Mister Ed and the Blessed Events

The Posts are expecting an addition to their family. But how will Mister Ed feel now that he has to pay second fiddle to a new baby? Inspired by the episode "The Blessed Event."

This story has Roger and Kay Addison as the Posts' neighbours.

Wilbur Post at Work

Wilbur Post was working in his neat red barn with the white trim. Of course, he wasn't doing any farming, he was an architect who had his office in the small building. His best friend lived in the other part of the barn. His best friend - the world's one and only talking horse, Mister Ed.

"Wil-burr" said Mister Ed, pushing open the top of the stall door, and turning his head towards the only man in the world to whom he would speak. "Can you give me some more carrots. I'm hungry."

"You have plenty of hay in your stall," said Wilbur, who was busy at his desk.

"I don't want any hay," sulked Mister Ed. "Carrots and apples are so much crispier and juicier. The least you can do is give me some nice orange carrots, since you've banned me from the apple tree next door."

Mister Ed was very smart, usually kind-hearted, but sometimes very childish and spoiled.

"Hay is the best thing for a horse," Wilbur responded, still working on the blueprint in front of him. "But I suppose some carrots aren't going to hurt you. Just wait until I'm finished."

"Wait until your finished?" Mister Ed complained. "Isn't your best buddy a higher priority than that plan you're working on? You told me yourself it isn't very important?"

"No, I told you it wasn't very big. I treat all my work as important," said Wilbur conscientiously. "The Floods' . . . .

"That's a funny name," snickered Ed.

"The Floods," continued Wilbur, "have a new child and are adding a room to their home."

"Let's hope they didn't name the tyke Elmer," said Mister Ed.

"No," said Wilbur, smiling. "They named her Florence."

"That's a nice name," commented Mister Ed. "But for a human not a horse."

"Well" said Wilbur. "Someday when you meet the right filly and get married, you'll be able to name your colts whatever you want. Meanwhile, I've finished the plans for the new room, so I can give you your carrots."

Wilbur removed a key from his pocket.

"That was a dirty trick," Mister Ed commented, "locking them in your desk and hiding the key in the house,"

"If I hadn't," said Wilbur, "you would've eaten them all up again, and I would have had to have gone to the store for more.

Wilbur unlocked his desk and removed the carrots, before feeding them to Mister Ed.

"These are delicious," said Ed through a mouthful of crunchy carrot.

"Don't speak with your mouthful, Ed," said Wilbur. "These are the best carrots they had at the store. Some new variety, pretty expensive too."

"I don't know what you're doing talking to that old plug," snapped a older man, who had just entered the room as Wilbur finished speaking. "The stupid beast can't understand a word you say.

The newcomer was a rather stodgy looking man sporting a mustache and a particularly grumpy expression. He was Wilbur's best (human) friend and neighbour. Known as Roger to the Posts when addressed in person, he was usually referred to as Addison (his last name) at all other times.

Oddly enough, Roger was known as "Addison" to most everyone else (in person or not), including his own wife.

Mister Ed snorted, retreated back into his stall, and pulled the door shut behind him. Mister Ed didn't like Addison. He often referred to him as old brush face.

"You shouldn't have done that," said Wilbur. "You've hurt Mister Ed's feelings."

"Nonsense," sneered Addison. "Why you baby that fat clown I'll never know. Anyway, right now I've got far bigger problems."

"Why, what's the matter?" asked Wilbur.

"Today, it has been my misfortune to drive Kay into town today to pay a visit to our doctor and her usurious hairdresser."

"Why didn't you just lend her the car?"

"It was a new plan of mine. If I drive Kay into town and arrange to drive her home once again she can't run around visiting the department stores and spending me into impecuniousness. Even if she were to make the attempt, I'll be there to pick her up, waylay her, and return her wasteful purchases."

"That's clever," admitted Wilbur. "But I couldn't scheme like that against Carol."

"What scheming?" said Addison. "Besides, your Carol doesn't spend money like my Kay. Anyway, it doesn't really matter. My plan backfired."

"What happened?" said Wilbur.

"I failed to provide for one little detail. Taxicabs."

"Taxicabs?"

"Kay doublecrossed me. She summoned a taxicab to take her home. She telephoned me saying she had a taxi full of bargains she bought, and claimed I'd be delighted! She hung up before I could even protest! I don't know how much more of this my wallet can take!"

Mister Ed snickered from his location behind the stall door, where he had been carefully eavesdropping.

"What was that?" asked Addison.

"Nothing," said Wilbur quickly. "What do you want me to do? I don't want to be involved in a fight between you and Kay."

"I don't want much. When I give the word, help me take those infernal packages back to the store. I'm not as young as I used to be."

Mopping his brow with his fine silk handkerchief, Addison left the barn.

Mister Ed opened his stall door and laughed.

"Ol' brush face is quite a cheapskate."

"He is tight, isn't he?" Wilbur admitted. "But don't call him ol' brush face. Addison's a good man and a fine friend."

"I'll stop calling him names when he stops calling me an old plug" Mister Ed replied.

"Poor Roger," said Wilbur, ignoring Mister Ed and rolling up his plans. "Kay's a good friend, but the smallest sale and Roger's bank balance takes the dive. Lucky for me, I don't have to worry about my Carol. She'd never spend so much money behind my back."

"That's because it's so easy to get money from you up front," replied Mister Ed, turning to eat the hay he had so recently dismissed. "Face it Wilbur, when Carol calls, you go a-running."

"No I don't!" said Wilbur indignantly.

Just then the telephone rang.

"I'll get it," said Mister Ed.

"No, it's okay," said Wilbur.

It was Carol.

"Hello, Wilbur?"

"Hi Carol, who'd you expect, Mister Ed?" laughed Wilbur, looking at the horse.

Mister Ed snorted.

"Oh Wilbur, this is no time for jokes," laughed Carol.

"Are you still in the house?"

"Yes, I'd like you to come in for a moment. It's important."

"I'll be there in a couple minutes," said Wilbur.

The two said their goodbyes and hung up.

"It's Carol," Wilbur explained to Mister Ed.

"I would have never guessed," the horse responded.

"I wonder what the matter is," said Wilbur as he exited the barn without remembering to say goodbye. "She hardly ever calls me from the house."

"Hmph," Mister Ed said to himself. "Just like I told him, when Carol calls he goes a-running . . . But I suppose that's the way it should be."

Mister Ed thought for a moment.

"Come to think of it, it is strange for Carol to call him from the house . . . I think I'll mosey over to the window and try to find out what's up."