Hey everyone this is not a cheating story and I would prefer if people didn't review via "guest" . As a response to one "Guest's" review I am a big fifty shades of grey fan and I didn't realise I had to disclose the fact that this is not a cheating story, but I have now put this information in the summary for people who were curious.

Thanks to all the other people reviewing and thanks for all the wonderful compliments about the story. If people start to dislike the story just let me know because there will be no point in me continuingJ thanks again.

Ana's pov

Elena…Elena…Elena… will I tell him she's dead… good god what will I tell him? Will I lie? could I lie? I want to lie…

"Christian you don't talk to Elena anymore… in fact you have spoken to her since we got pregnant on Teddy" I try lighten the conversation with a nicer memory of our son hoping to distract Christian.

"Oh… Why don't I talk to her?" for fuck sake just let it go!

"She said some things that upset me and made you angry so you cut her out of our lives… there's a little bit more to the story then that obviously but we'll talk about that another time… Christian that woman is a hard limit for me… do you understand?" the minute I say the words "hard limit" Christians head swings towards me like a shot, now he knows the nature of our relationship I just hope he doesn't think he married a submissive. I can tell it unnerves him that I know about his old life style and he doesn't know me at all, yet he'll do well to remember that I'm his wife and I won't be spoken too or treated like a sub.

"This conversation isn't over" his voice fades away and I can't help but wish he'd talk to me about how he feels.

We arrive back at our home and I watch intensely to see if his memory is triggered… It doesn't appear so. I get to his bag before he does and I'm not taken by surprise when I feel him behind reaching for the bag. I didn't bother fighting this as I knew I hadn't a chance of winning. There was an electric charge running between me and my husband and I missed wrapping my body and arms around him.

I unlock the door and lead him into the kitchen. I go over to the fridge and take out a bottle of cool crisp white wine. God I need a drink! I pop open the bottle of wine and fill a large glass. I feel Grey eyes on me. He's breath taking , He leans up against the door jamb just like he's at home… he is home. There's a smile playing on his lips and I don't know why.

"Is my wife an alcoholic?" he asks a trace of humour in his voice.

"Eh no why do you ask?" I'd say I look confused.

"Because you came in the door and made a b-line straight for the wine… didn't even offer me any" he looks like he's messing with me… I love playful Christian.

"You can't have wine with sleeping tablets" I state matter of factly to hide the fact that I didn't offer my husband a drink.

"Show's how much you listened to the good doctor I'm off my sleeping tablets since I left the hospital" He smiles lightly and I can tell he's not hurt that I didn't pay attention.

"Oh… well in that case do you want a glass of wine?" I smile back and shake the bottle of wine up beside my head he nod's a yes and I start to fill up his glass too.

I show Christian to our room so he can set his bag down and unpack, what he says surprises me and upsets me.

"Where do you sleep"

"I sleep here with you in our bed" he looks shocked and then looks around at the things in this room that are mine clothes, jewellery, and other little bits. "would you prefer if I slept in the spare room?" as much as it hurts me to ask I know I must to make him feel uncomfortable.

"No its okay" my heart fills with joy and then crashes down again when he says his next sentence "I'll sleep in the spare room"

"No you should sleep here Christian, the doctor said to keep life as normal as possible… you should sleep in the bed you've always slept in okay?" I offer him a weak smile and then gather a few things I'll need for my night in the spare room. A short silk night dress and my long thin silk pale pink robe.

"After you've unpacked your things I'll heat up some of Mrs Taylor's chicken soup for lunch" he nods his head in agreement and I leave him in the room. When I return twenty minutes later. He's not where I left him panic sets in like I've lost a child in a store.

Why did we have to get such a big house, I'll never find him I quickly walk from room to room until I find him in his office staring at the massive portraits of me that hang on the wall. There the pictures that Jose took of me. Laughing, smiling, and pouting. It was one of the happiest times of my life until I met Christian and the image of the lost boy that is my husband staring at these picture's causes a lump to form in my throat. He must sense I'm near as he turns around, I straighten up and smile.

"You look beautiful in these Anastasia" he whispers and then suddenly grabs his desk and bends over in pain, I rush to his side, as he grabs his head in pain.

"Christian whats wrong will I ring the doctor" I start to panic slightly but as I reach for the phone in his office he grabs my hand.

"No its okay… just a sharp headache is all I need to sit down" I help him over to his chair behind his desk and then kneel down to look into his eyes.

"Fucking photographer" he whispers under his breathe. He remembers Jose!

"Christian! You remember Jose. I can't believe it" Happy tears fill my eyes as I stare into the eyes of Christian.

"How could I not remember a man who has been obsessed with getting into my wife's pants for quiet some time if my memory is correct?" he sounds like my Christian again.

"Do you remember anything else?" I hold out hope even though I know my hopes might be dashed in a moment, and they are.

"No… All I remember is the photographer is in love with you and wants in your pants Anastasia"

"Christian Jose is not in love with me and he doesn't want "in my pants" for heaven's sake he's married with four kids now!"

"I don't blame him for trying to get in you're pants Ana, your extremely attractive" These words send warm feelings through my stomach and tug and something deep inside. His fists bundle up at his sides again like the day at the hospital why is he so angry.

"Ana while you were in the kitchen I rang Dr Flynn I have an appointment for this evening… he's very happy to hear from me, I explained my… well our situation and he thinks it would be best if I asked you to join me in my session… would you come with me" Oh Christian I'd be more than happy to come with you in more ways then one trust me.

"Yes I'll come with you at what time?"

"Five, when we're finished we can stop for something to eat… That's if you want to of course" he looks so nervous and then something strikes me and I brust out laughing.

"What are you laughing at" he looks slightly annoyed but interested in seeing whats got me in the knots of laughter.

"Oh Christian I'm sorry it's just it sounds like my husband is asking me out on a date and I just can't help but find it funny"

"I don't date Ana… now do you want to go get something to eat after or not" Ah but you do fifty, you dated me.

"You dated me Christian… and Yes I'd like that" I smile proud and watch as he looks confused.

"Good you're a little on the slim side border line skeleton if I am to be honest you need to be fed" I try not to take offence as this is the way Christian has always been. "I was wondering in the hospital have you always been this thin but seeing these pictures I realise that you haven't"

"Well the last three weeks have been difficult" He looks away and I think I see guilt wrapped around his face, then once again he says something that shocks me.

"Ana, what negotiation's do we have in the pre-nup" eh… why is it me that's left to tell him everything. My palms get sweaty as I get ready to tell him that we don't have a pre-nup.

"Christian we never drew up one and the only thing I signed was our wedding certificate" Yes that's right fifty we don't have a pre-nup or a contract. I can see the shock and rage build up inside. Oh my god is he planning on leaving me. Panic set's in but is soon gone as Christian slams his fist on the table in front of him giving me a fright.

"What!" he says through gritted teeth I lean back as I see the anger build up more and more.

"Christian…" I'm cut off.

"Get out!" I wait a moment and then he roar's at me "For fuck sake Anastasia get the fuck out!" I jump up and nearly run from the room. What the hell has gotten into him, then I remember the time when the Jack Hyde situation was going on and I didn't listen to him when he was in New York. I went out for drinks with Kate only to return with Jack Hyde subdued in the apartment. God Christian was angry that time if I re-call his words "I want to punish you… really beat the shit out of you" he said in such a monosyllabic tone. (This line was taken from fifty shades of freed by EL James line sixteen page 218)

I walk into the kitchen and start to wash our wine glasses, tear's spill over my lower eyelashes and I sob into the glasses by the sink. I get so upset that I don't see what I'm doing and end up knocking over the bottle of wine why the hell did I leave it there. Oh god Christian's leaving me why else would he ask about the pre-nup, I realise that this is my worst nightmare come to real life. My Christian doesn't want me anymore. I don't know how I'll manage without him, I sink to floor beside the sink and end up sitting on broken glass and wine. I sob into my hands thinking about the Children, then I feel warm hands on my shoulders, I don't dare look as I know seeing his face will only make matter's worse. He lifts me in one easy movement out of the broken glass. I keep my eyes closed as I'm placed on soft material I know I'm in our bedroom placed sitting up on the bed. I open my eye's only to be met with his. The sob's and tear's continue to leave my body and I don't know how I'm going to calm them down before we go see Dr Flynn.

"Ana I apologise for my outburst, I'm just angry at myself and confused, It's like now that I know that there's no pre-nup I obviously trust and love you enough to never need one, and those are… well there… feelings I suppose… feelings that I just can't get my head around"

"But why are you so angry with me all the time… I cant remember if this is the way you were in the beginning or not… I'm so tired Christian and so worn out and you didn't fucking marry a submissive so don't talk to me and treat me like I am one" I inwardly feel guilty for acting like a bitch when I know he's just trying to get used to the way things are.

"Go to sleep Ana, rest before we have to leave" he pulls over a chair and sits beside the bed as I pull a blanket over myself. I drift off looking at his face and then before I know it I'm gone, I sleep so easily in the presence of Christian. I dream of happy thing's, until I'm awoken to the sound of our shower being turned off.

Christian steps out of the bathroom a few minutes later wrapped in just a towel, that man's body has never changed, if anything its gotten even better.

"I was just about to wake you, it's four" he smiles and it touches my heart to see him even the slightest bit happy.

I yawn and then clamber out of bed and into the walk in closet, I get undressed as I decided that jeans and a cardigan isn't the best thing to wear to a Doctor's office. I stand in a purple lace thong and matching bra when I turn to reach for a grey pencil skirt Christian catches my eye, he stands in the door way of the wardrobe with his fists clenched once again, he looks so sexy still wet from the his shower.

"Your clothes are on the aisle behind me Christian, and there's more clothes in the wardrobe out there" he still stares as I point to the bedroom.

"Thanks" he turns away and closes the door's behind him. I slip on my skirt and a purple shirt with black high heels.

I sit at my vanity table and pull my hair up into a tight doughnut bun a few strands escape my grasp and I leave them to frame my face.

Christian stood with the Pajero key's in his hand, I want to scream at him and tell him he can't drive to the doctor's office not with these spontaneous headaches, I hold my tongue as I do not wish to anger him and also because Dr. Flynn's office isn't that far away. He was dressed in one of his Armani suit's he didn't wear a tie he just left the first few button's undone on his shirt so a hint of his chest hair peaked out from under his shirt, he looked beautiful. And he smelled like heaven.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, Are you going to drive?"

"I am. Do you have an objection's to this?"

"Yes I would feel more comfortable driving us, seen as though you don't know where the good doctor's new office's is" This hurt Christian and to be honest I don't know why. I put out my hand and waited for him to give me the keys, he did so with ease and then followed me out to the jeep.

"Where are the other car's?" he asked.

"The Jaguar, The Mini, The BMW and the two Audi's are in the garage, there's also a Harley." He nodded his head in agreement and seemed pleased with my answer. Yes Christian you are still extremely rich.

"Why do you drive this Jeep?"

"You prefer me to drive this when I'm taking the kids anywhere, because it's safer than the other car's and to be honest I just got used to this, I like my jeep, do you want me drive us in one of the other car's?"

"No you're okay let's just stick with this"

"Dr. Flynn will be so happy to see you Christian" I tried to lighten the mood. It didn't work, why had his mood suddenly changed?

"Hmm Yes I'm sure he will."

We arrive at the doctor's office within thirty minutes right on time.

"Why are we sitting in the waiting room our appointment is at five its ten past"

"Christian be patient, please" I look up and him hoping to calm him slightly, it works. And just as he physically relaxes Dr. Flynn steps out to welcome us into his office, Christian storms ahead.

"For god sake Flynn we have reservations for half six I'm going to have to cancel now" Christians not impressed.

"Don't be ridiculous Christian it's only ten minutes" He gives me a deathly look and I can see Dr. Flynn take note of this, he leans in and kisses both my cheeks and shakes my hand. He ignores Christian's outburst.

"Good evening Anastasia how have you been?" The doctor gives me a sympathetic look and I return his question with a weak smile he can tell how difficult its been. He then turns his attention to Christian.

"Christian how have you been?"

"That's a stupid question Flynn" Christian really isn't impressed.

"Please Christian sit down tell me what's bothering you?" Christian sits down.

"Besides the fact the I cant remember my wife my kids and my life… I'm fine Flynn just fine!" I don't know what the hell has gotten into him since we got into the jeep he's turned into a nightmare!

"Ana how are you handling things" Christian looks at me silently awaiting an answer.

"I… I don't know… I'm trying to adjust… I'm worried."

"Worried about what" Flynn sat across from us scribbling on a note pad also awaiting answers from myself, answer's that I didn't know how to give. I stared down at my hands as I fumbled with then suddenly feeling afraid and self-conscious.

"I'm worried that he'll leave me and return to his… old… lifestyle… I'm worried about what will happen to myself and the children if he leaves" I sigh loudly and then tell Flynn one of my biggest fears. "I'm worried about what he expects from our sex life… I feel like we're back at where we were all though years ago and I'm so afraid that I won't be enough for him and I won't be what he wants and need's… as he very well pointed out once I don't have a submissive bone in my body"

Christian stares at me his lips set in a tight straight line.

"What is our sex life like…" Christian asks the question I know he's been dying to hear the answer to.

"We have a normal healthy sex life most of the time but we still dabble in what you call kinky fuckery… you spank me when given permission we use restraints, and sex toys and we just have consensual sex… you don't hurt me though, you don't…beat me" Christian inhales rather loudly and that's the sound that I didn't want to hear, he sounds disappointed.

"Christian how do you feel about this?" Dr. Flynn is interested to hear Christian's answer.

"To be honest I'm slightly relieved I don't want to hurt her… in fact it makes me feel rather ill at even the thought of hurting her… I don't know why and this anger's me."

"Ana have you told Christian about the incident in the playroom all those years ago?" Oh Dr. Flynn why have you opened up this old wound? Christians head snaps towards me and I can feel Grey eyes bore into the side of my head.

"What happened?... Anastasia don't ignore me what happened?... Flynn why isn't she telling me?" I really don't want to have this conversation with Christian again.

"Ana would you like me to explain what happened in you and Christian's first couple of weeks together. I nod and then rub my eyes once again feeling extremely tired. Christian turns his attention towards Flynn scrunching up a fist full of his trousers' in frustration.

"Christian Ana was never a submissive she never knew of your lifestyle… matter of fact she was a virgin when you two both met she decided to take you up on your offer of trying to be your submissive if you tried to give her more. One night she asked to show you how bad it can be the pain of what you could inflict on her… you compiled with her request and struck her with a leather belt quite a few times she was too shocked to use your safe word and you ended up hurting her badly… she broke up with you and left when you both reunited you didn't have the need to want to inflict pain on her it disturbed you to even think about it. I find it very interesting that even though you can't remember this you can still feel the feeling of disgust towards this topic that's something you should talk to your doctor about." I let out a breath when Flynn had finished and then I felt his eyes on me again.

"Why didn't you safe word" What! Why the hell is he asking me this?

"Flynn just explained Christian… I was too shocked I wanted to please you… and I just wanted to please you"

"Well you clearly didn't" he sounded cold.

"Stop acting like that and talking to me like that stop being so cold towards me. All that stuff is in the past we've moved on and now we can trust each other. You can trust me to tell you to stop when it gets too much and I can trust you not to hurt me when we do go back to Escala to venture into the playroom so just stop acting like an arse okay!" I huff and again feel guilt. He looks at me shocked and then starts to smile.

"What the hell are you smiling at?" I demand to know

"Ive never been spoken to like that by a woman… I have to admit I find it quite attractive Mrs Grey" Christian's smouldering eyes meet mine and for the first time since he's woken up I see fire burning behind his eyes. He looks like a lion ready to pounce.