The Wind At My Back
I looked across the few yards to one of the entrances to the Whispering Cloisters, and satisfied myself that all was well. The Mute Swan fountain bubbled silently behind me as I stretched out on the long stone bench in the middle of the Silent Quadrangle. Closing my eyes and basking in the late afternoon sunlight I rocked the pushchair gently with one hand to silence the slumbering baby inside, who was beginning to grizzle.
A bell sounded in the distance, heralding the end of the afternoon's lessons. A frisson of excitement made me shiver despite the warmth of the sun on my back and I smiled contentedly, for I knew that he would join me soon. A small group of Hufflepuff second years clattered out and across the quadrangle, greeting me shyly as they passed on their way from Professor Sprout's greenhouses. The brisk footsteps for which I was listening would come from the other direction. Sure enough, I heard his approach and began to feel his mood, as if it had an independent identity all its own, which reached long fingers out to me and caressed my skin, making me tingle in eagerness to see him again. I hadn't seen him all day, and had missed him, as I always did.
He had not had a very satisfying afternoon. The emerald had shown me blackly swooping robes and long, pointing fingers, sternly folded arms and deep frown lines each time I had sought him therein. I opened my eyes, and caught my breath as he appeared in the archway leading from the cloisters into the quadrangle; tall, black, brooding, his habitual frown raking around the courtyard until his impatient gaze rested on me.
"Well, where is she?" he asked peremptorily.
"Just over there," I pointed, indicating the archway at the other end of the corridor. He stood with his arms folded and waited silently. A small figure tottered out into the sunlight and finally noticed his forbidding presence, turning to face him. She had a mass of unruly black curls, very fair skin and dark eyes. She was about two and a half feet tall.
"Seffie!" he called in his fiercest voice, raising one eyebrow and looking down his long nose to her. She began to giggle, an infectious laugh that always warmed my heart, and she shouted,
"Daddy's come!"
As she began to move towards him, breaking into a run, Severus' dour face split into a wide smile and he hunkered down to her height, holding out his arms to her and sweeping her up, twirling her round and round until both were giddy. Laughing breathlessly, he set her down and she ran across the lawn to retrieve the doll she had carelessly discarded earlier.
"What my baby doin'?" she demanded of it as she picked it up by its leg and dropped it unceremoniously head first into her toy pram.
"And what's mine doing?" Severus asked, sauntering over to the pushchair and peering inside.
"Sleeping, mostly," I replied, and he sat down beside me wearily, slipping his arm around my shoulders.
"Another sleepless night for us tonight, then?"
"Oh, the joys of family life!" I smiled, resting my head on his shoulder as he hugged me to him and nuzzled my hair.
"Hmm. There are compensations, at least. So, did you go to see the house?"
"Yes, we went this morning. Hermione came too, and we had lunch at the Three Broomsticks afterwards."
"How very nice for you. And? Will it do?"
"I'm afraid not, love!"
"Oh?" His face darkened in confusion. "I thought it was perfect for us! I thought you'd like it! Did our dear, opinionated friend find fault with it in some way?" he continued acidly, drawing back from me and looking down at me enquiringly. "Funny, I had thought she would be all too eager to shoo us out of our home so that she could turn it into a den for her lupine friend and have some cubs of her own…"
"Oh, Severus, really!" I admonished, laughing. "You know quite well that Hermione has no intention of living in our dungeon!"
"Why? What's wrong with it?"
I rolled my eyes and groaned, burying my face in his shoulder in mock exasperation.
"I've told you, they're taking over Sirius' old suite and knocking through! Anyway, I thought you said Draco was having it?"
"Hmph. It was only an idea. Poppy isn't sure he's ready to live on his own just yet. And besides, I'm not sure I like the idea of anyone else living there."
"Well, we don't have to move at all, if you don't want to!"
"Yes, we do! Our son needs his own room. And I liked that house. I thought you would, too. So, what's wrong with it anyway?" he continued defensively. "Is my taste so Gothic and individual as to be totally unacceptable to your feminine sensibilities?"
"No, not at all! I loved it, and Hermione loved it,...so did Seffie, particularly the garden," I said, nodding over to where our daughter was busily feeding blades of grass to her doll. "But I just didn't think you'd be happy there."
"And why is that, exactly?" he asked archly.
"Because, despite its forbidding exterior, it has roses growing all around the front door, and as you never tire of telling me, you don't like flowers!" I laughed, and he pulled me to him and cupped my face in his hand.
"Oh, very good! Very amusing! You have a very Slytherin sense of humour, you know," he murmured in a low voice, leaning down to breathe softly in my ear, "But I think you forget who I am! I will not be teased in such a cavalier way. I am sorry, Ella, but your behaviour warrants a very comprehensive detention later."
"Oh, yes please, Professor Snape!" I whispered against his insistent, demanding lips as at last they found mine.
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THE END
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AUTHOR'S NOTEWell, that's it! The end!
I want to thank all of my faithful readers. It's been a long hard slog, but for those of you who had the fortitude to read all 58 chapters, I appreciate your sticking with me for so long!
And for those of you who went that little bit further and actually reviewed as well, you have my undying gratitude. You are all wonderful. It's so great to open my mailbox and see little tiny review alerts nestling in between all the irritating and intrusive spam mails. I seem to have lost a few of you along the way, but conversely very many of you have come to the story quite recently and stayed up all night reading chapter after chapter, unable to stop and go to bed…I can't tell you how flattering that is.
Also flattering beyond belief is to be told that reading SIL inspired many of you to write your own fics. You know who you are, and I know how good you are, and I am humbled.
I have been so encouraged by you that I have decided to try to adapt 'Snape In Love' into an original fiction, and try to get someone to actually publish it. I have a vague idea of how, and I really must buckle down and do it. Without your feedback I would never even have tried to write something so long, let alone do something with it.
In the mean time, as I have said before, I'm scribbling away at two companion pieces to this story called 'Chasing Darkness Away' and 'Hermione's Diary'. Watch out for them, I'll start posting again in around a month or so, once I've written a bit more of them, and once everyone has had chance to read 'Order of the Phoenix'!
So, for the last time for this story…please review!
Oh, and here are the sources for the chapter titles from 36 to the end. Just in case you wondered!
36. Build My World Around You - Could It Be Magic - Barry Manilow
37. And After All Is Said, Is Said And Done - Time And Time Again - Mike Rutherford
38. I Need To Be Right By Your Side - Right By Your Side - Eurythmics
39. Lazing on A Sunny Afternoon - Lazing On A Sunny Afternoon - The Kinks
40. Making Each Day Of The Year - Here, There And Everywhere - The Beatles
41. Changing The Future To Now - Wind At My Back - Spock's Beard
42. You Touch Every Place In My Heart – If You're Not The One - Daniel Bedingfield
43. If You Go Away – Ne Me Quitte Pas – Jacques Brel
44. You Don't Know How Many Times I've Wished That I Could Hold You - Cherish - David Cassidy
45. Know My Heart Is By Your Side - If You're Not The One - Daniel Bedingfield
46. Pain And Heaven - Cover My Eyes - Marillion
47. A Child Is Born And Love Is Made Alive - Made Alive - Spock's Beard
48. Now I'm Home Again, Back In My Old Place - Time And Time Again - Mike Rutherford
49. You Ought To Know By Now - Know By Now - Robert Palmer
50. I'll Kiss You Until Heaven Sends You - Heaven Sends You - The Mission
51. I Paid My Last Respects This Morning On An Early Grave – Nickelback
52. There's Someone In My Head, But It's Not Me
53. I Need To Be Behind Your Castle Walls – Carie –Spock's Beard
54. Come Love Me Again - Annie's Song - John Denver
55.I've Found Me The Sanctuary Of My Heart - For My Wedding - Don Henley
56. The Heat I See In Your Eyes – In Your Eyes – Peter Gabriel
57. From Impossibility To The Only Way - Know By Now - Robert Palmer
Epilogue - The Wind At My Back – Wind At My Back – Spock's Beard