"I can't wait till we wrap season two of Game of Gourds," Charlotte grumbled into her phone. "I'm going to sleep for a week."
She couldn't see Charlotte at the other end of the line, but Lizzie could imagine her best friend sacked out on the couch, her face pressed into the cushions. "Hang in there, Char. Just a few more days, and you'll be having quality relaxation time with yours truly. I've already Yelped the best restaurants in the area that deliver, stockpiled cartons of the best ice cream in San Francisco, and compiled a neverending Netflix queue of our favorite movies."
"You really are the best bestie," Charlotte sighed. "Are you sure Darcy's okay with us commandeering his living room and me staying over? I can get a hotel room. It's not like there's a shortage of those in San Francisco."
Lizzie settled into her own couch and picked up the remote control to idly flip through channels. "He was the one who suggested it. His condo has four guest bedrooms. You can't let these ridiculously comfortable beds go to waste."
"Here's a question," Charlotte prefaced in a wry tone that said she already knew the answer, "at what point are you going to stop pretending you don't already live there?"
"Wh-I-uh," Lizzie sputtered, then protested weakly, "I have my own apartment."
"Are you at your apartment right now?"
"Well, no," Lizzie conceded, "but have you sat on this couch, Charlotte? It's so comfortable, I would steal it if I could fit it through the door by myself."
"That couch is unreal. I'll give you that." Charlotte laughed. "Okay, fine. When was the last time you even stepped foot inside your apartment?"
"I, uh..." Lizzie faltered, searching her memory for the last time she went to her place for more clothes. Did she even have clothes there anymore?
"I'm gonna let you off the hook for now," Charlotte said tiredly. "I don't have the energy to help you through your panic when you figure out you moved in months ago."
"No, I didn't!" Lizzie said, her voice just a touch too high. Her eyes scanned the room, mentally cataloging her belongings. The framed photos on the side tables, her shoes near the front door, a stack of her books on the coffee table. At some point, even her house plants migrated to William's balcony. "Oh, God. I think I live here."
"Where is Darcy anyway?" Charlotte cut in, barely able to keep the amusement out of her voice. "It's a Friday night. Shouldn't you both be out on the town, being the digital media power couple you are?"
"Funny," Lizzie deadpanned. "No, I'm enjoying an evening alone with one Mr. Colin Firth and a bowl of popcorn."
"Bridget Jones's Diary?"
"Love Actually."
"I approve. Continue."
"Fitz dragged Will to a bachelor party for a college friend of theirs."
Charlotte let out a small snort of laughter. "I can't imagine Darcy at a bachelor party."
"Probably a lot of fake texting in the corner," Lizzie laughed. "He didn't seem particularly excited to go. I'm more concerned about Fitz. He was weirdly excited to see a stripper."
A loud beep suddenly emitted from Lizzie's laptop on the dining table behind her.
"Sounds like I'm getting a Domino call," she said, making her way across the room. "Must be Gigi. I never get calls from anyone else on here."
"Speaking of Gigi, did you watch the Sanditon beta videos?" Charlotte asked.
"Are you going to comment on how Gigi is apparently the universe's matchmaker?"
"If anyone can get two impossibly oblivious people together, it's her."
"I won't dignify that with a response," Lizzie laughed as she peered at her laptop and took a seat at the table. "Oh, it's a Domino call from Will. That's weird. Why didn't he just call me?"
When she clicked to answer the call, William's face filled the screen. His eyes were a little unfocused as he sipped his drink through a stir straw and grinned at her. "Lizzie! Happy eight month ann'versary, babe!"
"'Babe'?" Lizzie and Charlotte repeated incredulously.
"Will?" Lizzie squinted at the screen to discern the area behind him. "Are you calling me from a bar?"
"Yes, for David's bachelor party." William swayed a bit but caught himself and plopped into a nearby chair. "He's so 'cited to get married. When're we gonna get married, Lizzie?"
Lizzie could only gape at the screen. In her ear, she could hear Charlotte's amused, "Oh, my God. Does this count as a proposal?"
Lizzie did her best to tamp down her laughter as she said, "Uh, Char, I think I have a drunk Domino'ing situation on my hands. I gotta call you back." She ignored Charlotte's pleas to stay on the line as she hung up.
When she turned her attention back to the screen, William's chin was propped on his hand as he gazed at her. "Lizzie, have I told you how extr-extrar...ex-tra-or-di-nar-i-ly proud of you I am? Starting your own comp'ny and already doing so well in your first six months. You're so intel-" hiccup "-intelligent and beautiful, Lizzie Bennet. I dunno how I got to be so lucky to have you in my life."
"Oh, Will," she chuckled fondly. "I'd tell you all about how lucky I am to know you if I thought you'd remember this in the morning."
In the bar, the music changed to a familiar pop song. William tilted his head to better hear it.
"Lizzie!" he said, making her jump from his sudden change in tone. "D'you hear that song? Remember at Netherfield when you expersed-wait, no-expressed interest in this young British boy band to Caroline? I heard you, and the next day, I spent hours reading 'bout them on the chance I could strike up a conversat-conver...talk to you 'bout them."
"You learned about One Direction for me? That is the sweetest, most horribly misguided thing I've ever heard."
Before William could admit any more details, a loud voice cut in. "Darcy! Hey, man! I was wondering where you wandered off to. Let's trade drinks. You can have this delicious non-alcoholic water, and I'll take your bad idea of a gin and tonic. Are you on the phone?" Fitz's face entered the frame. He smiled brightly at the screen. "Oh, hey, Lizzie B! Did Darcy drunk dial you?"
It took all of Lizzie's power to keep her laughter in check. "Yes. Yes, he did."
Fitz laughed and shook his head. "Darce, stay here for a sec. Let me have a quick word with your better half."
"Bye, honey!" William called as Fitz pried the phone from his hand.
"Hi!" Fitz greeted Lizzie, his furrowed brow betraying his cheery tone. "I just want to say, for the record, that this was not my doing. Okay, well, I did force the first two shots, but the next two were on David...as were the three beers...and the two piƱa coladas were Brandon's fault."
"It's hard to be upset when your boyfriend drunk dials you to confess he researched a boy band just to impress you." Lizzie finally let out the laugh she'd been holding in. "Oh, my God, I've never seen him like that. I had no idea he was such a happy drunk."
"I'll trade you drunken college stories for details on Darcy's boy band research."
"Deal. We'll talk tomorrow." She paused and narrowed her eyes.
"What's that look?" Fitz asked. "Is that your annoyed look? Is it because of Darcy's future hangover or his current drunk dialing? Because the latter isn't my fault. I did take away his phone! I only gave it back to him when he tried to call you on his gin and tonic, and he disappeared on me. He's surprisingly stealthy for a sasquatch."
"No, I'm not annoyed. I'm trying to figure out if it would make me a bad girlfriend if I asked for photographic proof of tonight."
"Only if it would make me a bad best friend to willingly snap some photos if the proper situation arose."
"He's going to break up with both of us."
Fitz laughed. "Not if we keep any evidence between the two of us. And Gigi, probably."
"Charlotte knows," Lizzie said absently. "She was privy to an inadvertent marriage proposal earlier."
"What?"
"I probably should've kept that part to myself," she muttered, putting a hand to her forehead.
"Drunk proposals count!"
Lizzie shot him a pointed glare. "Anyway, I'll let you get back to...whatever it is you do at a bachelor party." Fitz opened his mouth to answer, but she cut in, "I don't need to know the answer to that."
"Got it. Talk to you later, Lizzie B!"
"Oh, hey, Fitz?" She paused, suddenly feeling a little silly for even asking. "Can you please keep an eye on him?"
"Don't worry. I'll make sure he gets home in one piece."
"You're the best, Fitz."
Lizzie hung up and quickly checked her Domino settings to ensure their conversation would not be automatically uploaded. It was one thing to publicly post the Darcy family's hunt for George Wickham as a beta test. The world did not need to see the CEO of Pemberley Digital drunk dialing his girlfriend. Or, rather, the world probably wouldn't mind it, but William would definitely kill her.
William stumbled into bed around 3 AM. Lizzie drowsily noted his arrival when she felt the familiar pressure of his arm wrap around her waist and heard a mumbled, "No more drinking with Fitz."
In the morning, Lizzie took pity on William and let him sleep in, turning off the ringer on his phone and taking the morning to run errands. She left him with a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water on the nightstand.
It was well past noon when Lizzie heard the low rumble of William cursing in the bathroom and the sound of the shower running. She started a pot of coffee for him and settled back at the counter with her laptop. He emerged freshly showered, but his tired eyes and slight hunch of his shoulders told the story of a man who had a late night.
"Morning," William said, his voice rough. He dropped a light kiss on Lizzie's temple as he trudged over to the coffee maker.
"Something like that," Lizzie laughed lightly. "How was last night?"
"I wouldn't know," William said, pouring himself some much needed caffeine. He took a sip and set the mug down next to Lizzie, leaning heavily against the counter. "Remind me to never drink around Fitz again."
"It went well, I take it." Lizzie had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling too brightly.
As he took another sip, William paused as if remembering something. "Did I call you last night?"
"Yes," she said, trying to hide her smile in her own mug.
"I am loathe to ask what I said."
"You don't remember anything?"
"Not much. I vaguely remember something about music?" He shook his head slightly, then stopped suddenly as if the movement pained him. "In any case, I apologize if I said anything-"
"You were nothing but a gentleman," Lizzie assured him.
He looked visibly relieved but continued, "Still, if I ruined your evening in any way-"
"Will, stop," she said gently. "You did nothing wrong. You told me you were proud of me. It's hard to be mad at that."
"Well, I am proud of you."
Lizzie smiled fondly at him. "If that's the type of confession you make when drunk, you should go out with Fitz more often."
William grimaced. "Pass. I can tell you these things sober without risking a hangover."
Lizzie waited until William brought his coffee cup to his lips again and said as casually as she could around the laugh building in her throat, "I spoke with Gigi yesterday. She said there's a band coming to town. I hear they're popular and really good for dancing. You like that kind of music, right? I think they're called One Direction."
William choked on his coffee.
A/N: Thank you to Beetsbearsbsg and Courtknees for reading this and for generally being awesome. Extra thank you to Courtney or the title idea. Thanks also to Levondrious for loaning me the "drunk Darcy calling Lizzie on his gin an tonic" joke. And my first born goes to Diaphenia for making me post this, being an unbelievably helpful beta, helping me write drunk dialogue (because of course), and cheering me on. We're getting married in a Pitch Perfect-themed wedding. You're all invited.