Attachment

By: SnowySnivy

The Fate/series is not mine. All credit goes to TYPE-MOON, as well as *angel choir music* Ufotable and… *Shudder*… DEEN…

Irisviel's smile had always been soft, very faint against the pale skin of her lips. But even so… That small beam of happiness had seemed to light up the entire world to Arturia.

She had been a troubled, lonely woman, of course. She loved her husband with all of her might, but she could not see him often, as he had left for war. She had hardly ever ventured out into the world prior to her introduction to Arturia; everything had been full of something different, something new. And she knew that she wouldn't be able to stay there for too much longer.

The soft glimmer inside of her pink eyes, the way that her hair spun along with the rest of her body as she stared at the world around her… It was all a beautiful sight. Her laughter was light and lovely as bells.

Perhaps that is what had perplexed Arturia so. Irisviel had no reason to be so happy. She was in the middle of a war, and there was a good chance that she would never be able to see her husband or her dearest daughter again. No... That wasn't right... There were no chances at seeing her daughter again.

Irisviel turned her head from her previous position- leaning over the railing of the bridge, long silver hair tugged by the wind, eyes locked on the waters of the river below. She now looked over at Arturia and- despite all the things that could happen, every single little thing that could and would go wrong- smiled in the lightest, most heart-warming of ways. It was a smile which told Arturia to treasure everything despite the odds.

Maybe that's why she always found herself smiling back.

Maybe that's why she always allowed the young woman to take her hand and drag her along to see the rest of the world.

And maybe that's also why she felt as if she would never smile again when the inevitable day came that Irisviel disappeared and was never seen again.

The little girl had come out of completely nowhere, only ten years later. Something tall and monstrous stood only feet behind her, gray-brown skin rippling with muscle and eyes as barbaric as a ravenous animal. But it had seemed as if Arturia hadn't noticed the beast for the longest of moments.

"Irisviel…" The astonished whisper had escaped her mouth before she even noticed. Indeed, the girl bore quite the resemblance to her old friend. Her hair was long and silver, her eyes a deep rosy pink. And it seemed as if the moon itself, which was standing up in the sky just above the girl's figure, had been created for the sole purpose of reflecting off of her pale ivory skin.

The girl looked at her curiously for a moment. "No," she told her, a wide, arrogant smile upturning the side of her lips. "Not Irisviel. Illyasviel. Illyasviel von Einzbern."

Arturia's eyes widened. Illya?!

With that, the girl giggled merrily and unleashed her beast.

"We cannot keep her," Arturia insisted at the breakfast table, tearing angrily at her food. "Illya is a very clear threat to us. I refuse to have her staying inside of this house."

Shirou frowned. "She's only a child. Where else can she go?"

That girl is no child, she had wanted to say. She is your age, if not even older.

Instead, she replied, "To the church, or back to her castle. So long as she cannot cause any trouble to us."

Yes. So long as that demon child was away. So long as she would not catch her off guard with Irisviel's face, Irisviel's smile. So long as she would not leave her soft-hearted and defenseless.

So long as Arturia would not bear the burden of that kind of loss once more.

She didn't care where the child went, but, God Almighty! Do not force her to repeat the process of attachment to an Einzbern homunculi!

Shirou looked to the hallway as the girl they were speaking of entered the room, head held high and chest puffed out with pride. She caught Arturia's eye and smirked.

If there was one thing Illya hadn't inherited from her mother, it was her sweet and innocent smile.

Arturia frowned at the girl, feeling her heart drop into her stomach, and put her head down.

Shirou ushered the girl to the seat next to him before whispering to Arturia, "Illya is staying, Saber. That's final."

She had been watching Illya play just outside the dojo. She was wearing her usual outdoors outfit, that coat and strange cylindrical hat. Irisviel had worn something similar often, although her clothes had been white; Illya's were always purple.

The girl seemed to be dancing in the wind, spinning in circles and skipping merrily while pulling Shirou along. Her pink eyes gleamed with glee as her hair spun in the air, leaving her in what appeared to be a silver vortex.

When the snow began to fall, she had looked so at home. She appeared so natural among those tiny white flakes. It was almost as if she was a tiny snow fairy.

When Arturia next caught a glimpse of the girl's smile while she twirled, she looked so much like Irisviel it hurt.

Swallowing hard, Arturia stood up and left.

It was after training with Shirou that the team had decided to take a lunch break. Rin joined them at the table and they all enjoyed a meal that Shirou prepared for them. Illya had caught a noodle on her cheek and didn't seem to notice. No one had seemed to notice, in fact.

It had begun to really irk Arturia, and so she leaned over from across the table, took a napkin, and wiped it off for her.

Illya stared at her in complete shock. Arturia had not so much as spoken to her ever since she began her stay in the Emiya household.

Everyone stared at the young knight as she leaned back into her seat, a small, sad smile etched on her lips.

Illya blinked at her, and then flashed her own smile.

"Oh? So there are more mongrels present?" The golden man looked off to the side, seeing as how Rin and Illya had finally arrived to the scene from outside of the house.

When his gaze landed on the Einzbern girl, Arturia's grip around Excalibur tightened- something that she had not thought was possible, considering how tightly she gripped it but a moment ago.

"Archer..." she began in a warning tone.

The man showed no indication of listening to Arturia and instead, eyes focused on the form of Illya, waved his hand as if to banish her. "Only two remain," his voice held nothing but the highest level of disgust for the girl. "Now be gone, doll."

For an instant, it looked as if the girl was going to say something, try to pick a fight. But, then, it seemed as if the vessel for the Grail that laid within her had registered the golden servant's words. Only two remain.

Without any warning, Illya's body dropped and fell to the the ground face-first.

"Illyasviel!"

Even if she could not run to the girl- she needed to protect everyone from that monster, damn it!- Arturia could not help but cry out for Illya as Rin instantly dropped to her side.

Her scream had seemed to catch the golden man's attention, for he looked back to her with deep interest. A moment later, his eyes wandered back to Illya before something along the lines of recognition lit up his eyes. Perhaps, Arturia realized, he had seen her with Irisviel once or twice, all of those ten years ago.

Archer chuckled and turned slightly. "This has been quite a good time, Saber, but I am afraid that our reunion must be cut short." He caught her green eyes with his bloody red ones one final time before raising his hand in farewell. "Rest assured, we will meet again soon. Be sure to give me the correct answer next time we meet."

The moment the despicable man was out of sight, she rushed to Rin's side and helped carry Illya back into the house.

Minutes later, Shirou came limping along behind them.

"How is her temperature?"

Rin looked down at the girl who slept with a blanket pulled all the way up to her chin. "Not well, I'm afraid. It keeps rising."

Arturia nodded and gently knelt down next to the girl. She took a cloth and gently swept her forehead with it. Rin watched the action with mild curiosity. "Saber?"

"Yes, Rin?"

The young mage hesitated for a moment, watching how Arturia stopped and looked over to her with an almost blank expression. "Back when we met Illya… You seemed to know her. Did you?"

Arturia nods solemnly and says nothing, but instead turns back to Illya and begins tending to her again. She was so much paler than usual. Her hair fanned out around her face, which was void of expression. No smiles, no smirks, no frowns, no peacefulness… Not even the tiniest bit of pain or discomfort.

"Saber… You knew about her, didn't you?"

"What do you mean?" Arturia's voice croaked harshly.

She looked so much like Irisviel, right before she disappeared.

"I mean that you knew that this would happen: Illya would get sick, and her basic human functions would slowly begin to shut down. You knew that she's the vessel for the Holy Grail."

Arturia bit her lip and nodded in a motion that almost looked painful. "Yes, Rin…" A small tear fell down her cheek. "Yes, I did know."

Illya was gone.

Illya was gone.

Illya was gone.

Illyasviel was gone, just like Irisviel was gone.

She was taken away, just like Irisviel.

She knew it.

She knew it.

She knew it.

She knew this would happen, damn it!

Arturia had left Shirou as soon as Rin was tended to and went out to the yard so that she could beat the dirt with Excalibur.

Why?

Why did she have to become attached again?

Why did she let herself become so torn up over a single person once more?!

With a loud cry, she swung her blade down to the ground, again and again, harder each time.

Illya was gone.

Illya was gone.

Illya was gone.

Illya was gone, and it was all her fault.

"I'm sorry, Irisviel!" She shrieked out to a world that would never hear her. "I'm sorry! I couldn't protect you, and now I couldn't protect your daughter!"

With one last shrill cry, she shoved Excalibur into the dirt and finally allowed herself to fall to her knees.

But...

She raised her head slightly.

Rin was alive. Maiya had been all but dead when she was found.

Maybe... Maybe that was some sort of sign.

She was alive!

It had been Shirou who had told her so. She was lying on the ground, the dead Kotomine Kirei lying not too far away.

Her hair was a dirty mess, and her body was bare, but she was breathing, even if her breathes were contorted with shivers. Tears filling the corners of her eyes from relief, Arturia ran her hands across the side of the girl's face.

"Oh, thank God," she muttered, looking down at her pale features.

Illya had thankfully survived this awful Grail, but, she couldn't help wondering: how long would she last? She was a homunculi, created to only last for a certain amount of time. Just because the Grail wasn't used this time around didn't mean anything.

Eighteen years. Eighteen years, trapped inside of a child's body. And Illya would more than likely die inside this very same body.

Arturia thought back to Irisviel's smiles, how she had been so willing to let in a world that she knew she was created in only for a premature end. And, despite how helpless the woman had been in those last few days, she had still been happy just to live life and spend time with others.

Arturia wanted Illya to be able to live like that. She still had a while, even if she was unsure as to how long, but she had time before her body would eventually shut down. And she should be able to spend that time with Shirou and Rin and Taiga and Sakura, and every other person there was to meet. She should be able to live her last days like a normal, happy human being.

Arturia closed her eyes and exhaled softly before opening them. Gently, she leaned over and kissed the girl's forehead. "Take care, Illya. Be sure to enjoy your life like your mother, alright?"

Slowly, she rose to her feet and faced the awful womb of the Holy Grail. "Your order, Shirou."

When she was told, she lifted Excalibur with pride and, the smiling faces of mother and daughter in mind, struck down her arc of light.

"Where is Saber at?"

It had been the first thing that Illya had inquired when she awoke the following day. This, itself, had been strange, considering that she would normally be all over Shirou the moment her eyes opened. But she had been very insistent upon the question.

Shirou swallowed softly and told her that Saber had destroyed the Holy Grail.

Illya blinked, and then scowled. "Well, that's dumb! She had a wish, didn't she? Why would she destroy the Grail?!" She huffed, and then grumbled on, "And I was being nice and sharing it, too, since the Grail is mine."

Rin stared at her, a sarcastic smile darting across her face. "Why did you ask, Illya?"

At the question, Illya looked at her, surprised. "Oh, well, I had a dream about her… Or, it wasn't really about her, but she was in it."

The stares pressed her to continue her story. "It was about when I was little, and my mother was still around. I was hopping around in her lap, and my mother was so happy, and patting my hair."

She closed her eyes as if to remember the moment, and continued:

"And for some reason, Saber was there, sitting right next to mother." She opened her eyes and giggled at the memory. "I was really surprised about it, but not because she was there."

Shirou's head cocked to the side. "Why were you surprised, then?"

"Well," Illya tipped her own head to the side, trying to place her finger on exactly what it had been about that moment that had surprised her so. "I guess it's because I'd never seen her smile so much."