Outside Looking In, pt 5

Sam blinded by a hunt, the Winchesters look for solutions.

Madeline owed Jim a lot for getting her through the divorce, but she had never been so put-off by a request before.

"Hi Maddie," her pastor greeted her at the door.

"Okay, hold on." Madeline held up a finger. "One, what on earth is with the secretive, 'don't tell anyone about this' huh? You have the mafia after you? And two, how on earth am I supposed to help this boy if you won't tell me how he was blinded in the first place?"

Jim looked at her patiently. "Maddie, I've told you before and I'll say it again; have faith."

"Oh, that's an excuse," Madeline grouched, but she made her way into the house anyway. "Where is he?"

"Sam?" Jim called, just as Madeline walked into the living room. Two boys were sitting close together on the ratty carpet, messing with something that quickly disappeared as soon as she got close.

"Yes?" The small one looked up, hair mostly covering his white eyes. Madeline suppressed a frown. A physical trait like that didn't come from recent trauma, but she had told Jim that she wouldn't ask questions about that.

"Sam, Madeline is here to help you."

"Okay." The boy got up too quickly, nearly losing his balance and holding out a hand in the wrong direction. "Um, hi."

"I'm over here," Madeline told him.

Sam corrected himself admirably, and Madeline took his hand firmly.

"I'm Dean." Everything about the boy—man screamed protectiveness. Older brother? Madeline could smell trouble and headed it off with a smooth smile.

"Hello Dean, are you going to be around?"

Dean bristled. "Yes."

"Then I need you to not interfere. Thank you." Madeline ignored his outrage and turned back to Sam. "Are you ready to begin?"

Sam was rubbing his hands together nervously. "Uh huh."

"No, Sam. Are you ready? Because if you're not, then this is a waste of my time."

Something flashed across the boy's face—a mixture of an instinct to immediately rebel against commands that was immediately squashed by a wave of determination, as far as Madeline could tell. "I'm ready," he said shortly. "Tell me what to do."

Madeline took a deep breath. "Let's begin."

Working with Sam and Dean was like no other job Madeline had taken. Normally, she asked the family members to leave for at the very least, a couple weeks in order for independence to come before anything else.

Dean refused to leave.

Madeline had then, after a swift argument with Jim, had to deal with him, even knowing that it would take twice as long if Dean was around to cripple any progress Sam tried to make.

But he didn't. If anything, he was more tough on Sam than Madeline was.

The psychology of them was all wrong, and Madeline found it tough to try and predict how to best help Sam. Oh, the physical stuff was simple enough. Sam, like many who had been blinded, struggled to re-learn the basics of living; getting around, putting on his clothes, reading Braille to read. He was a quick learner, though, so that wasn't the biggest problem.

If anything, he tried too much too soon.

"Walk before we run, Sam," Madeline sighed, holding the ice pack to Sam's forehead.

"Thanks," Sam muttered, taking a hold of the pack himself and settling back in the chair more firmly. "I just thought I had the layout down."

"You did, but you can't forget to account for random variables. In this case, Pastor Jim's book."

"Was it sticking out from the edge?"

"Yeah."

Sam winced, lowering the ice pack. "So what did I trip on after that?"

"The rug."

Self-disgust chased frustration across Sam's face.

"So I should use my cane at all times?"

Madeline made a small sound of dissent. "You just have to get a handle on your surroundings. Sensing when things are close."

"Hey! What happened here?"

"I fell," Sam muttered, his attention immediately leaving Madeline and focusing on Dean. "You have fun?"

"Loads of fun. Barrels. Tons. Y'know. A lot."

Dean drew a small smile out of Sam, even though it was tight. Madeline glanced at her watch and then stood.

"I'll get out of your hair, Sam," she said. "Work on your Braille tonight, okay?"

Sam sighed, but Dean grinned. "Aw Sammy, you telling me that you're gonna try and get out of some reading? What happened to my geek?"

"Shut up, Dean," Sam groused, but it was only form.

Madeline felt, not for the first time, that she was intruding, and swiftly left.

Madeline came in one day to find Dean pacing in the living room.

"Problem?"

Dean's haggard face met her. "He's just . . . he's in his room. I don't know . . . he won't talk to me."

Damage control, then. Madeline stiffened herself for tears and anger and headed into the bedroom.

Sam was curled on the floor at the foot of the bed, eyelids closed.

"Sam?" Madeline asked gently. "It's time for your lessons."

Madeline had thought maybe it was a temper tantrum, but she should've known better from the look on Dean's face. Sam was locked inside his own head, deep and far away.

"Sam, sweetie, look at me." Madeline tried to coax him out, but nothing seemed to work.

"Sammy? Sammy, please." Dean was there, next to her. "It's not here. You're safe, now. Hey." Dean folded Sam in close as Madeline stared. It?

"Dean, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Sam was a broken record, and Madeline abruptly felt that she would make things worse.

Going downstairs, she ran into Pastor Jim.

"I want to know what happened. Now," she demanded.

"I can't tell you," Jim said patiently.

"Did someone do this to him?" she asked.

"Not exactly."

Something clicked, and all of Sam's determination to not be a burden and his guilt and self-hatred . . . it made sense. "But something happened and now Sam thinks it's his fault," Madeline said aloud.

Jim winced. "Something like that. Look, I realize this is unorthodox—" Madeline snorted at the understatement "—but they really need your help."

"Trust me, I know." Madeline rubbed her hands together and heaved in a deep breath. "Guess I better get back to work then, huh?"

Madeline couldn't help feeling a feel of pride as Sam walked beside her, cane stretched out, barely brushing the grass in front of them.

"Are we in a park?"

"Uh huh. How are the rest of your senses?" she prodded.

"The wind's kind of distracting, but I can sense you next to me."

"Good." Madeline paused, and Sam automatically stopped as well, turning towards her. Madeline smiled widely. "A couple more weeks and you won't even need me anymore."

"Madeline, thanks for this," Sam said softly. "It helps, not being so . . . well, helpless."

"I know, Sam. I'm just glad you've embraced wanting to be independent. It would be far too easy to lean on your brother, especially with the way he dotes on you."

Madeline was surprised by a bitter twist to Sam's mouth. "Yeah, I know. It's why I couldn't be too dependent on him. He deserves better."

Madeline wasn't sure how to respond, so she kept walking. "I'm glad you two have each other," she finally said.

"Me too."

Madeline knocked on Jim's door to find her pastor looking tired and worn.

"Pastor Jim?" she prompted when he stared at her blankly.

"Oh. Maddie. The boys, they're gone."

A flash of panic shot through her. "Gone? Run away?"

"No." Jim huffed a short laugh and looked like he didn't really find it funny. "Their father came to pick them up."

"Oh." Madeline had never heard about their parents. Jim tended to bring in strays, and she had figured orphans. Apparently she had been wrong. "And they'll . . . they'll be okay?"

Jim looked solemnly at her. "I hope so."

A/N: Last part in this mini-series. Sorry I haven't updated a lot recently, it's exam week next week (yuck). Anyway, I hope I didn't bungle the professional's standpoint too much. Thanks to MysteryMadchen for giving so much help on that front!

SO yeah. Have loads of random fic ideas in the work, but not a ton of motivation. It doesn't help that from what I hear, Season 9 has YET AGAIN taken away all of Sam's agency and character development. So glad I'm not watching, but somehow it still makes me furious listening from the sidelines.

Ugh.

Right, so, let's ignore season 9. As far as Unseen goes, I've hit nearly 50,000 words in total. Crazy, right? Dunno how muc hlonger I can keep this going, but I still have these vaguely planned: a college fic from Sam's POV, John's POV, a S2 fic set at the beginning after John's death, Henrickson's POV in S2 & 3, the S2 finale, a couple S3 re-writes of episodes, and some kind of finale to the whole thing.

whew that's a lot. Here's to writing over Christmas break! :)