Chapter 1 - Eyes Open

So here you are; two steps ahead and staying on guard. Every lesson forms a new scar. They never thought you'd make it this far.

But turn around… oh, they've surrounded you. It's a showdown. And nobody comes to save you now.

But you've got something they don't. Yeah, you've got something they don't. You've just gotta keep your eyes open.

Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown. Everybody's watching to see the fallout. Even when you're sleeping keep your eyes open. (Eyes Open – Taylor Swift)

"She's so precious, how old is she?" An older woman one seat over asked.

Rowan turned her head from looking out of the window and smiled as she said, "She's almost four months."

After a pause she let out a small laugh as she looked down to her daughter and continued, "I don't think I've ever seen her sleeping this peacefully before."

Nodding the older woman said, "It's the sound of the plane engine, when my kids were babies they'd go straight to sleep when we'd fly for vacation."

"I thought she'd be awake and crying." Rowan continued.

"I'm Elise Howard." She introduced herself as she extended a hand.

Gently shifting the sleeping infant, Rowan leaned over and shook her hand as she said, "Rowan Martin."

"Your little sister?" She asked.

Rowan cringed at the question, knowing the judgmental stare that followed her answer to those kinds of questions.

"My daughter." She replied softly as she stared forward for a few seconds before looking back over to the other passenger.

Elise's lips pursed into a thin line before she nodded and said "I was 19 when I had my son… you look younger than that though."

"I just turned 16." Rowan said as she turned to look back out of the window and shook her head. This wasn't at all what she thought her life would turn into either, the saying 'one moment can change your entire life' was true.

Letting out the breath she'd been holding she thought back to the night that changed everything.

~()~ (Flashback) ~()~

"Come on, cheer up!" Serena exclaimed as she looked over to her friend Rowan.

"How can I cheer up? We have less than 2 weeks until school starts." Rowan complained as she laid the hair straightener down on the bathroom counter.

Applying her second coat of mascara Serena said "I know and all you've done is mope around all summer because of what's-his-name."

"Corey…" She started to say but got cut off.

"It doesn't matter what his name is. Forget him, he dumped you… he sucks. And all you need to get over him is a good one night stand." Serena said with a playful wink.

Rolling her eyes and digging through her make-up bag for her eyeliner, Rowan said "No way…"

"Yes way! Corey was your first everything; you need to get out there and test the waters. See what you've been missing by dating a stupid high schooler. My sister got us fake I.D's we're going to some bar with her and her friends, some guy is bound to buy you a drink and strike up a conversation." She argued, as she picked up the hot hair straightener and used it to make her dark brown, almost black hair lay in waves.

"We're going to be the only 15 year olds at the bar, I wouldn't even know what to say if some guy did approach me! And just because you made out with a college sophomore last week, doesn't make you some relationship expert." Rowan said as she ran a brush through her blonde hair.

"Well you're obviously not going to start the conversation off with saying you're 15 years old!" She exclaimed.

When rowan shot her a look, Serena sighed and said "All we've been saying this week is how much we wish we were more like my sister and her friends. Fun and carefree. These fake and tonight, is the first step in leaving our old selves behind."

Stepping slightly behind her friend, Serena placed her hands on Rowan's shoulders and said, "This is the new us, Ro. You look amazing, so own it."

"And why did we want to give ourselves this transformation again?" Rowan asked, her expression timid as she looked as her reflection, hardly reckoning the green eyed, blonde girl staring back at her.

"Because we can't just go through high school always being pushed into the friend zone. No one notices us, if we don't make a change now. We're going to be invisible and irrelevant for high school and college… probably for the rest of our lives. Is that really what you want; to be irrelevant?" Serena asked dramatically.

Laughing at her friend, Rowan shook her head, "I guess not."

"Serena! Rowan! Hurry up, we're leaving!" Serena's older sister, Santana yelled from the living room.

"Good! Me either, so let's gather what confidence we have, forget about our formerly geeky selves and be someone else for the night." Serena said as she unplugged the hair straightener and turned to leave the small bathroom both girls had squeezed into.

Taking one last look in the mirror and promising herself that she'd make the night amazing, Rowan turned and followed after her friend.

The two teens had been staying with Serena's sister, Santana and her 3 roommates that week. And seeing how the 4 older girls lived had made them realize they wanted their lives to be more than just high school gossip and homework.

But neither of them considered that the night could have consequences, and make them realize that sometimes being a teenager with school as the first thing on your mind isn't a bad thing. Trying to grow up too fast can have its downfalls.

After they were inside the bar, Serena squealed with excitement as a guy who looked to be in his late 20's nodded at her with a wide smile; laying the pool stick down he headed up towards the bar.

Ignoring the unsettling feeling in her stomach Rowan smiled at her friend.

"You've already hooked a guy." She said.

"And I'm not the only one who's caught someone's eye…" She said trying to subtly nod to a small table in the corner where a guy with dark hair, dressed in all black was sitting.

"Is he really staring at me?" she asked, quietly as she looked behind her.

"Uh, yeah." Serena said watching him as he watched Rowan.

"He's… really freaking hot." Rowan finally admitted, as she glanced back over towards him.

Serena cocked her head to the side confused; the guy had looked down and smiled to himself when Rowan had spoken, almost like he could have heard her. But it was impossible; he was across the room in a noisy bar.

As Serena turned her attention back to the guy who had been playing pool, but was now drinking at the bar. She said, "I'm going to get a drink and talk to that guy up there. Promise me something…"

"What?" Rowan asked as she looked at her.

"If tall, dark and ridiculously hot leaves his table and tries to put some moves on you, don't let him go home alone." Serena said, flashing her a wide smile.

Rowan playfully rolled her green eyes and laughed, sometimes she felt like her life would be entirely different if she could have an ounce of her best friend's confidence.

As she watched her friend walk away, she suddenly called out "Serena!"

Spinning around she asked, "What?"

"Just… be careful." Rowan warned, a strong feeling of dread rising inside of her.

"I brought protection in case he didn't." She playfully responded with a wink as she held up her clutch bag.

Shaking her head, Rowan said "I'm serious, Serena. Be careful…"

Her smile fell at the seriousness on her friends face and she nodded.

Once Serena was gone and busy talking to the attractive pool player, Rowan took a seat at the other end of the bar and ordered a drink. Hoping it would calm her nerves some, but when she walked into the bar it felt cold and dead.

When she was almost done with her drink, she heard someone from beside her order a drink. Startled she jumped and looked over to the guy now sitting beside her.

She'd been so distracted by her thoughts and the bad feelings she was having, she hadn't noticed the guy move up to the bar from his table in the corner.

Briefly her eyes traveled over his profile from the side, from his dark hair to his leather jacket.

Taking a deep breath and reminding herself of what Serena had been telling her all night, she smiled at him when he turned to look at her.

When the bartender sat another glass down in front of her and took her empty one, she blushed and quickly stuttered out a thanks to the handsome stranger.

He lived close to the bar and visited it from time to time, normally just sitting back and watching people.

He'd seen the girls that Rowan had arrived with in there before, normally all of them loud and obnoxious, loving to be the center of attention. But he'd never seen her before.

From the sounds of the conversation he'd overheard from Rowan and Serena, it seemed like she was there looking for the same thing he was that night.

"I'm Rowan." She said, shaking him from his thoughts.

"Derek." He replied, smiling as he heard her heart starting to race.

"I haven't seen you here before." He said, watching her face as he spoke.

"Yeah, I don't live in Brooklyn. My best friend and I are here visiting her sister before… classes start up again." She said, deciding that 'classes' sounded like a more mature thing to say than 'school'.

With any luck he'd think she was older than she really was and she'd be able to keep his interest.

"What are you studying?" He asked her, as he took a drink.

She smiled as she realized he did think she was in college.

"Right now I'm just taking some general classes, I'm not sure what I want to major in yet." She said, not technically lying to him.

"have you always lived in New York?" she asked him, as she took a big drink from her glass, wanting to get rid of her inhibitions.

"Uh, no… I was born in California." He admitted, but didn't go into much detail, he learned years ago how dangerous opening up to someone could be.

"Really? My cousin actually lives in California… it's a small town though, you've probably never heard of it." She said, thinking about her cousin Lydia who lived in Beacon Hills.

"You want another drink?" He questioned.

Looking down to her glass, she paused to think. She didn't want to drink too much, and was already feeling the effects of her first two.

Finally deciding one more drink would be all the liquid courage she needed, she nodded and said "Sure, thank you."

~(The next morning)~

Rowan's eyes fluttered open when she felt the bed move.

Looking over she saw Derek sleeping with his back to her, her eyes focused on the tattoo between his shoulder blades. She hadn't noticed it the night before.

At that thought, she gasped, her green eyes wide as she looked around the unfamiliar room franticly.

She had actually went home with him and had a one night stand. Sitting up on the side of the bed she quickly grabbed her dress from the night before and pulled it on. Frowning when she didn't see her bra or underwear anywhere.

Turning back she looked at him still sleeping in the bed.

She started to reach a hand out to shake him and wake him up, but then she stopped and wondered if she should wake him up.

It would feel a lot less shameful if she just left and never had to face him, or her recklessness again.

What would she even say to him? She was pretty sure she'd already assured him she wasn't normally 'that type of girl' the night before on the walk to his apartment building.

When she finally located her pursed, she left his small New York apartment and flagged down the first taxi she'd seen.

On the way to the building Santana lived in, she tried to call Serena several times, but her friend didn't answer.

It was already going on noon, she couldn't believe she'd slept for that long. But then again she wasn't even sure what time they'd gotten to his place.

As the full effect of her hangover hit her, she groaned and hung her head in pain and disbelief at herself. Wishing she'd only had –had one more drink, instead of the shots she'd done after she promised herself no more alcohol that night.

With her head still hung and feeling sick to her stomach, she didn't even see the bar she'd met Derek at was roped off with crime scene tape.

After paying the taxi driver she headed up the several flights of stairs towards Serena's older sisters apartment, feeling more queasy with every step. She felt like every movement she made was going to result in her vomiting.

As she neared the door of the apartment she considered the fact that she'd never really been drunk before, and now that she had it was an experience she didn't want to repeat.

Raising her fist she knocked on the door, cringing at the noise.

It was only seconds later that the door flew open and Serena wrapped her arms around her.

"I need… aspirin." Rowan said, not sure why her friend was acting like that.

"Thank god!" Santana said as she stood behind Serena.

"We were just… freaking out!" Serena agreed as she let go of her friend and rushed her inside of the warm, small apartment.

"Why?" she asked, confused.

"You didn't hear about the girl they found outside of the bar?" Serena asked, as her sister went to get the teenager something for her headache.

"Huh?" Rowan asked, irritated at how it was taking her so long to process everything she was being told.

"Tthe bar we were at last night… a girl was killed in the alley behind it last night." Serena said, as some tears fell down her face.

A few seconds later Rowan's green eyes widened and she gasped, "What?"

"She was strangled to death." Santana agreed as she gave her the pills and a bottle of water.

"You saved my life, Ro." Serena said as she watched her best friend took the medicine.

"What?" she asked as she finished off the bottle of water. She couldn't remember ever being so thirsty before.

"There was a witness to the murder and they arrested the guy early this morning… look!" Serena said, her voice shaky as she showed her the newspaper.

It felt like the floor had been dropped from under her feet as she stared at the picture on the front of the newspaper of the man being led outside in handcuffs. The same guy Serena had been talking too at the bar.

"After you warned me to be careful, you had me so uneasy that I couldn't even stomach one drink… so I stopped talking to him and Santana taught me how to play pool. If you hadn't have warned me… oh my god. That really could have been me." Serena said, dropping the paper to the floor and shuddering at the dark thoughts running through her mind.

"How did you know?" Santana asked her as she watched Rowan pull Serena in for a tight hug.

A few tears slid down her cheeks and she shook her head as she said, "I don't know… when we walked into the bar it just felt… like a graveyard or something."

~(A year later)~

"You can't just ship me off like this… it's inhumane!" Rowan shouted angrily as she looked around her room, where all of her clothes and belongings had been boxed up.

"I'm not shipping you off, honey. I really think this is for the best." Rowan's mother, Debra said with sigh.

"No, you don't. You're doing this because Jeff doesn't want me here!" she snapped.

"Jeff doesn't have a problem with you… he works so early in the morning, and Lynn's crying keeps him awake." She defended her current boyfriend.

"Why do you always do this, mom? No matter what, you always pick someone over me. We were doing fine on our own before you met him, just kicked him out! Not me, I am your daughter." She pleaded, feeling more helpless by the minute.

Debra angrily shook her head at her daughters words.

"You don't do anything anymore, Rowan. You go to school, then work and then you come home to sleep. With Lydia and her mother both there, you'll have some help raising Lynnox. I talked to my brother and he said that Carol got the house in the divorce, so I called her and she's thrilled to have you come live with them." Debra offered more excuses for her behavior.

"I'm exhausted all the time mom, I don't feel like doing anything." Rowan explained, not understanding why her mom didn't get that.

"You haven't event talked to Serena in at least 6 months." She reminded her teenage daughter.

"Great, thanks for reminding me of how my best friend picked being popular over being friends with the teenage mom." Rowan snapped sarcastically.

"And who's fault is it that you're a baby raising a baby?" Debra said with her hands on her hips.

Rowan sighed and looked around her room, the room she'd called hers for close to 8months.

It was a nice sized bedroom, but was pretty cramped with her bed on one side of the room and her daughters crib on the other side.

Seeing her daughter looking around Debra said, "Carol said she's going to fix up a nursery for Lynnox… you'll have a room to yourself again."

"It doesn't matter, I'm up all night with her anyways… it's just easier to share a room." She said, knowing nothing her mom said was going to make the situation any better.

All she really wanted was for her mom to choose her over a guy, but she never had and Rowan was sure her mom never would.

~()~ (End of flashback) ~()~

Rowan jumped when Lynnox started to cry, and startled her from her thoughts.

"Excuse me." She said as she stood up and headed out to the isle, where she walked back and forth with her baby, trying to soothe her.

She ignored the rude stares from annoyed passengers on the plane.

"Shh, Lynn… just a few more hours and we'll be at our new home." Rowan said, trying to remain calm even though she was about ready to cry along with her infant daughter.

"Rowan, did you bring her a pacifier?" Elise asked as she joined the stressed teen in the isle.

"Yeah, it's in the carryon bag." She said as he headed back to the row they'd been sitting in.

After watching Rowan struggle with the door to the overhead compartment while trying to hold and gently bounce Lynn with the other arm, Elise said "Here, let me help you."

"Thanks." Rowan said, a little choked up as it seemed like every minute her daughters cries were getting louder and louder.

After pulling the teens carryon bag from the compartment and finding the pacifier, she handed it to Rowan who quickly put it in her baby's mouth.

Almost instantly she quieted down.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, thankful for the silence Rowan then looked up to see Elise tucking the bag back in the compartment.

"Thank you… how did you know it would work?" Rowan asked, softly afraid to speak too loud and disturb Lynn again.

"The pressure in the cabin… having her suck on her pacifier or feeding her will relieve the pressure." She offered with a kind smile as she sat back down in her seat, and pulled her sweater on.

"Thank you." Rowan repeated, as she laid her head back against the seat.

~()~

After getting Lynn asleep in her crib, Rowan looked around the nursery Lydia and her mom had set up. It was beautiful with orange walls, brand new furniture and even pink blocks with white lettering on the wall spelling out Lynnox.

"She's so cute." Lydia whispered as she joined her cousin in the room.

"I know." Rowan said smiling as she turned on the baby monitor and pointed the camera towards the crib.

"It has a camera?" Lydia asked as she followed Rowan from the nursery.

"Yeah." She said nodding as she showed her the other monitor that had not only a speaker, but a small screen showing live footage of her daughter sleeping. "Back home, as soon as I turned 16 I got a job at a bookstore and every single penny I made went towards baby supplies."

"I still cannot believe you had a kid." Lydia admitted, remembering back to the times that Debra would take off on vacation in the summer with whatever boyfriend she was seeing at the time and leave Rowan there with them to watch.

"I can't believe your parents are really divorced." Rowan replied, after a small pause she frowned and asked "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, and trust me we're all better off with them separated. It's gotten so bad that they can't even be in the same room without fighting." Lydia explained, shaking her head as she thought of how her dad had made her choose who she wanted to live with.

As she helped Rowan hang her clothes up in the closet Lydia held out a cute dark green skirt and then eyed her cousin as she said "At least you don't look like you've had a baby."

Rowan looked down to herself and nodded.

"It's our genes… we've got good genes." Lydia continued as she hung up a jacket.

"I'm happy I have her… I mean, I love her more than anything but I really just never pictured myself being a single mom at 16." She said so quietly she wasn't sure if Lydia had heard her.

After putting the dress on she'd been looking at on a hanger and putting it in the closet, she walked over to where Rowan was putting more clothes in a dresser.

"I don't think anyone pictures being a single mom, especially not as a teenager." She reasoned.

Rowan nodded, knowing she was right.

"Speaking of the single part…" she said her voice trailing off as she waited for an explanation.

"When I first found out I was pregnant, I went back to the same bar I'd met him in every weekend for 3 months and I never saw him again." She explained.

Shrugging Lydia said, "I don't know… I guess, I just kind of figured that since you grew up not knowing who your dad was, or anything about him that you'd want something different for Lynn."

"I do or I did. I just wasn't even sure what to do, I mean it was one night… I don't even know his last name. I knew where his apartment was, but I couldn't just show up out of the blue and be like 'hey Derek, here's your daughter.' And the longer I waited the harder it got to even consider seeing him again." She reasoned as she began to take some framed photos out of a box.

When Lydia gave her a disbelieving look she sighed and admitted, "And then there'd be other things I'd have to own up to; like the fact that I'm not really in college and that I'm a teenager."

"So you'd rather let your child grow up fatherless than admit you were horny and lied to get some sexy older guy?" Lydia asked her.

Rowan rolled her eyes and a jolt of pain shot through her heart as she thought of how much Lydia reminded her of Serena.

"I'm serious!" Lydia exclaimed, but even she let out a small laugh at her words.

She was quiet as she started to arrange the framed pictures on her dresser.

Sighing in defeat she finally said, "I did go back to his apartment last month when my mom told me I was being sent to live here… but the place was empty. I finally got ahold of the building owner and he said that Derek had broken his lease and moved saying something about needing to find his sister."

Lydia frowned as she saw the sadness in her cousin's eyes.

"We could always start some webpage to find him?" she offered cocking her head to the side as she could already see it in her mind.

"Uh, no. We should not advertise to the world that some older guy unknowingly knocked up a 15 year old last year." Rowan said, shaking her head.

"True… but there has to be something we can do." Lydia said as she picked up one of the pictures of Lynnox from the dresser and looked at it.

"it doesn't matter, for all we know Lynn's better off not knowing him. And anyways, she's got me… I can raise her a hell of a lot better than my mom raised me." Rowan said confidently.

"Hey… what's wrong with her eyes in this picture?" Lydia asked as she studied the picture even closer.

"Oh, that's from a set of her photo's that I didn't get retouched. For some reason whenever someone takes a picture of her with the flash on, her eyes give off some sort of glare." Rowan said with a shrug as she put up a picture of herself and Lydia from when they were younger.

"Human eyes don't reflect light like that." Lydia stated, as she sat the picture frame back down and went back to hanging up clothes in the closet.

A/N – Since we don't know much about Lydia's parent's, I'm just making it up as I go along.

Thank you so much for reading the first chapter, I hope you all liked it so far. ^_^

I'd really appreciate it if you would take the time to leave a review and let me know you've read the opening the chapter, and if you're interested in seeing this story continued. I always love hearing from my readers! ^_^