I suppose this will be a re-imagining of season 8. This is Sam's story, from the moment he loses Dean, through his fight to get Dean back, through undertaking the trials, through finding people he thought were lost forever. And it's the story of the girl by his side, the girl who promised she could handle anything.

Thanks to tumblr users kerrionmywaywardsons, wearelosechesters, candycornisaveggiesam, and ekeziel.

Sam had picked the highway at random.

A part of his mind knew that he was heading east — you didn't grow up a child of John Winchester and not learn basic things like cardinal directions. And it helped that the next morning, the sun had risen behind him.

He didn't really care. He just kept driving, and driving and driving, in Dean's car.

It hadn't been the first time that Sam had seen his brother die, of course it hadn't been. Dean had been as good as dead in that hospital in Jefferson City, Missouri and then there had been Broward County, Florida, and New Harmony, Indiana. He had died before his brother in Storm Lake, Iowa, but he had still seen the blood on Dean's shirt. Between his eyes and the windshield, Sam could see a map, with each city glowing red, pulsating, mocking him. Now Sam could add another point of light. Chicago, Illinois.

Without his willing it, Sam snorted. It fit, in a way. Dean had once bargained with Death to save Chicago. So of course,of course, that was where Death took him back.

Sam kept driving. He had taken Kevin home, and not really heard any of his protests when Sam left him in the arms of his sobbing mother. He knew Kevin wanted to help.

There was nothing left to help with.

It was playing in Sam's mind like a loop. Castiel had pulled Roman's head back. Dean had stabbed Roman in the neck. Black sticky ooze everywhere.

And then.

Nothing.

He had always thought that the two worst nights of his life were the nights he'd buried Dean.

This was worse. Having no body to bury was infinitely worse.

He had stopped once so far, for gas, and then kept going. He wasn't heading anywhere, not really. Maybe if he got lucky there would be a cliff he could just drive off.

Because he couldn't try to bring Dean back. Not after last time. Not after Lilith, and Ruby, and the apocalypse. Not after he'd failed Dean so badly, failed him because he thought he was doing the right thing.

Besides, Sam had no idea where Dean even was – although Castiel was with him, and so they'd probably made it to heaven. Good. That was good. Dean deserved peace, now, after everything.

A sign flashed past the window. Montgomery, New York. How far until the ocean? He was far enough upstate for the cliffs to start, wasn't he? Probably just another couple of hours –—

"Shit," he hissed, slamming on the brakes when a shadow darted out into the road. The dog – and he could see now that it was a dog, a black dog with a white patch on its underbelly – froze for a moment and stared into the Impala's headlights before scampering off the road.

"Damn it, Keates!" Sam heard a woman shout before a pale figure knelt down behind the dog and wrapped her arms around it. Sam didn't know why – and later he would ask himself exactly why – but he stopped the car and stepped out.

"Is the dog all right?" he shouted, leaving the driver's side door open as he walked over to where the woman was running her hands through the dog's fur.

"I – I think so," she replied, her voice shaky. She didn't look up, her black hair hiding her face, and her hands were still trembling as she cupped them around the dog's face. "You're okay, right, Keates?"

Sam hesitated a moment, then knelt down beside her, not close enough to touch. "I'm so sorry."

"Oh, no!" she protested turning to face him. "It's not your fault at all, it's just my dumb dog–" she interrupted herself, eyes wide. "Oh my God."

Now that he could see her face, Sam froze too. Memories of a soft blue sweater and a barber's razor and a promise that she could take care of herself swarmed his head, and he heard himself ask, "Sarah?"

"My God," she repeated, smoothing her hair back from her face. "Sam."

Sam's mind was blank. There was probably something that he should say here, that the version of himself he'd been six years ago would have said here. This was Sarah Blake, the first woman who he had talked to after Jessica. This was the girl Dean had told him to marry.

She had mattered, once. Now she didn't. Sam shuffled his feet and tried to think of a way to get away from her, to get back in the car and keep driving.

Before he could turn around, Sarah shoved her hands back into the pocket of her hoodie. "So. Um," she started, then closed her mouth, then tried again. "Same car, I guess?"

"What? Oh. Yeah." Sam ran a hand through his hair. Dean's car. It was Dean's car. But Dean wasn't here to drive it.

Sarah bounced on the balls of her feet for a moment, and the dog nudged her hand. "Are you picking Dean up from somewhere?"

It would have hurt less if she'd slapped him. He couldn't, he couldn't pick Dean up, not this time, he had lost Dean, he'd let him die, he hadn't even seen him coming, he should have been able to do something, he should have, heshould have –

"Sam?"

Sam swallowed around the shards of glass in his throat. "He's dead, Sarah."

He had said it, and now it was real.

Sarah's face went white in the Impala's headlights, and her mouth dropped open. "Oh my God I'm so sorry," she whispered, eyes wide. "Was it… was it on…"

Was it on a hunt, she meant. He had told her how dangerous hunting was, hadn't he? He thought he remembered that conversation. And another one, later: When people are around me, they get hurt. "Yeah, it was," he heard himself answer. "Last night."

Had it only been last night?

"Jesus." Sarah pressed her hands over her mouth. "Jesus, Sam, I am so—"

"Yeah." Sam cut her off, and he knew that he should feel bad about how sharp his voice was. He didn't give a damn. He had more than enough to feel bad about at the moment. "You're sorry. I get it." He stepped away from her, towards where the impala's engine was still running. "Listen, I gotta go."

"Wait. Sam, wait! Go where?" Her hand shot out and her fingers wrapped around the sleeve of his jacket. He stared down at them, thinking about how easy it would be to shake her off, to keep going. Before he could answer, she went on without letting him go, "Look. Don't. Just… please don't."

"Don't do what?" he asked, his voice flat.

"Don't do whatever it is that you're thinking of doing," she rushed. "Sam, I remember you, I remember the way you were around your brother. And I'm not letting you be alone right now."

"Sarah…" Sam shook his head. "Let go, please."

"No." She shook her head vehemently. "No, here's what's going to happen. We – me and you and Keates – are going to get into your car, and I'm going to give you directions to my house, and I'm going to feed you, and then you're going to sleep. And tomorrow morning, we're going to talk."

"Sarah, I can't. I can't keep… doing this."

"Doing – you know what, no. I'm not asking." She tugged on the dog's leash and started for the Impala. "I'm not going to let you argue with me, either, Sam. Come on."

He watched her stride off to the car, and his lungs shifted in his chest, expanding a little, in a way that they hadn't done since before Chicago. He didn't owe Sarah anything. He didn't have any sort of obligation to her, and nothing she said could seal up the pit in his gut, could make him forget that Dean wasn't there.

But she had opened the back door of the car, and snapped her fingers at the dog, who had hopped up onto the seat and settled itself against the upholstery. Sarah glanced over her shoulder at Sam before sliding into the passenger's seat.

Clearly, he wasn't getting rid of either one of them.

Still he hesitated, until she rolled down her window and leaned her head out to yell at him. "So are we going, or what?"

Sam's mind filled in what came next, what had happened next the last time Sarah had said that to him.

"Sam – marry that girl."

Without deciding to do it, Sam walked back to the car and put it in drive. "So. Where am I going?"

So what do we think? Please review!

And i'm on tumblr at kennedyclintonkat - some spoilers and discussion of this story will happen there, as well as meta on how s9 is going, and a lot of Sam Winchester appreciation.