The date: August 16th, 1997. Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley had been hiding inside of number 12 Grimmauld Place for a little over two weeks. Kreacher was gone: searching for any clues about the disappearance of Regulus Black's locket. It was supposed to be a quiet morning.

The three occupants weren't planning on doing much that day. At this point, they only left to get food, and with Ron Weasley in the house, that was more often than the other two would have liked. With Death Eaters sulking around outside the house at all times, the risk of leaving was just too great to do anything else.

It was late afternoon, and it had been a long day of nothing happening. Harry was in the kitchen trying to prepare something for dinner. Ron was sitting at the kitchen table salivating over the smell coming from one of the pots. Hermione was in the drawing room two floors above Harry and Ron, reading the copy of Tales of Beedle the Bard that Dumbledore had willed her.

Unfortunately for Ron and Hermione, the very fact that they were with Harry Potter meant that something out of the ordinary was bound to happen at some point during their stay at the ancestral home of the family Black. That something out of the ordinary first came in the form of a loud sound from the living room, as though several people had fallen to the floor, followed by several deep groans.

It didn't take long for Harry, Ron and Hermione to converge on the living room, their wands out. While the three of them were definitely nervous, their emotions didn't even compare to the amount of fear that was showing on the faces of the four young men. A few things were apparent about them before anybody even spoke. Other than the fact that they were terrified, they looked to be slightly older than Harry, Ron, and Hermione. It was also obvious to see that they were related. All of them were average height and had stocky, athletic builds, like Ron's brother Charlie, though their faces could be considered pretty. One of them, the youngest looking, had brick colored hair that was almost too perfectly straight and fell to the middle of his ears. In the few seconds they had been there, Hermione observed him brush his long bangs out of his blue eyes a total of four times. The one cowering next to him had orange hair, with some looking as though it had been bleached white by the sun. It was a long, wavy mess, pushed back so that it landed on the middle of the back of his neck. He sported a trimmed beard along his jawline, and his eyes were an interesting mix of violet and blue. The next one's appearance surprised the three the most: he seemed an almost perfect clone of Harry, except for the fact that he had freckles, his hair was curly and messy (not just messy like Harry's), and, like the other three, had at least fifty pounds of muscle and fat on Harry. He also seemed to have snapped out of being scared, and seemed to be calmly evaluating the situation, just as Hermione was. While the first three young men were pretty, they still had some masculinity to them, while the fourth one was the type that made women envious. His platinum blonde hair was in a ponytail, while his blue eyes, the same color as the first one, were catlike. He was the only one without freckles or any sort of facial hair.

It only took a few moments to take in their appearance, and while the six males in the rooms were gawking at each other, Hermione was able to know that something had gone very wrong. It didn't take long for Hermione to notice the object in the orange haired man's hand. It was a long silver chain, and connected to it was a broken hourglass with all of the sand drained out of it.

"Is that a time turner?" Hermione said.

Her statement snapped everybody else out of their fear.

"It used to be," the guy holding the broken time turner replied. He held it out towards Hermione. "Take a look, Aunt Hermione."

Harry, Ron, and Hermione froze when he said Aunt Hermione. They all knew (and I assume you, dear reader, also know) that Hermione was an only child and unwed. Therefore, it was impossible for her to have a nephew in the biological sense of the term.

The guy didn't seem to really care that he had said it, but the young man with the blonde hair gave him an exasperated look, and the one with the brick colored hair elbowed him in the gut.

The black haired man sighed. "You're an idiot James." His voice was soft and silky. He then started to get up, rubbing his bum and stretching along the way. The Golden Trio quickly aimed their wands at him for this action. He responded by raising his hands above his head.

"Now let's not get too hasty," he said. "We all know that the wards up around here wouldn't allow us to get in if we were dangerous unless we were already in the house. The four of us were already here, it's just that our place in the space-time continuum is slightly different than yours. We're not a threat to you."

There was a short silence.

"You're our kids, aren't you?" Hermione said.

"Kinda," the black haired boy said. "The way you said "our kids" implies that we're the result of the three of you getting it on with each other. But yes, we are all related to each of you in some way.

"I can start revealing things if you want," he continued, "as long as you stop pointing your wands at me."

His companions looked as though they wanted to kill him. On the other side, Hermione was the first to lower her wand. She gestured for the other two to do the same. Ron did quickly, and Harry reluctantly. None of them put their wands away.

"Speak," Harry said, "or else we really start cursing you."

The black hair young man looked at Harry with a look that clearly said are you fucking serious. "Now would you really do that to your own son? I really must have misjudged you when growing up."

After Harry's jaw dropped, his son smirked. "I'm glad you're getting past the phase where you think you know everything about fighting and enemies. I remember Mum saying you were really angsty and self-centered when you were this age. Anyway, allow me to properly introduce myself."

He gracefully gave an over-the-top bow. "I am Albus Severus Potter." He let his name sink in. It took some time for the three he was speaking to fully comprehend what he had said, but when he felt that the understood, Albus smirked again.

"Yes, yes, I'm named after Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape." He turned to Ron, who looked as though he was about to say something on how Snape was a horrible person or some other cliché that's so common in these types of stories. "Before you say anything, I am obliged to tell you that Professor Snape turned out to be a hero, an incredibly brave man, and Dad would not have defeated the Great and Powerful Lord Voldemort without him."

Albus took a deep breath. "Anyway, I should continue. I am currently twenty-one and have two older brothers and a younger sister, but we'll get to that later. I'm thinking you want to know what I did during my time at Hogwarts. Well, I was a Slytherin-" if Harry had been drinking anything, he would have promptly done a spit take- "and a prefect. I was a beater on my house Quidditch team. I really wanted to be a Seeker, like you Dad, but I weight almost twice as much as the team Seeker, though I think he barely made a hundred pounds. All of us were beaters on our house teams, actually. The way we're built, we couldn't really be anything else, no matter how good a shape we're in. Anyway, now that I'm out of Hogwarts, I currently work at the Department of Mysteries. I brought home some of my work, and since the three you see behind me are some of my roommates, we ended up here.

"Let's see, what else… Well, Dad, you gave this place to me and my brother James here, who shall introduce himself after I finish. Then we pulled together some of our relatives so now this place is packed, with ten of us living here. So prepare yourselves, I'm about to give you a crash course in our little commune. Of course, I live here. Then there's my boyfriend Scorpius-"

"Boyfriend!" This came from Harry, who had been looking a bit weak-kneed for a little while, but now he was just looking at Albus like he had been stunned.

"Yeah, I'm gay. So what? Anyway, so yeah, Scorpius and I occupy what used to be Regulus's old room. We've updated the Slytherin décor, of course. We can't forget that we're the only snakes living here. My younger sister Lily, age nineteen and our cousin Rose, age twenty-one, room together in Uncle Sirius's old room on the same floor. Lily was a Hufflepuff and is studying to be a healer at the moment, which I think is totally unreasonable. I don't know how she's able to be patient enough to deal will most of those people. I had to go visit St. Mungo's for work once and-"

"Albus, you're getting off topic," James said, grabbing his brother's bum.

"Look, that ass you just groped is reserved for Scorpius. I know it's gorgeous, but at least try to contain yourself," Albus said. "So let me continue. Yeah, so Lily's going to be a healer, and I let Rose's brother tell you about her. I don't want to risk saying anything to incur her wrath."

The man with the brick colored hair grimaced, but otherwise didn't do anything.

"So… that's about all I have to say at the moment," Albus said. "James, you're up next."

James sighed and stood up as Albus took a seat on the couch.

"Let me just say that I have never heard Albus say so much at once before," he started. "I knew Slytherins had smooth tongues, but seriously, but he works in the Department of Mysteries. It's like their contract states that they can't talk to anyone outside of the department."

"Get on with it, Jamie," Albus butted in.

"Right, right. So, I am James Sirius Potter. I'm twenty-two in, to quote our resident expert, Albus, my point in the space-time continuum. And I'm your oldest biological child, Dad. I also work for the Ministry, but I work in Muggle-relations, in that I'm the assistant to the wizard ambassador to the Muggle Prime Minister. You'll be happy to know, Dad, that I was a Gryffindor, like any proper Potter and made Quidditch team captain my final year. I room with Teddy, who's your godson, Dad. His parents died shortly after he was born, and his grandmother passed away when he was five, so he was practically raised as an older brother to me, Lily, and Al. I am currently single-"

"Wait, aren't you dating that Chang guy? Sean, wasn't it?" Albus said.

"Sadly, not yet. Plus, I just broke up with Nancy, so I don't want him to feel like he's just a rebound."

"I don't know why you dated her. Did you think she would be any different from Professor Parkinson? Plus, she's isn't even pretty."

"Albus, just because you only like men don't mean that the rest of us can't find both men and women attractive. Anyway, I think that's it about me. Who wants to go next?"

The blonde haired man stood up. "I'll go." His voice was higher than James' and Albus's, and with the way he was dressed, he was almost a walking stereotype of a homosexual, except for the fact that he didn't look as… frail as the stereotypical gay men does.

"My name is Louis Weasley," he said. "I'm twenty, and I'm the son of your brother Bill, Uncle Ron. I room with Hugo here, and I work as part of Cho Chang's Fashion Empire®. I was a Ravenclaw while in school, and like Albus said I was a beater on my house team. And yes, before you point it out, I obviously prefer relationships with the same sex. Don't worry, Albus and I are the only ones who exclusively date the same sex, though I think Jamie here is coming more to our side, where he's been leaning the other way for a while. I'm not seeing anyone at the moment-"

"Because he's a workaholic," James butted in.

"You better watch what you say Jamie," Albus said. "You can't forget that the guy you're pinning after is his boss's son. He can have both you and Sean castrated. You wouldn't be able to get very close then, would you?"

Louis smirked at James. "He's right. I happen to be close to Ms. Chang, and she would definitely love to hear that you're after her precious, supposedly straight son. Anyway, that's about all I have to say. Huggles, you're up next."

The last person jumped up energetically. "Hello, I'm Hugo Weasley! My parents are Ronald and Hermione Weasley!"

I'm back! I plan on updating everything within the next month or so, and will continue to update things (including this) on a regular basis! Please comment!