.

John was angry. He and Sam had fought earlier, which was why he was nowhere to be seen as his youngest son gather his meager belongings. Dean had ended up trying to get between them when the argument had escalated. He'd been concerned that either his brother or his father would throw a punch as they'd raged at one another.

Dean had nearly gotten himself knocked out for his troubles. The blow hadn't been aimed at him or at Sam for that matter, but for the door to the left of Sam's shoulder. "If you leave…don't you ever come back!" John had yelled as he'd stomped past his sons and out the door. His fear had gotten the better of him, he was terrified for his boys and he'd let it make him say things that he would normally never utter.

"Got everything?" Dean finally managed. He'd been trying to figure out what to say for the last hour. And that's the best you've got after an hour? He thought to himself. That's pretty sad Winchester.

Sam smiled at his brother. "I think so." He scanned the small motel room again and nodded to himself. "Yeah, I don't see anything else."

"Got your gun?" Dean couldn't help but ask about what he considered to be the necessities. At his brother's nod he went on. "Silver knife?"

Sam's face shifted into a slightly more irritated expression. "Yes, Dean. But I'm not gonna need any of that stuff. I'm going to school. Not to war."

He instantly regretted his rash response when Dean's face fell and he pulled back into himself. Sam rolled his eyes at his own impatience and sank down onto the bed.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I just want to be gone before dad gets back." Okay, so that wasn't any better that shouting at his older brother. He twisted so that he was looking straight at Dean. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm just ready to go." He patted Dean's knee. "Not from you, Dean." A lump formed in his throat as he tried to tell his brother how much he meant to him. How much he loved him.

Dean glanced up and saw the struggle plainly written on Sam's face. "Me too…Sammy. Me too." He muttered.

Dean had insisted on driving Sam to the bus station. His little brother had protested that Dean wasn't well enough to be behind the wheel of a car yet. But he'd over ruled his little brother and limped carefully out to the Impala. In hind sight, he really hadn't been well enough to go anywhere. Dean's vision had faded a couple times and he'd found his mind wandering. What am I gonna do without Sam?

He watched his brother's back as he climbed from the car and Dean found that he was so full of emotion that he was having a hard time controlling it. "Be safe, Sam." He said quietly.

Sam's shaggy head appeared again and he grinned. It was tainted with sadness, but he wanted Dean to know that this really was what he wanted. "I will. You too, Dean." He stood up and then leaned back down again. "Come see me in Palo Alto?"

Dean managed to nod…they both knew that the chances of him actually carrying through on it was slim to none. But it made the brothers feel better as they stared down the barrel of a 'goodbye' that neither of them wanted. "I'll try."

Sam walked around to the driver's side door and pulled it open. He leaned in and wrapped his arms around Dean in a gentle hug. "I'll make you proud Dean." He whispered. "I promise." Sam pulled away and gathered his things as the bus horn sounded in the distance. "I gotta go. Keep in touch." He jogged to the bus and climbed on board. He turned once and waived before disappearing inside of the Greyhound.

"You already make me proud." Dean said softly. He waited until the bus had started and was pulling out of the parking lot. It was several minutes before he could bring himself to start the car and head back to the motel…alone.

XXXX

Epilogue

It would be three long years before Thanatos called on Sam to fulfill his promise. A promise he'd nearly forgotten about. But the call was one that he could not ignore and it was one that he desperately didn't want Dean involved with. He'd managed to keep the God's involvement in Dean's recovery a secret since that say in the hospital and he wanted to keep it that way.

Dean hunted and regained his strength. He wasn't the same man that he'd been before he'd been taken at nineteen years old. He'd grown into a cunning and stealthy hunter, one that generally worked alone and was highly successful. He didn't talk to his brother but a couple of times in the three years that separated them, but he never lost Sam's where-abouts. He'd kept a silent 'eye' on his brother throughout the years.

The End

Author's Note: The introduction of Thanatos has created another storyline that will play out in a whole new story. I would like to know if you guys are interested in seeing another instalment with these characters and these God's. The Keres sisters aren't done yet, the other two have been biding their time and their father is still pissed about the death of one of his children. They've been putting a plan into action…God's have their own time frame after all. Thank you to Tricia and all of you that have read and reviewed and PM'd about this story. I know that the ending leaves you wondering about where the God's are at. It just seemed that this is its own story now…and that's how I want to approach it.

Please Review: Since it's the end, I'd like to know what you thought of the trilogy and if you want the next phase of the journey.