(*Author's Note* This story is rated M for fictional violence, historical content which may be difficult to read for some, hard yaoi /boy on boy/, Rape, and later on, gorey murder. There will be a few beatings, war scenes, Stockholm Syndrome, and possible anorexia and starvation scenes. Read at your own will, leave me comments and ratings, I hope you enjoy my story and PLEASE tell me if I need to elaborate more. Please Rate and Review! Thank you!)

October 4th, 1940

One year. That's how long he had been here now. After the events of that day, he had been confined to the basement once again, only allowed to leave the dark space when Eric was home to let him out. No more chores, no more privileges, no more freedom. Eight months alone in that basement. He was convinced it was to protect him, to keep him safe and away from the world. Given his kidnapping and all other events involving anyone other than Cartman, Kyle had chosen to believe this. He was being taught to fear the outside, to confide in no one other than his captor, which was what the Nazi had wanted from the very beginning. No longer did he have thoughts of escape or wishes to see his family, he had lost such hope. Now it was about survival, about keeping himself sane in his isolation. This was becoming easier, as his counterpart rarely inflicted any physical pain on him. The distance was the problem, however, as the soldier never seemed to be around anymore. This could have been on account of his mental state, for perhaps being alone for so long was affecting his ability to perceive the passing of time. It was this room, he was sure of it. It was distorting his mind.

The redhead sat on the floor, slowly and gently twirling a piece of his curly hair in between his fingers. He couldn't recall the last time he had cut it and, based on the fact his bangs now touched his eyelids, he believed he needed to do something about it. There had always been a cabinet in the corner of the room, but nothing he believed he had access to. Even still, there were likely some sort of sheers in there, the room was intended for torture after all. He debated his options and determined he had nothing to lose, pushing himself onto his feet and heading over towards the closet, tracing his fingers over the door curiously before attempting to open it. Nothing. It was locked, but it wasn't apparent how it was locked. There didn't appear to be a keyhole and certainly no padlock, so there must have been another secret to it. He examined the door a moment longer before determining there was no way to get into it, turning around to find his Nazi standing at the top of the basement stairway. Oh. . .

"Why are you over there?" Eric asked as he began his descent into the dark room. His voice and exterior were calm, unlike how he would usually be if he saw the boy sneaking around. The Jew lowered his head a bit, playing with the fabric of his oversized shirt.

"My hair is getting ridiculous. . ." He grimaced, looking up at the Nazi who now towered over him. He felt almost guilty for looking around, but knew he shouldn't. What else was he supposed to do down here? Cartman smirked slightly, snaking one of his arms around the ginger's waist while the other gently rested on the boy's cheek, his leather glove cold and smooth against his pale skin.

"Your hair is beautiful. . ." The brunette said softly, trailing his hand into Kyle's red locks. The boy leaned into his touch, maintaining eye contact as he pressed closer into the warm embrace. He longed for physical touch in this way. . . When Eric tried he provided it well, he could be so gentle. ". . .but that doesn't explain why you were over here. . ."

"I wanted to cut it, I thought you might have kept some scissors in there." He admitted, looking at his hands which were now resting on the lower part of the soldier's chest. There was no reason to lie if he was innocent, he had to maintain a level of trust. He had spent so long rebuilding it after all. . . His response made Cartman chuckle a bit, moving the hand that was in the boy's hair down to lift his chin gently. He was so small.

"Well you wouldn't have found those in there. I can cut it for you, if you really want that." He offered, analyzing the redhead's demeanor. He seemed upset, but the soldier couldn't figure out why. He hadn't done anything wrong, so what could he be thinking about? "But that's not what's bothering you, right?" He tried, searching his eyes. He was never good with emotions- having them, recognizing them, or helping with them- but he was going to try. He noticed Kyle hesitating to speak up, grimacing slightly in response and grabbing the boy's hands. "Tell me." Maybe the wrong way to encourage him, but an effort nonetheless.

". . . It's just. . ." The Jew began quietly, redirecting his eye contact towards the staircase. He just wanted to get out of this room. . . "Can we go upstairs now. . ?" Eric raised an eyebrow at the question, looking back at the stairs before back to his counterpart.

"That's what's bothering you?" He asked, his expression betraying him and portraying partial amusement. "Really?" The ginger did not seem as amused, looking flustered and pulling his hands away to crossing his arms.

"I just don't understand why I have to be here still-" He sounded mildly aggravated, avoiding eye contact as he continued to speak. "- Avon is. . . gone. . . Kenny is in Germany, and I don't know anyone other than that, so where's the danger?" He confronted the soldier, who sighed and pinched the bridge of his own nose.

"There could always be danger. Just because we don't know it's there doesn't mean it doesn't exist." The Nazi retaliated, displeased with the question. It should be obvious at this point, nothing about their situation was secure. "I'm doing this to protect you, to keep you safe."

"With that logic you should just kill me, because if living safely means staying down here all day, I don't want to do it." Kyle snapped and looked at his captor, his eyes shining with resentment and sadness. Genuine shock overwhelmed Cartman's expression for a moment, quickly being replaced by anger.

"You're fucking stupid, don't say shit like that." Eric growled, clenching his fists tightly to prevent himself from striking his lover. "Living safely down here is better than living in fear up there, and is definitely better than not living at all." There was silence for a moment, then only the sound of a small whimper from the Jew. As the soldier looked back at him he noticed he was crying, his fists unclenching and his expression softening slightly. Before he could say anything, the redhead wiped his eyes with his right hand, his lower lip quivering as he spoke.

"This isn't living, Eric. . ." His voice was soft and the words chilling for the Nazi to hear. To hear him say his name like that. . . He was conflicted on whether to be angry at the boy for his ungratefulness or to be sad for him. Sadness would require empathy, something the brunette severely lacked. "I sit down here, alone in this darkness, and I wonder what is left out there. . ." He continued, staring at the engraving on the hand he had wiped his tears with. "Is there a world for me to return to, is there anything more to my life than just. . . this. . ?" His voice became quieter, tears forming in his eyes once again. "Have you even thought about what happens when your side wins?"

The question stumped the soldier, who began considering the possibilities. If they won, which was likely, the orders would remain to cleanse the world of all those who were racially impure. So, technically, he would either have to hide Kyle for the rest of his life, or kill him. He didn't like that reality, he didn't like any reality he didn't have control over. He left his thoughts as he noticed the Jewish boy staring at him. Apparently his expression had given away his understanding of the situation. He refused to acknowledge what was being said and, to prevent the conversation from advancing, picked his captive up and headed towards the stairs. He was not going to discuss things like this, it wasn't necessary and it generally pissed him off. He climbed the stairs with the boy in his arms, tensing slightly as the ginger buried his face in his chest. His heart was too weak for him. He took him into the living room, sat him on the couch and kneeled down in front of him, staring into his teary eyes.

"I don't want to hear any more of this shit. . ." Cartman sounded angry, but his expression showed his sadness. ". . .You're not allowed to die, I've told you I can't let that happen." He cupped the boy's cheek in his hand, grabbing Kyle's left hand with his free one and searching his eyes intently.

He was caught off guard as the boy pulled him into a deep and passionate kiss, tears rolling down his pale cheeks. It took him a moment to process what was happening, but when he did, he closed his golden eyes, matching the boy's passion as he kissed him back. This continued for a minute or so until the Nazi could feel the ginger's lips trembling ever so slightly against his own, small whimpers escaping him as he drew in shaky breaths through his nose. For this reason he begrudgingly pulled away, watching his lover deteriorate in front of him.

The Jew was a mess. With the loss of contact his sobs became uncontrollable, his body trembling and his face consumed by his tears. He couldn't control his sorrow any longer, it felt like months of suppressed emotions were flooding out of him all at once. The soldier had no idea what to do. He had never seen the redhead like this, or anyone for that matter. This was new territory and it was freaking him out. He knew he couldn't yell or hit him to make him stop, it would make it worse. For once, he wanted to avoid making it worse. Putting him in isolation to calm down wasn't a good idea either, being alone is what made him like this in the first place. He took a deep breath and gently pulled the boy onto the floor with him, placing him in his lap and wrapping his large arms around him in an attempt to provide comfort. He kissed the top of Kyle's head, closing his eyes and listening to his soft cries. He was incredibly impatient with things of this nature, but he had allowed himself to love him. . . When there was no conflict of interest, he couldn't help but want to make things okay.

"Tell me what to do. . ." He whispered softly, taking his gloves off behind the boy's back before placing a hand in his curly hair. He pulled back slightly to look at him, trailing his hand down to his cheek and gently wiping his tears with his thumb. "I don't know how to help you." He continued, his voice and touch gentle. He noticed a physical calming in the boy as he said this, his cries becoming silent though tears continued to stream down his flush cheeks. Perhaps he should try to be softer with him more often, it seemed to be effective. He sensed a hesitation in the redhead, but allowed the silence to continue until the Jew was ready to speak. He didn't want to rile him up again.

After a moment, the ginger took in a soft inhale and closed his eyes, leaning into Eric's calloused hands. He knew what he wanted to ask for, but did he have the courage to express it verbally? How would the Nazi react, would he just be locked up again? He balanced the pros and cons to himself before deciding to vocalize what was on his mind. His voice was soft, almost inaudible, but the soldier heard him louder than he ever had before.

"...Run away with me…"

His emerald eyes were now open, shining and piercing into Cartman's golden ones with a childlike desperation. He could sense the mixed emotions and shock the other was experiencing, uncertain of if he should be afraid of the reaction to come or not. He waited and searched his eyes hopefully, begging him for validation.

"We could go somewhere far away- just the two of us- where no one else could find us." He pleaded, placing a hand on Eric's face. The Nazi averted his eyes, apparently containing his frustration, but this wasn't satisfying for the ginger boy. "Your men trust you, you can claim you were transferred somewhere else, or that you've been given holiday, or anything el-"

"Stop, Kyle." The soldier closed his eyes, inhaling to stop himself from lashing out. Tears began flowing more heavily down the boy's face again, his lower lip trembling.

"Please, please Eric-" he began to beg, trying to get the Nazi to look at him again. "There has to be somewhere, there has to-"

"Even if there was, you don't think they'd find us?" The brunette snapped, grabbing the wrist of the hand that was touching his face. "What do you think happens then? You think we can just come back here and pretend we didn't run away? You think they'll give me a little slap on the wrist and act like we- I, didn't desert my post?" His eyes were like daggers, piercing unremorsefully into the boy's fragile soul. "It can't happen, it won't happen, and I don't want to hear anymore about it." He could see the Jew's thoughts and looked at him sternly, searching his beautiful, teary eyes. "Am I clear?" The redhead turned his face away, glancing down at his lap and allowing the tears to roll down his cheeks.

"Why can't we just try…?" He was pushing it, but he couldn't help himself. His life was misery and he wanted to escape. He looked back up at Eric with his eyes, leaving his head lowered. "We could have so much more than this… we could have a fresh start, we could be anyone we wanted… we don't have to be the way we are now."

"And what is the way we are now?" Cartman snarled, lifting the Jewish boy off of his lap and placing him on the couch next to him. He leaned forward so that his elbows were propped against his knees, grimacing and rubbing his face in frustration with one hand. He looked at Kyle through the corner of his eye and allowed a sigh to escape his nose. After a moment he shook his head and stood up. "I said I don't want to hear about it and I meant that." He turned to look at him, hating how soft he felt. He was losing his patience however, and if he was provoked any further he wouldn't be able to hold back. "You've had your warning and I've been feeling generous-" He began, grabbing his gloves and pulling them back onto his large hands. "-If you feel like testing me, that's your decision-" He turned away from him and began heading towards the stairs. "-But I'm certain you're not fucking stupid enough to forget the consequences."

Kyle looked devastated, the soldier's response feeling like a giant slap in the face. He had been alone for so long now, there was no one in this world left for him except for Eric. The only consistency he had in over a year was with the brunette, who every day decided his fate for him. He was his only source of love, happiness, hope. . . It was at this time he began to realize once again that this reality had been fabricated for him by his captor, a man he had grown to cherish his time with, the perpetrator of everything he had encountered thus far. No, he didn't plan the occurrences with Kenny, Avon, or anyone else, but he may as well have. It all came down to that one night. The night he killed his best friend, stole his family, took him. . . here. . . How could he have allowed himself to repress these feelings? The rage, the hatred, the sorrow- all reserved in his heart for Eric Cartman. The Jew festered in these feelings as the silence around him continued, his blood boiling. How could he have allowed himself to become so weak? He did everything he asked; avoided confrontation to avoid pain, loved him as if he deserved it, and the one time he wanted something of his own, he was being shot down for the reason of "it's too difficult." The worst part: the soldier would never change. This was his breaking point, enough was enough. No longer would he be afraid, as there was nothing to him in this world worse than what he was feeling right now. He had a new purpose: to get the fuck out of here or die trying. He gathered his composure, even if it was falsified, stood and walked towards the Nazi.

"If you don't mind, I'd like you to cut my hair now."

(***Author's Note*** Well my friends this is long overdue. I hope you are staying safe during these times and moving forward I will do my absolute best to ensure I update the story. We are almost to the end and I have a few ideas of what I want to happen, but we'll just have to see ;). Also, to let you know, my next Kyman story will be an Egypt AU! Hopefully I don't take 7 years to write that one like I have for this one (I'M SO SORRY). Anyways, keep an eye out for the remaining chapters. I'm thinking I will stop at around 35-40 maximum. There will be a lot of time skips, as the meat of the drama is now going to be centered around their relationship. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and as always, please Review and Follow/Favorite the story! ~ohmygodtheykilledme )