A is for Alcohol

Darcy Lewis stalked through SHIELD headquarters muttering under her breath. Even the sight of baby agents scurrying out of her way could not make her smile – though it was nice to know she could inspire such reactions. Right now, though, her mind was firmly fixed on giving her boss hell.

She was not a babysitter.

Her stride hitched slightly.

Okay, yes, she was a babysitter considering her main job consisted of herding a pack of half-crazy, half-clueless, all brilliant scientists through daily life necessities such as eating and sleeping. Her part time job – doing the same for adrenaline hyped heroes – only added support to the argument.

But! That did not mean she needed yet another "kid" to keep!

Coulson had called her less than an hour ago. "I need you to come pick up a new agent. He'll be on probation with the Avengers."

"You have got to be kidding," she replied, dodging a Nerf arrow. "The asylum is full up."

"Make room." He hung up.

Now she barreled into his office, noting but ignoring the additional person. Since it wasn't Hill or Fury, she wasn't interrupting anything more major than a dressing down and it could wait. She didn't stop until she reached his desk. "Are you kidding?"

"Miss Lewis," Coulson started.

"No." Darcy spoke with a fierce intensity. "I've got three scientist to manage, one of whom is Tony-frickin'-Stark. I've got the alter ego of one of those afore mentioned scientists who only listens to three people on the planet when he's pissed off. I've got two master assassins who evade medical better than they do enemy weapons. I've got a god of thunder who shocks the neighbors and a misplaced super soldier who gets shocked by the neighbors. I've got an AI to keep out of SHIELD's hair and a fire-retardant spraying robot with the attitude of a puppy running around." She threw up her hands. "None of that counts the equally insane allies and friends of the bunch as well as the psychotic enemies they each seem to pick up as easy as breathing." She put her hands on the desk and leaned forward. "Needless to say, and no offense intended, but I do not have room for another inmate. My ward is full."

Coulson waited for a beat. "Are you finished?" She rolled her eyes. His eyebrow twitched. "Good." He gestured with his chin. "Miss Lewis, meet your newest patient."

Darcy growled at him, but turned to glance behind her.

"Oh my God."

Spinning fully around, she stared at the man slouched in the chair giving her a suspicious once over.

Standard SHIELD uniform topped with short brown hair, ice blue eyes, pale skin, and a metallic left hand.

Darcy shifted to the side and collapsed more than sat in the chair beside Coulson's desk. She blinked and turned to face her boss once more.

"Alcohol, boss," she said emphatically. "If I have to tell the others about this, you better be prepared to shell out for a lot of alcohol."