Percy felt dead inside.

They had moved forward now, walking through the streets and not even bothering to be quiet. It was obvious that they didn't what else to say. They had seen what Bianca had done and they either seemed too traumatized or too depressed to actually talk about what had happened. Percy wished he could say things about Bianca and how her sacrifice had saved them all but the words got clogged in his throat and he realized that he didn't really want to talk about it anymore. He dreaded what was to come next—Nico.

They reached the base by the time the sun was up by the clouds. All three of them were hiding in one corner of an alleyway, not sure if they wanted to keep moving on. Zoe was carrying the other bag of supplies and there was a certain sadness in the way she walked, shoulders hunched forward and hair hanging in front of her face. Percy had never seen her look so broken. Thalia was standing next to her, looking the same way.

"I'm sorry," Zoe said.

Percy felt a wave of sadness wash over him. He looked away, clenched his jaw and said nothing. From the corner of his eye, he saw Thalia shifting her weight from one foot to the other, looking absolutely miserable. Huh, maybe she wasn't so bad, after all. She looked like she didn't even want to enter the base, even though they could all see Luke guarding from the balcony, whistling a happy little tune. Percy wondered what Nico was doing and where Annabeth was.

"Percy, we have to talk about this," Thalia finally spoke up.

"Talk about what, exactly?" Percy demanded, feeling a spark of anger inside his chest. Or maybe it was pain or guilt. Whatever it was, it was growing stronger by the minute. He turned to Thalia, gritted his teeth and continued, "Bianca is dead. She sacrificed her life for us. We don't need to talk about anything."

"You can't just keep it all to yourself!" Thalia said heatedly.

"Well, why not?" he asked stubbornly.

"Because—" she cut off to take a deep breath, "—what you're feeling inside—that anger, that pain and all of that guilt of yours, it won't go away if you ignore it. It's like a wound. It will fester and grow. You need to clean it out so that it won't hurt you anymore. You have to let go." She bit her lip uncertainly, "Look, as crazy as it seems, I know how you feel."

Now Percy was struggling to keep a straight face. He looked down at the ground and for a moment, the pain inside his chest seemed to fade into a faint hum but when he thought of Bianca in her final moments, of the gunshot that killed her, the pain, anger and guilt all rose in tremendous waves. He straightened and glared at Thalia.

"How would you know?" he demanded. "How do you know how I feel? Have you ever seen someone you care about—your friend—kill herself? Have you watched someone take her life away in front of your eyes?"

"You don't know anything, Percy," Thalia seethed, sounding very upset. "I've lost people as well! I care about people, believe it or not! I lost my family. I lost my friends. The only person whom I haven't lost yet is Luke and Annabeth! And I would kill to protect both of them."

Percy felt as if there was something stuck in his throat. Zoe was watching them both carefully, not volunteering any words. He turned away from Thalia, his face burning and feeling quite ashamed. He didn't know what else to say, especially after what she had said, about losing family and friends and about Luke and Annabeth.

"I'm sorry," he said at last.

Thalia didn't say anything. She turned and headed towards the base, waving at Luke who whistled louder. Zoe followed her begrudgingly but before she turned her back on Percy, she glanced back and said,

"It wasn't your fault." She stared at him, waiting for a response.

"I thought you hated me," Percy murmured, adjusting the straps of her bag.

She smiled and it was so bizarre that he stopped moving. She actually looked pretty when she smiled. It made her eyes light up and her stern face to actually soften.

"I don't," she said.

Then she turned and kept walking, her crossbow slung across her back. Percy followed.

.

Annabeth had been the one who reached him first.

When both Thalia and Zoe entered first and Percy trudged behind, she had been standing by the doorway, hands on her mouth, her grey eyes shining. He was alone so she must've known what that had meant. Bianca is dead. He could read it all over her face as he approached her. He tried to stop himself from crying but when she stepped forward and hugged him, he knew that his face had succumbed to a thousand broken pieces and the tears were streaming from his eyes. Her arms around him were comforting and he placed his cheek against her head, stroking her blonde hair. His shoulders were shaking and she was whispering things like, "It's not your fault" and "It's okay, Seaweed Brain."

"Bianca's gone," he murmured.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not."

She stepped back but kept her hands on his shoulders. Her eyes were shining.

"We have to carry on, Percy."

He said nothing to that. He wished he could embrace her once more but instead, he turned away and entered the kitchen where the rest of the group was. Annabeth followed him closely and took his hand, squeezing it. He squeezed back gratefully.

Luke and Thalia were talking by the counter while Zoe hovered close by. Ethan was watching the duo carefully. Silena and Beckendorf were checking out the supplies while Katie stepped over to Percy, worry gnawing at every feature in her face.

"Where's Bianca?" she asked.

Silena, Beckendorf and Ethan looked up. Luke, Thalia and Zoe just looked down at their feet.

Percy shook his head.

Katie looked shocked. Silena let out a choked cry. Beckendorf closed his eyes and swore. Ethan looked mildly pained.

"Where's Nico?" Percy asked.

"Upstairs," Katie answered.

Taking a deep breath, Percy willed his fists to stop shaking. Annabeth gave him a strained smile and said that she needed to talk to Thalia first. As she walked away, Percy watched her.

"You know, she waited for you," Katie said, jarring him back, "She sat in front of the door and waited for you. Kept reading the same book over and over again."

Percy let out a small little laugh but it faded as soon as it came.

"I can imagine her reading," he said, "but I can't imagine her waiting for me."

Katie sighed and brushed a lock of hair away from her face.

"You really can't see it, can't you?" she asked.

"See what?" he replied.

She rolled her eyes and punched him playfully on the shoulder. He staggered back.

"See that she really and genuinely cares for you."

Percy's heart was pounding for no absolute reason. He glanced back at Annabeth who was hugging Thalia. I would kill to protect them, Thalia had said. Percy had wanted to say, I'd kill for her too. It seemed absurdly selfish and he felt ashamed because of it but he couldn't deny the fact that it was true. He looked back at Katie who was looking at him expectantly, her lips curled into a small knowing smile. He shook his head and said,

"She dislikes me. She made an effort in saying out loud. We hated each other at school. Why should things be different now?"

Katie looked exasperated. "Percy, this isn't school anymore."

"Yeah, and I've got better things to think about instead of a girl," Percy said, scoffing.

He thought about Bianca again and felt the same rush of sadness overwhelm him. He looked away from Katie's prying eyes and forced a smile.

"I'm sorry, Percy," Katie said, sounding concerned, "I didn't know Bianca that well but she seemed like a good kid."

"She was," Percy choked out, "She saved our lives."

The rising pain in his chest made him stutter. Katie gave him a proud but tentative smile, took the supplies from him and moved to help Silena with the food. Percy was left standing alone. He was faced with the choice of looking pathetic and pitiful that he had to turn around. Annabeth can wait, he told himself as he stood in front of the stairs, where Nico was standing. He could hear the Stoll brothers talking and laughing. They sounded happy. He hated the fact that he'd have to break the news to them, tell them that one of their group is dead. The Stoll brothers were never good with sadness. Once, somebody had commited suicide at school and they tried to lighten everybody up, because they didn't know what else to do. Percy wished they could find a way to lighten him up.

Percy climbed the steps slowly, thinking about how he could tell Nico that his only family was gone. Hey, Nico, look I know I made a promise to you but Bianca's dead. No that seemed too straightforward. He had to soften the blow somehow, make it less painful. At least he didn't see her die, Percy thought gloomily but that made it seem worse because the kid possibly couldn't have closure. Percy was just looking for many ways to cheer himself up. At least she's not a zombie. The thought made him stop. Fear gripped his heart. What if she came back? What if Nico saw her? He couldn't even begin to imagine the pain. He continued climbing them, with the heaviest weight on his shoulders.

When he reached the top, he saw Travis rolling around the floor and Connor holding his stomach. Nico was sitting among them, wearing a big grin.

"Oh, did you remember the time we egged Katie during her presentation of those stupid plants?" Travis managed to say between breaths.

Connor was red faced. "She was so upset that she didn't speak to us for two months!"

"Man, you guys are awesome," Nico said, chuckling.

Travis ran his hand through his curls, sighing loudly. "We're not awesome."

"We're handsome," Connor said.

"That right? Of course that's right." Travis smiled.

Percy cleared his throat. He dug into his pocket and pulled out the card deck and figurine. The Stolls stopped laughing. Nico looked up and immediately his eyes snapped to the empty space next to Percy.

"Where's my sister?" he sounded high pitched, voice filled with worry and fear.

"Guys, can you leave us alone?" Percy asked.

Travis stood up immediately. Connor started walking. As they went down the stairs, they whispered, "Good luck."

Nico got to his feet slowly. He was looking at Percy with hope and growing fear.

"Where. Is. My. Sister?" he demanded hotly and Percy suddenly realized just how dangerous anger really was.

"She wanted you to have this,"he said, stepping forward and giving him the figurine and card deck. Nico looked down at it and was starting to shake. With his heart pounding, Percy took a hesitant stpe back and waited for the boy's reaction.

Nico's hair covered his dark eyes.

"She's gone, isn't she?"

"I'm sorry." Percy's throat hurt.

Nico looked up and his eyes were full of pain and tears. He threw away the card deck and the figurine and both items crashed against the wall. He turned to Percy and the tears were streaming down his face and his lips were shaking. He didn't seem like an innocent boy anymore. He had seen things and endured so much. He hadn't been broken before but now Percy had broken him. The guilt and sadness hit him full in the chest and Percy was struggling from crying. He wiped at his nose and his hand gripped his shirt to stop his fingers from quivering. Nico was glaring at him but there was something else in his face too, like he was afraid of something.

"You promised you would keep her safe," he said. Reminding Percy of his promse only made everything worse. He felt as if he was being stabbed in the chest.

"I tried," Percy said but his voice was weak, "I tried to protect her. It was drilled in my head but she died a hero, Nico. She saved all-"

"I don't care how she died!" Nico yelled and his eyes flashed with more fear, "I care about the fact that she's dead!"

Percy's head dropped. He took a deep breath.

"I am sorry, Nico," he said.

"Shut up."

"You have to believe me, I really am sorry."

"SHUT UP!"

Nico's voice cracked. He turned away, sobbing and Percy walked over to where he had thrown the figurine and card deck. Picking it up, he frowned at the way the statue's arm had bent. Nico was pacing around the hall, his breathing laboured. It hurt Percy to see him like this but he didn't say anything. Instead, he sat back down and leaned his head against the wall, watching Nico's hands shake as the boy tried to wipe away his tears.

"My sister is dead," he said, licking his dry lips, "I'm alone now."

"You are not," Percy said firmly, "You've got us, and you've got me."

Nico looked up, face tear streaked. For a moment, he didn't speak but then he said,

"Well, I should be lucky right?" Then he let out a small bitter laugh. "Actually, I'm not."

Percy felt as if he had been slapped. He looked down at his feet and wished that he could melt into the ground, disappear so that he wouldn't be able to see the anguish on Nico's face. He was right, though. Nobody should feel lucky if they have him. He couldn't save Tyson and he couldn't save Bianca. He was nothing if he didn't have his friends.

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

"I don't want your apology!" Nico roared. "I just want you to get the hell out of my face!"

Percy bit his lip and nodded. He stood up, put the figurine and card deck on a table and went down the stairs. He could hear Nico swearing and then retreating into his room, slamming the door behind him. Percy climbed the down steps slowly, seeing that Annabeth was waiting for him down below.

"Didn't work out that well?" she asked.

"That's an understatement," he said.

She looked at him carefully. "He will forgive you, you know."

"That's what Bianca said," Percy murmured, setting a hand on the railing, "and she's dead."

"You can't act like this, Percy," Annabeth said seriously.

Percy clenched his jaw, not trusting himself to speak but she was still looking at him and he finally forced some words into his lips.

"It was my fault," he said, "I couldn't hit the zombies properly so she took control but then she was bit so she made us go and before we did, she shot herself, Annabeth. She killed herself."

"Sshh," Annabeth whispered, reaching out and putting her hand on his arm, "You can talk about this when you're ready and it's not your fault, it never was."

Percy hated the fact that everybody was saying that to him but he couldn't just reject their ways to comfort him. He walked towards Annabeth, gave her one more forced smile and disappeared into another room, presumably the office. It was dark and the windows were barred, like every place in this building. There was a simple mahogany table on one side and file cabinets on the other. There was also a couch and a coffee table. Papers were strewn across it but Percy's latched onto a dark stain on the red carpet.

"There was a body here once," somebody said behind him.

The voice was too deep to be Annabeth so when Percy turned around; he was surprised to see Ethan. He was leaning against the doorframe and he was holding what looked like a silver flask. He pointed to the stain.

"When Luke, Thalia and I first came here, there was a dead body of man. Limbs were all around the place, his intestines were…on display and he was losing his jaw. Luke and I had to drag him out and Thalia cleaned all the blood. Didn't really do such a good job of it. It wasn't the first time I had seen something so gruesome, though," he said with a mild amused expression.

Percy sat down on the couch and looked at Ethan carefully.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

Ethan raised the flask, crossed the room and sat on the revolving chair across Percy. He inched closer.

"Thought you might need a little pick me up," he said lightly.

"What is it?" Percy asked.

"Whiskey," the other boy said, grinning, "I found it in the kitchen."

"I don't drink—"

"Bull," Ethan interrupted, letting out a sarcastic laugh, "You need this and I promise you, it dulls the pain." He drank greedily, his eyes never leaving Percy's.

He's right, Percy thought gloomily, Whiskey does dull the pain He had drank once though. Whenever Castor—the name sent a picture full of pain and smashed brain guts, making him wince—and Pollux threw parties in their dorm, whiskey and beer had always been served. Percy didn't like the taste but he liked the feeling that came with it, the dull sense of apathy that seemed to overwhelm his thoughts and muddle his emotions.

"The offer still stands," Ethan said, stretching out the flask.

After a moment's hesitation, Percy took it. He wiped the lip and then sipped tentatively at first then he was practically breathing it all in. Ethan was watching with an amused expression but his dark eyes were calculating.

"How'd you end up here?" Percy asked.

"Just because you're drunk doesn't mean we can share stories of hardship and pain and agony," Ethan said, sneering slightly.

Percy tipped his head to the side and handed him the flask back. He was already feeling the effects and he could feel the dull thudding of his heart. He leaned back against the couch and watched as Ethan drank more.

"We're drunk," Percy said, "We won't remember this."

"I've got resilient memory," Ethan told him.

"Are you always a jackass?"

"Screw you."

Percy laughed then wiped his nose. Ethan passed him the flask again.

"What are you doing with Luke then?" Percy asked.

The other boy looked up sharply and all the amusement seemed to drain from his face. He tapped his fingers against the arm of the chair and leaned back, letting out a dragged sigh. He had a guarded look in his eyes and it made Percy laugh again. He wondered why people were so guarded nowadays, always keeping to themselves, especially when the dire situation called for trust.

"That's none of your business," Ethan snarled.

"We're allies now," Percy reminded him, "It is my business."

Ethan locked his jaw and turned to look away. Percy didn't expect him to talk but the whiskey must've gone through his system. Inside every human soul, there was always a child yearning to speak up. Maybe Ethan's like that too, Percy thought because Ethan looked back at him and said,

"Luke saved my life."

"Did he now?" Percy said, drinking from the flask. The whiskey burned his throat but he endured and treasured it.

Ethan looked very uncomfortable. He crossed his arms and stared at his shoes.

"He was there when no one else was," he continued, "I was alone for three fucking days and I couldn't even kill a zombie back then. I was weak and starving and I was scared. I was scared for my life and then I bumped into him and Thalia and they took me in and I haven't left his side ever since."

Percy wiped his lips with his thumb and looked back at the other boy.

"Can I ask you a question?" he asked.

"You already did," Ethan said, managing a small smile, "but you can ask another."

"Would you kill for Luke?"

"Of course," Ethan said without hesitating, "I'd kill an entire army for him."

Percy chuckled but something was troubling him. He couldn't guess it since his thoughts were too numb. He traced his finger on the silver flask and then his eyes trailed back to the stained carpet.

"You must care for him," he said.

Something flashed across Ethan's face but he quickly hid it.

"You care for that blonde girl as well," he said.

"Annabeth," Percy said, her name like a song on his lips. He looked back at Ethan. "Her name's Annabeth."

"Would you kill for her?" the other boy asked, narrowing his eyes.

Percy didn't answer, not because he wouldn't but because he would and that honest answer scared him. He didn't know what he felt for Annabeth and he didn't know if he liked it or not. Instead, he met Ethan's eyes and said nothing. Ethan knew the answer somehow and he smiled.

"It's okay, ally," he said.

Percy shrugged and then his head fell to the side and soon he was sleeping.

.

The next day, Nico di Angelo was gone.

A/N: Yay! Percy and Ethan friendship. I seriously needed that from the books. Anyway, I hope you all like Nico's reaction. I hope I didn't make them too OOC but to be honest, the Ethan and Percy interaction was the best part about writing this chapter. I'm sorry if it's really short. I was just too excited to make it longer and I guess I just have all the time in the world. Also, there's a Percabeth scene in the next chapter-well, maybe scenes if you put it that way ;) Please keep reviewing and put more of your insights please! The more reviews, the better! They always make my day after all.

~forbiddenquill a.k.a. Mia