Disclaimer: Don't own any series mentioned here.

Author's note: I know what you're all going to be thinking: 'another story? What about the others?'. Yes, well, this little idea popped into my head as I was writing this. I came to the realization that when I originally started the first Hand of Fate story, the plot line was done at a point in the Buffy canon in which it was one of the worst times while Xander and the girls were young, and they all made decisions that were bad. However, if anyone paid attention, Xander's decisions always came back and hurt him, but when looking at Buffy and Willow, there's were even worse, yet they get royal treatment from everyone else. Essentially, by changing the plot and doing crossovers, the point was to show how leaving things in the hands of two young girls whose decisions proved more selfish and never truly considered the big picture and the consequences, and that outcomes can be better when there is true teamwork, not following someone who thinks that might makes right, especially when in canon they've only made things worse. There's also the consideration that fate and destiny are two separate things. Fate is where you were manipulated to doing things one way, essentially making free will null. So with Xander and the others having a group made up of the characters from the series I've thrown in, essentially, they gain their free will back. Now I imagine some of you think that my opinions on Buffy and Willow are sexist, and I'll tell you now, you're fulling yourselves. If you re-watch the show objectively, especially during season 2, you'll realize that the truth of matter is Buffy and Willow have both made decisions, many of which selfish, that had caused more problems than they had really solved, yet Whedon has Xander taking more crap than anyone. My point is, don't let Whedon full you into thinking he's some genius when the truth is actually far from it. Anyway, here is the first chapter of an alter universe in Hand of Fate. Enjoy.

Sunnydale High School

Late January, 1999

Xander Harris stood in the basement looking at Jack O'Toole, resident thug and zombie, as the bomb atop a few drum barrels counted down with only seconds to remain. Xander knew that he had taken a major risk in getting involved once he found out what happened to O'Toole. However, he knew in his heart that he couldn't let this happen to his friends. Unfortunately, he was still battling with his emotions over the situation itself. His friends, if he could really call them such at this point, were battling to stop another apocalypse from unleashing hell on earth. He would've gladly done anything to help them prevent, but everyone had left him in the dark. Ever since he and Willow were caught cheating on their significant others, things had gotten worse, particularly the fact that he had the blame dumped solely on him. Never mind the fact that Willow had made the choice to kiss him willingly, just as he did her. However, he realized that Buffy and Willow had become attached to each others' hips, and that the only who mattered outside the group was Giles, for his knowledge. Faith on the other hand mattered because she was a slayer, or more correctly the slayer, and needed to help fight off the invasion from hell. He thought happily about her taking his virginity until he remembered being thrown out in his boxers, clothes in hand. He hated the picture his thoughts painted and realized that the truth was that he would likely be nothing to group with the way things were going.

Xander looked up to O'Toole and saw the fear in the zombie's eyes as the countdown neared zero. At that moment, the tides of fate had changed. Jack O'Toole, for all his tough guy bravado, made a break for the door before Xander could even think of reacting. The zombie was out of the boiler room before anything else could be done. Xander looked back at the clock and saw that there were only three seconds left. All that was left was a fiery abyss that engulfed him and the entire room, before everything went dark.

Inside the library, the rest of the scoobies had just killed the hellmouth spawn and the Jhe demons. Willow and Giles had finished the spell, which culminated in a bright white light that flashed before it was gone. The battle to re-seal the hellmouth was over. Buffy strode over to the group, holding her arm, which had been broken in the fight, amazed that they survived.

"We did it," the blonde slayer said out loud.

"Yeah. We won," Willow said, still reeling from the battle. However, the reverie was cut short as the gang felt a great rumble beneath their feet.

"What the hell?! We just sealed the damn thing! It can't be coming back!" Faith shouted.

"I don't think that's the hellmouth. It was directly below our feet," Angel surmised.

"We'd better check the boiler room," Giles said, retrieving the tranquilizer gun then making his way towards the door with everyone else following.

When everyone reached the boiler room, they were shocked at the condition that it was in. The entire room appeared as if it had been scorched. They noticed that there were remnants of drum barrels, which they figured helped with whatever happened. However, no one was entirely concerned about that as Willow went over to the closet where her boyfriend was. The redheaded witch slowly opened the door and found Oz in his wolf form, curled up and shaking. However, the next instance, he had reverted back to his human self. He sat up groggily and looked around before realizing his nude state.

"What happened?" he asked his girlfriend.

"W-we don't know. But as far as I can tell, there was an explosion. And a rather large one, yet we're still standing," Giles explained.

"But who did it? And why? And why am I asking? We hate this place," Buffy said.

"Whoever did it is gone, so I guess we'll just worry about it later," Willow suggested.

"Yes well. But I think one of us should at least check on Xander. We need to be sure that he was indeed safe," Giles added.

"He seemed fine to me when I saw him earlier," Willow said.

"You saw him too?" Faith asked.

"Yeah, I-wait, too?" the witch-in-training asked the dark slayer.

"Yeah. I ran into him earlier. I was getting my ass handed to me by one of those demons when all of a sudden he rams the damn thing with his car. If he hadn't saved my life, I might not have been able to help," Faith explained.

"WHAT?!" Willow and Buffy exploded after hearing the story.

"H-he wasn't supposed to be doing anything with slaying! He was supposed to be somewhere safe and out of trouble," Willow said.

"I'll have to talk to him tomorrow," Buffy said.

"Hold on, what's the problem here?" Faith asked feeling that something was off. The two other girls of the group looked strangely nervous about what they were going to reveal.

"Well, remember the other night Xander had gotten hurt. When we found out this was another apocalypse, we thought it best to keep him out of the loop, so he didn't get hurt," Buffy quickly explained.

"Was it so he didn't get hurt or that he didn't get in the way?" Faith asked.

"Of course it's so he didn't get hurt! But it's like trouble just seems to follow him," Willow replied.

"And what made you think this plan was even foolproof? Would the demons just see him and just leave him alone? They were going to wipe us out if they beat us, so why would they leave X alone? Plus those demons know who we are, so if he would've been worse off if they even caught him by himself. While we're on the subject, did he even say why he was out to begin with? When he drove me back to the motel, I found some weird stuff in the backseat," Faith asked the blonde and redhead.

"Weird how?" Buffy asked, getting over the toned down tongue-lashing her sister slayer dealt out.

"If I didn't know any better, it looked stuff for a home-made..." Faith trailed off as the line of thought led to a disturbing conclusion.

"Oh lord," Giles said as he came to the same conclusion.

"What is it?" Buffy asked her de facto watcher.

"I ran into Xander as well. I noticed he was with three other young men, one I believe was Jack O'Toole. He must've been with them when they got the supplies.," Giles figured.

"But then he must've figured out what they were doing-oh no!" Willow yelped. Before anyone could ask, Angel stormed back in with the thug in question being dragged in by his jacket collar.

"Angel, when did you leave?" Buffy asked.

"Not important. I went out to see if there was anyone else here. I found one corpse that had it's head smashed by the vending machine in the cafeteria, another one looked like he was eaten. And this guy here isn't even human. He's a zombie," Angel explained.

"Were you the one who put this bomb here?" Buffy demanded.

"Yeah I did. I wanted to blow up this shitty place. This place would be sky high if it wasn't for your boy, Harris. But it looks like he wasn't smart enough to stop it," O'Toole said smiling grimly.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!" Buffy yelled lunging at him, only for Faith to hold her back.

"Didn't have to do anything except save my ass, especially after what he did to my boys," O'Toole replied with a sneer.

"Oh god!" Willow broke down knowing what he meant. Giles looked down in regret while Angel tried to keep a passive expression. Before anyone could react, Faith strode over to Jack and grabbed him by his head, before she gave it a sharp twist and broke his neck.

"What the hell?! He was talking! He was going to tell us what happened to Xander!" Buffy yelled.

"No he wasn't. You heard him. He turned tail and ran. And look at this place. The explosion should've roasted us, but only this room was hit, and even Oz is still here. Whatever happened, Xander's not here," Faith said before storming off back tot he hallways. Buffy rushed after her hoping to catch her.

"Faith wait! What's wrong with you? I didn't eve think you and Xander were close," Buffy said, with Faith's back to her. Faith turned around and revealed tear streaks on her face.

"Faith?" Buffy asked, caught off guard by the tough girl's appearance.

"He saved my life tonight. Twice. And after what I did. He saved us all after we abandoned him. He didn't even have to but he jumped in head first, knowing he could die. What the fuck does that say about us Buffy?!" Faith asked, as her voice hitched with the emotions running through her.

"I don't know," Buffy lamely replied.

"I'll tell you. It means we suck. We're supposed to watch out for people and save them when their trouble. Instead he saved m, but I used him the way guys used me and tossed him out without a second thought. I can't even trust myself let alone you guys," Faith said before turning away.

"Faith of course you can trust us, we're your friends," Buffy defended. Faith looked angrily at her, as if she was ready to tear her head off.

"Friends? Friends?! Are you fucking kidding me?! When I got here, you got all bitchy because you weren't the center of attention. Don't think I didn't notice the looks you had when we met. The only time we ever talk is on patrol. And when Fang came back, you showed me it was basically him, a goddamn vampire, over us. And now I find out you and Willow kicked him out? He's been fighting with you guys for two years, and this is how you repay him? You don't even want me around unless it suits you. I wouldn't be surprised if this is how he felt. Yeah, he doesn't have powers, but he's shown that he's not useless. Maybe he did cheat on Queen C. But then Willow cheated on Oz. Is that the real reason why you kicked him out? Because things don't go the way either of you want when he's around?! I'd hate to see what you'd do to me. So no Buffy, we're not friends. We never will be," Faith said before she stormed off, heading back to her room. Buffy could only watch in abject shock from how much Faith unloaded on her.

Unknown location

Unknown time

It was still dark from what Xander could see. However, this was different from what he experienced after the explosion. Everything was dark, yet there was also a strange sense of emptiness, and the strange lights accompanying the dark did not sit well with him..

"Where the hell am I?" Xander said out loud.

"Hell certainly isn't the place," came a voice the young man did not recognize. He looked around and saw someone wearing a casual blue button-down shirt, with black pants. However, the odd part of his appearance as his hair, which was silver and looked combed back.

"That's oddly comforting, but it doesn't quite answer my question," Xander shot back.

"Right then. Well, I'll ask you this. What do you know out the creation of the universe?" the strange man asked. Xander shrugged as he thought about the question.

"Well, the way it goes is that there was nothing, then there was an explosion and the universe and stars were made, then came earth and the planets. And according to Giles, there were Old Ones, demons who ruled the world until we mere mortals fought back," Xander explained. He noticed the man had frowned deeply at the explanation of creation.

"I see. Well, first off, your friend's account of the world's history with demons is wrong. Yes they had ruled over some humans but the world was not theirs. I should know all things considered," the man said.

"You're a demon?!" Xander said in fear. The man simply rolled his eyes.

"No. I'm nothing like those unholy ones. Your time on the hellmouth has done you no good. But I'll get to that in time. As for where you are, you said it your self," the strange man said. Xander thought about his response before it dawned on him.

"I'm in nothing?" he asked.

"In a manner of speaking. Where we are is the existence outside of the physical creation of the known...multiverse," the man said with a slight smirk.

"Multiverse? You're kidding right?" Xander asked.

"Not at all. In fact, look at the lights here and tell me what you see," the man said. Xander looked at each one directly and was shocked at what he found.

"I see me and my...friends. All of us going through different things. But how? And why?" Xander asked looking at the man.

"It's rather simple. You've heard of the idea of a multiverse in those...comic books you've enjoyed reading. But I'll give you a simpler version of what you know. What you see here are dimensions similar yet separate and different from each other. This is because of the choices made that can affect the timelines. In one world, you made the choice of actually staying out of the fight on the night the hellmouth opened. Your friends succeed in killing the demons, but the hellmouth remains open. In another, you gain power that not only helps you fight more effectively, but also saves a number of lives as a result. And in one, your friend Jesse lives and you both gain powers opposite of each other. What have you noticed was the common point between these dimensions?" the man asked.

"Me. You're talking me. Something I did or involved me changed something. But I'm nothing special. Why are you telling me this?" Xander asked.

"You only think yourself as nothing because factors have been manipulated to make you doubt yourself. You've always been full of much potential, yet there are forces that were at work to squander your possibilities to suit their wants. Do you really think it's a coincidence that you're still alive when others would've and have already died after what you've encountered?" the man asked.

"So why am I so special?" Xander asked in frustration.

"As I said, it was no coincidence that you were to be drawn into the supernatural. There are higher forces that have ensured that certain people are gifted with certain abilities once they reach a certain mark in their lives. You hit yours just before you met the slayer. Of course, it doesn't help if said do everything to make sure you become her lap dog than her own protector," the man said.

"She had Angel for that," Xander gritted out through his teeth.

"Hmph. Yes, the vampire with a soul as her protector. They both knew about the curse that was used to latch his soul to his body. Curious that they never even bothered to research the curse let alone would could have set it off. She trusts the one person in their group capable of betraying them, even more so than the one who has been there for her more often than he ever was. After all, you were the one who went after to try and save your friend. You were the one who had been watching her back, to protect her ever since you learned about the supernatural. But nothing has ever truly pushed to realize your potential. As I said before, everything that's happened till now, has been working to keep you sterile. Just imagine what could happen if you even gained some form of power. You could potentially help change the world, along with a few others," the man explained.

"Why are you telling me all of this? Why not come to me before?" Xander asked still not believing his ears.

"I would have liked to sooner. However, I needed to do so without drawing attention to myself," the stranger responded.

"Attention from who?" the young man asked in wonder.

"Those higher forces I mentioned? Well, let's just say they're split into different factions. Each one assigned specific tasks for the sake of the earth and the universe. However, they've each been given some leeway about how they operate. That, unfortunately, has led to some rather...disturbing circumstances of how they operate. Each faction stays away from each other, unless business means they deal with each other. One particular faction has been over dealing with your hometown. After some investigation, I've learned that they've taken steps to ensure certain outcomes involving your group. Particularly, the destiny of the slayer," the stranger began explaining.

"I don't like the way this is going. Sounds like whoever these guys are, they had something big and bad going," Xander said in response.

"And that's not even half of it. Do you know the origin of the slayer's powers?" the stranger asked.

"No?" Xander replied.

"Let me show you," the stranger said, waving a hand and a flash of light appeared.

Xander and the stranger found themselves in a desert, where three African men, one in red and black robes, another in blue and black robes, and the third in yellow and black robes, stood around an African girl who was chained to the ground. The began tapping their sticks to the ground and the red robed man set a box down and opened it. A black, shadowy mass left it and entered the girl. She writhed in what appeared to be extreme pain. When it stopped, the girl pulled and snapped the chains with little effort. Xander suddenly looked up as he saw demons of all shapes and sizes making their way towards the girl. The next instance she ran and leapt into action. Xander an the stranger found themselves back in the void.

"What the hell was that?!" Xander asked his companion.

"That is what is known as the primordium age. The story Giles told you about the Old Ones only has partial truth, but not the whole truth. Before the demons, or devils rather, rose to some form of power on earth, they were apart of the celestial powers in the realms above. But after the failed rebellion, they fell to the earth. The weaker ones lost their grand visages and became the twisted monsters that you saw. Those above them were capable of retaining their human-like visages, which is how they managed to convince the people of those times to worship them. As for the girl, well, she is the one in which the slayer line was started," the stranger said.

"She as the first slayer?! But that was a demon that went into her. You're saying every girl that was ever a slayer is possessed by a demon?!" Xander yelled.

"Not entirely. The spiritual power of the demon was fused to her. It gave her strength speed, healing and such. However, she's not able to fully access the power. Partially because of the spell, and because of the faction that is responsible for sending the power into the girls they choose. That faction is known as the Powers That Be. But really, they're just one group with massive egos. The watchers council would tell you that the powers created the slayer, and that slayers are chosen for this grand destiny. But they didn't. They only capitalized on the opportunity. But the whole truth, is that they have been looking for one slayer to change the world. However, it is not for the greater good. But you'll find that out eventually. Right now, we've got other pressing matters for which you and I need to attend," the stranger said.

"And that would be?" Xander asked, still not liking where this was going. The stranger simply smirked, before he grabbed Xander by the arm and the flew off in the distance. Xander began seeing trails of light leading from what he now knew to be portals to other universes. As he looked at where he was going, he saw what appeared to be a whirlpool of swirling indigo energy.

"Is that what I think it is?" Xander asked.

"Yes. This is the well from which all of creation springs from," The stranger replied.

"Why am I here?" Xander finally asked. The stranger smirked again. The next moment Xander was thrown towards the vortex of energy.

As the young man was consumed by the swirling energy, he writhed inside the massive core, not from pain, but from something else. As the energy coursed through him, Xander could feel something changing inside of himself. It was as if his body was becoming one with the power.

'There's no need to fight the change,' came an unknown, yet gentle voice in Xander's mind.

"Who are you?" he asked in return, no longer writhing.

'I am the one who created everything that you see. I was the one who brought you here from the explosion. I asked one of my sons to meet you here so that you understand the role you play in all of this,' the voice said.

"My role?" Xander asked futher.

'Yes. When you saved your friend after her death, you prevented the plans of some of my children from coming to fruition. However, they have prepared more which you would not be able to prevent, at least on your own. Now you will have the power. And with it, you can change destiny. You are now my guardian on your world,' the voice replied. Xander thought over the response.

"If it'll help me save my friends, then I'll do it," Xander replied.

'Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. Never lose sight of that,' the voice, before Xander was released from the vortex. The stranger appeared before him smiling as he saw Xander's eyes closed.

"How does it feel?" the stranger replied. Xander opened his eyes, revealing silver irises.

"New. So what happens now?" Xander asked, his voice almost sounding nonchalant.

"Now you go back. You help your friends. After that, it's up to you," the stranger replied.

"But I don't know how long I've been gone. It could be days that I've been gone," Xander said thoughtfully.

"Which would be true. However, you must remember that we are outside of the physical boundaries of the universe. So here, time stands still and has no meaning. All I'd have to do is insert merely moments after you were brought here. But before I do, there's something else you need to understand," the stranger said, looking sternly at the young man.

"What's that?" Xander asked.

"I mentioned that there are different factions trying to control earth. The one which I belong only seeks to maintain a natural order where my interference would not be necessary. However, you and your friends have only been one part of the grand equation. There are others both above and beneath you that would manipulate not just you, but others like you until there comes a time where one side claims the earth. Whatever you decide once you leave high school, make sure you tread carefully. You have power, but you are NOT immortal," the stranger explained.

"Alright then. I'm ready," Xander said. The stranger placed two fingers on Xander's forehead before hi s body glowed brightly. Xander turned into an orb of light and shot off to the portal that led back to his home universe.

Harris Residence

Sunnydale, California

The next day...

Xander woke up in his bed and looked around at his room. It looked the same way he left it before he went out on his disaster of a date. However, his attention was immediately drawn to the fact that he could feel the energies of the hellmouth stabilized, considering the events of the previous night. He got out of his bed and decided to get the day over with.

Sunnydale High School

Buffy, Willow, Giles, and Oz sat at a table for lunch time, everyone looking contemplative about everything they had learned last night. It should've been a time for reflection about the battle that would've brought on the apocalypse, and how close they had come to losing. However, there were other things on their minds that no one was willing to discuss just yet.

"So how's Angel?" Willow asked.

"He's going to be fine. He took a pretty nasty hit," Buffy replied.

"Still, he survived. I doubt we would've done as well without him," Giles threw in.

"I still believe what you did. It was brave," Buffy said smiling slightly. However, inside she felt regret well up as she thought of someone else who would've done the same.

"It was foolish," Giles replied.

"No one will ever know. How close we came," Willow said.

"Xander?" Buffy said in surprise. Everyone turned in the direction she was facing and saw him walking towards the school, with a look of indifference on his face. Buffy jumped up from the table and approached the young man. She wrapped him up in a tight embrace, but then noticed that he hadn't returned the gesture. As she looked up at him, she saw that his eyes were a different color, and his expression seemed more annoyed than indifferent.

"I'm glad you're alright," Buffy said.

"Sure," Xander said as he tried to take a step past her.

"Wait Xander. I need to talk to you about last night," Buffy said, gaining his attention as he looked at her.

"What about it?" Xander asked.

"Just that, we know you were at the school. And that you tried to take care of the bomb. But why didn't you tell us?" Buffy asked, in ignorance of the reasons. Xander looked coldly at her for even asking.

"I tried. But you all were dealing with an apocalypse. It doesn't matter anymore," Xander replied.

"Of course it matters! Xander you're friend. You're shouldn't be getting into trouble and getting hurt," Buffy replied.

"Did you forget where we lived Buffy? We're on a fucking hellmouth. No matter where anyone goes, there will always be trouble. I wouldn't be surprised if some vamps wanted to turn me so they could find out how to beat you guys," Xander explained.

"What do you mean 'you guys'?" Buffy asked, feeling a sense of dread.

"Exactly as I said it. You, Angel, Giles, and Oz. Maybe Faith if you let her into the inner circle," Xander replied.

"Inner circle?" Buffy said confused.

"As in everyone who matters in that group. Which should include Faith since she's every bit of a slayer as you are. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that she's not just a slayer. But she's the slayer. When you died, Kendra was the slayer. And after her, it was Faith. You have the powers but you're no longer the true chosen one. But you seemed to forget that where Faith is concerned, and it's like you keep fighting like you're trying to prove something. You don't have to and neither does she. And yet we all kept her out of the loop. It's no wonder she doesn't trust us after what happened with Post," Xander replied. Buffy looked as if she was slapped in the face with the way he not only unloaded on her, but said unashamed. Xander had never been afraid to tell her the truth before. But she could always tell that he was not trying to hurt her. But now he just told her the truth that she knew but never wanted to hear.

"Of course you matter. We just thought this fight was too much to-"Buffy stopped as Xander held up a hand.

"No you didn't. If you really thought that, you would've tossed my out of the group long before now. This was never about me going into the fight. It's that you don't think you can trust me. When I told Faith about what happened, we were both set to take Angel, because we couldn't risk just simply knowing it was Angel, like you did. But when we found Giles unconscious, I told Faith that Angelus wouldn't have done that. But she didn't listen to me just like you never did. I said that she's a big girl and drew her own conclusions. You and Willow being upset with me for not taking a risk like that, is both selfish and stupid. And while we're on the subject, in case you forgot, Willow and I both cheated on the people we loved. I didn't force anything on Willow. And yet I took the blame for everything. IS it because I'm the guy in this whole thing? Or because you found an opportunity to get me excluded from the group?" Xander asked the blonde slayer, with the coldness still in his eyes.

"Why are you acting like this?" Buffy asked with tears threatening to spill.

"Because I realized that as much as I try to at least make sure you guys are safe, it's safe to say that you don't want someone like me, who's not willing to just bow down to you, in the group. I made mistakes. But I can own up to them. So I'll say this: I'm done with you guys. But I'm not giving up the fight. And you can't make me," Xander said as he turned to walk away. Buffy tried to stop him by grabbing his arm. However, Xander quickly reacted and caught her arm in a vice grip. Buffy's eyes widened as she realized that her now former suddenly had strength that had eclipsed her's radically.

"I said I'm done," Xander said before he trudged off. Buffy could only watch him walk away, saddened and angry.

As Xander was walking away from the group, he ran into his ex-girlfriend. He could tell by the look on her face that she was ready to verbally tear him down even worse than she did before they dated.

"Well, if it isn't Mr. Excitement. Off to give more lessons of-" Cordelia stopped as her ex-boyfriend simply walked right past her without even looking at her more than he wanted to.

"What the hell?!" Cordelia shouted making some of the students look at her. The Queen of Sunnydale High stormed over to the table that Buffy and the rest sat with anger clear on her face. She took notice of Buffy's expression and knew something was very wrong.

"We're not having another apocalypse, are we?" Cordelia asked the group.

"Um, no. We actually prevented a rather horrible one last night. I'm afraid our mood has more to do with Xander," Giles said, rather dejectedly.

"Oh god. Did Buffy break his heart again and he just went homicidal?" Cordelia asked, tactlessly.

"No you-" Willow said before Oz clamped a hand over her mouth, and gave her a stern look.

"Xander finally told Buffy the truth about everything that had gone on. And it seemed to really hit home for Buffy for some reason," the bass player explained. Cordelia looked over at Buffy and noticed that the blonde was strangely quiet.

"Maybe one of you guys should talk to him. Preferably not me, Buffy, or Willow," Cordelia carefully suggested.

"I'm afraid that may leave me out as well. I haven't exactly been fair to the boy in all this time," Giles surmised as what Buffy told him made him evaluate his own treatment of Xander.

"I'll gladly fall on that grenade. But I might have to wait a bit before I can talk with him," Oz said before he got up.

"Why not tonight?" Cordelia asked.

"Moon," the normally stoic young man replied.

Sunnydale Motor Inn

Faith laid on her bed thinking about the previous night. She managed to kick some demon ass, helped saved the world, and even got in a more than decent lay in between it all. The last thought had been what had given her trouble sleeping through the night. She had trouble trusting other people, particularly the men she had slept with, because she always expected them to use her, so she used them just as much. However, considering what Xander had done for her, and the fact that he potentially saved them all the night before caused her to form an even lower opinion of herself. She had used and dumped Xander the way she believed every guy she had been with would be with her. In truth, Xander had been more open and accepting to her, despite have little interaction with each other. She could've taken his word about Angelus' habits when Post showed up. But she was more concerned with killing a monster and proving herself than listening.

A soft knock on her door snapped her out of her train of thought. She groaned as she got up from the bed and went to answer the door. Her heart nearly stopped as she took sight of the object of her thoughts standing before her. She quickly pulled him inside and shut the door before she began inspecting him. She even went so far as to shed his clothes to see if he was injured.

"Um, not that I'm not enjoying this, and considering last night, I would. But I'm guessing you thought I was dead?" Xander asked.

"Well, from what we saw, we thought you might have been. You dork," Faith playfully scolded. As she looked into his eyes, she noticed that they were different.

"What the hell happened to you, X?" the dark slayer asked.

"Something unbelievable. But I don't want to talk about it. How are you doing? I imagine your first apocalypse didn't go over so well?" Xander asked.

"Well, it was my first time. I just wish it was with someone special," Faith replied with a smirk. Xander could only smile at her trying to hold in the emotions that he felt coming off of her in waves.

"But really. How are you feeling?" Xander asked her.

"First apocalypse. Fighting the two-legged demons was one thing. But the thing that came out of the hellmouth. Diana told me stories about the Old Ones. But seeing one was just...I thought I was going to die just looking at the thing. Aside from Kakistos, I've never been scared of anything in my entire life," Faith said. I know what you mean. Would've die of shock when one of it's heads smash through one of the walls and roared at me. I'm pretty sure that thing was Cerberus," Xander mused, both comically yet thoughtfully.

"Cerberus?" Faith asked, having heard the name before.

"Yeah. Three headed dog that guards the way to hell in Greek myth. Also a demon in Dante's Inferno?" Xander asked.

"Oh yeah. D had me reading that. I thought people had some sicks imaginations but that took the cake," Faith said making a face at the memory.

"No doubt. So why aren't you hanging with the gang?" Xander asked, deciding not to beat around the bush any longer.

"I have no reason to. The bigger question is why aren't you?" Faith wondered.

"Because I'm done. With all of it. As much as I care, I've thought about everything after my...metamorphosis. There's a lot of resentment. I've tried my best to help them. I've made my share of mistakes. Did things I want to take back. But in truth, I couldn't really trust them to do the same by this point. When Angelus was loose, we had to wait for Buffy to do something about him, and it wasn't until Ms. Calendar died that she decided to kick it in gear. Meanwhile we just let her wallow in pain instead of planning on how to deal with it. And we don't need to revisit the fiasco of his return. I hate to say it, we're all damaged goods. Except most of us play victim instead of doing something about our problems. With you, it's different. You've tried running to get away from it but it caught up with you. I see the pain in your eyes, the doubt and uncertainty, and the fear. All the same things I've felt," Xander shard with the brunette.

"What made you feel all of that? I mean you seemed to be doing well until you and Red had that fling," Faith replied, and then immediately regretted bringing up the affair, as Xander's eyes began glowing.

"Contrary to appearances, fine was far from the truth. Like I said, during the Angelus crisis, there had been ample chances to take him out, but we followed Buffy's lead. And when Willow found out about the soul curse, she was ready to cast it even though she had no training in magic, and the spell was powerful dark magic. It could've killed her and maybe all of us but she wouldn't hear any of it. During Homecoming, we had that moment. We couldn't resist each other for long since then. Then Spike kidnapped us. I had a concussion and we didn't even know if we'd live. So we had one last kiss, and then we'd be done. Then Cordy and Oz walked in on us. Everyone blamed me especially for the weak staircase giving out beneath Cordy and her getting impaled. Even she did. I tried talking to her after it but it didn't matter. Truth is, I never felt like I really measured to either Cordelia or Willow. Especially given the way my parents treated me. Growing up with two drunks; one who beats me and another who just stands by and pretends it doesn't even happen. No one ever knew. Not even Willow. Yeah I cheated. But I never made excuses. And I would guess Willow didn't either. But in this world, or at least Buffy's world, it was more than enough to have me ousted," Xander finished, with Faith looking at the indigo and white aura that surrounded him, flailing and crackling around him.

"They didn't just abandon you. They did the same thing to you that they did me. I'm sorry. And not just for that. But for tossing you when Post was here, and for throwing you out last night. You were great," Faith said smiling to her, now former, one-night stand.

"Thanks. For what it's worth, you're one of the coolest girls I've met. Maybe we could stick together," Xander said.

"I'd like that," Faith said, feeling genuinely happy about someone actually caring about her.

"Then first things first. We have to get you the hell out of this place," Xander said as he looked all around the room.

"How do we do that?" Faith asked smirking.

"I'll figure something out. But until then, maybe we can work together?" Xander offered.

"I'd like that too," Faith said as she stood up and walked to him. Xander stood up as well.

"Well, I should get going. I'll see you later," Xander said. Before he could move to the door, the slayer had captured him and strong and comforting hug.

Outside of the motel room, a certain redheaded witch in training stood at the window and used a spell to listen in on them. She wouldn't have normally left school grounds but she needed to know what was going on with her friend. When she followed him to the motel she was stunned to learn that this was where Faith was living, not that she cared about that. But hearing her best friend of all her life saying he was growing attached to the the dark slayer, who by extension had also taken his virginity. Willow started crying at what she heard and ran back to the school.

Author's note: For everyone reading, I imagine many of you are thinking that I was harsh about Buffy and Willow. First thing you should know is that what I had Xander say was the truth, and could've been said a lot worse. Second, Buffy as a slayer, with the exception of sending Angel to Hell, has had problems not as serious as the rest of the characters. In truth, she's had more of a charmed life compared to the other teenage characters. And in regards to the focus of Buffy and Willow's issues regarding their personal lives, they haven't really been as proactive in handling things as they could've been. In other words, they've been more selfish than the show let on, and their treatment of characters they didn't date or weren't as close to the inner circle showed they were rather exclusive. The truth is, as far as the show and comics are concerned, Whedon may have challenged gender roles, but he didn't show anything ingenious other than showing that women are capable of being as selfish and callous as men. Something to think about if you're a Buffy fan.