Hi guys. I'm very sorry for not updating sooner. I should warn you this is a TRIGGER chapter. Please do not read this if you are suicidal. Sorry for what I've done.

I DO NOT OWN VICTORIOUS

Jade

Friends. Yea I can do that. We'll be friends. I mean it kills me every time I look at her and imagine him touching her but yea, we can be friends.

She's next to me. We're driving to the beach. We both needed a break from life so I suggested we run away to the ocean and sail away. She said no, but she'd like to visit the tide to watch it kiss the shore. I let her choose which beach and she picked one she used to visit with her family. It's a fairly warm day but she's wearing long sleeves. I know why but I guess no one else does.

That's the thing about "friends". They want to be there for the party but can't stick around to clean up the mess. Though I understand why they haven't noticed. If I hadn't seen the cuts and bruises myself, I'd be convinced she were happy. Funny, it's like she's been faking that smile all her life.

She isn't talking. Just staring out the window humming that same song from before. I still can't place my finger on the name.

"Tell me a story." I say. She sighs and says still staring out the window at the passing streets, "Once there was a girl covered with scars. Some were given to her by those she loved but most she placed there herself. One day she couldn't take it and drove to San Francisco. She went to the Golden Gate Bridge and threw herself off hoping she'd become one with the sea. It didn't work. The end."

"That wasn't very uplifting."

"Nothing really is." She replies.

"What happened to the little things? What happened to the good in the world?" I asked.

"It died when he did."

I don't respond. I don't know how to. She not looking at me, she never is anymore. I want to ask who he is but I don't think I'm ready to hear. We don't talk the rest of the drive. My head is lot quieter lately. Mostly because of all the pills I take. I'm too numb to think anymore.

We park and gather our things. There aren't very many people out which is surprising and the water looks beautiful. She runs ahead of me with her hair blowing behind her. I set our thing down and lay out my towel. I put an umbrella up to cover my pale skin from the sun. Tori is standing by the edge of the water and I almost wish I could read her mind. I watch her for a bit before deciding to join her.

We stand in silence watching the earth do this earthy thing without any heartbreak. We aren't thinking about the future or the pain or even how close we are standing to each other.

"Jade?"

"Yes?"

"I'm not going to be okay." And that was it. No invitation for advice or inspiration. It had been decided. She didn't want to get better. Once that decision is made there's really no going back. And I wasn't scared. Because I knew I wasn't going to be okay either. We were going to be…not okay…together.

Tori smiles at me before she moves towards the water. She wades in until she's about waist deep. "What are you doing?"

She turns to me and starts laughing, "I'm giving myself back to God!" Then a wave crashed over her head. I almost yelp but she pops back above the water still grinning. She shakes her head and screams, "I AM ALIVE. I AM ALIVE. FOR NOW. FOR NOW!"

I realize why we both aren't hurting so much right now. Because this is the end.

She points over to the side of me and I look. I see a cliff riding hundreds of feet above the sea. Now I get why she brought me here. She knew it was the end too. Tori swims back out to me and takes my hand. We sprint back to the car laughing and smiling. I grab her waist and pull her in for a kiss. It starts slow then takes over us completely. We shed our clothes and slip into the backseat. I could feel the finality in each touch. We were saying goodbye to each other. And it was magic.

I got into the driver's seat and started the car. Tori began humming that song again and I remembered what it was! I grabbed my pearpod and switched on the song as we drove to the top of the cliff.

Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
'Cause there's a million things to be
You know that there are

We reached the top and looked at each other, eyes wide and smiles wider. She leaned over and gave me the sweetest kiss I'd ever received. "Well darling, This is it."

We laughed as we went flying over the cliff. We saw the whole world in that moment. We saw the ocean rise to meet us and engulf our car. We were free.

Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
'Cause there's a million things to be
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are