Once upon a time in a land called LA, there was a man. He had only one wish. So one he decided to accomplish it.

"Excuse me," he said. "My name is Simon Blackquill." The man he was talking to looked up.

"So you have a crime to report?" he said.

"No," Simon said. "I just wanted to know if I could live here?" The guard stared at him.

"Look sir," he said. "This is not a hotel."

"I know that," Simon said rather gleefully.

"Did you murder someone?" the guard asked. Simon looked down.

"No," he said sadly.

"Then no you may not live here," the guard said. Simon left rather disappointedly.

Two minutes later the guard looked up. Simon was back at he desk.

"How 'bout now!?" he said looking so innocent.

"I'm going to ask one more time," the guard said. "Did you kill someone?"

"Yes," Simon said sweetly. The guard stared at him.

"Ok," he said. "And who did you kill?"

"Mr. Ant!" Simon said. The guard just stared at him.

"AH MR. ANT!" Someone screamed. "YOU"RE DEAD!" The guard shot up at Simon who smiled so childishly.

"Ok," The guard said. "Just go to the prison."

"Thank you," Simon said skipping to the prison.

And he lived happily ever after.

AN: I've been writing too much morbid stuff so I decided to have a laugh with this. Hope you enjoyed. (I couldn't get that scene out of my head!)