Hello, everyone! Welcome to my newest little project, A Question of Arrangement! This is a Hetalia fanfiction held in the Cardverse Universe, and it should be somewhere between 10 and 15 chapters long. The main pairings are GerIta, USUK, France/Liechtenstein, and one-sided Japan/Germany.

I noticed that 87% of Cardverse fics revolve around USUK, and while i ADORE the pairing, I think it's time somebody else got a share of the royal spotlight, right? So, this is a Japan-based Cardverse fic. USUK will happen, but it won't be the main plot. Okay, that's all. I really hope you guys enjoy this, because I'm kind of doing it on a whim and I'm not sure if I'll keep going with it.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Hetalia. I just like it A LOT. Enjoy!

~Elsi

Chapter 1: The Joker

Kiku was sitting in the garden, eyes closed and body relaxed, when he finally heard his father moving in the house. Slowly, he allowed himself to wake up, letting in the sunlight and the lovely view of their traditional Far East garden. Kiku got to his feet, gathering his casual robe tighter around his waist, and left the tranquility of the lily pond in favor of joining his father in their small kitchen.

"Good morning, Father," said Kiku, giving a small incline of his head to the Eastern man. "I have already completed my chores, and I took it upon myself to clean out the lily pond as well. I will admit that I have not begun breakfast, as I woke up too early to consider cooking without it getting cold, but I will – "

"Kiku," said his father, cutting Kiku short. "I will prepare breakfast. As you are meeting with the Joker today, I think you deserve time to get ready yourself."

"Thank you, Father," said Kiku, uncertainly. He recoiled to his room, staring down at the outfit he had laid out upon his bed. It was all very proper for the Kingdom of Hearts: white tunic with ruffles on the sleeves and around the collar, pale rose pinstriped vest, black pants, and red cloak clasped asymmetrically by a fluffy red rose, tall black boots. This was exactly what he should wear were he to serve the Kingdom of Hearts efficiently. That was what the Joker would want to see – his willingness to serve the Kingdom that had taken him and his father in after civil war in the Far East had forced them to flee.

Was he willing to serve the Kingdom of Hearts? Of course. It was his home – though he had been raised in a province of the now-divided Far East, it had never given him any refuge. To Kiku, the Far East remained a blur of death and gore. Here, in Hearts, there was true peace.

Taking the culturally acceptable route had not always been easy for Kiku, but today, it was important. This was why he wouldn't wear his normal attire: long robes of grey or red or brown that he would have worn back in the Far East. He may love Hearts, but the Far East was his country of origin, and Kiku was bound to follow its traditions just as his father had raised him to do. But for something as monumental as a meeting with the Joker, Kiku would go out of his way to be culturally acceptable. That way, he would feel comfortable in a world that regarded him as one of their own.

He drew a bath and allowed himself to rest in the warm water for several minutes longer than he was accustomed, and Kiku was known for lengthy baths. He stared at his knees, which rested above the water due to the limited space in the bathtub, and then at the pile of clothes resting on the counter. Through the fog, he could make out the small heart-enigma on the bottom of his boots. Yes, this was where he belonged.

Sighing to himself, Kiku let his dark hair drop back into the water until his ears were submerged and the water blocked the sounds of his father preparing breakfast. His largest fear for this visit was that the Joker would take one look at him and deem him not a real citizen of Hearts. It wasn't Kiku's fault that he had been born in the Far East. All he wanted was to fit in to culture, and help the people that he considered his own. Because he owed Hearts everything he now had, and a little racism on the hands of the citizens around him didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. They had accepted him and his father as legal citizens, full members of Hearts. Kiku had heard of those who hadn't experienced such treatment in Clubs or Diamonds.

Eventually, he drew out of the bath and began to dress himself, making sure that each ruffle was in place, and that everything was wrinkle-free. He needed to look his best. Clasping the cloak over his shoulder, Kiku regarded himself in the mirror. With the steam marring his features just so, Kiku could have passed for any other citizen of Hearts. So long as no one actually took a look at his face, he looked just like anyone else.

Somewhat calmed by this thought, Kiku turned away from the mirror and headed out of the steam-filled bathroom. The Jokers were supposed to look at your heart and your head, not your face. And wasn't he a citizen of Hearts on the inside? Well, he did have the Far East traditions that surrounded him, and that was a part of who he was, too. The Jokers would just have to understand that Kiku Honda – or Honda Kiku, as he was have been called in his old life – was a little bit of both.

He ate a traditional Far East breakfast with his father, a luxury that was rare. Ingredients for the wonderful Far East dishes were hard to come by in the Four Kingdoms, but this was, after all, a special day.

Today, Kiku would meet with the legendary Joker, the one thing that the Four Kingdoms shared. You only met the Joker once, when you were twenty years old, and when it was your season. The Joker came to Hearts every fall season, and then he would proceed to Spades, and Clubs, and Diamonds. The Joker's purpose was to maintain the peace between the Four Kingdoms, that peace that meant that while each was independent, they functioned in harmony. His job was to assign others their jobs. He – or she, but Kiku knew that the Joker and his current successor were both men – also determined the monarchs of the Four Kingdoms. This year was the fiftieth year of each monarch's reign, which meant that it was time to select the new monarchs. This was also the fiftieth year that the current Joker had been doing his job, which meant that after the announcement of the new set of monarchs, the position of the Joker would be passed on. It was a fascinating circle of life that Kiku had always found appealing, and that was perhaps why he was so happy in Hearts. His past life in the Far East had been marked with chaos, as there was no real ruler in the lands to the East, just various nation-states vying for power against tribal groups and the occasional outspoken "republic." It was nothing like the order here, in the Four Kingdoms.

Once they had finished breakfast, Kiku's father poured Kiku a steaming cup of tea, which Kiku took happily. A few moments passed in which father and son sat across from each other, sipping tea and enjoying the little things about the room: the way the sunlight splayed across the floor from the lovely glass window, the way they could hear birdsong through the slightly-open back door, the way the tea warmed even the more uncomfortable areas of their bodies. At last, Kiku's father broke the silence.

"Are you ready for this, Kiku?" he asked. "I know you have been practicing your responses to the Joker's questions. Do you feel adequately prepared?"

"I know the layout of each of his sixty-four tests," said Kiku calmly. "I have rehearsed my reactions, should he ask me to perform any of his tasks. I believe myself to be ready."

"Good." Kiku felt that he was at something of a disadvantage, as his father had never met the Joker himself. Every boy and girl in the Kingdom of Hearts was being fed stories about what pleased the Joker and what displeased the Joker, little perceptions passed on from father-to-son or mother-to-daughter that could determine his or her fate. Kiku's father had no such stories to recount. Apart from the exercises at school, which were few and far between, Kiku's Joker-related research had been conducted through the books he found at their elaborate town library.

It seemed too soon that the tea cup sat empty on the table. Kiku's father clasped his dark violet cloak over his long salmon robes, which appeared somehow Eastern and from Hearts at the same time.

"Have a good day at work, Father," said Kiku, and his father gave a little bow.

"I wish you luck in your meeting with the Joker, Kiku," said his father. "No matter the outcome, I am very proud of what you have become. And I am sure that your mother would feel the same way, were she alive."

Kiku was surprised by the words, and was so disarmed that he could not formulate a reply before his father had left. Then he was left in the lingering embrace of a kind sentiment, with an empty tea cup and sixty-four tests that were beginning to blur together in his nerve-wracked mind.

XXXX

Kiku was fifteen minutes early for his appointment with the Joker, and had been ushered in by an attendant to a cursed wait on the soft cushions in the surprisingly dark waiting room. The Joker had a home in each of the Four Kingdoms, and this one was the dark crimson Kiku would have expected from Hearts. There were red candles burning in all four corners of the room, but the dark walls swallowed up the light, leaving him in an odd state of semi-darkness. There he was condemned to sitting on the cushions, watching as attendants flickered in and out of rooms in sheer oblivion of his presence.

He spent those fifteen minutes trying to calm his entire body as he had managed to do in the lily garden that morning, but all of his muscles were stiff. Kiku wished that he had brought tea with him. Because that wasn't happening, he tried to pass the time by going over the sixty-four tests in his head. If the Joker asked him to play cards with him, he was looking for caution. If the Joker asked him to paint, he was looking for creativity. If the Joker asked him to list a classic recipe, he was looking for balance.

At last, a door opened, and one of the attendants poked her head out of a side room.

"Mister Honda?" she inquired. "The Joker will see you now."

Kiku nodded blankly, getting to his feet and folding his hands together in order to follow her through a series of narrow hallways. He could feel his heart pounding underneath the ruffled tunic, but he tried his best to ignore it. The Joker would see Kiku for who Kiku really was. That was what the Joker did best, after all.

He suddenly found himself standing in a surprisingly small room, and there were two men seated in chairs upon a slight rise. Kiku looked up at them, and he could have sworn that the room spun a little bit around him when the door closed, secluding him in the room with them.

The older-looking man appeared to be the age of Kiku's father, but from his research on the Jokers, Kiku knew that he was supposedly much older. He had dark brown hair and visible stubble around his chin, and he was dressed in black and red and white, as Jokers always did in Hearts. His assistant, for that was who Kiku knew this man was, had the palest white hair that Kiku had ever seen, and a strange set of scarlet-violet eyes. Both held their faces blank, but when the Joker rose and approached, Kiku felt his trepidation fade. Under the traditional Joker makeup - a series of black and white shapes and the occasionally crimson heart – Kiku could make out a smile and a pair of brown eyes that sparkled with playful might.

"Your name is Kiku Honda, yes?" asked the Joker in a perpetually laughing tone. "My name is Rome. I'm the Joker, but I will assume you knew that already." He laughed, tilting his head back. "Oh, it is very good to meet you. Are you from the Far East? You look like you're from the Far East."

Kiku gave a sharp nod of his head, unable to make words form.

"Oh, I visited the Far East once. Lovely place, lovely place. Not so nice these days, though, oh, no. So what brings you to the Kingdom of Hearts, Kiku?"

"I came here with my father as a young boy," said Kiku after several moments, in which the Joker just blinked enthusiastically at him. He wasn't sure what to make of the Joker, with all of his bubbly energy and rhythmic, lilting voice.

"Oh, so you've lived here a long time, then?" said the Joker – Rome, his name was Rome. "That's excellent, it's quite wonderful here. The women are pretty – or so I've been told, at least. Not that this job gives me much room to see for myself, ha! But that is nothing to talk about now, we are here to talk about you, aren't we Kiku!" To Kiku's discomfort, Rome swung an arm jovially around Kiku's shoulder. At once, Kiku felt him stiffen – if Rome noticed, though, he didn't show it. "Hey, Gilbert! You seem awfully quiet today. Want to say hello to our new friend?"

The next Joker, whose name was apparently Gilbert, descended from his chair, too. He seemed to be smiling, too, although his smile was far tighter than Rome's loose, carefree grin. Those reddish eyes loomed out from underneath the face paint, and Gilbert came to stop before Kiku with his arms crossed.
"No need to look so nervous," Gilbert said in a grating voice. "Nervousness is so un-awesome, and we're here to see how awesome you are."

"Precisely!" declared Rome loudly in Kiku's ear. Rome stepped away from Kiku, much to Kiku's relief, and beamed at him. "What's first, Gil? I've…ah…forgot what we're doing now."

Gilbert snickered, and Kiku made himself not take a step back. This wasn't what he had expected at all…

"Well, I'm sure you've heard all the rumors," said Rome. "I hate the rumors, they're so stupid. People prepare for these little meetings, and it's supposed to be an evaluation of your genuine character. So please be honest with us, Kiku. We love it when people are honest. If you're honest, we can put you where you belong!" Rome's grin was so large that Kiku had to incline his head in agreement. Okay, honesty. He could do honesty, right?

"We're going to do a drawing first," said Gilbert, consulting a list he apparently had written in makeup on his arm. "I know that seems like little kid stuff, but it's the most awesome fun little kid stuff you could be doing." He put his hands on his hips and beamed.

"Plus, we're all going to be drawing together!" declared Rome emphatically. "Doesn't that sound fantastic, Kiku? Drawing and painting has always been one of my talents." He winked and hurried off.

Kiku watched Rome go, reluctant to be here all of a sudden. He felt as though he was being mocked somehow. Was this really the Joker's trial? Kiku had been expecting someone strong, firm, and very good at reading people. Rome acted like a kid, and Gilbert his teenage babysitter.

The Joker was back in a moment, happily handing a pad of paper off to Kiku. Kiku accepted it with a small bow of his head, knowing that he had to be respectful.

"Look, some fruit!" said Rome excitedly, indicating to a pedestal Kiku hadn't even noticed. "Let's draw the fruit, Kiku!"

Kiku sat down when Gilbert pointed at a cushioned chair and set his eyes on the fruit. He was supposed to go for vibrancy. He was meant to interpret what he was seeing and make it…bigger and brighter.

As they sat down to draw, Gilbert began to make conversation. Kiku wasn't quite expecting it, but at this point, he had no idea what to expect.

"So, you're from the Far East, but you dress like you've always lived in Hearts," said Gilbert. "That just you, or is that some un-awesome neighbors?" He tittered a little bit as if he had just made a hilarious joke.

"I do not wish to offend with traditional Eastern garments, but I do often wear them," admitted Kiku. Honesty. He was trying to juggle the honesty thing with the vibrancy in the photos, and it was proving difficult to focus on speaking at all. Kiku didn't normally like to speak unless he had to, especially when he was concentrating on something. "My father raised me to respect the traditions of my ancestors."

"What does he do, your father?" asked Rome, and this question was perhaps the calmest thing he had said yet. Feeling better, Kiku allowed himself to answer quicker than he had before.

"He works in the market," said Kiku. "He helps oversee the legality of merchants' products."

"Ever helped him out?" asked Rome. Kiku understood now where these questions were going. So these tests were really just ways to feel out Kiku's strengths, huh?

"I will look over his notes when it seems appropriate," said Kiku quietly. "It does not hurt me to familiarize myself with laws and commerce."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rome and Gilbert exchange some sort of interested glance.

They chatted all the way through the drawing, and then the arithmetic. Thankfully, Rome and Gilbert seemed to understand that Kiku didn't want to talk when they all did some yoga meditation together.

When Kiku heard Gilbert's loud voice cutting through his peace, he resurfaced from the meditation and stared at the two. Getting used to the Joker and his assistant was made much easier with a little meditation out of the way.

"Now, we don't have much time together left, and we think we've got what we need, so let's drink tea!" Rome clapped his hands twice, and to Kiku's astonishment, a trio of attendants swept into the room with tea cups and a steaming kettle. "I don't know what we'll be drinking – it'll be a fun surprise, don't you think, Kiku? I think so."

"Yes, sir, perhaps it will be," said Kiku in a soft voice. He wasn't sure how to keep replying to Rome's effervescent chatter, but he did know that he liked tea. Quite a lot, actually. The tea was pleasant, a mixture of herbs that Kiku hadn't had before but very much enjoyed. While they drank together, there was more conversation, but Kiku had grown quite used to their questions. Rome and Gilbert wanted to know about Kiku's interests, about his family, about his education. Simple things that made sense, seeing as their job was to pick out his perfect future. And Kiku could answer those questions, especially now that he had tea and was somewhat used to Rome and Gilbert.

By the time the tea was gone, Kiku had launched into a lengthy, enthusiastic speech about how he had always considered getting into politics through the local citizen voice clubs, but had never found an opportunity due to his Eastern appearance getting him odd looks from the lifetime Hearts residents. Rome seemed quite interested in this story, so much so that when a young attendant poked his head in and told Rome that there was the next twenty-year-old to meet as well, Rome waved him away. Kiku, however, didn't know if it was a good idea to hold the legendary Joker up when he had such a busy schedule, and told Rome this. The old Joker just laughed and clapped Kiku on the shoulder.

"If you insist, buddy," said Rome, and Kiku stiffened once more when Rome shook his shoulder amiably. This touching thing…why did it keep happening? "How good to meet you, Kiku, you're a good boy. Don't let anyone get to you out there – the world's a load of bastards with bad food anyways." He laughed loudly, as if he had just made the funniest joke.

Gilbert tittered a little bit, shaking Kiku's other shoulder and making him even more uncomfortable – if that was possible.

"Yeah, they're just being jerks. You're too awesome for them, aren't you?" He laughed again, and Rome laughed with him, and Kiku sort of wished that he could find something funny in the situation so he could laugh as well.

"Well, we will be in touch," said Rome. "We're always in touch – that's what we do! Oh, this fall is going by so fast. It'll be coronation season, soon…"

Something in Rome's words made the atmosphere drop about twenty degrees, and as he made his way out the back door as directed by the attendants, he could have sworn that he saw Rome's face fall, and he could have sworn that he heard Gilbert say something along the lines of "You've had a good run, Rome. You haven't made a mistake yet, and that's how you'll be remembered."

There was something sad about the whole exchange, remembered Kiku, but in the rush of his post-interview adrenaline and the sudden exhaustion that had come from dealing with the Joker and his assistant, he didn't bother to determine exactly what that sad something was.

A few notes:

1) Yes, I got extremely lazy in naming Rome. I wasn't sure if I should call him Julius or Romulus or what, but I decided that Rome was a pretty acceptable name either way, and I went with it.

2) Kiku wouldn't ask people to call him Honda Kiku, even though that's his name. He's so desperate to fit in that he would definitely encourage being called by the "correct" name.

3) I know there's something really offensive in here, and I'm not sure what it is. As the entire premise of the show is offensive, I hope that's not a problem for anyone reading this...

Okay, that's all. Please tell me what you think so I can know to keep going or not! Thanks, everyone!

~Elsi