December 11
Xavier's mad at me for turning on the thermostat for the entire mansion. Well, it is cold.
December 12
Mail came in today. Jubilation wrote, just like she promised. She said:
Dearest Rogue,
How is everything at the mansion? Is it lonelier now that everyone's gone?
How about everyone still there? I wonder how Mr. McCoy is holding up. You should
go visit him in his room. He counts things because he's bored (though he hates to admit it).
And how about Remy? I heard he wasn't going back to New Orleans or to Magneto for the Holidays.
Send him my regards. Oh and I'm sending over gifts. You'll get them by Christmas, to ensure that
you guys don't open them yet *wink*.
I'll write more later.
Jubes
She had it all typed and nice on this Tarepanda paper with real mistletoe inside the envelope (with a letter stating to hang it over the foyer). I'll go hang it now.
December 13
This morning, Logan took us tree-hunting. Xavier said he'd stay behind and watch the mansion (like it'd go anywhere). But he insisted, and we didn't feel like dragging him there, so we left him.
There's this really nice forest behind the mansion's lot - no one comes in or out of it since people thought they saw Bigfoot roam around, although we know it wasn't Bigfoot- just Mr. McCoy. So anyway, we found this gigantic hemlock - perfect for the main room, and Logan clawed it just midway through its stump, when we heard this diabolicle laughter from behind. No, it wasn't Pietro, but Pyro, with Colussus by his side.
"G'day mates!" Pyro called, and I saw Remy slap a hand to his face. Logan, growling, shone his claws to them.
"If I were you, I'd stay away," he hissed, but Pyro took a step forward anyway.
"Aw, Gambit, not too happy to see us, eh?" he asked. Remy opened his mouth to speak, but Pyro held up a hand. "I mean, it's the season for friends, and we aren't in the mood for fighting, so how 'bout coming back to Magneto's for some egg nog?" Remy stared at him blankly.
"Sorry, mon ami, I have dues," he said. Pyro shrugged, then turned to go. Logan, seeing no fight needed, turned back to his tree. Colussus, apparently in the middle of all of this, suddenly made a mad dash toward Logan. Remy yelled, and I screamed and Logan turned around just in time to see Colussus plow into him. There was this deafening crack, but it wasn't Logan who did - it was the tree.
"Timber!" I heard Colussus yell, and we all ducked from the pines and seeds which rained through the air. When everything finally settled, Colussus told us he'd help carry the tree back to the mansion. Pyro, seeing that he was being nice, joined us once again. As for Logan, well, he wasn't too happy about the uneventful turn around.
"Naw, we got it here, bub," he told Colussus, hoping they'd go away. I thought it was mean and piped in, "Now, wait just a minute, Logan." Everyone looked at me like they hadn't noticed me before. "Colussus did us some good. You hafta admit, too Logan, that without him, your claws would be bent solid."
Logan growled but nodded. "I see your point, stripes," then frowned once again, "but what if they just want to get into the mansion to steal things?"
"Aw, now understand, mate," Pyro said, "Magneto has no point to invade you all, or he'd do it already. Anyway, he told us that we have the holiday off. Now," he rubbed his hands, "can we be off?"
So, right now, Remy's cooking for them and they're calling me down. I better go, I don't want Pyro to break anything whilst trying to entertain himself from boredom.
December 14
They're staying in the guest rooms right now. Pyro and Colussus --ergh, John and Peter, I mean. We stayed up until one in the morning just talking and playing cards.
"Remy, here," John said, chewing on some gingerbread and laying down his cards, "is the best at this dern game. He beats us all off our rockers good."
"Oui," Remy commented, laying his cards down. A royal flush. He had won.
"Again," John said, throwing his cards down and then smiling. Then he looked at me with a cocked eye. "You the girl he left us for?"
I rose my eyebrows and heard Remy choke on his gingerbread. I hit his back while Peter gave him soda.
"Drink," he ordered, as Remy downed it.
Pyro chuckled. "Is that a yes?"
"No," I put in. John stopped chuckling and looked away.
There was some more talk about the fire and the snow and then Peter said he'd get more cookies and disappeared into the kitchen. I raised an eyebrow and John noticed.
"Don't take it personally, sheila*," he said, patting my shoulder, "he's quiet like that. He's the type that listens and never talks."
"Oh," I said, and saw John burst a grin. He answered before I could even ask what it was for.
"He likes your comrade," he said all cutesy. "That one with the ponytail..."
"Kitty?!" I said in disbelief. Ga lee (wow). Remy looked away with a small smile on his face.
"Yeah. I mean, he never says anything, but you could tell," John said, nudging Remy's arm. He nodded and looked up to see Peter come back with cookies lined neatly on the tray before him.
"Were you talking about me?" he asked John innocent enough. John laid his arm on Peter's shoulder.
"Always, mate, always."
They talked some more before we all turned in for the night. I am still in utter disbelief until today. How could someone that bulky and quiet fall for someone so annoying and ebullient?
Love is strange sometimes.
December 15
We went shopping today. With them. St. John borrowed Scott's clothes (since he didn't feel like going back to Magneto's for his own) while Mr. McCoy lent Peter his black coat. The mall isn't that far away - but nobody felt like walking so we took the X jeep for the ride. It was fun too, until John got a bit frenzy and started to yell, so Remy had to threathen him with a lighted card. John had to shut up since he didn't bring along his flame box or whatever that supplies his fire.
When we got there, we separated into two groups: Remy with John and Peter with me. We planned to meet at the food court at four and John immediately dragged Remy into Structure. I took Peter for an Orange Julius and then around the clothing stores. He finally purchased this snazy Edward Scissorhands' top with zippers to expand when he needed to. He was extremely quiet until I brought up the subject of buying something for anyone special. Then he looked over at me with this, how you know? look and I just smiled innocently.
"What are you talking about?" he asked. I then led him into Caprice, a glass gift store, and told him just to look around. He spent like a hour looking at all the glass sparkling (there's a lot too) and the glass-blown flowers.
"That one," he suddenly spoke. I came to his side and grinned at what he had picked: a cat playing with flowers. He has really romantic taste (like Kurt not to mention). We bought it and went to the food court where John and Remy sat at a nearby table.
"That's twenty-one of them," John said, stuffing paper into his wallet.
"Twenty-one of what?" I asked as we slid in next to them.
"Phone numbers of sheilas," John winked. "I'd ask yours, but Remy already gave me it."
l looked over at Remy who just smiled. "I didn't think you'd want him t' ask, chere," he said.
We ordered pizza (which surprisingly Peter didn't know what it was) and finally left. Peter said he wanted to walk back so I told Remy to take John back with him in the X jeep - I didn't want Peter to get lost. Remy gave me this discerning look and finally complied.
Peter and I walked about a block or two before he started talking. "This reminds me of Russia," he said all dreamingly. I smiled, and he spoke up again. "You're nice, Rogue. I can see why Remy likes you."
I can't believe it. I mean, I liked it and all, but it wasn't the truth. Or at least, I don't think it is. I explained that Remy had Jean as his girlfriend and Peter grinned.
"I never heard him talk about Jean like he talk about you."
"He talks about me?"
"Why not?" Peter asked. By then, we had reached the mansion. We walked the stretch between the gate and the actual building before Peter spoke up again.
"And how do you know I like her?" Her meaning Kitty.
"So you do?"
"I asted you first, my dear," he said, and I smiled.
"John said you did. Is it true?" He paused.
"I -- don't know." Ga lee. It is true!! What will Kitty say? What will Lance say?? Should I say anything though?
I don't think so. Peter should keep thinking I'm nice.
December 16
They left. Said that Magneto would let them out again on Christmas day. No freedom? Certain dismissed days? What is this? Severance pay?
But I could say this much: all this visiting makes me think twice if they are really evil.
December 17
Mail. One for me, from Jean. It read:
Dearest Rogue,
How's everything going? How's Remy? I hope he got better, he was coughing so much last time I saw him...
I really wished I could stay. I mean, what's Christmas without your friends? But then, I have to think twice
because I do have family. Kisses to Xavier, Mr. McCoy and more for Remy.
I want a full report when I get back!!
Love, Jean
The never ending cycle of use Rogue over and over again.
December 18
The brotherhood came over. With gifts. I am not kidding.
Lance, Todd, Fred, and even Pietro. They all came over - but I think it's because they want free food. No matter. Xavier can afford it. But we had our doubts on whether they could stay - I mean, what would Logan say? But we had no worries - they said they weren't looking forward to a stay.
"Just gifts," Pietro said all rushy and gave me five bag fulls of gifts since I opened the door for them.
"Well, we're decorating the tree. Would you like --" and before I could even finish my sentence, they all rushed in. Then they came into the main room, saw Remy and stopped in their tracks.
"What's he doing here, yo?" Todd asked, his pale face paling even more.
"He lives here, doofus," I said, as Remy joined my side.
"What?!" they all said at once. I laughed.
"I won't hurt you, mon ami," Remy said, handing them popcorn to string. They looked at it dauntingly. "Go ahead, no poison or anything, capos**," he said, laughing with me. They did as they were told.
"So what made you come here, yo?" asked Todd, taking out the star and hopping to the top branch. He placed it on and hopped back down.
"De women," Remy winked at me and moved the ladder closer to the tree.
"I would too but I'm too impatient," Pietro said. Lance agreed.
"I think we all would -- Fred stop eating the popcorn." Remy grinned and I hate to admit it, but I felt my heart flutter as the memory of Peter's words returned to my head. It wasn't until Lance threw a decoration at me that I came back to earth.
"Hello? Didn't you hear anything I said?" he asked me irritably. I rubbed where he had hit me and asked what. "The cookies! When are going to make them?"
"To hang?" I asked, oblivious.
"No," Fred said, "to eat!"
So then we entered the kitchen. Mr. McCoy was already there, the silverware drawer overturned and forks and spoons covering the counter. Everyone was in shock, especially Mr. McCoy. He jumped into a panic and started throwing spoons into the drawer and stuffed it sloppily back into its proper place. We stared at each other before he said, "Excuse me." and left the kitchen. We agreed amongst ourselves to keep it between us, and took out the cookie dough. Shaped it, cut it, baked it, and finally ate it while watching a special of Smallville.
"That's whack, yo. Everyone who knows Clark Kent's secret has to die. It's like an unwritten rule, yo," Todd said, and we had to agree. By then it was already six and they had to leave since Logan was coming to check on us.
"Say a Happy Holidays to everyone," Pietro said, and they all went after him. Except for Lance. He stayed until they were far away from him, and then handed me an envelope.
"Give this to Kitty for me," he said. I took it. It was pink with a small bow on the corner. A bell rung from the middle of it. Then he walked down as if he had given me nothing and that was it.
I want to open it, though I already know what it is. Poems. It's really stuffed, that I can say. But I wanna read them! Remy says just to leave it under the tree so I'm not tempted. Ergh, what I hafta face...
December 19
No visitors today. I can't write much since the power suddenly went out and it's getting dark. I'll go buy candles tomorrow.
December 20
Today, I went to visit Mr. McCoy in his room. He has a lot of gadgets in there, that's for sure. He confines himself for the boredom and the way he looks. Jubes was right - he was lonely.
"Mr. McCoy?" I asked, opening the door.
"Rogue? That you? Come in!" he said, cheerfully. I entered, and he noticed the wrapped box I was holding. "That something that needs to be opened?"
"Actually," I said, holding it out to him, "it's for you."
He smiled to himself and took it. His blue hands traced it longingly. "Thank you, Rogue," he said, putting it aside. I looked around, as he jumped off the table he was sitting on.
"You work here all day?" I asked. He chuckled slightly.
"No, no, Miss Rogue. You don't exactly believe that do you?"
"I wouldn't -- that is, if you like me to believe..."
"Why would I think that? You have a mind of your own." No. I don't not anymore. Not since..well, you know. HE came along. And brought havoc upon me.
I think Mr. McCoy saw me drift and said, "Well, Rogue. I see you're in your own world again..."
"Sorry," I apologized and gave a small smirk. Then I pulled out the mail I had taken. "This one's for you," I told him, giving it to him. He read the writing scribbled on it.
"Jubilee," he mumbled, and sat on the counter, opening it. I noticed he opened it solid straight - not like when I do, all crinkled and torn.
"Dear Mr. McCoy," he read aloud, "I hope everything is doing fine. My hope to Xavier that things are well..." he read ahead to himself and smiled. "Thank you Rogue," he said, and hopped off the table. Then he opened the door and smiled at me. "I'm sorry to cut this on a short notice," he said, and then I heard my name being called. "But as you can hear, someone is calling you."
I said my good-bye and walked up to the foyer to find Ritzy standing there.
"Where'd you come from? And how'd you get in?" I asked, and then heard, "I let her in."
Remy. I saw Ritzy smirk as he appeared behind me. "I thought I'd come over to see how everything is doing. It's great to see you again, Remy," she said and smiled. Remy nodded his head to be polite and grabbed his coat.
"I's be off," he said.
"Where?" I asked. It was still light outside, and I highly doubted he was going to do "business" with his fellow gamblers. He only smirked in response and let the door close behind him.
"So," Ritzy said, taking a step forward. I frowned my best.
"No Ritzy. I don't like him," I said, and turned around.
"You're in denial," she commented, and followed me into the main room. I heard her gasp in sight of the tree.
"The brotherhood came over yesterday," I told her. She gave me an unsure look, though I knew she's heard of them before. "Did they give you any trouble?" she asked. I hummed, hanging up the stringed popcorn the Boys strung yesterday.
"Nope," I said with a popping noise, and turned around to see Ritzy hold a wrapped box in her hands.
"Now, Rogue," she said, thrusting it into my arms, "it's for Christmas. I don't want..."
"Ritzy, I know," I said, rolling my eyes and putting it under the tree, "so stop acting like my mother." She then gave me this parsimonious look and I brushed a sideways look at her.
"I have to go," she muttered, stepping over the decorations. I followed.
"What? So soon?" She didn't answer - just slammed the door behind her. I wonder why she was so hurt. But then Mr. McCoy invited me into the kitchen to pick up some egg nog and let me return to my room. Which is where I am now.
December 21, 10:30 pm
I found Remy sleeping on the floor by the tree today when I got home from shopping. He had finished decorating the tree - it just wasn't lit because the power was out. I nudged Remy, knowing that he wouldn't budge.
"Rem, get up," I crooned. Then when he didn't respond, I ran up the steps, grabbed a few pillows and blanket from his room and rushed down again. Knew I couldn't pull him up - it would take too much strength. So I threw the blanket around him, the pillows under his head, pulled off his boots, and left him to sleep. He didn't move all the while I was bustling about him. Dude. I hope he's happy.
December 22
Remy made me go walking with him today. It was already dark when we left the mansion, but still, with the snow falling and the air tight with spice, it was worth it. The first two blocks we were silent. I noticed that the street lamps were out of power too, and what a pity. Then Remy spoke up.
"Thank you," he said, giving me a quick look. I burrowed my brow.
"For what?"
"For making me sleep com'torble." He grinned and lighted a cigarette. I watched, amused. Remy gave me another quick glance and put it out.
"I write, you know," he said, stiffening. "To Jean. She likes it." She also likes to check up on you, I wanted to say. But didn't. Remy noticed my silence.
"You always dis mysterious, Rogue?" His question was beckoning. I let out a quivering breath.
"Yes, Rem. Always," I answered. I hesiatated and brought up Kurt. "You did it, didn't you. The date for Kurt..Amanda."
He smirked, his lips tightening. "Yeah."
"He wanted it from the start," I said, catching my breath. "That's why he was your "slave". He owed you...to make the perfect night."
"Arranged t' teleport from Germany t' pick up Amanda and bring her here. He's very...organized..." Then Remy turned to me, reached out, and put his hands on my arms. My heart fluttered again. Then he pulled them away and took out something black, like two switches. Pulled them both down and suddenly, as if my magic, the lamp posts flickered on. Soon, the whole street filled with light, and I turned to Remy, speechless. But he had already turned away.
"Merry Christmas, Rogue," he said, and walked away. His voice was reluctant and I knew why. Jean. It's always about Jean. But, okay. Review what just happened here. He turned off a whole city for two days. For me. That's gotta tell you something, right? RIGHT??
December 23
I delivered gifts to the Brotherhood: Fred a tray for food, Pietro running shoes, Lance a pen and paper to write more to Kitty, and shampoo for Todd (though I don't think he'll use it). Wrapped and delivered them. They asked where Remy was since he didn't come with me. Actually, I haven't seen him all day. And I do kinda miss him.
December 24
It's all over the news how the power suddenly turned on for all of Bayville yesterday and today. I don't think Remy even knows - he's not here today either.
9:13 pm
Ritzy came over again. She apologized for walking out and I said I shouldn't have said it in the first place. Then she accepted my gift - I gave her two crematic doves symbolizing friendship, like from the Home Alone II movie. Only these I bought at Anderson's Gift Counsel. Jubilation's gifts came today. Put them under the tree and admired it for a bit. It was kinda dazzling, the way I had seen it. The lights were finally on, the fire was bright, and since Ritzy left, it's been the loneliest Christmas ever.
December 25 ~ Christmas Day
I had woken up early -- 2 a.m. to be exact. Watched the snow quietly fall for awhile until someone knocked on my door. Cursing a bit, I got down from my perch on the window sill and stalked off toward the door. To my surprise, Xavier was waiting on the other end. He held up his hand before I could say a thing, and lifted a package from his lap.
"Merry Christmas, Rogue," he said warmly as I accepted the gift, "breakfast is at eight this morning." Then he zoomed off in that wheelchair of his, skidding a bit on the cold, carpeted path. I slammed the door and hurried into the center of my room, unwrapping it, I daresay, most selfishly. I was acting quite childish, but I knew it was worth it when all the tape and tight wrapping was torn away, and all that was left was a box that said "Third Street" on the cover. Slowly, I tore the tape around it and lifted the cover. Smiling, I pulled out the prettiest dress that I had ever had to admit pretty which wasn't black. It had white trimmings on red velvet and when I tried it out, it was perfect both length and size. I felt like Cinderella when she put on the drab of pink that those mice made while singing and pulling strings and scissors...
Only Xavier gave it to me. Well, I had no shoes to go with it, until I remembered those red ones Jean left behind. I actually had a reason to wear them. I bet Xavier planned all this with Jean - but I was too excited to think about it. The only thought I had was how would Remy react when he saw me. That flooded my mind. Really.
Logan was waiting downstairs already. He was eating his daily eggs while standing up and leaning against the wall by the kitchen door. I never did think he liked eating with the others anyway.
"Well, you clean up well," he commented, and I blushed. Then I noticed he was tacted into some kind of suit under his long coat.
"I see you're going somewhere," I mused. He stopped eating and looked down as if he never knew he was dressed like that.
"Yeah. Ororo invited me over to her sister's house," he said, and there stopped his explanation, for at the door was knock, and behind the door was St. John and Peter - carrying gifts.
"Rogue!" John said, lifting up the bags to show the contents, "I hope we aren't a bothering you at the moment..."
"Naw," I said, taking the bags and leading them in. "Remy's not here, but I think you can make yourselves comfortable without..." At that moment, Logan came in, and I saw John's eyebrows shoot up.
"We-hehell," he sang while Peter showed the same stone face he appeared with. Logan growled and walked out the door.
We past the time exchanging gifts and passing around cookies. John was a clammer while Peter just sat there, nibbling a little as he listened to our talk.
It was a pity we had to start eating without Remy. Xavier had put out this whole feast and there was only the five of us to eat it. The whole while, John kept trying to fling his food at Peter to see what he would do, but Xavier would always stop him. Finally, we all gathered in the main room to open gifts. Xavier went first. A sweater from Hank, a sweater from me. He seemed to like both, although they were the same drab he always wears. I just got it for him so he could change into it when he sleeps. Then Hank opened his gifts: I gave him a calculator and Xavier a new lab set. He was giddy about both. Next, John opened his: a brain teaser book so that he'll have something to do when he gets bored from me, and a pair of goggles from Peter.
"Cos you melted the others," Peter explained. Peter opened his afterwards: Cookies from John ("You like them so" John said) and a picture frame from me. "I'll get a picture of her later," I whispered. Peter shook his head smiling and thanked me.
Then I opened my presents. Jubilee gave me gothic cuffs, John flowers in holiday colors, Peter a necklace with a rose in the middle of a glass heart (from Caprice), Ritzy the whole Adam Sandler collection of DVDs to watch on a random rainy day, and a small replica of me to hang on the tree from Mr. McCoy.
Suddenly from behind, I heard someone draw in their breath, and I (actually everyone) turned around to see Remy. All eyes were on him and his wet trench coat with snow still on his shoulders as he strode into the room. Although I haven't seen him in the longest time, he was well groomed and wore the same black turtleneck I had seen him in with Ritzy.
"Well, it's about time," John said, getting up and hugging Remy. He retreated instantly, his front damp with water. "Perfect," he said, grinning.
"Maudit snow," Remy said, and then his eyes locked with mine. I quickly turned away, but felt myself going red. Xavier broke the silence, asking if anyone wanted apple cider. Peter suddenly pointed to the clock and John jumped into a frenzy.
"Eight o'clock already?!" he looked at our appalled faces and gave a reassuring smile. "Magneto wants us back by now." They headed to the door with their gifts and told Remy to come visit some time. Then they left and the room filled with irritating silence.
"Well, Hank, you could come help me with the cider," Xavier said, rolling from the foyer. Mr. McCoy rolled his eyes at me, and then to Remy, and finally he walked away without a word. So we stood there, awakward as it was, until I remembered Remy's gift. I told him to wait here as I jumped off the steps and took up the presents, stuffing them into his wet coat. When I held it out to him, he gave me a face as if he thought I was joking.
"This is my trench coat," Remy said, raising an eyebrow. I smiled.
"Put it on," I told him. He looked at me doubtfully and finally complied.
"It seems heavier.." he reached into one of his inside pockets and pulled out a bottle of wine. "What the--?" he grinned, feeling each pocket. Then he pulled out cards, a pocket knife, and a pack of cigarettes.
"My...favorite things..." he stammered, and grinned at me. I never thought of seeing that famous trademark of his again. Then he pulled me into a hug and for a second I thought he wasn't going to let go, until Xavier came in and I pushed myself away from Remy. Of course I left afterwards, not too thrilled in having to spend any more time with Xavier or Mr. McCoy or even Remy. I said my good-byes and went upstairs. There's the soft sound of Christmas music panging from the lower level right now, and not to mention Remy's playing on his guitar - I can hear him from inside my room.
December 26
The Brotherhood each gave me gloves. The others return tomorrow.
December 27
I cannot believe this. I can honestly say that this has been the worst holiday season I had to live through. And it's not only on those grounds.
I didn't want to admit it. But I DO like Remy. Okay, a lot. Ritzy was right, though I'm going into denial again. Well, at least I wrote it down so my denying won't be in the way of the truth.
But you know what? I don't think it's anymore than to deal with me. Because ever since Jean stepped through the front door, I knew schiesse like this would turn up. It always does.
It's three o' clock, right, and I'm sitting in the main room on the couch, while everyone's opening their gifts and talking loudly in the foyer. I gave Kitty Peter's gift and told her it was from a Secret Santa. She opened it and now will not leave me alone as to find out who gave it to her. I also gave her the pink envelope which stole her attention for a second. She wouldn't let me go into the room at first, but then came out with this gigantic smile on her face and actually skipped down the steps. She was that giddy.
Mais (Well), so that took like an hour, and I hadn't seen Jean or Remy yet, nor want to care, until they suddenly appear in the foyer. Everyone turns towards them and the room gets semi-silent, until Jean announces something and it gets really, really quiet. I came into the foyer where everyone was and heard "...married!!!" Then Xavier coughed, Logan choked, Scott teared up, and Ororo screamed, "WHAT??!!"
Of course, it turns out Remy proposed (shocking as it is) to Jean just now to marry him and she apparently said yes.
I myself felt my heart stop beating. Literally. I felt like slapping one of them for making such stupid decisions, especially Remy. How could he think this lover of history flicks, pink, velvet and beauty, and physics match with him?? HOW?? But then again, who would he replace Jean who is embedded in his heart?
Certainly not me.
So finally Kurt breaks the silence by fainting and everyone rushes towards him. I, recooperating from the matter, stay far away so no one could see me, and hurried up the stairs. Ran down the hallway, slammed the door, and threw myself on my bed. It saddens me that love could blind so many people. And the truth is, I'm sad that it has also blinded me. This truly is a lonely Christmas.
Blue Eyes Blue (Eric Clapton)
I thought that you would be loving me.
I thought that you were the one who'd stay
forever.
But now, forever's come and gone
And I'm still here alone.
You were only playing.
You were only playing with my heart.
I was never waiting.
I was never waiting for the tears to start.
{chorus}
It was you who put the clouds around me.
It was you who made the tears fall down.
It was you who broke my heart in pieces.
It was you who made my blue eyes blue.
Who Oh - Never should have trusted you.
I thought that I'd be all you need.
In your eyes, I thought I saw my heaven.
And now my heaven's gone away
And I'm out in the cold.
You had me believing.
You had me believing in a lie.
Guess I couldn't see it.
Guess I couldn't see it 'till I saw the light.
{chorus}
_______________________________
* sheila - Austrailan slang for 'girl'
**capo - French for coward
That concludes the first book. Sad isn't it how things always turn out for Rogue? Keep checking Fanfiction.Net for the "exciting" conclusion : Snow in April ~ A Wedding Story featuring Rogue's Diary once more. Until the New Year's...good bye and Happy Holidays!!
Xavier's mad at me for turning on the thermostat for the entire mansion. Well, it is cold.
December 12
Mail came in today. Jubilation wrote, just like she promised. She said:
Dearest Rogue,
How is everything at the mansion? Is it lonelier now that everyone's gone?
How about everyone still there? I wonder how Mr. McCoy is holding up. You should
go visit him in his room. He counts things because he's bored (though he hates to admit it).
And how about Remy? I heard he wasn't going back to New Orleans or to Magneto for the Holidays.
Send him my regards. Oh and I'm sending over gifts. You'll get them by Christmas, to ensure that
you guys don't open them yet *wink*.
I'll write more later.
Jubes
She had it all typed and nice on this Tarepanda paper with real mistletoe inside the envelope (with a letter stating to hang it over the foyer). I'll go hang it now.
December 13
This morning, Logan took us tree-hunting. Xavier said he'd stay behind and watch the mansion (like it'd go anywhere). But he insisted, and we didn't feel like dragging him there, so we left him.
There's this really nice forest behind the mansion's lot - no one comes in or out of it since people thought they saw Bigfoot roam around, although we know it wasn't Bigfoot- just Mr. McCoy. So anyway, we found this gigantic hemlock - perfect for the main room, and Logan clawed it just midway through its stump, when we heard this diabolicle laughter from behind. No, it wasn't Pietro, but Pyro, with Colussus by his side.
"G'day mates!" Pyro called, and I saw Remy slap a hand to his face. Logan, growling, shone his claws to them.
"If I were you, I'd stay away," he hissed, but Pyro took a step forward anyway.
"Aw, Gambit, not too happy to see us, eh?" he asked. Remy opened his mouth to speak, but Pyro held up a hand. "I mean, it's the season for friends, and we aren't in the mood for fighting, so how 'bout coming back to Magneto's for some egg nog?" Remy stared at him blankly.
"Sorry, mon ami, I have dues," he said. Pyro shrugged, then turned to go. Logan, seeing no fight needed, turned back to his tree. Colussus, apparently in the middle of all of this, suddenly made a mad dash toward Logan. Remy yelled, and I screamed and Logan turned around just in time to see Colussus plow into him. There was this deafening crack, but it wasn't Logan who did - it was the tree.
"Timber!" I heard Colussus yell, and we all ducked from the pines and seeds which rained through the air. When everything finally settled, Colussus told us he'd help carry the tree back to the mansion. Pyro, seeing that he was being nice, joined us once again. As for Logan, well, he wasn't too happy about the uneventful turn around.
"Naw, we got it here, bub," he told Colussus, hoping they'd go away. I thought it was mean and piped in, "Now, wait just a minute, Logan." Everyone looked at me like they hadn't noticed me before. "Colussus did us some good. You hafta admit, too Logan, that without him, your claws would be bent solid."
Logan growled but nodded. "I see your point, stripes," then frowned once again, "but what if they just want to get into the mansion to steal things?"
"Aw, now understand, mate," Pyro said, "Magneto has no point to invade you all, or he'd do it already. Anyway, he told us that we have the holiday off. Now," he rubbed his hands, "can we be off?"
So, right now, Remy's cooking for them and they're calling me down. I better go, I don't want Pyro to break anything whilst trying to entertain himself from boredom.
December 14
They're staying in the guest rooms right now. Pyro and Colussus --ergh, John and Peter, I mean. We stayed up until one in the morning just talking and playing cards.
"Remy, here," John said, chewing on some gingerbread and laying down his cards, "is the best at this dern game. He beats us all off our rockers good."
"Oui," Remy commented, laying his cards down. A royal flush. He had won.
"Again," John said, throwing his cards down and then smiling. Then he looked at me with a cocked eye. "You the girl he left us for?"
I rose my eyebrows and heard Remy choke on his gingerbread. I hit his back while Peter gave him soda.
"Drink," he ordered, as Remy downed it.
Pyro chuckled. "Is that a yes?"
"No," I put in. John stopped chuckling and looked away.
There was some more talk about the fire and the snow and then Peter said he'd get more cookies and disappeared into the kitchen. I raised an eyebrow and John noticed.
"Don't take it personally, sheila*," he said, patting my shoulder, "he's quiet like that. He's the type that listens and never talks."
"Oh," I said, and saw John burst a grin. He answered before I could even ask what it was for.
"He likes your comrade," he said all cutesy. "That one with the ponytail..."
"Kitty?!" I said in disbelief. Ga lee (wow). Remy looked away with a small smile on his face.
"Yeah. I mean, he never says anything, but you could tell," John said, nudging Remy's arm. He nodded and looked up to see Peter come back with cookies lined neatly on the tray before him.
"Were you talking about me?" he asked John innocent enough. John laid his arm on Peter's shoulder.
"Always, mate, always."
They talked some more before we all turned in for the night. I am still in utter disbelief until today. How could someone that bulky and quiet fall for someone so annoying and ebullient?
Love is strange sometimes.
December 15
We went shopping today. With them. St. John borrowed Scott's clothes (since he didn't feel like going back to Magneto's for his own) while Mr. McCoy lent Peter his black coat. The mall isn't that far away - but nobody felt like walking so we took the X jeep for the ride. It was fun too, until John got a bit frenzy and started to yell, so Remy had to threathen him with a lighted card. John had to shut up since he didn't bring along his flame box or whatever that supplies his fire.
When we got there, we separated into two groups: Remy with John and Peter with me. We planned to meet at the food court at four and John immediately dragged Remy into Structure. I took Peter for an Orange Julius and then around the clothing stores. He finally purchased this snazy Edward Scissorhands' top with zippers to expand when he needed to. He was extremely quiet until I brought up the subject of buying something for anyone special. Then he looked over at me with this, how you know? look and I just smiled innocently.
"What are you talking about?" he asked. I then led him into Caprice, a glass gift store, and told him just to look around. He spent like a hour looking at all the glass sparkling (there's a lot too) and the glass-blown flowers.
"That one," he suddenly spoke. I came to his side and grinned at what he had picked: a cat playing with flowers. He has really romantic taste (like Kurt not to mention). We bought it and went to the food court where John and Remy sat at a nearby table.
"That's twenty-one of them," John said, stuffing paper into his wallet.
"Twenty-one of what?" I asked as we slid in next to them.
"Phone numbers of sheilas," John winked. "I'd ask yours, but Remy already gave me it."
l looked over at Remy who just smiled. "I didn't think you'd want him t' ask, chere," he said.
We ordered pizza (which surprisingly Peter didn't know what it was) and finally left. Peter said he wanted to walk back so I told Remy to take John back with him in the X jeep - I didn't want Peter to get lost. Remy gave me this discerning look and finally complied.
Peter and I walked about a block or two before he started talking. "This reminds me of Russia," he said all dreamingly. I smiled, and he spoke up again. "You're nice, Rogue. I can see why Remy likes you."
I can't believe it. I mean, I liked it and all, but it wasn't the truth. Or at least, I don't think it is. I explained that Remy had Jean as his girlfriend and Peter grinned.
"I never heard him talk about Jean like he talk about you."
"He talks about me?"
"Why not?" Peter asked. By then, we had reached the mansion. We walked the stretch between the gate and the actual building before Peter spoke up again.
"And how do you know I like her?" Her meaning Kitty.
"So you do?"
"I asted you first, my dear," he said, and I smiled.
"John said you did. Is it true?" He paused.
"I -- don't know." Ga lee. It is true!! What will Kitty say? What will Lance say?? Should I say anything though?
I don't think so. Peter should keep thinking I'm nice.
December 16
They left. Said that Magneto would let them out again on Christmas day. No freedom? Certain dismissed days? What is this? Severance pay?
But I could say this much: all this visiting makes me think twice if they are really evil.
December 17
Mail. One for me, from Jean. It read:
Dearest Rogue,
How's everything going? How's Remy? I hope he got better, he was coughing so much last time I saw him...
I really wished I could stay. I mean, what's Christmas without your friends? But then, I have to think twice
because I do have family. Kisses to Xavier, Mr. McCoy and more for Remy.
I want a full report when I get back!!
Love, Jean
The never ending cycle of use Rogue over and over again.
December 18
The brotherhood came over. With gifts. I am not kidding.
Lance, Todd, Fred, and even Pietro. They all came over - but I think it's because they want free food. No matter. Xavier can afford it. But we had our doubts on whether they could stay - I mean, what would Logan say? But we had no worries - they said they weren't looking forward to a stay.
"Just gifts," Pietro said all rushy and gave me five bag fulls of gifts since I opened the door for them.
"Well, we're decorating the tree. Would you like --" and before I could even finish my sentence, they all rushed in. Then they came into the main room, saw Remy and stopped in their tracks.
"What's he doing here, yo?" Todd asked, his pale face paling even more.
"He lives here, doofus," I said, as Remy joined my side.
"What?!" they all said at once. I laughed.
"I won't hurt you, mon ami," Remy said, handing them popcorn to string. They looked at it dauntingly. "Go ahead, no poison or anything, capos**," he said, laughing with me. They did as they were told.
"So what made you come here, yo?" asked Todd, taking out the star and hopping to the top branch. He placed it on and hopped back down.
"De women," Remy winked at me and moved the ladder closer to the tree.
"I would too but I'm too impatient," Pietro said. Lance agreed.
"I think we all would -- Fred stop eating the popcorn." Remy grinned and I hate to admit it, but I felt my heart flutter as the memory of Peter's words returned to my head. It wasn't until Lance threw a decoration at me that I came back to earth.
"Hello? Didn't you hear anything I said?" he asked me irritably. I rubbed where he had hit me and asked what. "The cookies! When are going to make them?"
"To hang?" I asked, oblivious.
"No," Fred said, "to eat!"
So then we entered the kitchen. Mr. McCoy was already there, the silverware drawer overturned and forks and spoons covering the counter. Everyone was in shock, especially Mr. McCoy. He jumped into a panic and started throwing spoons into the drawer and stuffed it sloppily back into its proper place. We stared at each other before he said, "Excuse me." and left the kitchen. We agreed amongst ourselves to keep it between us, and took out the cookie dough. Shaped it, cut it, baked it, and finally ate it while watching a special of Smallville.
"That's whack, yo. Everyone who knows Clark Kent's secret has to die. It's like an unwritten rule, yo," Todd said, and we had to agree. By then it was already six and they had to leave since Logan was coming to check on us.
"Say a Happy Holidays to everyone," Pietro said, and they all went after him. Except for Lance. He stayed until they were far away from him, and then handed me an envelope.
"Give this to Kitty for me," he said. I took it. It was pink with a small bow on the corner. A bell rung from the middle of it. Then he walked down as if he had given me nothing and that was it.
I want to open it, though I already know what it is. Poems. It's really stuffed, that I can say. But I wanna read them! Remy says just to leave it under the tree so I'm not tempted. Ergh, what I hafta face...
December 19
No visitors today. I can't write much since the power suddenly went out and it's getting dark. I'll go buy candles tomorrow.
December 20
Today, I went to visit Mr. McCoy in his room. He has a lot of gadgets in there, that's for sure. He confines himself for the boredom and the way he looks. Jubes was right - he was lonely.
"Mr. McCoy?" I asked, opening the door.
"Rogue? That you? Come in!" he said, cheerfully. I entered, and he noticed the wrapped box I was holding. "That something that needs to be opened?"
"Actually," I said, holding it out to him, "it's for you."
He smiled to himself and took it. His blue hands traced it longingly. "Thank you, Rogue," he said, putting it aside. I looked around, as he jumped off the table he was sitting on.
"You work here all day?" I asked. He chuckled slightly.
"No, no, Miss Rogue. You don't exactly believe that do you?"
"I wouldn't -- that is, if you like me to believe..."
"Why would I think that? You have a mind of your own." No. I don't not anymore. Not since..well, you know. HE came along. And brought havoc upon me.
I think Mr. McCoy saw me drift and said, "Well, Rogue. I see you're in your own world again..."
"Sorry," I apologized and gave a small smirk. Then I pulled out the mail I had taken. "This one's for you," I told him, giving it to him. He read the writing scribbled on it.
"Jubilee," he mumbled, and sat on the counter, opening it. I noticed he opened it solid straight - not like when I do, all crinkled and torn.
"Dear Mr. McCoy," he read aloud, "I hope everything is doing fine. My hope to Xavier that things are well..." he read ahead to himself and smiled. "Thank you Rogue," he said, and hopped off the table. Then he opened the door and smiled at me. "I'm sorry to cut this on a short notice," he said, and then I heard my name being called. "But as you can hear, someone is calling you."
I said my good-bye and walked up to the foyer to find Ritzy standing there.
"Where'd you come from? And how'd you get in?" I asked, and then heard, "I let her in."
Remy. I saw Ritzy smirk as he appeared behind me. "I thought I'd come over to see how everything is doing. It's great to see you again, Remy," she said and smiled. Remy nodded his head to be polite and grabbed his coat.
"I's be off," he said.
"Where?" I asked. It was still light outside, and I highly doubted he was going to do "business" with his fellow gamblers. He only smirked in response and let the door close behind him.
"So," Ritzy said, taking a step forward. I frowned my best.
"No Ritzy. I don't like him," I said, and turned around.
"You're in denial," she commented, and followed me into the main room. I heard her gasp in sight of the tree.
"The brotherhood came over yesterday," I told her. She gave me an unsure look, though I knew she's heard of them before. "Did they give you any trouble?" she asked. I hummed, hanging up the stringed popcorn the Boys strung yesterday.
"Nope," I said with a popping noise, and turned around to see Ritzy hold a wrapped box in her hands.
"Now, Rogue," she said, thrusting it into my arms, "it's for Christmas. I don't want..."
"Ritzy, I know," I said, rolling my eyes and putting it under the tree, "so stop acting like my mother." She then gave me this parsimonious look and I brushed a sideways look at her.
"I have to go," she muttered, stepping over the decorations. I followed.
"What? So soon?" She didn't answer - just slammed the door behind her. I wonder why she was so hurt. But then Mr. McCoy invited me into the kitchen to pick up some egg nog and let me return to my room. Which is where I am now.
December 21, 10:30 pm
I found Remy sleeping on the floor by the tree today when I got home from shopping. He had finished decorating the tree - it just wasn't lit because the power was out. I nudged Remy, knowing that he wouldn't budge.
"Rem, get up," I crooned. Then when he didn't respond, I ran up the steps, grabbed a few pillows and blanket from his room and rushed down again. Knew I couldn't pull him up - it would take too much strength. So I threw the blanket around him, the pillows under his head, pulled off his boots, and left him to sleep. He didn't move all the while I was bustling about him. Dude. I hope he's happy.
December 22
Remy made me go walking with him today. It was already dark when we left the mansion, but still, with the snow falling and the air tight with spice, it was worth it. The first two blocks we were silent. I noticed that the street lamps were out of power too, and what a pity. Then Remy spoke up.
"Thank you," he said, giving me a quick look. I burrowed my brow.
"For what?"
"For making me sleep com'torble." He grinned and lighted a cigarette. I watched, amused. Remy gave me another quick glance and put it out.
"I write, you know," he said, stiffening. "To Jean. She likes it." She also likes to check up on you, I wanted to say. But didn't. Remy noticed my silence.
"You always dis mysterious, Rogue?" His question was beckoning. I let out a quivering breath.
"Yes, Rem. Always," I answered. I hesiatated and brought up Kurt. "You did it, didn't you. The date for Kurt..Amanda."
He smirked, his lips tightening. "Yeah."
"He wanted it from the start," I said, catching my breath. "That's why he was your "slave". He owed you...to make the perfect night."
"Arranged t' teleport from Germany t' pick up Amanda and bring her here. He's very...organized..." Then Remy turned to me, reached out, and put his hands on my arms. My heart fluttered again. Then he pulled them away and took out something black, like two switches. Pulled them both down and suddenly, as if my magic, the lamp posts flickered on. Soon, the whole street filled with light, and I turned to Remy, speechless. But he had already turned away.
"Merry Christmas, Rogue," he said, and walked away. His voice was reluctant and I knew why. Jean. It's always about Jean. But, okay. Review what just happened here. He turned off a whole city for two days. For me. That's gotta tell you something, right? RIGHT??
December 23
I delivered gifts to the Brotherhood: Fred a tray for food, Pietro running shoes, Lance a pen and paper to write more to Kitty, and shampoo for Todd (though I don't think he'll use it). Wrapped and delivered them. They asked where Remy was since he didn't come with me. Actually, I haven't seen him all day. And I do kinda miss him.
December 24
It's all over the news how the power suddenly turned on for all of Bayville yesterday and today. I don't think Remy even knows - he's not here today either.
9:13 pm
Ritzy came over again. She apologized for walking out and I said I shouldn't have said it in the first place. Then she accepted my gift - I gave her two crematic doves symbolizing friendship, like from the Home Alone II movie. Only these I bought at Anderson's Gift Counsel. Jubilation's gifts came today. Put them under the tree and admired it for a bit. It was kinda dazzling, the way I had seen it. The lights were finally on, the fire was bright, and since Ritzy left, it's been the loneliest Christmas ever.
December 25 ~ Christmas Day
I had woken up early -- 2 a.m. to be exact. Watched the snow quietly fall for awhile until someone knocked on my door. Cursing a bit, I got down from my perch on the window sill and stalked off toward the door. To my surprise, Xavier was waiting on the other end. He held up his hand before I could say a thing, and lifted a package from his lap.
"Merry Christmas, Rogue," he said warmly as I accepted the gift, "breakfast is at eight this morning." Then he zoomed off in that wheelchair of his, skidding a bit on the cold, carpeted path. I slammed the door and hurried into the center of my room, unwrapping it, I daresay, most selfishly. I was acting quite childish, but I knew it was worth it when all the tape and tight wrapping was torn away, and all that was left was a box that said "Third Street" on the cover. Slowly, I tore the tape around it and lifted the cover. Smiling, I pulled out the prettiest dress that I had ever had to admit pretty which wasn't black. It had white trimmings on red velvet and when I tried it out, it was perfect both length and size. I felt like Cinderella when she put on the drab of pink that those mice made while singing and pulling strings and scissors...
Only Xavier gave it to me. Well, I had no shoes to go with it, until I remembered those red ones Jean left behind. I actually had a reason to wear them. I bet Xavier planned all this with Jean - but I was too excited to think about it. The only thought I had was how would Remy react when he saw me. That flooded my mind. Really.
Logan was waiting downstairs already. He was eating his daily eggs while standing up and leaning against the wall by the kitchen door. I never did think he liked eating with the others anyway.
"Well, you clean up well," he commented, and I blushed. Then I noticed he was tacted into some kind of suit under his long coat.
"I see you're going somewhere," I mused. He stopped eating and looked down as if he never knew he was dressed like that.
"Yeah. Ororo invited me over to her sister's house," he said, and there stopped his explanation, for at the door was knock, and behind the door was St. John and Peter - carrying gifts.
"Rogue!" John said, lifting up the bags to show the contents, "I hope we aren't a bothering you at the moment..."
"Naw," I said, taking the bags and leading them in. "Remy's not here, but I think you can make yourselves comfortable without..." At that moment, Logan came in, and I saw John's eyebrows shoot up.
"We-hehell," he sang while Peter showed the same stone face he appeared with. Logan growled and walked out the door.
We past the time exchanging gifts and passing around cookies. John was a clammer while Peter just sat there, nibbling a little as he listened to our talk.
It was a pity we had to start eating without Remy. Xavier had put out this whole feast and there was only the five of us to eat it. The whole while, John kept trying to fling his food at Peter to see what he would do, but Xavier would always stop him. Finally, we all gathered in the main room to open gifts. Xavier went first. A sweater from Hank, a sweater from me. He seemed to like both, although they were the same drab he always wears. I just got it for him so he could change into it when he sleeps. Then Hank opened his gifts: I gave him a calculator and Xavier a new lab set. He was giddy about both. Next, John opened his: a brain teaser book so that he'll have something to do when he gets bored from me, and a pair of goggles from Peter.
"Cos you melted the others," Peter explained. Peter opened his afterwards: Cookies from John ("You like them so" John said) and a picture frame from me. "I'll get a picture of her later," I whispered. Peter shook his head smiling and thanked me.
Then I opened my presents. Jubilee gave me gothic cuffs, John flowers in holiday colors, Peter a necklace with a rose in the middle of a glass heart (from Caprice), Ritzy the whole Adam Sandler collection of DVDs to watch on a random rainy day, and a small replica of me to hang on the tree from Mr. McCoy.
Suddenly from behind, I heard someone draw in their breath, and I (actually everyone) turned around to see Remy. All eyes were on him and his wet trench coat with snow still on his shoulders as he strode into the room. Although I haven't seen him in the longest time, he was well groomed and wore the same black turtleneck I had seen him in with Ritzy.
"Well, it's about time," John said, getting up and hugging Remy. He retreated instantly, his front damp with water. "Perfect," he said, grinning.
"Maudit snow," Remy said, and then his eyes locked with mine. I quickly turned away, but felt myself going red. Xavier broke the silence, asking if anyone wanted apple cider. Peter suddenly pointed to the clock and John jumped into a frenzy.
"Eight o'clock already?!" he looked at our appalled faces and gave a reassuring smile. "Magneto wants us back by now." They headed to the door with their gifts and told Remy to come visit some time. Then they left and the room filled with irritating silence.
"Well, Hank, you could come help me with the cider," Xavier said, rolling from the foyer. Mr. McCoy rolled his eyes at me, and then to Remy, and finally he walked away without a word. So we stood there, awakward as it was, until I remembered Remy's gift. I told him to wait here as I jumped off the steps and took up the presents, stuffing them into his wet coat. When I held it out to him, he gave me a face as if he thought I was joking.
"This is my trench coat," Remy said, raising an eyebrow. I smiled.
"Put it on," I told him. He looked at me doubtfully and finally complied.
"It seems heavier.." he reached into one of his inside pockets and pulled out a bottle of wine. "What the--?" he grinned, feeling each pocket. Then he pulled out cards, a pocket knife, and a pack of cigarettes.
"My...favorite things..." he stammered, and grinned at me. I never thought of seeing that famous trademark of his again. Then he pulled me into a hug and for a second I thought he wasn't going to let go, until Xavier came in and I pushed myself away from Remy. Of course I left afterwards, not too thrilled in having to spend any more time with Xavier or Mr. McCoy or even Remy. I said my good-byes and went upstairs. There's the soft sound of Christmas music panging from the lower level right now, and not to mention Remy's playing on his guitar - I can hear him from inside my room.
December 26
The Brotherhood each gave me gloves. The others return tomorrow.
December 27
I cannot believe this. I can honestly say that this has been the worst holiday season I had to live through. And it's not only on those grounds.
I didn't want to admit it. But I DO like Remy. Okay, a lot. Ritzy was right, though I'm going into denial again. Well, at least I wrote it down so my denying won't be in the way of the truth.
But you know what? I don't think it's anymore than to deal with me. Because ever since Jean stepped through the front door, I knew schiesse like this would turn up. It always does.
It's three o' clock, right, and I'm sitting in the main room on the couch, while everyone's opening their gifts and talking loudly in the foyer. I gave Kitty Peter's gift and told her it was from a Secret Santa. She opened it and now will not leave me alone as to find out who gave it to her. I also gave her the pink envelope which stole her attention for a second. She wouldn't let me go into the room at first, but then came out with this gigantic smile on her face and actually skipped down the steps. She was that giddy.
Mais (Well), so that took like an hour, and I hadn't seen Jean or Remy yet, nor want to care, until they suddenly appear in the foyer. Everyone turns towards them and the room gets semi-silent, until Jean announces something and it gets really, really quiet. I came into the foyer where everyone was and heard "...married!!!" Then Xavier coughed, Logan choked, Scott teared up, and Ororo screamed, "WHAT??!!"
Of course, it turns out Remy proposed (shocking as it is) to Jean just now to marry him and she apparently said yes.
I myself felt my heart stop beating. Literally. I felt like slapping one of them for making such stupid decisions, especially Remy. How could he think this lover of history flicks, pink, velvet and beauty, and physics match with him?? HOW?? But then again, who would he replace Jean who is embedded in his heart?
Certainly not me.
So finally Kurt breaks the silence by fainting and everyone rushes towards him. I, recooperating from the matter, stay far away so no one could see me, and hurried up the stairs. Ran down the hallway, slammed the door, and threw myself on my bed. It saddens me that love could blind so many people. And the truth is, I'm sad that it has also blinded me. This truly is a lonely Christmas.
Blue Eyes Blue (Eric Clapton)
I thought that you would be loving me.
I thought that you were the one who'd stay
forever.
But now, forever's come and gone
And I'm still here alone.
You were only playing.
You were only playing with my heart.
I was never waiting.
I was never waiting for the tears to start.
{chorus}
It was you who put the clouds around me.
It was you who made the tears fall down.
It was you who broke my heart in pieces.
It was you who made my blue eyes blue.
Who Oh - Never should have trusted you.
I thought that I'd be all you need.
In your eyes, I thought I saw my heaven.
And now my heaven's gone away
And I'm out in the cold.
You had me believing.
You had me believing in a lie.
Guess I couldn't see it.
Guess I couldn't see it 'till I saw the light.
{chorus}
_______________________________
* sheila - Austrailan slang for 'girl'
**capo - French for coward
That concludes the first book. Sad isn't it how things always turn out for Rogue? Keep checking Fanfiction.Net for the "exciting" conclusion : Snow in April ~ A Wedding Story featuring Rogue's Diary once more. Until the New Year's...good bye and Happy Holidays!!