A/N: This is an idea I've been kicking around for ages, haven't posted it before because I couldn't seem to get this first chapter right. I'm still not super-pumped about it, but if I don't get this story going, it'll live partially-done on my hard drive forever.

I do take some dialogue from "Catching Fire" here. Obviously, all genius belongs to Suzanne Collins and not to me.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. On so many levels, it shouldn't have been like this. I was so careful not to get attached. I didn't socialize on the train to the Capitol. I refused to train with anyone once I was there. All because I knew it would just make it harder later, when we have to kill each other.

I have no illusions of greatness. We started with 48 children. 48 families plastered to their TV screens, praying to whatever gods exist to bring their babies home. 39 of those families have already watched their loved one butchered on live broadcast across the nation. This whole thing is so incredibly stupid, I can't believe it still happens. Sometimes I just want to tell this whole world to fuck off.

It's not like I have a load of people at home waiting for me. Mom died years ago giving birth to my little sister, who got sick and died not three months after. Dad works in the mines, so my older sister Heather keeps the house and hires herself out for odd jobs so we won't have to take out tesserae. She's the one that will hurt the most when I'm finally gone.

But one person who undoubtedly has tons of people waiting for her back in District 12 is, oddly enough, sleeping quietly, curled up against me. Maysilee's curly golden hair frames her face and she looks so pretty, I know I'm in deep, deep trouble.

She is much quicker and smarter than I had originally estimated. I hadn't seen her since the bloodbath until three days ago, when a poisoned dart she fashioned saved my life. Since then, we've been a team. Although I promised myself I'd never form alliances, having her here has been…nice? Advantageous? Enlightening? I don't know.

The day before yesterday, we were fighting off a pair of boys from District 3. I only knew where they were from because she told me afterward. One of them had been knocked down, but came at her from the back while I was busy with the other. Paralyzing panic set in and I screamed "May!" She turned and shoved a dart right between his eyes. Later, we were splitting the food from their bags.

"Does your family call you Haymitch or do they have a nickname for you?"

I thought it over. "My sister calls me Mitch. Everyone else calls me Haymitch."

"Everyone calls me Maysilee except my dad. He calls me Madge." She sat silent for a minute. "Do you just have one sister?"

"I had another but she died as a baby."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Your sister is older, right?"

"Heather, yeah. She's three years older than me."

"I think I know her, she worked a couple summers at the store when we needed extra help."

"Yeah."

"I liked her."

Thinking about my sister made me sad, she must be so worried about me right now. "So you're a twin, right?"

"Yep, me and Melinda. I'm older by a minute and a half." Her face fell. "I miss her."

I took first watch that night, staring up at leafy canopy in this hellish wonderland. We had squeezed into a ditch covered by a large fallen tree trunk.

"Mitch?" Maysilee whispered from the sleeping bag next to me.

"Yeah?" I whispered back.

"What's something you'll regret not doing if we don't make it out?"

I couldn't see her face in the dark, but I stayed propped on my elbows. "Telling Snow to fuck off to his face?"

She giggled. "No, really."

I thought for a moment. "I don't know. My future in 12 would look like a miner's uniform. Can't really say I was looking forward to that."

"Did you want to get married?"

"I dunno. Maybe. Never gave it much thought."

"I wanted to get married." She said sadly.

"To anyone in particular?"

She sighed. "No, not really. My friends all have crushes, but I guess I never found mine."

"Oh, come on. You're so pretty, lots of guys have to be after you."

I could almost feel her blushing. It's the truth, though. Aside from Lily, the apothecary's daughter, the Donner twins were widely regarded as the most attractive girls at school. Maysilee's voice dropped until it was barely audible. "Haymitch?"

I moved closer to hear her and she leaned in to my ear.

"I don't want to die a virgin."

I'm sure my eyes looked like they would pop out of my head, but I looked, shocked, straight into her face and she was looking right back at me.

"Maysilee, you don't want that with me."

"No, Mitch, I've thought hard about this. Facing certain death, it's put things in perspective. Chances are, one or both of us will die tomorrow, or the next day. And I want do something special, something I can really feel, with someone I trust. I don't want to die with regrets."

This whole conversation had been so quiet, cameras would have been hard pressed to get clear audio on it, but that sort of activity was certain to draw attention. "Everyone is going to see."

"Not if you get in this sleeping bag with me." She raised her voice slightly. "Haymitch, I'm cold."

I considered the situation for a half moment, but couldn't really argue with her conclusion, or pass up a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity with the most amazing girl in District 12. My hormones were already going haywire. I matched her volume. "Scoot over."

As I got in, I realized I had never been this close to a girl besides Heather ever. Maysilee's beautiful blue eyes were taking in everything. I pulled the sleeping bag up over our heads. She placed a soft, tentative kiss on my lips. I returned it. The warmth from her body was radiating and any chill I had from the night air was quickly gone. We kissed hesitantly again. I brought my hand up to rest on her hip. Her shape, even through her arena clothes, was so soft and feminine, yet strong. I parted my lips and she followed suit, deepening the kiss. Her delicate hand came to rest at my sternum, and if I hadn't been completely turned on before, I was now. I waited until she seemed ready for something more before pushing her shirt up a few inches and resting my hand on her bare skin. Maysilee inhaled sharply, then slid her hand under my own shirt and traced lines on my chest. After a moment, she grabbed the hem at my waist and pulled the shirt over my head. I was resisting the urge to hurry things along by reminding myself to let Maysilee set the pace. The last thing I wanted was for her to get hurt.

She let me strip her of her shirt. Though I couldn't see much under the covers, I knew she was absolutely flawless. Her skin was so smooth, I wanted to touch every inch of it. I tore my lips from hers long enough to whisper, "You are so beautiful." directly in her ear. She shivered and trailed her hand down, painfully slowly. It took all my effort not to end it all right there. Maysilee deserved better than a teenager that shoots his load in his pants. Of all the guys on earth, I was the one lucky enough to experience this.

"Sweetheart, are you sure?" I asked one more time. It might have killed me to stop then, but she had to be certain.

She reached up and pulled me in for a long, slow kiss. "I'm sure."

We moved a bit awkwardly, slowly, carefully, learning every inch of each other. We joined together in a way I could never begin to understand. She was the sexiest, most angelic creature at her climax, and I would have gladly frozen time in that moment forever. My arms gave out and I collapsed on top of her after I had finished. She ran her dainty fingers through my thick dark hair.

"Mitch, it was perfect." She murmured. All I wanted to do was sleep like that, but I knew we had been off our guard long enough.

"I'm glad." I smiled. "You deserve perfect." I felt around for my shirt and shorts. "You get some sleep. I'll keep watch."

I studied her face as she slept. I hadn't noticed the light freckles that dot her cheeks. Her long, beautiful eyelashes. She truly is stunning. We were together again last night, and I know I'm in trouble because I keep pondering ways to get both of us out of the arena. I need her now. The second night, if possible, was even better than the first. I discovered little intimacies about her that only I know. We've become one, and I feel like a useless half without her. Where I'm lackluster and ambivalent, she is brilliant and full of conviction.

I've mulled it over, and I think our best chance is find the edge of the arena. It obviously can't go on forever. If we find it, maybe we can both escape. I look down at the angel sleeping next to me. We have to find it. Together. As I started collecting our things and packing them in my backpack, Maysilee stirs. Her clear blue eyes flutter open.

"Haymitch."

I smile. My name is the first thing out of her mouth in the morning. "Come on, let's get moving."

She stretches and rises, gathering her things. "Where are we going?"

I point in the direction of a set of hedges I wandered through the day Maysilee found me. "That way."

"How come?"

I turn and begin walking. "Come on."

She follows for an hour or so, relatively silently, before persisting, "Mitch, why are we going this way?"

I ignore her. If they hear my plan, the gamemakers might change something. Then I hear her pack hit the forest floor.

"Haymitch Abernathy, I will not go one more step until you tell me what's going on."

I turn and step back toward her. "Because it has to end somewhere, right? The arena can't go on forever."

She looks suspicious, but a bit intrigued. "What do you expect to find?"

"I don't know, maybe there's something we can use."

This seems to satisfy her for the time being. I don't want to express my hope that we might be able to escape. Too many people are listening. Shortly after, we reach the hedge maze I had encountered before. I try to take different routes through it, but we keep getting rounded back to the entrance. The fourth time through, Maysilee stops about a hundred yards in to study a portion of the leafy wall.

"This is the back."

"How do you know?"

"I paid attention the first three times through."

I get up close and feel around the shrub. "It's really thick, we can't just push through."

Maysilee is rolling up her sleeves. "Hand me that blowtorch we got off that girl from District 2."

She is so smart. I rummage through my bag, handing her the tool. She wastes no time firing it up and lighting a six-foot portion of the hedge on fire. Once the flames have subsided, we can easily kick out the charred remains and step through: into nothing.

The ground is flat and lifeless. May follows me as I walk up to the edge of a precipice, and look down. This is it. There is no magical end of the rainbow. No door that we can walk through that leads out of this evil, twisted game. I know I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, because it makes this moment so much more crushing. I will not leave with Maysilee. One of us might get out, more likely neither, but there will be no future for me and her. I am angry. Angry at myself for not knowing her sooner, but more angry at the Capitol for forcing us together, only to rip us apart in the most tragic way possible. I'm seventeen, she's sixteen, and we're going to die. Not only die, but be brutally murdered. Rage boils inside of me.

"That's all there is, Haymitch. Let's go back."

I'm too paralyzed. "No, I'm staying here."

She sighs, and kicks at the ground. "All right. There's only five of us left. May as well say good-bye now, anyway. I don't want it to come down to you and me."

I want to say a thousand words. I love her. I don't want her to go. If it came down to it, I'd put my knife through my own chest to make sure she goes home. But I don't say any of that. I stare at the ground and say, "Okay." And that's it. She's gone.

I'm frustrated with myself. And circumstances beyond my control. But I'm not ready to give up on this area. I kick at the pebbles at my feet. One dislodges and careens over the cliff. A moment later, it comes right back. The wheels in my head spin. I pick up a larger rock and toss it over. Again, it returns. Excitement sparks in me, and I laugh.

I'm about to yell for Maysilee when I hear the worst sound that has ever met my ears. She is screaming painfully. My feet can't get me there fast enough. I round the hedge and my stomach drops. A flock of stupidly pink birds with long beaks are running her through. One delivers the final blow to her neck. My knife is out and in one flick of the wrist, the bird falls, stabbed through the head, and the others scatter.

My heart is breaking as I run to her. Blood soaks her clothes in several places and erupts out of her throat. My life is ending.

"May!" She reaches for my hand as I fall to my knees. She tries to speak, but begins to choke on her blood.

"Shh." I hold her hand and run my fingers through her lovely hair. "I'm here." I lean over so my lips are touching her ear. "I love you."

She coughs, her eyes wide. She tightens her grip on my hand. "Mitch."

"Shh, don't." I try to soothe her.

She pulls me closer. Blood is seeping out her mouth. She is gasping for air. "Win. For me."

"Maysilee, please." Tears are flowing down my cheeks now, and I don't remember them forming. A drop falls from my face onto a pin she wears on her collar. It's a mockingjay. My Maysilee is drowning in her own blood and I can't do a thing about it. I think about how she should have gone home, gotten married, had beautiful babies, and lived a long life in District 12. Instead, she lays here. It's not fair. It's just not fair.

Her breathing becomes more rapid, and the horrible gurgling increases. I feel like it's me that's dying and I just want it to be over. Her blue eyes are wide with panic and I try not to cry out loud. She needs me to be strong for her. I keep hold of her hand and hold her gaze. I want every second of those sky blue eyes. I just have a few moments left. She never looks away from me, even when she's breathed her last. After a moment, when I hear the cannon, I reach up and draw her eyelids down.

I suddenly feel empty. Dead. Like there's no reason to continue on. I turn my knife over in my hand, seriously considering finishing myself off, until I think of Heather. I can't do that to her. I give Maysilee's bloody lips one last, light kiss, take her pack, and head off into the woods.

Thanks so much to everyone who has put me or my previous works on their favorites list, I appreciate it! Leave me some comments, and read a couple more chapters before you decide this one sucks ;)