AUP Extra for pansexualbreakfast on tumblr, where this was originally posted! She said "I adore Zosan as pairing and the only thing that tops Zosan is Zoro and Sanji as parents ;o; could you maybe do a one-shot about them getting cockblocked by their baby but also still managing to have sex?"
Alsoo I cant remember if this is set before the last extra chapter or not OTL just please enjoy it if you haven't already!

Sanji grinned down at Satoru, mimicking the gummy smile the infant wore on his face from where he lay on the bed. It was settling on night time now and the ship was rocking gently on the waves, a certain mini Marimo that wasn't even old enough to crawl was refusing to accept his bed time.

No, instead he liked to lay there, happily looking up at Sanji's face, giving funny and dry belly laughs as he spoke and pinched lightly at his feet inside footy pajamas. He'd try and sing too, but it only made Satoru smile more and fight off the night as much as he could.

Normally, Sanji wouldn't have minded. These days he lived for moments like these with his son and wouldn't change it for the world.

Unfortunately, he wasn't the only man in Sanji's life. And although it didn't sound like the most appealing thing at times, he had some kind of agreed obligation and engagement to the bastard. At least once in a while, when they were allowed, Zoro should be given some attention too. Some.

So it wasn't long before the door to their secluded room opened and Zoro let himself in quietly, wearing an expectant and excited expression - this wasn't exactly spur of the moment, after all, the Marimo had been looking forward to it. But that didn't explain why the baby was somehow still up and awake and had now turned his face to look and scowl at him. That was okay, though, apparently that's how Marimos showed affection to one another anyway.

"Oi, I thought you were going to put him to sleep?" Zoro furrowed his brows, approaching the bed and peeling off his shirt as he walked.

Sanji sighed and eased back a little against his pillows, already down to his boxers, but being held hostage by the tiny grip on his finger.

"Idiot, he doesn't want to go," he tried to explain, giving a half hearted shrug. "You're the baby whisperer, you put him to sleep."

Zoro growled slightly under his breath. They were supposed to be having foreplay right about now or something, envisioning things Satoru needed to wait 30 years to even dream about. Still, he wasn't going to give up on his sex night so easily- he needed this more than he'd let the cook know.

"Alright, hand him here, just remember to take notes this time cook."

The blond rolled his eyes, pulling himself up to cradle his child and pass him over. He wasn't yet convinced whether or not Zoro could really calm a mini Marimo beast, but that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy the attempt.

Zoro held Satoru close, looking down at his curious expression. Damn, why did he have to look so wide awake? Where was Brook with a lullaby when they needed them. Feeling like an idiot for just standing still, Zoro slowly began to rock him.

This lasted about around two minutes - Sanji made sure to count - before Zoro gave in, turned to Sato's crib and laid him down inside.

If he couldn't make him rest he would just have to take advantage of the silence and get as far as he can. Quickly, Zoro turned back towards the bed, practically jumping on it and Sanji at the same time.

"Dammit, Marimo, what did I say about jumping everywhere?"

"Shut up cook, told you I could do it. Now lets-"

So much for silence. As if his son was mocking him, Satoru began crying right as Zoro's lips hovered in front of Sanji's. Future world's greatest swordsmen hung his head in slight shame. Dammit.

Ignoring how Sanji felt the need to burst into laughter, the Marimo pulled himself back out of bed and hovered over the crib. Where miraculously, Satoru stopped wailing the minute he spotted him. Zoro narrowed his eyes and leaned lightly against the rail.

"Oi, we going to have a problem here or are you and I going to need to talk?"

He muttered, reaching down and pulling a blanket onto his son. "We agreed to share."

He stared a few moments into those blue eyes that so reminded him of Sanji's, watching him with such pity, like he was thinking the same thing the cook would. Why are you trying to have a civil conversation with a baby? But obviously it was needed, definitely when every time following it Satoru made sure to cry when Zoro tried to make a run for a quickie with the cook and to laugh the minute he had to come back to him to keep the peace.

"Just give up, shit head, bring him back over here and we can plan on sometime later. There's nothing wrong with the crows nest."

Zoro gritted his teeth. That was besides the point. "Don't question the want for a man to use the bed, it's important. Besides, he's doing this on purpose."

"He's a baby, it makes him laugh, idiot."

Zoro huffed, irritated. Still besides the point. Even if it's his son he couldn't just let this pass, he'd been so determined. He took a minute while Satoru was distracted babbling happily to look around the room. Then another option came to mind and he made his way to their closet, even knowing it would get Satoru started again. Sanji, on the bed, face palmed and started to get up on his own.

Zoro wouldn't let him though, he grabbed something and gestured Sanji back, bringing it over to the crib to display.

It was a tie. Sanji's of course, much to his worry, with a nice pattern and unique coloring. Perfect for the overly interesting eyes of a baby to lock on to instantly. Swallowing thickly, Zoro watched then slowly backed up and to the bed.

Then gently he guided Sanji down with him and grinned.

"What did I say? I told you I could do it," he reminded.

Sanji raised an eyebrow, shooting a quick glance at the crib and back. "I didn't call you a baby whisperer for nothing, Marimo."

Finishing what they were interrupted from before, they kissed the first time that night before pulling away.

"Yeah, but we've got like five minutes. Are you ready?"

"Whenever you are."

Thank you MyladyDay for betaing!