Hey everyone! So basically this is the second time I've wrote this chapter simply because I accidently saved chapter 2 over chapter 1 :( Yeah so not good. Anyway I decided to write it again.

This may seem quite angsty at first, but trust me by the end of the story, it gets much happier and fluffier… maybe?;)

So here it is and please tell me what you think since I've wrote this two times now and it has taken me a long time to even finish chapter 1!

Xox

Deeks let out a long breath at he sunk further into his squishy leather couch. Today had been a really bad day for Deeks, mostly because of that infuriating, gorgeous woman named Kensi in his life. Deeks had never met someone who made him so annoyed yet feel so in love at the same time.

He had tried. God knows he had tried but yet again she had pushed him away and put her walls up just like the times before that. Of course he had tried to tell her how he felt. He'd lost count on how many times he had tried to tell her in the past, but being Deeks he tried again. He wanted her to know, even if she didn't return these said feelings, which right now, he knew there was a 99% chance she didn't.

He leant forward to clasp his fingers around his ice-cold beer, and brought it up to his lips to take a long hard swig. Monty was in the corner laid lazily in his bed, minding his masters watchful behavior.

Deeks just couldn't do it anymore. He's known that for a while now. But he just hoped - prayed something would change Kensi's mind so that they could live happily ever after. If only. Deeks knew she was scared, but he was too. Surely she could see that he wouldn't hurt her if they finally got together? But this was killing him now. Her denying it and avoiding it like a burning building, just made his heart ache a bit more than it already did. His head hit the back of the couch as the unwanted memories from today played through his mind, for what seemed like the hundredth time that evening.

It was a normal day, well as normal as it could be OSP. They got a case the day before about a missing Navy Captains 3 year old daughter. They had finally reprimanded the suspect – who thank god had the little girl with him, who was safe and sound now. But in the midst of reprimanding the suspect, who happened to be on a fishing boat, which the kidnapper was going to use to get away, a fight broke out.

In the middle of it Kensi had been flung off the side of the vessel when the kidnapper had struck her with a metal pipe. Deeks being Deeks had jumped in the freezing water after her to get her to safety. Thankfully Kensi had nothing more than a concussion, which the hospital had cleared. And after that, she had been silent for the rest of the afternoon, riding silently back to OSP with the boys. Callen and Sam assumed she was being quiet because of her injury- but Deeks knew better. He knew it was probably from being overpowered and weak in front of the team, that had made her silent, since Kensi absolutely hated to show weakness. When they arrived back at OSP Kensi went straight down to the armory, probably to clean her extensive collection of guns, and she had been there for the rest of the afternoon.

Deeks walked through the walkway to the armory, and saw Kensi sat at the lit up table, cleaning her Beretta. He walked over to the other side of the table to face her, putting two hands on the table and leaning slightly over it. She didn't look up, or acknowledge his presence, but Deeks knew she knew he was there.

"You okay?" He asked, watching her concentrate on cleaning every tiny hole on the gun.

"Fine." She stated and still didn't look up.

"Kens, c'mon you know you can talk to me…" He whispered, leaning across the table some more.

"Deeks nothing is wrong, ok. Drop it." Kensi said, her voice toneless.

"Kens, I'm your partner-" Deeks tried to start until Kensi interrupted, finally looking up. Fire burning in her eyes, as they pierced his soul.

"Deeks! Drop it, don't you listen?" She hissed, staring at him. Deeks didn't flinch, staring back at her with his full force. He leant across the table and grabbed her hand. She flinched underneath his hand, and tried to pull back but Deeks held her hand tighter.

"Kens, please why won't you talk to me? We're partners… more than partners…" He whispered, trying to catch her eyes, as she looked at everything in the room but him.

"Deeks, we're partners, that's it." She whispered, her voice almost breaking. She snatched her hand back like he had burnt her, as she stared at her hands, which were fiddling with one another.

"Kens, you and I both know that isn't true. There's so much more to us than that…" He whispered, reaching over and trying to capture her hand within his again, but failing as Kensi avoided any contact with him.

"No, no, no…" Kensi mumbled, almost panicking at the thought of the idea.

"Please, Kensi listen. I've tried so many times to tell you how I feel about you, how its more than how a partner should feel…" He whispered.

"Deeks, I can't do this…" Kensi whispered, as she stood up from her chair, and almost ran out of the room.

Deeks let out a breath and sighed. Again. She had walked out on him and their 'thing' again. He didn't know how many more times he could do this, let alone pretend like nothing had happened yet again, like he usually did.

Deeks sighed and rubbed his forehead with his hand. Wow, that recent memory hurt like hell already. He dreaded work the next morning; arriving and pretending like nothing happened the day before, which they both knew, clearly was not true.

Honestly, he just really didn't know what to do. He couldn't push her more than he already had, because he knew she's scared of what could happen if they did finally admit their feeling to one another. Hell, he wasn't even sure if she did have feelings for him. And if she didn't, then he had certainly messed everything up. But he saw the way they looked at each other, teased and bantered with one another. It was way more than what you would consider 'friendly.' The way they looked at each other when they thought no one else was watching them, slapping each other's butts affectionately. It made his heart ache profusely when he realized she probably just thought of it as a 'laugh' and nothing else to it.

She was the one thing he wanted more than anything in the whole world, and he wasn't going to get her.

Xox

Deeks walked into the bullpen at 7am the following morning. He had his signature white t-shirt, leather jacket and jeans on, with his bag over his shoulder and sunglasses over his eyes. He threw his bag under his oak desk and slumped down on his seat. 3 hours. He had 3 hours sleep last night. The rest of the night was spent thinking about his and Kensi's relationship, and what was going to happen the next day with them. He just thanked god he was the first one in that morning, unusual for him, but still.

30 minutes and several pieces of paperwork later, Kensi strolled into the bullpen. Deeks could tell it was she by the way she walked, but he still didn't look up and acknowledge her. Instead he carried on scribbling on the paperwork he had, hoping she wouldn't say anything. Wrong. Kensi cleared her throat, and Deeks looked up as she came to a stand still in front of his desk. He raised his eyebrow in acknowledgment, but still didn't say anything, not wanting to be the first to speak after last night.

"Hey." She said nervously, fiddling with the drinks holder in her hand.

"Hello." He said back, not one word more.

"I… erm… got you a coffee, your favourite. Double shot, extra fat latté." Kensi stumbled, placing the piping hot beverage on his desk. Deeks nodded in reply.

"Thanks." He said, looking back down at his paperwork, carrying on like she wasn't there.

"Deeks, please-" Kensi started until she was interrupted by Hetty, making her way into the bullpen.

"Mr Deeks, if you would be so kind to join me in my office." Hetty stated, not leaving any room for argument. Saved by the bell Deeks thought, silently thanking Hetty for interrupting the potentially awkward conversation between himself ad Kensi. He got up from his desk, avoiding Kensi's eyes and following the older woman to her desk.

Once they had sat down Hetty began getting some paperwork out.

"Now Mr Deeks, it seems that your contract of being an NCIS liaison is expiring quite soon – tomorrow in fact. I need you to re-sign this if you would like to continue, liaising here." Hetty directed, gesturing towards the forms in front of Deeks. He picked the pen up and was about to sign his name at the bottom of the paper until his mind stopped him.

Wait. What if he didn't sign it? It's not like Callen and Sam were particularly attached to him, if at all. And Kensi… well she had made it rather clear that she wasn't either. Would it be that bad if he didn't sign them? And went back to LAPD? Sure he didn't particularly like it there, but he was sure it was better than having his heart break every time he went to work in the morning.

"Mr Deeks?" Hetty prompted, breaking him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah? Sorry… I erm… Hetty… I think I might leave it." He mumbled, scratching the back of his head. Hetty narrowed her eyes at him, trying to understand why he wasn't going to sign the papers.

"Why?" She asked curiously.

"I… I think it's time for a change. My position here was never permanent and maybe it's for the best yano… It's not like my charm and good looks are going to good use here…" Deeks tried to joke himself out the situation, but Hetty didn't budge,

"If your sure about this Mr Deeks." Hetty replied, watching him pick up the pen in preparation to sign the paper work.

Xox

Thanks for reading! So chapter 2 will be up soonish, so keep an eye out for that! I might post it early if I get a big response to this chapter, hint hint;) Anyway, if you have time, leave a review on your way out they help me write knowing what you guys want and think of the story! See you later!

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