Days Earlier...

"Goddamnit, Joker! Get your ass back here!" Batman's breathing was heavy, as he followed Joker closely behind. The night was cold, damp, from the earlier rain. The rooftops were slippery, and a misstep could prove fatal tonight. The fog seemed to swallow the city, long tendrils wrapping themselves around buildings, through the streets and alleyways, making the already dirty and crime-filled city seem even more foreboding, with a full moon in the air. Seeing more than twenty feet in front of you would be impossible. The Batman's boot scuffed the concrete roof, as he jumped across to another, and continued on.

He could faintly see the dingy purple coat in front of him, as the clown jumped another building, landing gracefully, and continuing on. Batman would be lying if he said his lungs weren't burning. He could hear Joker in front of him, but seeing him proved difficult. He listened carefully, and could hear Joker's expensive Italian shoes crunching roof gravel, splashing in the puddles, and then it stopped.

Batman ran ahead a few paces, and stopped to look around. He couldn't see anything. He switched on his cowl's detective mode, and looked around, but saw nothing...wait...His thoughts were shattered when a lithe body jumped him from behind, legs wrapping around him, the body on top of him pounding him in the head with a fist.

"Wragh!" Batman through Joker forward, the Joker letting out a disgruntled wheeze, attempting a breathless giggle, as he curled into a fetal position, trying to catch his breath.

Batman stalked over to him, the weightless fog closing around them, the lights from the city fireflies in the distance. He grabbed Joker's collar, pulling him up face to face. The smile never left Joker's lips.

"Hey ya', Bats."

There was no response. There usually wasn't. Batman didn't like engaging himself in conversation with the clown, unless it was equally rewarding, such as taunting him, which he haughtily enjoyed.

"Goddamn it, Joker! What the hell were you thinking? ?!"

Joker opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. "I wasn't really thinking at all, Bats. I told you billion times!" His voice took on a new tone, a ferocious one, as his foot slammed into the dark knight, sending the Batman sprawling backward, Joker landing gracefully on the ground. "It wasn't me!"

Faster than Batman could think, Joker was on him in seconds, pounding him relentlessly with a fist. Batman reached up and tried to grab him, but Joker jumped away, kicking him in the side, rolling him over. He jumped on him once more. Batman's vision was fuzzing at the edges, with the blows coming from the side, hitting him in the temple. He jerked back an elbow, feeling in connect with Joker's jaw, producing a sickly sweet cracking sound, as Kevlar connected with skin.

"AH!" Joker's eyes took on a dark malevolence, pure unrivaled rage. "Raaargh!" Joker shoved his arm away roughly, before he grabbed the Batman's head. Batman could feel the force of Joker's hands, feeling like his skull was being crushed. A sudden flash erupted, with pain in his forehead, then another, and another, as Joker slammed his head into the concrete, over and over and over again, until he lost consciousness.

After a few more smashes, Joker stopped, hands still resting on Batman's cowl, before he jumped off of Batman, making a spitting sound of disgust. The red in his vision slowly dissolved. His green eyes fixated on the motionless body of the Batman, and a sickly churning feeling clenched his insides. His smile faded.

"Bats..." It was more of a breathless word, than a call. He walked over to the motionless body, cautiously at first, before his movement became quickly erratic and shaky. He grabbed Batman's body roughly, flipping in over with ease, and grabbing his face. "Batsy!" He slapped Batman's face a few times, turning it back and forth, but earned no reaction. He pressed his ear to Batman's chest, trying almost futilely to hear a heartbeat under the Kevlar. When he didn't hear anything, his eyes widened, and his voice was shaky, "No...no way...not possible...is it?"

Just then a hand grabbed him by a fistful of hair. He jumped nearly out of his skin, as he looked up at Batman. His smile abruptly returned, and his whole face showed his joy. His voice was confident and joyful once more, "Ooo, hoo hoo, Batsy, hahaha, I thought, I thought I, hah hoo hoo, I thought I killed you! But no, the Batman wouldn't let something as meaningless as that kill him, would you Batsy?" He stopped, in thought for a moment, "Would you?"

"Get off." Batman threw him off, sending him into a door that led down to the apartments below. His head was pounding and he was angrier than hell. All he wanted to do was pound the clown into a giggling mess of blood and bruises. Joker gazed up at him from the ground, a malevolent smile plastered on his lips. He stalked over, and with great force, lifted Joker off the ground, and slammed him into the door. They gazed at each other, and their eyes locked. For a moment, Batman just studied him. Entranced, almost. His green eyes were lazily staring into his, taunting him almost, his lips pulled back into a smug smile, his eyebrows lowered and arched. The arteries in his neck was pulsing hard, trying to get oxygenated blood past Batman's hand, which was firmly clamped onto his throat. Joker was breathing out of his mouth, breaths coming in short ragged gasps, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. A single strand of green hair hung limply over his forehead.

"It wasn't me..." Joker's voice came out scratchy and ragged. Batman didn't believe him. He lied too much. "What do you mean, it wasn't you?" His hand clamped down harder than he intended, closing his airway completely, sending Joker into a coughing fit. He loosened his hand immediately, as the clown coughed and sputtered, trying to grab his throat, he looked up with hazy eyes.

"I mean, it wasn't me, dumbass." Batman just glared at him harder. "What are you talking about Joker, I saw you, you were there."

"I was there, I was, but I didn't do it. I swear to you, it wasn't me this time!" Batman considered Joker's point for a moment. Joker had been there, but he was right. He hadn't seen him physically commit the crime. He shook Joker for a moment, the clowns feet inches from the ground. "Then if you didn't do it, why were you there, hm?" Joker gazed at him with a certain look that he couldn't place.

"They told me that they wanted to talk about a business deal. So I went over there, and the bastards tried to take me captive. Then you showed up, saved the kiddies, and chased after me while the others got away, you fool. Ya, you know. Penguin and Two-Face, it was them. But your cute little, ah, lets cal lit an obsession, with me, cost you the crooks. All you got was little ol' me. And I didn't even do anything. Great job detec-"

Batman slammed Joker's head into the door, sending bright stars through Joker's vision.

"Hahahaha!" He laughed. Batman dropped him, beginning to pace back and forth.

"Do you know where they are, Joker?" Batman asked, demanding more like. Joker just giggled, and nodded, "Mmm-Hmmm." Joker giggled, as he stood, brushing off his already dingy and disgusting suit.

"Well? Tell me! Now!" Batman stepped closer, ready to grab Joker's neck if need be. "Relax, Batman...I'll tell you. No need to get all," Joker stepped extremely close to Batman, putting a hand on his chest, and leaning in close, till they were face to face, "personal." His voice was a husky whisper. Batman looked at him, and for a moment, Bruce Wayne considered the possibilities that could happen if he allowed this closeness to continue. Bruce had long since realized the clown's sexual cues, and he'd be lying if he said he hadn't been tempted to allow this to happen, but now wasn't the time. He shoved Joker away, and stepped back. Joker giggled. "Two-Face and Penguin are in the birds little ship-casino or whatever. They're both staying there. The Toddler thing was just a diversion to keep you away. And apparently I ended up being the bait. Those assholes told me they'd let me in on their little escapade, I show them low-life two-bit fake-ass crimi-"

"Joker shut up. I'm thinking." Batman was trying to remember. And then he did. Penguins casino was in a large cruise ship docked at the port. He sighed. He couldn't go today. He'd do it tomorrow. He grabbed Joker's right arm roughly, and pulled it behind his back.

"Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow-"

"Stop it! Walk, now." Batman led Joker to the side of the roof, and used his grapple to repel down the side of the building, to where he called the Batmobile. He shoved Joker roughly into the passenger side, and climbed in the drivers side himself.

"Oooo, where are we goin' Bats? Oo tell me, tell me! Arkham? Penguin's Casino? A bar?" He inhaled loudly, "Your...house?!"

"Shut Up, Joker!"

"Oo, I wanna go to your house!" He inhaled loudly, and quite obnoxiously, once more. His tone dropped very low, and became husky, seductive. "We could have a lot of fun there, you know?" He gazed at Batman, a smug look on his face, and something...lust...evident in his emerald eyes. Batman just stared at the road. "If I don't take you to Arkham, you are going to promise to help me, do you understand me?" Joker gazed out the window. "Joker?!"

"Yes! Gosh," Joker exhaled, exasperated, "I understand, Jeez Bats...relax..."

"Ok. We're...going to my...house...I guess." Batman didn't worry about Joker knowing he was Bruce Wayne. Joker already knew. And he didn't care. As far as Joker was concerned, Batman was the real guy, and Bruce Wayne was the fake.

All Joker cared about was their little 'dances' or so he called them.

"OO! So you were listening to me! You know, about the fun we could have."

"Tsk, no! I'm taking you there for safe-keeping is all. Your too dangerous for me to let you run around free. If your not in Arkham, your with me. Got it?"

Joker huffed, pouting evidently. "Fiiiiine..." He sighed loudly. "Oh, but think of all the fun we could have," The husky low tone was back, "in your house all alone...in the dark." Batman reached over, and smashed Joker's head into the window of the Batmobile, and nearly drove off the rode.

"HAHAHA!" Joker screeched, laughing hysterically, as the man in the oncoming car beeped loudly at Batman. "Son of a-Joker! Shut the fuck up! Do you hear me!? Don't Say anything, Do anything, or touch anything, until we get there! Understand!?"

Joker just gazed lazily back at him, like Batman yelling at him hadn't fazed him in the slightest. "Yep."

"You sure?!"

"Okay, yes! Sheesh, you know-"

"No! I said shut it!" Batman spared a few seconds to glare at Joker, before watching the road once more. Joker gave him a raspberry, but was quiet.

Joker sighed heavily, and looked out the window as they crossed Wayne bridge, toward Wayne Manor. Joker could have laughed out loud. There are tons of things named after Brucie's family, isn't there?

The only thing that shared his last name was the old Napier church. His memory was slightly foggy, but he could still remember mostly decently. He believed it had belonged to his grandfather.

When the tall buildings disappeared, he could see Wayne Manor in the distance. The mansion was quite large. As they pulled into the driveway, he could see the butler's silhouette in the window, moving about, cleaning no doubt. The Batmobile stopped.

"Get out." Batman demanded, as he stepped out. Joker did as he was told, and grabbed Joker's arm, leading him to the house, when they got near the metal mailbox, Batman cuffed him to it.

"Stay here. I have to park the Batmobile...somewhere." And with that, the big bad Bat was gone.

Joker looked around the neatly kept grounds of the mansion. He exhaled, and giggled when his breath shown in the air. The air was nippy, and it was foggy. It had just rained. It was dark out, to. He had begun thinking about getting out of his cuffs when he saw his Bat coming up the driveway on foot. He got almost giddy at the site of him.

Batman uncuffed him, and led him inside. The warm air radiating out of the mansion hit Joker in the face, and it was welcome. It immediately warmed his chilled bones. "Alfred!" Batman called out, "I'm back! And I've brought company."

"Very good sir," Alfred walked in, and nearly dropped the tray he was carrying when he saw the Joker. Alfred's body began to tremble, and Batman began to worry that the old man would have a heart attack. But then he regained his composure professionally, and walked into the kitchen. "Alright, Joker, follow me." He led Joker into a type of living room with a couch and television. He sat Joker on the couch, and turned on cartoons. "Sit right here. Don't move, don't touch anything, don't do anything. Do you here me? I don't care if you have to go to the bathroom. You call me first. Got it?"

Joker laughed at the television, before turning back to Batman, and nodded casually. "I'm serious, Joker, if you try to leave, its right back into Arkham for you."

"I got it Batsy-Baby, kay? I'll just sit right here and watch cartoons." Joker patted Batman's arm, and then went back to watching the television.

Batman was skeptical, but continued into his bedroom upstairs. He needed to change.

There was a lot of things to do.