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Coleen Morisette
District Four Female, 18 Years Old
Victor.
"May I present to you the victor of the Thirtieth Annual Hunger Games – Coleen Morisette of District Four!"
Slinging my arm to the side, the trident glides along the ground, trailing behind me. I walk in circles around Cassioepia's and Alecto's bodies aimlessly, my eyes stuck on the gruesome image.
Alecto's sporadic slits, the way her eye is carved out. The way Cassiopeia tore apart her skin, giving her no mercy or having any reservations about what she's doing. She just killed… brutally, and she tried to do the same to me.
But, I didn't let her. I couldn't let her do that to me.
I'm worth much more than that.
There's a sharp pain in my pain, and I throw my head back, only a muffled whimper being emitted. Stopping in my tracks, I begin to lose my vision, my mind drifting off. The trident falls to the ground, and soon, I topple over too, my breaths becoming short and heavy. I try to move my arm and my leg, but I physically can't, and as I try to look down at my body, everything becomes all blurred.
Turning to the side, I see the hovercraft in the air, the sight of a platform to scoop me up coming closer making me shake. The claws of the platform come closer to me, and I try to squirm out of the grasp of them, the cold metal making every pain in my body even worse.
As I lay on the platform, I let my body sprawl out, the pain becoming unbearable. I don't squirm anymore, I just let it rush through my body, and my eyes close as the pain begins to fade away.
Is this what it feels like to die?
"Miss Morisette?" A calm voice asks, the sincerity of it making it seem surreal.
I haven't heard someone speak to me like that in a while. I groan a little bit, my body finally waking up, but I don't feel anything. It's all tranquil, and from what I remember, this isn't how I left the arena. I left the arena in pain – excruciating pain. It was all from Cassiopeia… she hurt me.
Where did the pain go?
"Miss Morisette," the voice says again, and as I go to lean up, I feel someone place their hands on my shoulders. "Please, stay where you are, Miss Morisette."
"Where… Where am I?" I blurt out, my voice not making any vibrations in my throat. I can't even feel myself speak.
"You're in the Capitol now, Coleen," she replies, the gentle touch her hand gone.
Lying back against the pillow behind me, I close my eyes, mumbling to myself some incoherent words. My eyesight is a little blurry, and even though I try to see who's talking to me, all I can see is blur of an object in front of me.
"You're safe now, Coleen."
"Blue or green?"
Nodding my head, I continue to look at myself in the mirror, swaying the bottom of the fabric with my hands. It swooshes back and forth, some of the jewels on it glistening under the light. I stop, looking at my whole body now, the image of myself seeming surreal.
It doesn't seem real.
"Blue or green?" The voice repeats, and I turn to see who's speaking, and I see that it's my stylist. "Coleen?"
"Blue," I reply with a smile. "Blue would be lovely."
"Blue it is!" She chirps, bringing over a blue brooch from the top of a tray. It's small, being covered in gems of different shades of blue. I smile at the sight of it, the nostalgia of the sea of District Four making me want go home.
I just have to get through this. Then I can go home.
As she places it on my head, I comply, the touch of her sending a chill down my spine. Although I've been out of the arena for at least a day now, I'm not used to it. It just all reminds me of… of her – Cassiopeia.
"Thank you," I reply, smiling again at her.
"Now for the interviews," she replies, holding out her hand for me to grab. "Shall we?"
"We shall."
"May I introduce to you the victor of the Thirtieth Hunger Games – Coleen Morisette of District Four!"
I stand up straight, smile, and begin to walk onto the stage. I am tempted to glance back for a moment, to see if they're still waiting for me at the edge, but I don't. Walking right into the whistles and screams, I feel unaccustomed, not yet used to all of this. It was only about two weeks ago that I was up here for my first time.
It seems like forever ago, though. Reality hasn't settled in yet.
Approaching Cicero, he holds out his hand, and I smile at him. I nod my head, not really wanting to shake his head or touch anyone. I'm content on my own, not needing the sense of someone else touching my body. Not after everything I went through in the arena.
"Still the standoffish Coleen we saw before the Games!" Cicero jokes, directing his comment to the audience. I shrug it off, knowing that I shouldn't show any reaction to it. "It's good to have you back, dear."
"It's good to be back, Cicero," I answer, my words sincere. It really is good to be back.
Cicero nods, looking over at the screen on the stage behind us. There, they will show the recaps of the Games, showing every death. Although I am slightly interested, I'd rather watch this on my own. I don't need to see anyone else's reaction to the deaths… they don't even understand.
They didn't experience what I did. They're only watching it through some screen.
"Oh, don't be so eager, Coleen!" Cicero jokes again, and this time, I smirk. "Who's ready for the – hold the applause… Games recaps!"
The crowd begins to clap, the sound gradually getting louder. I look at the screen, the lights dimming around us, and the words 'The Thirtieth Annual Hunger Games' pop up on the screen. Each letter is in a different color, and I scan them, trying to find the coral color that my suit was. I find it, the color filling the 'H' in 'Hunger'.
I look at Cicero one last time, whose attention is already drawn in it by the attention, and as I casually glance at the crowd, none of them care about me much anymore. They're all obsessed with this screen; it is that easy? To entertain them?
Are the Hunger Games the only thing that entertains them anymore?
As the words disappear, I know that next will be the showing of the tributes quickly. Fabian's face pops up on the screen, followed by Aoife… the two that I killed. The two of them are the reason I am here today, isn't it? If I didn't kill them, I'd be dead.
I owe this all to them, don't I?
As Helios' face disappears, Cassiopeia's replaces it, the image of her giving us that same smug and creepy smile making me feel uneasy for a moment. It's replaced by the boy from Three, then the girl from Three, and as it gets to Orson, I feel a little better. Then, it's my face.
The faces go on and on, all of their faces resonating in my mind. I was in the arena with all of them. Twenty-three of them are dead, only leaving me. Why does that sound so much worse than it did before?
Twenty-three of them dead.
One alive – the one being me.
The Capitol anthem blares, the screen going black again. On the screen, it shows the arena now, starting from the bottom tier, which was the black one. The camera spirals around the arena, starting from the bottom, and making its way back to the top. It's much taller than I thought it was, but it's still somewhat small. I guess each tier was smaller than it seemed.
As it gets to the top of it, the green part with the Cornucopia, I shift in my seat. All of us are standing around the bottom of the hill, and the camera only focuses on a few of them – the ones that I killed, in particular. Fabian, Aoife, and Cassiopeia. And then me.
They completely disregard everyone else.
Did their death not mean anything?
The gong sounds that started the Games, and in unison, everyone on the screen runs up the hill. I remember this moment, not thinking much of it then, but now, I see it all. They wanted to wear us all out, making us all out of breath by the time we got there.
And then it happens.
The first death.
The boy from Three is stabbed repeatedly by Cassiopeia, his blood squirting onto her white suite. She ignores it, still carelessly stabbing at him. It switches to the boy from Eight, and at the image, my eyes shutter; that's his District partner. I don't know what they're saying, but she seems to be pleading, and then he does it.
He kills her.
Sort of like how I killed Orson… but, that was different. It wasn't the same.
The video switches back to Aoife who's about to stab the girl from Seven, the small one. The blade pierces her in the back, and as I look at the image as a whole, I see myself. I looked so differently back then; or, at least, I think. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror much anymore.
It just seems wrong.
The next death happens, which is the boy from Nine. He's killed by Avis, who was Aoife's ally. I try to ignore any sight of Aoife right now, knowing that I'll see her again sometime. They'll show the big fight her and I had; it was the most riveting moments of the Games, probably.
Even I'll admit that.
And what comes next I seem have to completely forgot about. It's Fabian and Hollis; my first kill. Fabian kills Hollis, and quickly, I react. It was only me who reacted, and I should've seen that as a sign. A sign that Cassiopeia never cared, or that Augusta could never kill.
I shouldn't have been so deluded.
I kill Fabian, the trident embedding itself with such pressure that I flinch again from just watching it. The scene switches, now it being the nighttime, but still on Day One. It's the girl from District Five, Alecto; the girl that was slaughtered by Cassiopeia, all of which I witnessed.
Just seeing her makes me feel worse… I can't even look at her anymore.
I blink at the sound of someone's body dropping against the ground, the image of Alecto hovering over the girl from Six, a hammer in her hand. She killed her; how did she do that? Alecto never seemed like the type to kill.
Maybe it's because she was at such a disadvantage with Cassiopeia. She had no chance against her.
Next up is Day Two, I remember. That girl's cannon was the last one for that day. On the screen, it goes back to the boy from Eight, the one who killed his own District partner. He's with the male from Eleven now, both of them pretty beaten up. Blake, I remember his name is, goes right into fight; the boy from Eleven hesitates a little, but the fight's over soon, with Blake coming out victorious.
How does he do that?
Kill so carelessly? He's just like Cassiopeia, then. They should've allied.
What comes next is what will hurt me the most. The video goes to the nighttime again, where I told Orson to kill. I thought he could handle it; he was the closest, so I just told him to do it. On the screen, the girl from Ten is with Averil, the girl from Eleven, and then it happens. Orson kills the girl from Ten, letting Averil flee.
It was my fault.
That's why he went crazy – all because of me.
When Cassiopeia, Augusta, Orson, and I pop up on the screen, it shocks me. They are only supposed to show death scenes, aren't they? Why are they showing this? This was bad. Very, very bad.
It's when Orson pushed me to the ground. Where Orson was going crazy, saying that some ghost-type-thing was following him. I never saw it, so how was I supposed to know?
Orson pushes me to the ground, already off running before I can notice it completely. He should've stayed; running is what got him killed, but from who, I don't know. Probably by Aoife's Pack.
It's nighttime again, where the girl from Twelve is in a tree, a bow and arrow in hand. The boy from Ten is beneath her, simply walking past, and then she fires. How can she do that, too? She could have let him walk by.
This girl didn't have to do that.
I mean, I killed, but I have reasons. This girl is just killing to kill. Is there really a reason to it?
And now it's Day Four; the day where Orson was killed. It shows Orson, with two figures in front of him; Helios and Bishop. No… they couldn't have killed him. I thought Aoife, if anything, would have. As Orson steps towards them, Bishop throws her knife, and then Helios finishes him off.
Just like that.
My own District partner dead.
How will I be able to look his family in the face? It was my fault.
Day Five is what I have a question about, too. It was the day Augusta, my own ally, died. It shows Cassiopeia at the end of the hill, calling out to Augusta and I. Augusta follows her, and then it switches angles, showing Cassiopeia on top of Augusta.
I freeze at the image, not wanting anyone to see me like this. Cassiopeia killed her… she killed her own ally. And I had no idea. I didn't even expect it in the slightest.
Why did I ever trust her?
I know there's nothing I can do about it now, but, I just don't know. Cassiopeia betrayed Augusta, and her next target would've been me. As Cassiopeia slides the knife across Augusta's face, I look away, only looking back when I see the next pop up on the screen.
On the same day, there are the boys from Five and Six together with Blake. The boy from Six slips away it seems, hiding right behind a tree. The boy from Five and Blake fight, the boy from Five being able to overcome Blake. He was a killer now, too. They all are.
I wasn't the only one who killed.
I have to get over it.
It was what I had to do.
The day switches, now being Day Six. It shows the girl from Twelve and Averil now, apparently them being allies already. Something must've happened with the two of them before this. The sounds of the trees falling snaps me out of my thoughts, the sight of a large spider on the screen getting my attention.
The girl from Twelve throws Averil to the side, the spider landing right on top of the girl who just saved Averil. She sacrificed herself, or at least, it seems that she did, for Averil. Just as the spider brings down one of its legs down on the girl from Twelve, the scene switches, now going to the second death of that day.
During the night on this day, apparently, something happened with the boys from Five and Six. The boy from Five is sleeping, and I wait for something to pop out, but nothing does. It's just the boy from Six, shaking and mumbling to himself, and then, he takes out poison.
No.
He killed his own ally too, just like Cassiopeia did. Both of them are betrayers.
It's the morning again, and on the screen, it shows the boy from Six and Alecto. They are surrounded by birds, and I lean a little closer, anticipating if Alecto kills the boy. She's killed before, and although I don't expect it again, I'm not sure what happens. The birds are chirping and flapping their wings, drawing them together, and then that's when it happens. The boy activates a trap, sending a few spears through the back of his body.
Alecto shrieks, and that's when the screen goes black again.
The girl from Eleven, Averil, is on the screen again. She's running quickly, but I don't know from what, until it shows itself on the screen. They're butterflies, but something is off – they're exploding. They are flocking around Averil, surrounding her completely, all of them exploding at different times. They're blood splatters onto everything, and as Averil falls down, I close my eyes.
Both her and her ally dead from muttations. Is what the Gamemakers wanted all along?
As Day Eight comes to a close, next up is Day Nine, naturally. This time, it's Aoife and Avis standing across from Helios and Bishop. Is this how Avis and Bishop died? I was never sure on that one.
Helios stabs Avis in the back, not much going on before that, except for Aoife getting a hold on Bishop. Then, Bishop pushes herself back, making Aoife fall on top of her. But, as she did that, Bishop gets her own neck slit by Aoife's neck.
She did it to herself.
But, she would've been killed already.
Nothing was stopping Aoife.
And as their cannons sounds, I remember that there were only those two on that day. The next day is where the big fight happened, leaving Aoife dead. I can't even bear to watch it.
I only catch a glimpse of it, seeing me plunge the trident downwards into Aoife's chest. That's enough for me to see; I lived it. I know exactly what happened in that moment, and nothing can ever get those images out of my mind.
The images, the sounds, the smells. All of it.
Those will be with me forever, whether I like it or not.
Helios also died on this day, and if I'm honest, I'm curious as to how. If he wasn't killed by Aoife or Avis, then who? It had to either be Alecto or Cassiopeia. On the screen, I see Helios swimming in the water that flooded the arena. He's struggling, clearly, not being able to stay above the water.
And that's when I see her, too.
Cassiopeia, who's hanging out in a tree near Helios. She calls him over, and I gulp, knowing where this is going. Helios goes for Cassiopeia's hand, and as they grapple onto each other's hand, Cassiopeia stabs him in the hand. Helios falls, and as he swings to the side, I see something beneath him. They seem to be glowing orbs.
As Helios descends into the water, those orb-things pull him under even deeper, dragging him past the other trees. So, he drowned. It wasn't Cassiopeia who killed him, but it was close enough.
She didn't do much to help him.
Her own District partner.
Just like Blake. Just like me.
Now, it's the finale. The finale where Cassiopeia fought Alecto, and then me. The finale where I came out victorious.
Alecto's standing in front of Cassiopeia and I, and remember this moment clearly as well. As Cassiopeia leaps at Alecto, I throw myself at Cassiopeia, not really sure what I was trying to do. But, Alecto lashes out her hammer, and I grimace; why was I so stupid?
I let myself get injured.
I fall, leaving Alecto and Cassiopeia alone, and that's when it all falls apart. I just sat there, watching the two of them fight. Cassiopeia's already on top of her, clawing at her, cutting her, and then she carves out her eye. I remember that more clearly than I should.
It's drilled into my mind.
Why?
Because she could've done that to me.
And if I gave her chance, she would have.
As Cassiopeia finishes up snapping Alecto's neck, she comes towards me, and that's when things seem to speed up on the screen. They really don't speed up, but since I remember it all, I just wait for the next thing to come. There was the fog where Cassiopeia hid in and then there was where we started to fight. She lunged at me, I lunged back, she swiped her weapon, I swiped my weapon.
It was a back and forth fight.
Until I got the upper-hand.
I have her down on the ground now, the trident pressed against her throat. Her words echo in my mind, but not really loud enough on the screen for me to hear. I wish Cicero and audience heard what she said to me.
That I am not a victor.
That I never will be.
That I'm weak.
That I'm a victim.
And then, just like that, she's dead. And I am victorious.
The lights go back on, the screen closing off with the same words it started with. I look back at Cicero, who has a smile already on his face, looking at me attentively. I look at the audience, who are all staring at me now, and I just don't know what to do.
It's all quiet.
And then it all starts.
The noise. The claps. The screams. The whistles.
All for me… all for me for killing.
They're all applauding me, congratulating me, and revering me now. Why are they doing this? Do they not understand what I've done?
How do they not see something wrong with this?
They're all screaming their heads, and as I look back at Cicero, he's even clapping himself. Is this how they react to every victor? What sort of treatment is this?
They just don't get it… I'd like to see them in the Hunger Games. I'd like to see how they react after winning, after killing other kids you didn't even know.
That would be entertainment for me.
As I smile to them all, I sink down in my seat, the noise of everyone beginning to make my ears ring. I am tempted to just run off the stage, but I know better than that. I'm the Capitol's property now.
They own me.
Anything I do now can't upset them. If I upset them somehow, they'll get angry and punish me somehow. Maybe they'll force me into prostitution or to train other kids to volunteer for the Hunger Games.
I don't want that.
I couldn't live a life like that.
It's exactly what I volunteered for. To be my own person, to prove my independence. To show that no one owns me and that no one can own me. That I'm my own person.
That I am Coleen Morisette of District Four.
Not just another citizen of Panem, or my family's reject daughter, or the Capitol's victor.
I am me, and now, nothing can change that.
Not even being a victor.
"It gets better, you know."
I look at Atlas, not even attempting to hold back my sneer. Looking at him, I smirk, tipping the glass back to take another sip of the liquid. He smiles, pushing the plate closer in front of me, and then going back to looking out the train window.
"Does it?" I ask, my question only partially being rhetorical.
"I can you tell from past experience, that yes, it does," he replies, some levity in his voice.
"Can't say the same thing about Zachary," I deadpan, changing the mood of the conversation.
I probably shouldn't have said it, but I had to do. I had to get it out there. Zachary was a victor a long time ago, and once his friend died in the Twentieth Hunger Games, he drank himself to death. He killed himself over losing a friend.
He was District Four's first dead victor.
He was the first dead victor of Panem altogether, too.
What if that happens to me?
What if I turn to drinking? Drugs? Or just plain suicide.
Suicide came from District Twelve after the Twenty-Five Hunger Games. Their only victor, Arthur, killed himself. That can happen to me, can't it? I don't really know what to expect once I get back home, but hopefully, it isn't that bad.
I just hope that Mags and Atlas make it easier.
Putting the glass down on the table, I look up at Atlas who has yet to say anything back to me. I know that Atlas only started training when Zachary died, but still, Atlas probably knows more about him.
I shouldn't have said anything.
"I'm sorry," I whisper, not wanting to look at him in the eyes. "It's just…"
"I get it, Coleen," he replies quickly, not giving me much time to finish, even though I don't know what I would've said. "It's hard, and at times, it sucks."
"So how do you learn to live with it?" I ask, genuinely wanting to know.
If anyone doesn't seem affected by the Games that much, it's Atlas. Mags has her moments, sort of like the time in the Capitol where she started to watch previous Games and just cry. She always has a heart for the younger kids in the Games, always wanting to sponsor them.
But, she didn't get those Games were over.
Nothing could change that.
Atlas gets it, though. He's rather stoic about some things, and honestly, it's nice to see him like this. All open about himself, wanting to help me in any way than he can. I've never had someone there for me that wanted to help me.
It's nice for a change.
Atlas shrugs, and I wait a moment before saying something again, wanting a real response from him. Then, he opens his mouth, pausing before speaking. Did I do something wrong again?
"You don't really 'live with it'," he says, and I don't know whether or not I'm content with his answer. For now, I'm not.
"What do you do then?" I ask back, and this time, I can't help myself.
"You learn to cope with it. It never really goes away, it just sort of sits there… the guilt, the memories, the fact that you will never be the same person again…"
And that's what I wanted, isn't it?
To never be the same person again?
I just didn't think of the other consequences.
Maybe there's more to it than simple victory.
It's Cassiopeia.
She's larger than I remember, her hands and feet are enlarged. She's running towards me, and all I can do is sit where I am, and as I try to squirm, I can't. I'm restrained, only being able to see the monster in front of me comes towards.
She approaches.
Getting closer and closer.
I scream, but nothing comes out of my throat, and as I try to pry my hands away from my side, I still can't. She gets closer, and then closer, and then closer.
It's all over…
As she comes towards me, she raises her hand, about to bring it down on me. No… I won! I won, and she didn't! I killed her! I killed her, so she can't kill me!
She can't…
"Coleen?"
I feel someone's hand on my shoulder, and I flinch, beginning to toss and turn in my bed. The voice was gentle, nothing like Cassiopeia sounded.
"Coleen?" The voice asks again, and I can tell that it's male. Their hand shakes me a little more now, and as I open my eyes, I stop tossing.
I relax a little bit, the sight of my brother, Sebastian, makes me calm down. I see Evan standing behind him, and then behind him are my parents. They're all looking at me, a mixture of a smile and a grimace on their faces.
Just what I don't need – another disapproving look.
I won for them, didn't I?
Closing my eyes again, I feel like I'm sweating, but now I realize that it was only a dream. Cassiopeia's dead now, she is. She can't come back to get me. I killed her.
And that's that.
"Are you okay?" Sebastian asks, and for a moment, I put down my guard.
I smile, placing my hand on his shoulder, the warm smile on his face making me feel good. That maybe by volunteering, I proved something to him too. Not just Sebastian, but also to Evan.
That they can do whatever they want.
They just have to fight for it.
They don't need my parents' approval or praise; they can do whatever they want.
Even if it's winning the Hunger Games.
If I can do it, they can do it.
They just have to realize how liberating being a victor is.
Freedom.
Maybe one day the guilt will catch up with me. These nightmares might be a sign of this, but I can get over those. They come and they go, but at the end of the day, I know that Cassiopeia's dead. Nothing I can do will bring her back.
I find some solace in that.
And, besides, even if the guilt comes, I can deal with it. I have Mags and Atlas. I have Evan and Sebastian, too.
I even have my parents.
Although I wanted to be at first, I'm not on my own. I am not in this alone; I have people that truly care and love me supporting me. I can do this.
I'm no longer the indicative and strong-willed girl that wanted to prove her independence. The girl that resented her parents and brothers for something that she had no control over. The girl that wanted to win for herself, being completely selfish. The girl that was in it for herself. I am not that girl anymore.
I am Coleen Morisette.
I am the victor of the Thirtieth Hunger Games.
Author's Note:
The conclusion of Riot of Color is here!
This one ended sooner than From the Ground Up; let's not talk about that. Admittedly, I really did enjoy this one; the tributes and everything else. Epilogues are always such an emotional thing, huh?
As you know, I'm doing another SYOT. But… I just don't know how it's going to work. I'm travelling to France(ily) for about ten days, so I won't be on Fanfiction for that long and will have no way of contacting anyone. Eh, I'll figure something out.
Final questions of this story!
Overall, who were your favorite character(s)? Favorite District pair?
What was the most shocking death? What was the least shocking death?
Overall, what was your favorite chapter or most memorable moment?
At any point in the story, who did you think the victor would be? Are you content with the victor?
And the last personal question (I'll miss these a lot, honestly. This one is really important too, okay.)
What is your favorite book genre? And, what is your favorite book?