"Aaaaaaya, this isn't fair," Ken complained.
"Don't tell me about fair," Aya said, scratching his head in an attempt to get the glitter off.
"But, Aya…" Ken opened and closed his mouth impotently. He knew that he wouldn't get anywhere.
"Ken, I couldn't have done this alone. I get so shy around people I admire."
Ken and Aya stood in a very long line of women—young women, older women, mothers with their daughters, older women with their friends. All of them held a copy of Torrie and Jack's story firmly in one of their hands. At the head of the line was a woman sitting at a table, signing copies.
"Laura Roberts," Aya sighed, clutching his own copy to his chest. "Can you believe that Laura Roberts, the best authoress in the world is here, signing books? Here?"
"No, Aya," Ken sighed in defeat. "I simply cannot."
From the other side of the store, Schwartz spied, and… giggled girlishly.
"There are exactly two men in that line," Farfarello whispered to Nagi. "No one would ever guess that they're assassins."
Nagi's eyes narrowed slightly.
"What, are you saying that there's something wrong with men reading romance novels? Are you saying that it's… unmanly?"
Farfarello gave him an incredulous look.
"Do you know anyone who would read them?" he asked, peering through the crack between bookshelves again. "The only things stupider than romance novels are… Well, there's nothing stupider than romance novels."
"At all?"
"Nope."
"Even basset-hounds aren't stupider?"
"No, Nagi. Nothing is stupider."
Nagi, in response, cleared his throat slightly nervously, and fidgeted so that his own books, which he had picked out while waiting for Weiss to show up, were behind his back. No one actually needed to know what he'd picked out, after all.
Yohji and Omi were also in the store, although they didn't feel the need to hide, as Schwartz did. In fact, Yohji rather felt the need to gloat over Ken's predicament. Oh, and flirt incessantly, not that that was an unusual occurrence, but after all, if all of these women were reading romance novels, they must be lonely for the real thing, right…?
"Look at my hair," he commanded to one of the younger and more attractive redheads in line. "Isn't it shiny?" he asked, smirking, and looking over to where Ken stood miserably.
"It is," the woman replied, obviously awestruck by his wheat-gold locks, shining like nothing so much as, well, a field of wheat. But really shiny wheat.
He smiled at her in response, and she noticed that his teeth were also really shiny. This effect was compounded by the harsh florescent lights, blinding half of the customers in the store.
"Oww, Yohji!" Omi complained. "Can't you turn that off or something?"
"No," Yohji said, smirking. "Why do you think I wear sunglasses all the time?"
"I always thought that it was to hide how bloodshot your eyes are from being out so late all the time—" Omi started to reply, but was silenced by Yohji's hand over his mouth.
"The kid's a bit deluded," he told the pretty redhead. She nodded in shock—such… shiny… body parts… It was more than one woman could handle.
"Baby," he said, "we should ditch this place and go for a ride. I just waxed my car, and you should see the way it sparkles. Just like the sun on morning dew… Sort of like your eyes." He winked. She melted.
"Free book!" she called, tossing her copy of Torrie and Jack's story over her shoulder, and walking off with Yohji.
Omi sighed and shook his head.
Yohji looked back at him and winked once more.
"It's the hair," he mouthed, pointing at his head.
Omi nodded bemusedly.
Ironically, the abandoned copy of Torrie and Jack's story hit Ken squarely in the head.
"Oh, look!" Aya squealed, picking it up. "Now you have a copy for her to sign, too! Isn't that exciting, Ken?"
"You're uncharacteristically perky," Ken replied, rubbing the sore spot on his head.
"Well," Aya replied conspiratorily to Ken, "you know how I've been so tired all day?"
"Yes," Ken said, nodding.
"I had coffee!" Aya chirped in reply, squeezing Ken's arm in excitement.
"I foresaw this," Brad said from behind his own book shelf across the store.
"How can you live with that?" Schuldig asked, awed. "I would kill myself if I had to deal with visions like that all the time."
"You learn to live with it," Brad replied. "And anyway, the free porn is nice—"
"What? Free porn?"
"Oh, sure," Brad replied. "You should see what I foresaw for them tonight…"
*********
FIN
Notes: Sorry that took so damned long. I've been busy. But of course when I have an essay due the next day, you can count on me getting the next part of something out. Because I'm good at procrastination.
Anyway, anyway… Now you all know what Aya wanted, and, fine, it's not overtly shounen-ai-ish, but you can all pretend to be psychics along with Brad. Even though he might have been talking about Yohji and the redhead, or Omi and, uh, eggo waffles fresh outta the toaster. You just never can tell.
Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this—the first multi-part fanfic I've ever completed. Joy to the world!!