The Ties that Bind
Levi sat on a grassy hill, overlooking a creek as it rushed over and around the rocks. He picked up stone after stone and skipped it across the rushing water. The sound and peacefulness usually brought him a measure of peace. But today, it brought him anything but peace. The silence reminded him of how alone he really was, and the creek seemed too much like the tears of families torn apart. Just like his was.
Eld. Auruo. Gunther.
Petra.
Contrary to popular belief, the corporal wasn't a heartless and emotionless killing machine. He cared for his team, and to see them broken and cast aside by that female titan crushed his soul. But of course he was supposed to be a strong commander, never showing signs of weakness. But there was little more he wanted to do than to break down and sob. Levi reached for another stone.
Plop. Plop. Plop.
He lay back. When he closed his eyes, he could see the blood smeared against the trees, and blood pooling on the ground beneath her broken body. He felt the edges of his eyes begin to moisten. As he lay there, he let the tears come. He didn't care who saw him or who didn't. The world be damned if a commanding officer wasn't allowed to grieve once in a while.
He remembered everything. And nearly everything reminded him of her and the rest squad. This entire place reminded him of them. The faint scent of honeysuckle borne on the wind. The birds chirping away in the pale green forest surrounding the castle. The rush and trickled of the small creek he was sitting by.
He slowly raised himself to his feet and trudged back to the castle. He opened the door to the dining hall. The candles flickered sadly, casting long shadows on the walls. This had been the scene of many arguments and laughs. Levi bowed his head. He couldn't escape the ghosts no matter how hard he tried.
He remembered everything. Auruo loudly proclaiming his skill. Petra scoffing at his obvious attempts to mimic him. Gunther smiling wryly at the scene. Eld calmly sipping his drink.
He left the dining hall and went into his room. He stepped outside on the balcony. As he looked over at the next room over, he remembered Petra. After her first mission, Petra was frightened to death. Levi held her in his arms on that balcony and did his best to soothe her.
Petra. The very name brought back bittersweet memories. An unspoken love and a bond deeper than the sea.
Levi walked past Petra's room and rested a hand on the doorknob leading into his room. He heard strange sounds coming from her room. He heard rushing water and whimpering. Deciding against resting, he opened the door to find Petra furiously scrubbing her hands in a sink. Levi rushed over and grabbed her hands, which were red and raw from the abuse it endured.
"Stop. Your hands are going to fall off at that rate. And I cannot have a handless soldier in my squad."
Petra continued to whimper, tears trickling down her face.
Needless to say, Levi was concerned. He looked over in the sink, as the red water continued to flow down the drain.
He remembered as she held her comrade's hands as they bled to death, and as the blood of Titans splashed against her sleeves as she sliced through their necks.
He cursed himself for not checking on her sooner.
He slowly pulled Petra into a hug, and heaved a sigh of relief as her sobs lessened and became nothing. They stayed like that for a little while longer.
Suddenly Petra lifted her head and wiped at her eyes.
"I-I'm sorry, Corporal. I didn't mea-"
She was silenced by an upturned palm as Levi stood up. "It is natural to grieve, as it is natural to feel fear."
Petra nodded, slightly sniffling. "I understand, Corporal."
Levi nodded and turned to leave. "I am glad that you do. But there is another thing."
Petra looked up. "What is that?"
The stoic man gave the petite woman one of his rare smiles. "Call me Levi."
Levi stood on his balcony for the longest time. As he stood there, tears dripped down his face and he clutched the railing so hard his knuckles turned white.
"God damn… Petra…"
How he wished to hold her in his arms. How he wished he could have said what was weighing on his heart for all that time. He wished he could tell her that-
He loved her.
Levi howled his anguish to the clouds and as his breath abandoned him, he dropped his head into his hands.
"I'm sorry Petra. I'm so sorry. I failed you. I failed them all." He sobbed.
Then he felt a gust of wind encircle him in its warm embrace. It was a spring wind, bearing a promise of brighter and happier times to come. Levi sobbed quietly. In that wind he could feel her presence. He could almost imagine her circling her arms around him as she so often did when he felt ready to crack from the enormous amounts of pressure.
His sobs quieted down as the wind continued to blow. He felt Auruo's slightly arrogant presence. He felt Gunther's calculating demeanor. He felt Eld's steadfastness. But most of all, he felt Petra's warm embrace and kind smile.
He stood up straight, the wind mussing his hair and making his cloak flap. But to be honest he could care less that his hair was in disarray. He could care less that his face was streaked with tearstains. All that mattered now was saving the rest of humanity. His team gave their lives for their cause and he would not let them die in vain.
Levi looked forward with new steel in his eyes. He would ensure humanity's absolute victory. For Auruo. For Gunther. For Eld.
For Petra.
His heart still reached out to her and he knew that wherever she was, his heart would be too.
They were not bound by mere friendship, or simple camaraderie. They were bound by a love deeper than the sea itself. And those were the ties that bind.
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