Hello, readers! It's been forever since I've done anything with these stories (at least anywhere public anyway - it's been a bad few years as far as mental health + personal life have gone) so let me say that I come bearing news! I'm doing a rewrite, with help from my friend Fizzy (better known as Fezgician on AO3).

[But you said you were going to do a rewrite before. Like, three or four different times.]

Actually, according to my backlog of Word documents tied to Witt and Witticism in any capacity, the number is closer to twenty (though I'll confess that most of those attempts didn't get past page one). This time, however, I am actually doing that thing called 'planning ahead' instead of doing the 'flow of consciousness reactions' that Witt and Witticism was built around. Seriously, if anyone here has been following my tumblr (same username as here), you've seen like, 10-15% of the planning (mostly art) under the tag 'the big fat one piece fic project'.

Why is it called the Big Fat One Piece Fic Project? Because it's me taking almost every single One Piece fic and OC I ever did or even thought up since I started making that sort of thing around 2009/2010 and lacing it into one universe (admittedly, this is going to end up making for multiple timelines, which accounts for at least part of my suffering).

[You've made that much stuff?]

Yeah. I don't know how many of you have followed me since I started posting here, but if you have, you know that I have, historically at least, had a habit of deleting any fic that I found embarrassing after the fact. If I hadn't, my story count would be easily double of what's on my page currently and there'd be at least two Witt rewrites present (with only one or two chapters present for each, though I'm not sure if Witt actually managed to show up in one because he got pushed back behind other OCs) along with a pre-privacy Brook backstory, a weird thing playing with unpopular filler concepts, and some Yorki/Brook ship fic.

In the course of this year, I have redesigned over twenty pre-existing OCs I've made for the One Piece fandom over the last 10+ years and created a roughly equivalent number of new OCs to fill out the area around them, revamped several island concepts with better research and concepts beyond 'a place with a name and a singular gimmick'.

[Here's another question - why. Just... Why.]

There's a few reasons. One is that I know that I've developed a bit as a writer since the original postings and I wanted to see how that would affect the characters and plots now. Another is that I like One Piece as a setting.

The one that really pushed me to doing this, though, was that, despite all the time that has passed and the premature endings often thrown out without care or left out altogether, my stories - with all their flaws and issues that stand out so plainly to me - are still enjoyed. Witt and Witticism has over a quarter of a million views. I still get reviews on both Witt and Luck of the Draw despite not updating either in years. Witt is still sitting pretty on the first page of most favorited OC fics on FFnet (admittedly at the very bottom) while Luck is halfway down the third.

To me, that's amazing and one hell of a motivator.

[So what's this project look like?]

A mess. Let's be honest - it's a big mess. There are so many documents and like, twelve different folders covering old projects and new information and it's already a mess. That's what happens when you decide you're going to make an everything bagel but instead of a bagel it's a fanfiction made out of older fanfictions, many of which had some weird concepts banging around in the notes and background.

I'm still a ways away from posting any first chapters (I'm aiming for a publishing time around December but we'll see what happens, given that I've been working fairly consistently on this since the beginning of March), but I am comfortable with giving an outline of what I'm working with.

Multiple timelines.

There are two main 'timelines' being juggled in planning right now, with a few 'secondaries' - which would count as multi-chapter fics, but nothing as extensive as the primary ones - and a fair few more tertiary lines, which are closer to One-Shots (while some might turn into Two-shots, they're not likely to get much more thought than that unless I'm ready to descend into a new circle of Hell as previously unexplored by Dante). The two 'main' timelines are the OC Crew Timeline and the Straw Hat Crew Timeline - both are intended to 'begin' roughly three years before Luffy begins on his journey in canon.

The OC Crew Timeline starts in West Blue and features 21 OCs in the crew (eventually) and an 85% original storyline, barring the odd One Piece Movie or Video Game inspired encounter and the eventual 'splicing' into the Canon storyline around Water 7, as the current planning stands.

The Straw Hat Timeline cleaves closer to Canon will follow fairly similar themes to Luck and Witt, as both Witt and my (updated) Self-Insert join the Straw Hat crew under similar circumstances as their original stories (there will be some changes for both the sake of maintained interest and improving the story beats).

A few of the other timelines thus far thought of include 10 Years Back (SI lands in East Blue 10 years pre-Luffy journey and proceeds to fuck up half the tragic backstories available, sometimes just by showing up), Once Upon A Time In Wano (aka, SI reincarnates in Wano during Oden's era as Kanjuro), Barto Club (SI - and possibly Witt - miss the chance to join Luffy's crew and end up in the next best thing as far as fanboyism is concerned), TimeWarp (aka The Rainbow Mist is stupid but sometimes stupid is fun), Battle Convoy Blues (SI lands in West Blue 62 Years ago and gets tangled up in Brook's backstory. Also featuring everyone's favorite blonde cowboy), and Ace Of Spades (SI lands in East Blue 3 years before Luffy starts his journey... and ends up joining up with an Ace that's just setting out).

Original Arcs, Original Locations, Original Characters

I'm not entirely sure of what I'm going to do with the Straw Hat Timeline with regards to breaks from Canon just yet, though I am planning on rolling dice to decide certain facts (hilariously, Sanji still ended up being one of the people to get sick for the Drum Island arc rather than Nami) and making adaptations of a few specials and video games that I haven't planned on or flat out can't use to fill out the storyline of the OC Crew's timeline.

The OC Crew though, they have a lot of ground for to fill in.

Currently, there are six to seven arcs that I have fairly well conceptualized for the OC Crew to suffer through experience. A few are based on older plots that I was able to recycle from some of my older fanfiction, but mostly I've been building them from the ground up, usually to suit the crewmember(s) that appear in said arc or to fit some other story need at the beginning, but getting more detail and inspirations in as I go. The process has been quite fun and interesting to go through, especially since a few OCs and their associated arcs have had a lot of input from a friend of mine, who will be receiving collaborative credit on the story, especially on the arcs that wouldn't have become as interesting as they are without her input.

Also on the subject of the OC Crew, there are 21 OCs present in the crew. They're all listed with art on my tumblr under 'the big fat one piece fic project' tag, but I'll list them all here with their original stories.

+1. My Self-Insert, Raine (thanks Rhee-nony M for your serendipitous typo all those years ago) from Luck of the Draw. Updated to reflect me as I am now, of course. There's more fun to have now that I'm 26 (or 27, if I end up posting at my estimated time).

+2. Mercy D. Witt, y'all know where he's from.

+3. Meryl Dacey, once known as Merle, my original 'Mary Sue' (who was really more sad than anything impressive, but it was wish fulfillment) and first OC for One Piece. I can't specifically recall if her story had a name or if it was even publicly shared, though I'm pretty sure if I shared anything with her in it at all, it was on DeviantArt back in 2010 or so. The original character that had the Sketch-Sketch Fruit (though I did hand it off to a more 'impressive' OC around the same period, Dece has been banished for being boring, apart from a few traits that I gave over to Meryl).

+4. Jeanne (who might have been named something else in the first draft of her story, but only the second one exists anymore) who was inspired by Through A Canine's Eyes, except for the part that I'm a cat person and, at the time I made her, was very much into Alice In Wonderland, so she was incarnated/transformed into a Cheshire Cat instead of the regular ordinary kind. Came into existence roughly around the same time as Merle/Meryl.

+5. Shimon Shelley - again, from the same period as the previous, except it was 2012 and Frankenweenie had served as a major inspiration. My first Doctor, though I pushed him into a more specific 'surgeon' role (admittedly with a few other talents). Originally was intended to be a Thriller Bark OC who was trained by Hogback and primarily interacted with Ryuma, but he also got a snippet that featured him interacting with Yorki and Brook (pre-death) which I guess implied time travel (which partially, but not wholly explains why time travel is a prospect on the list of One-Shot AUs for this fic series). Only really got his story shared on my tumblr.

The Shuffle Pirates - my first attempt at an OC Pirate Crew from March 2015. This name and general flag design - a Side-Facing Skull with a Card between its teeth (with a lot of changes to be more interesting/unique) has managed to survive to cover the new OC crew, admittedly because it tied well with a music theme I'm trying to lace into the story. Some of you might recognize them (and the name Shuffle Odyssey) from one of the short-lived postings I put up over the years. The characters salvaged from that crew include -

+6. Rufino D. Silva (formerly known as Nemo), who was intended to be a sort of Luffy-expy while also being a 'Real World' immigrant to the setting. There was originally an amnesia angle but I dropped that for the sake of the rewrite because it didn't really work for him. Still fairly Luffy-like, but he's managed to stand out as his own character with a little work. One of the only ones who got actual screentime in his first outing, which ended up involving a fair amount of arson.

+7. Yelena (formerly known as Whitney Wallace, though this had to change because of Witt being too close name-wise) was the Shuffle Pirates doctor and elegant swordswoman. The other character who managed to get screen time in that fic. Her design has changed pretty dramatically and she honestly belongs more to my collaborator than me at this point.

+8. Bentley (formerly known as Mercedes Alvel, because of the same reasons as Yelena) was originally intended as a de-aged outside-context character, but has since been rewritten as an in-universe child genius. Her arc is currently the largest and most complex of the ones so far written, in no small part thanks to my wonderful collaborator.

+9. Mako (no name change) - a Mako Shark Fishman-human hybrid who got changed to a Mako Shark Merman-human hybrid because I thought it made his story more interesting by giving him an ability to 'pass' as human while his brother (who will appear lower on the list) didn't have that luxury. Plus mermaids are faster swimmers than fishmen and I figured that I would min-max for ultimate speedy boy.

The other OC Pirate Crew - from August of the same year that the Shuffle Pirates were made. Generally better developed and thought out on an individual basis, but then I forgot to actually give them reasons to become pirates in the first place (oops). The crew never actually got a name or flag design.

+10. Vache (named and visually themed after Vash the Stampede, at first) was made as Luffy's platonic opposite number, as opposed to Rufino's mirror. A swordsman chef who was more speed and precision than strength and durability, he was mentored by Issho (who, while maybe not a Marine in that fic at that time, still was a servant of Justice, pretty much the opposite of getting inspired by a pirate that's going to end up an Emperor) and had a similar blade - though Vache's shikomizue was hidden in an oil paper umbrella instead of being disguised as a cane. Most of his changes were... making another one of his influences Sonic the Hedgehog (because I had too many blondes on the team and he ended up with dark blue hair, which made his spikes look funny until I frosted the tips blonde and made them hilarious).

+11. Nuada (mythological name chosen for being very thematically appropriate) was the navigator - inspired by Nami's cyborg concept art, though Nuada had her robot arm full of navigational equipment. She was something of a Nami expy to some degree with her career as a thief and natural navigational skills, but was also designed to be very different as well - which only increased with her redesign, given that I made her a Salmon Mermaid-hybrid and increased her muscle mass dramatically while also removing a lot of her excess clothes. No point in wearing leggings when you're in the water all the time.

+12. Wydah (originally Reijin Wyda, but then I decided to split Reijin into another character), the Chain-Catshark Fishwoman shipwright. Mostly just made because I was in a mood for unconventional beauties. Upgraded her to two different flavors of 'built like a brick shithouse' with her redesign. Not sure that her 'Zora' headshape is supported in One Piece canon, but it wouldn't be the weirdest shit ever seen in the fandom so I'm allowed.

+13. Avery Springbuck, my first Zoan and Marine character (admittedly, she does ditch the Marines fairly quick). A Springbok/Antelope Zoan, she's another example of a character I designed with high speed and mobility in mind. She's also fun because she originally started out as a male Harry Potter OC who was an Animagus, but she's infinitely more interesting where she is now.

+14. Malorhaye Shani (formerly just Shani). Sniper and anxiety made flesh after her very fucked up introductory story (which involved a round of the Most Dangerous Game and a man-eating tiger that turned out to be a Tiger Zoan. Springbuck was there too. Made her a lot chubbier in her redesign and gave her a fun cousin that looks like Guy Fieri (further down).

+15. Orsin (formerly a shitload of names that never felt right because he's a squirrely one) was a spy and gun-man with ties to both the Revolutionaries and the historians of Ohara. Very serious cowboy atmosphere despite the presence of leopard print in his design.

+16. Cid (aka Caramuru) a Shandian swordsman/blacksmith character with backstory ties to Fisher Tiger - admittedly at a fair distance, because their one encounter was during the burning of Mariejois. Still, Cid was freed from slavery by the man, which tends to leave an impression. A little bit of a Zoro expy but I never really leaned hard on that writing angle.

And then the rest

+17. Fintan Terzi is harder to explain, as he actually was the result of smooshing two different (but similar enough) characters from the two failed OC crews into one much more useful and well-rounded one. Ynis Whitrun (who was in turn an adaptation of the Storm Petrel character who showed up and was then never explained in Witt and Witticism) was a cosplaying swordsman from our world while Rae X. Quilemin was a tailor/barber/doctor who was also a swordsman but a completely different kind. Neither was very interesting on their own but Terzi's a lot more interesting. Naturally, he has many of their skills (though Terzi has real-world nurse training instead of a One Piece doctor's education).

+18. Liten was just a combination of a few one-off Fishman designs I'd done over the years, one of which looked blatantly anxious so that became a cornerstone of his personality. He's a Blue Shark Fishman-human hybrid and all of like, ten years old. This doesn't stop him from being very strong (ridiculously so) and preferring to hide behind his brother Mako when trouble comes knocking.

+19. Malorhaye Anzu (formerly just Anzu). Another one-off design and the singular note that he was an alcohol distiller. Became Shani's cousin after I realized their shared trait of red hair and her island culture having a fair amount of alcohol brewing in the background made him a natural fit there. Then I realized that his personality demanded flame patterns on his clothes and he turned into a ginger Guy Fieri.

+20. Saberhagen is a Cat Mink - a nearly hairless one too, which means he has trouble with Electro. Not that stops him from zapping people - he's a gadgeteer extraordinaire, just like his brother Lindbergh - and just like Lind, Saberhagen is also a member of the Revolutionary Army. Quite a graduation for a character who used to be a one-off like Anzu - which only makes sense, given that I made Saberhagen in 2015 and Lindberg made his first appearance in 2018.

Aaaand -

+21. Reijin, the Mandarin Dragonet Merman. The only OC out of the set that came out of absolute nowhere for this project, mostly because the logic of the high population of Fishman and Fishman/Mermaid hybrids on the crew meant that specialized care would probably be a smart thing to do. Very fun to design, visually and in terms of personality.

This of course, doesn't cover the OCs not in the immediate crew (or any canon characters that may join, because I'm still figuring out who's on the table for that, even though it's a fairly short list) nor any of the villains they'll face, but it's a good taste of what you'll be getting eventually.