Someone I Use To Know
A/N ~ It's been a very long time since I wrote anything. I know I still have Model Behavior to finish and I hope to one day soon but honestly my muse is kinda gone. I hope with being able to put this out I can get my muse back. So saying I'm rusty so excuse me, with luck I can get my rhythm back. But thank you so much to all of you who have sent me words of encouragement. I love you guys, you freaking rock! Enough of me rambling, enjoy! To my lovely beta Lana, boo, I couldn't do it without you! Love ya girly!
I don't own or know anything that is associated with Derek Hough, Mark Ballas, DWTS, Amber Riley or any of the actors from Glee mentioned in this story. I just like to play around with them. This story is all in my twisted mind…unfortunately…sigh.
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Mark looked across the room, it was kind of dim but he was sure it was her. He hadn't seen her but once since the season ended but they talked or tweeted every week. But he had noticed during the last few weeks it was hard to catch her or she was avoiding his calls. Time to find out.
"Amber, hey woman, damn it's been hard to catch up with you."
Startled Amber looked up to see Mark, plastering a fake smile on her face she greeted him. She didn't really want to see him. Now here he was in person. He was just a reminder of him, damn she knew she should have stayed home.
"Hi Mark, how have you been?"
"I've been good, doing some gigs. I'm sorry I missed your concert but the parents insisted we all come home early."
"That's okay Mark. I know you have your own life to lead. That things change." Amber averted her eyes, she knew if she let anything slip Mark would be all over her, asking questions she didn't want to answer.
Mark cocked his head at the tone in her voice, it didn't sound right. She sounded hurt not to mention a little angry. "Ambs is something wrong? Did I do something to make you angry? You've been avoiding me for a few weeks now."
Well shit so much for not letting anything slip. Now he's going to be like a dog with a bone. "Mark, you haven't done anything but be a good friend." She flashed him a smile that didn't reach her eyes.
He studied her as thoughts flashed through his mind. She wouldn't look him in the eyes. Why did she put an emphasis on you? He could see a sheen in her eyes…fuck it had to be Derek. "When was the last time you talked to Derek?"
Amber stiffened at his question. "Around Thanksgiving, when we did the dance wars." She blinked hard, she would not cry over a man that didn't want her.
"So you guys aren't talking? Why? I thought…" Mark did a mental slap, he knew what the problem was.
"Mark, I really don't want to talk about this. I need to go. I'll call you later." Gathering her things Amber quickly left the restaurant.
Mark sat thinking, he knew that Derek was back with Nina and had spent Christmas with her. But he had seen them together and something just wasn't clicking. Derek made and said all the right things but none of it rang true. He wasn't the same, he seemed to be doing what was expected instead of what he wanted. When he was dancing with Amber he saw the Derek he grew up with, funny, relaxed and happy with life. Now he had reverted back to the pre-Amber, Derek. He wanted his old friend back, the one Amber seemed to bring out. It was time to have a talk with his bro.
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Derek walked up to Mark's house and knocked on the door. He didn't know what was so important that he had to come over at midnight but Mark was his bro so he came. His mind wondered as he waited for Mark to open the door. He wondered what she was doing. They hadn't talked in a month and he really missed her. But he had made his choices and he was going to stick with them. He was so lost in thought that he didn't notice that Mark was standing there waiting for him to come in.
"Derek! Man snap out of it, come on in." Mark snapped his fingers in Derek's face.
"Sorry man, I was in my head. What's so important you called me to come over this late?"
Mark didn't say anything until they were both sitting down. He took a good look at his friend. The sparkle was missing from his eyes and he could tell his mind was elsewhere.
"So how's things with Nina? Are you going to put a ring on it?"
"What the hell, you called me over here to talk about Nina?" Derek stood up. "I'm going home."
"I saw Amber tonight."
Derek stopped in his tracks. "You did? How is she?" He didn't turn around to face Mark, he couldn't show any weakness.
"I did and she is as hot as ever, maybe even more so. As for how she is, let's see how can I say this. Oh, I got it, feeling fucked over and dumped."
"What?" Derek snapped around with a snarl. "Who the fuck hurt her? I swear I will kick their ass!"
"Oh good D" Mark slowly clapped his hands, "and just how are you going to kick your own ass?"
"What? What the fuck are you talking about? I never dumped her!"
"But you did fuck over her…right? I mean, everyone thought you and Amber would be an item after the show. Hell you acted like you were her man, you were all over her. Then you go back to Nina…Nina of all people."
Derek sat down rubbing his hand over his face as he thought about why he had walked away from Amber. "Mark, I can't do this man. I'll talk to you later."
Mark watched as his best friend left, he had never seen so much pain and grief in one person's face. Whatever had happened it was eating Derek alive, he closed his door, thinking about his friends. They should be together, happy instead of being apart and so damn miserable.
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Derek sat in his car his mind filled with images of Amber, her smile, her laugh. The way she would blush when he called her baby. God he missed her, how did his life turn into this mess. He was with Nina but he knew he could care less about her. Hell if he was honest he dreaded anytime he spent with her. So why was he still with her? Because he was in love with Amber…his head hit the headrest, how fucked up was that? With one woman and in love with another?
Making it home, he laid in bed remembering the moment he realized he had fallen in love with Amber. It was during the Thanksgiving dance wars. Seeing her dancing with her family, omg he watched her as she danced and the sheer fun she was having took his breath away. He had watched her video long into the night, just drinking in the sight of her. He let out a huff, if he was being honest he was in love with her long before then. He had been afraid of what he was feeling, what if she didn't feel the same? What if the looks she gave him were only a part of her emoting the music…the dance? Why didn't he ask her instead of running? Why did he run? He let out an angry growl. Now he was with Nina and Amber, according to Mark, she was hurt all because of him. How could he fix things? Would she talk to him? He sighed, but that time had passed and he had missed his chance with her because he was a fool.
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Amber couldn't believe her terrible luck. The first time she had gone out in a while and who would she run into, Mark. She cringed at the thought of how she had ran rather than stay and answer his questions. But the pain was still too much and he reminded her of him, Derek. She closed her eyes, would she ever get over him? He had moved on and was happy with Nina. She needed to accept that and move on with her life. But how did you move on after falling in love with the man of your dreams? Pulling her laptop onto her lap she began to watch clips from her time on DWTS. Biting her lip as the tears threatened to flow she did a mental head slap. Why was she tormenting herself like this? Closing her laptop the last sight she saw was Derek twirling her during their waltz. She remembered the look in his eyes during the dance. She could have sworn she saw love in his eyes. Snorting at her foolish thoughts she pulled the cover up around her shoulders. She had Glee rehearsals tomorrow. There was no time to dream about Derek, that time had passed.
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"Derek I don't understand why we're even here. You haven't done anything but play with your drink and stare into the crowd." Nina was bored and wanted to dance. But her boyfriend, a freaking professional dancer was just sitting looking depressed. All their friends were having a great time. Everyone but them. She studied him, ever since they had gotten back together he had been different. He didn't laugh or joke the way he had when they first met. He never flirted with her anymore and she couldn't remember the last time they had made love. If she didn't know better she would swear he was seeing another woman. "Derek, what's going on?"
Nursing his drink Derek took a sip as he thought of what day it was, Amber's birthday. He closed his eyes, wondering what she was doing. Did she have someone in her life, the thought of another man with her killed him inside. Opening his eyes he dragged his mind back to the woman sitting next to him. "I needed to get out of the house. You keep saying we don't do anything, well now we are…we're out." He ignored her last question, she didn't want to know the answer to that one. Hell he didn't either.
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Amber giggled as Chris and Jenna both made silly faces at her as they sung happy birthday to her and Chord. She was with her friends celebrating her 28th birthday. For once her mind wasn't on a certain blond.
"Come on let's dance" Chord pulled her out on the dance floor, "It's our party Ambs, so shake that moneymaker babe!"
Giggling Amber let Chord pull her out onto the dance floor. They were both a little tipsy, the music was fast and they laughed as Chord did his crazy dances. The music changed to a slower beat. Chord pulled her into his arms, resting his head on hers. "I've missed you Ambs, this feels so good to be holding you again." He kissed the top of her head. "I've missed us, what we were to each other."
Amber was lost in the music as Ciara's Body Party, flowed over them. Listening to the words, thinking about Derek. The man grinding on her was Chord but in her mind it was Derek. She gave a soft moan as his hands flowed over her body, molding her to him. Suddenly she was brought out of her haze by the sounds of an angry growling voice.
"Get your fucking hands off her!"
Amber blinked, not believing what she was seeing. An angry red faced Derek glaring at Chord, his fists clenched at his side.
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Staring again into the crowd Derek was surprised to see Amber and her friends. They were out celebrating her birthday. He wanted to go over and say hi but he knew that was something that wasn't going to happen. It was better to just look at her and send her wishes from afar.
"Who are you staring at?" Nina tried to see who or what had caught Derek's attention. "Oh isn't that Amber?" Her eyes widened, "Damn Chord is all over her! Are they dating…or fucking? Cause he is all over her ass!"
The rage that was coursing through his body had him seeing red, why the fuck was Chord all over Amber like that…he was about to find out. Not even looking at Nina he made his way over to the couple dancing. Grabbing Chord's hand he pulled it off of Amber. "Get your fucking hands off her!"
"Derek? What the hell are you doing?" Nina was shocked, she looked from the couple to Derek. The fury that was in his eyes had her stepping back. "Why are you so angry?" Even as she asked the question she knew the answer. This woman was the reason that Derek was only going through the motions of being with her.
"What the fuck man?" Chord looked at the other man confused. "Where the hell did you even come from?" He looked at Nina standing beside Derek, "Isn't that your woman next to you?' He rolled his eyes as he snorted, "You don't have the right to say a damn thing about Amber. You blew that chance, so fuck off." Chord moved Amber behind him, not wanting her to get hurt. "Stay behind me babe."
Derek saw red when he heard Chord call Amber babe…that was his name for her. "What the fuck did you call her?" He stepped toward the other man.
Suddenly Amber snapped out of her shock, "Derek what are you doing? Stop this." She moved in front of Chord, despite him trying to pull her back, "Chord, I'm ok…don't worry." She smiled up at the tall blonde, rubbing his arm to calm him down.
"Derek, I don't know what you're doing but Chord and I are celebrating our birthday. You need to move on." At those words her eyes flashed to Nina, the pain seared through her. She blinked back the tears, she would not cry in front of him. Grabbing Chord's hand she started to walk away, "Let's go Chord, we have a party to host."
Derek could see the pain and hurt in her eyes, he felt like such an ass. "Happy birthday Amber" He saw her steps falter but she didn't turn around. Running his hand through his hair he remembered Nina. Looking at her he could see the anger that simmered beneath the calmness of her expression. Taking a deep breath he sighed, "Let's go" He held out his hand but she ignored it to walk stiffly away. Following his girlfriend he couldn't help but to look back at the woman he loved. "Well just fuck my life why don't you."
Chord pulled Amber to the side, "Are you okay Amber?" He searched her face, hoping that what he thought he had seen wasn't there anymore. Looking into her eyes, glistening with tears he found his answer. "You're in love with him aren't you?" He stepped back, the knowledge breaking his heart. They had broken up and he had chased other girls but it had always been Amber for him. By the time he had come to his senses it was too late. She was in love with another man; Derek wasn't the only one who had blew it.
"I'm okay Chord, don't worry about me." She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. She wished she could return his feelings but her time with him was in the past and she now considered him a dear friend. "Let's go have some fun." Her voice was light and cheerful, but her eyes were dark with misery.
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Nina stalked out of the club, she tapped her foot angrily as she waited for the valet to bring the car. She whirled around as Derek came up behind her. "Don't say one fucking thing." She held her hand up, "Not one word" Getting into the car she stared out the window. Arriving home she jumped out of the car before Derek even put it in park she hurried to her front door. Stepping inside she threw down her purse. "How long?"
Following her slowly into her house Derek really didn't want to have this conversation. "How long what?"
"You know what I'm talking about! How long have you been in love with Amber Riley?"
"Too fucking long"
Nina was dumbfounded, she sat down abruptly, "So why are you with me if you are in love with her?"
Derek sat down across from her, "Because I was too afraid to tell her how I felt, I walked away. I love her so much it fucking hurts. But I was too scared she would reject me, so I played it safe and hooked back up with you." His face stung as the sound of the slap rung out in the room. Holding his cheek he met her eyes. "I'm sorry but I've lived this lie too long. I can't do it anymore."
Nina could feel the tears falling, "I don't want to have anything else to do with you. You knew you didn't want me and yet you strung me along. You're an ass Derek and I hate you!"
"I'm an ass, you're right. But don't pretend you didn't do the same thing with me. You wanted to rub it in Ian's face and I was nothing but arm candy for you." He stood up and paced the room. "Hell we haven't had sex in over a month and you don't even give a damn." He gestured between the two of them. "We've just been using each other. Your pride is hurt, not your feelings. You have to feel something for a person to be hurt and we both know you don't give a fuck about me."
Biting her lip Nina balled her fists, before sighing and sitting back down "Yeah, you're right. But it still doesn't make what you've…we've done right." She looked up at him, "What are you going to do? Are you going to fight for her? Because I have to tell you Chord is going for it, he wants her bad and right now he has home court advantage."
"I know, tell me something I don't fucking know!" He couldn't keep the anger out of his voice. He had screwed up big time and now it was kicking him in the ass. Chord was after Amber and from the look of it he was about to have her again. Shit I can't let that happen!
"Hey calm down, you can get her back. She still loves you."
"She doesn't love me, I messed up Nina. I should have never walked away."
"True you shouldn't have but trust me, I saw the look in her eyes, she still loves you and if you want her then you better get your ass in gear because Chord isn't playing."
Derek was silent for a moment, "So what do I do? How can I fix this mess?"
Nina smirked, "I thought you would never ask." She patted the couch beside her, "Sit down and listen, I have a plan." Derek might have not been honest with her, but she hadn't been honest with him either. She was going to take her own advice and go after Ian, but first she needed to help Derek get started on the right path. "Okay, this is what you're going to do…."
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Amber had finally made it home, she had laughed and danced but ever since she had seen Derek with Nina the evening was flat to her. She put on a good act but that's all it was…an act. Chord had kept an eye on her for the rest of the evening. He had pretended too, but she could see the hurt in his eyes.
"What have you done girl? Derek is happy with Nina…but why was he acting like a fool with Chord." She thought of Chord, "I've hurt him but I can't be with him just to make him happy if he's not who I want." She groaned, "This is so fucked up it's not even funny." She got up to shower and get ready for bed, maybe a good night's rest would make things clearer in the morning.
Derek sat outside Amber's house, the thought of knocking on her door and admitting everything to her made him break out in a sweat. But Nina was right, just tell her everything then woo the hell out of her until she gave in out of sheer exhaustion. Amber was going to be his and he would hurt anyone who stood in his way. Getting out of his car he made his way to her door, ringing the doorbell he waited nervously.
Hearing her doorbell Amber hesitated, who could it be at this time of night? She checked the time, 2am. She hoped it wasn't Chord, she couldn't go through a discussion of why they couldn't be together. Going downstairs she peeped through the lookout. Gasping she pulled back, it was Derek. She thought about pretending she wasn't there but she had made so much noise coming down that she knew he had heard her. Summoning up a deep breath she opened the door, "What are you doing here?"
Derek took a deep breath, for the longest he couldn't speak, just being close to her again had him speechless.
"Derek…what are you doing here?"
Snapping out of his daze he blushed, "I wanted to apologize for the way I acted tonight. Can I come in?"
Amber hesitated, her head told her to slam the door in his face. Her heart demanded she let him in. Stepping back she motioned for him to enter. Leaning against the closed door she sighed, "You could have called, texted me or even sent flowers. There was no need for you to come in person."
"I wanted to see you." He ran his hands through his hair. "No, that's a lie, I needed to see you." He moved closer, "I've missed you so much babe…you have no idea."
"No! You can't call me that anymore." Her heart ached at his favorite name for her. "Stop, I don't know what you're doing or trying to do, but just stop…stop!" Amber could feel the tears blurring her vision.
Derek cringed at the pain in her voice, he had done that to her and he would never forgive himself for hurting her. Remembering Nina's advice he moved closer. Placing a hand on either side of her head against the door he stepped into her space.
"I can't stop, see that's the problem, I stopped before. And this…this is the shit that's the result of me stopping instead of manning up and going for the woman I loved, the woman I'm still in love with."
Amber's breath hitched at his words, "W-What?" She shook her head, not believing what she was hearing. "Derek…why are you saying this? Why now?" Her voice shook with the pain she was feeling.
"Because I finally grew a pair and stopped running." He moved closer, "I love you, I have loved you since we met. I ran like a little bitch because I was scared you would reject me." Derek swallowed hard, "For the first time in my life I was in love, the real deal, not that fake shit they sell in the tabloids." He reached out and traced the tear that slipped down her cheek.
Closing her eyes Amber took a shaky breath. "I don't know Derek…I don't…" Her voice trailed off at his touch.
"Babe, I'm sorry, so fucking sorry for the hurt and pain I've put you through…put us both through." He pressed his forehead against hers, "Just tell me what I need to do to make it up to you…to convince you to give me a chance. Tell me baby and I promise I'll do it. I'll do anything to make you mine. I'm begging you baby…please…just tell me…" Derek closed his eyes, trying to stay the tears, "Please baby…please…" he whispered.
Amber could hear the pain in his voice and it shook her to the core. She loved him, God did she love him. But he had hurt her…so what should she do? Her head said to laugh in his face and kick him out her house. Her heart, said to forgive him and give him a chance. Should she follow her head or her heart?
Pushing Derek away gently she let out a breath, "We need to talk. There are things I need to know." Leading him to the couch she sat down, patting the space beside her. "You say you love me, have been in love with me from the beginning, but you ran. Derek you knew I had feelings for you. You knew this and you ran…straight into Nina's arms. Why?"
Sitting beside her Derek listened as she asked him questions he had asked himself. "Amber, I know people think I'm this cocky guy that thinks he runs the world. But inside…inside I'm just as insecure as everyone else." He let out a huff, "I looked at you and the way the other guys flocked around you. Not only the guys from your show but the ones on DWTS. They all have crushes on you." He was frustrated, how could he make her understand. "I've had other partners that wanted to be with me while we were on the show. You know how that turned out."
"You're saying the other guys scared you away?" She looked at him in disbelief.
"I'm saying that I saw the way you were with Chord, with Kevin. You treated me the same way you did them. I wanted more and it seemed like that was all you were willing to give. Hell you treated Mark the same as you treated me. So I ran to protect my heart." He began to pace around the room. "I tried to tell you through our waltz. That dance was my way of expressing myself to you. But you kind of blew it off." He shrugged, defeated, not knowing how to express himself. "As for Nina, she was safe. I knew I didn't have feelings for her nor she for me. I couldn't get hurt." Derek looked at her with pleading eyes. "Amber…are you going back to Chord?"
Amber tried to look at it from Derek's point of view. Did she treat him like all the other guys in her life? She thought back to a conversation where Chris had told her the same thing when they talked about Derek. Was she guilty of what they both said? She was quiet for a long time, thinking back over their conversations and interactions. She could see where they both were right. "I do see your point and I maybe did make you think the way you did." She patted the space beside her once more for him to sit. "But Derek…why didn't you say something? When you saw I didn't catch on from the dance…you should have expressed yourself with words."
Derek sat down, dropping his head into his hands. "I'm sorry babe…I'm so fucking sorry for messing up." He stood up, "I'll go and I won't bother you again." He smiled sadly as he started for the door. He had tried and failed. He hoped Nina had better luck with Ian.
"Derek…where are you going?" Amber sighed, he could be the most clueless man she had ever seen. "Why are assuming again? Didn't you learn from your first experience with me?" Closing the distance between them she touched his arm. "Look at me"
Turning Derek held his breath as he looked down into her eyes. "I fucked up again didn't I?"
"Yeah…yeah you did." She shook her head, "I can't believe I'm in love with such a dork!" She smiled, waiting to see how long it would take him to catch on.
"I'm sorry babe. I promise the next time I see you I won't act a fool." He dropped his head and headed for the door. This had to be the worse day of his life. Suddenly Amber's words penetrated the fog in his brains. "Y-You love me? Me…you said you loved me!"
Amber laughed, "Damn you can be so slow Derek!" Walking over she wrapped her arms around him, "Yes I love you but we have a lot and I mean a hell of a lot to discuss before we go any further."
Pulling her into his arms Derek blinked back tears, he didn't care how much he had to open up to her. He would do whatever it took to regain her trust. "I love you babe." He rested his head against hers, "Thank you babe, thank you for giving me another chance." Taking her hand he led her back to the couch, he had much to explain and if it took him the rest of his life he would make it up to her.
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A/N ~ Thanks for reading guys as always R&R! Zee