A/N: This would be my first published Drarry work in this website. I hope you would bear with the mistakes I have committed while making this story. There might be a lot of typos, grammatical errors and misspelled words in this fiction, and I am solemnly sorry for them. I am not perfect, not even near to it. Please point out my mistakes and help me. I can edit this and correct some of the mistakes. This is Draco-Harry fanfiction. But you might also find some other partnerships in the fic.

Warning: Male-to-male romance. Rated M for future scenes. Underage readers, beware. If you are not in the proper age, please don't read. Adults, go ahead. *wink*

Disclaimer: I am not J.K Rowling, therefore, I don't own Harry Potter. Otherwise, I wouldn't be posting a story here. I would be writing another book where Draco ends up with Harry and such.

I - Faded Flames

Draco didn't know why he dreaded waking up on such a fine day. It was a Saturday morning, so if he should feel anything, it should be excitement, thrilled, happiness, etc. Harry would not have to go to work on Saturdays, so that would mean, they could spend the whole day together. With each other. In each others arms. God, he missed Harry so much.

It had been a while since they actually spent time together. He didn't want to think of it, but every time he was alone at home, he couldn't help but feel sad at the fact that some months ago, Harry had somehow, started distancing himself from him. He went to work on weekdays; he left home so early that sometimes he barely eat breakfast and went home late not even stopping to appreciate the dinner Draco left for him. Of course, Draco understood. Harry was an Auror, a high-ranked at that. If Shacklebolt was to either step down on his position or die (hopefully not, he'd been a good boss to Harry although he kept giving hard missions to him since he trusted his abilities so much), Harry would likely be the one to take over. Draco knew Harry wanted to be the Head Auror someday, and even if the new position would mean Harry would spend a lot lesser time than he already did with him, Draco still welcomed the thought with a genuine smile. He wanted Harry's happiness, and if being the Head Auror meant so much to him, why would Draco contradict?

Other than that, he also noticed that instead of spending his free days at home, for the past weeks, Harry kept on leaving Draco alone saying he had to do things so he could not stay home. Said he needed to solve some case Shacklebolt entrusted to him, or he promised some sick officemate to visit him at home and help him with work, or that he told Shacklebolt he'd spend time with him with Firewhiskey on hand, or sometimes he would just leave without explanation at all. It bothered Draco if he just left without telling him his destination but he knew better than demand Harry for answers. He once tried asking him why he kept on leaving, but it only ended up with Harry disapparating furiously again and spending his night somewhere only Salazar knew where.

So, instead of triggering Harry's anger, he just kept quiet. If Harry left, he would wait for his arrival back.

But what pained Draco the most was the fact that since Harry stopped telling him details about his life, he also stopped being intimate with him. He would not kiss him before leaving like he used to do and he would not even wake him up or carry him to bed if he arrived home finding Draco sleeping on the couch, obviously waiting for him. He would only wake him, poke him harshly on the side or simply letting him sleep out there in the cold. He wouldn't even bother conjuring a blanket to warm him up.

Draco had cried a lot because of Harry's noticeable changes. Even Hermione noticed. She once flooed to the apartment where Draco and Harry lived to visit and comfort the blonde, saying he should understand the pressure in Harry's profession. He had been friends with Hermione since he and Harry started dating 3 years ago. She had been supportive throughout and Draco couldn't help but feel grateful towards her. He had been mean to Hermione back at school, even calling him 'Mudblood', but then she still welcomed him with open arms. Ron Weasley, Harry's other best friend also accepted them. The whole Weasley family had welcomed him warmly too, burying the hatchet. Forgetting the bitter past their families had. Draco treated Molly and Arthur Weasley as his parents, since he already lost his during the war, and the couple treated him like their son, too.

Draco, Harry, Hermione and Christian (Hermione's Muggle boyfriend) were like the Weasley's adopted children. They usually come home to the burrow for spectacular dinners courtesy of Mrs. Weasley. Nobody would deny her fantastic specialties. She even taught Draco and Hermione how to cook so they could manage their own kitchens and feed their own boyfriends. Draco had been very close to Harry's friends, except maybe Ron. They were on good terms, but Ron decided to go abroad and explore to find a bloke of his own. Yes, Ronald Weasley was gay like Harry and Draco. It was quite shocking when he admitted at dinner one time, but eventually, he was of course accepted. So, he travelled the vast lands and oceans in search of his true love. He had been away for almost 2 years.

Pansy also came sometimes with Blaise in tow. She had to drag Blaise's ass to come with her since he didn't plan to visit his best friend who happened to be his ex-boyfriend as well. It seemed like he still hadn't moved on from their break-up years ago. He was still unhappy by the thought that Draco chose Potter over him. But even if Blaise felt bad about him, he still managed to sooth Draco out. He even once told him that if Potter still continued hurting him, he would show him just how much he hated him. It was a warning, and it was serious, but Draco had to smile to that. Blaise was protective, reminding Draco why he'd fallen in love with him before.

Back to present, Draco dragged his feet off the bed and made his way out the bedroom. It had been a while since he remembered and felt Harry lay beside him. It was heartbreaking, but he shut his mouth up, afraid of another misunderstanding that might pull the last straw in their struggling relationship.

He found Harry in the dining table, dressed up, ready to leave, eating breakfast alone. Another pang of pain hit Draco at the thought that Harry didn't even bother waking him to eat breakfast together. It was another sign that they grew apart, very wide apart that even if Draco went to sit beside Harry, it still wouldn't be enough to be close to him again.

"Good morning," he greeted Harry in a soft tone. He made his way to the counter to pour himself a cup of tea. Harry didn't even greeted back, just nodded his head once in acknowledgement. He didn't even look at him, just continued sipping his coffee while reading the Daily Prophet.

After making himself a cup of something warm, Draco went to sit on his usual spot in the table. It was as if he was air, Harry ignored him. Silence was stretching on the four walls of the room so Draco decided to break it. He cleared his throat after a sip of tea, "You're dressed up. Are you off somewhere?"

Harry didn't bring the newspaper down when he answered, "Yup."

Draco didn't know what to ask next. He had lots of follow-up questions after that very short answer but he was afraid it might annoy Harry. So, he decided with one. "Aren't you going to spend the weekend with me? It has been a while..." he pointed out quietly, taking another sip from his tea.

"No," Harry still refused to take the annoying paper down. "I have more important stuffs to do."

Draco felt a great deal of pain after hearing that. More important stuffs to do?

"More important than me?" the question just rolled off his tongue before he could stop it. He looked expectantly at Harry, hoping he would finally face him this time.

He slowly shut the Prophet and looked at Draco. His eyes didn't have the usual warmth in it. It had turned cold.

"Don't be selfish," Harry snapped bitterly. Draco couldn't help but flinch at the word. Selfish? When had he been selfish in their relationship? On the contrary, he was the one always giving. But Draco was not about to blurt that out. "My work needs me, Draco. And I swore in front of the Ministry's official seal, that I would do my best to perform well. I promised to abandon any personal commitment for the call of duty. What do you want me to do? Split myself in half so that I can both be an Auror and your boyfriend at the same time?"

"No-"

"Come on, Draco. You don't own me." he cut Draco's sentence off by continuing his anguish rant. "I have better things to do than waste my time shopping with you. Or cuddling with you, or whatever you think we have to do together. I should rather save plenty of lives than stay at home with you." by the time he finished, his face had been flushed with anger and his eyes were fierce.

"I didn't...I..." Draco didn't know what to say. He was too hurt to think of coherent words to reply to the outburst of Harry. "I...Harry...I-sorry." he didn't know why he apologized. Shouldn't he be the one angry? He was the one thrown with bad sentences yet he ended up saying sorry. He just didn't want to anger Harry more. Even if that meant he had to admit fault to a mistake he never did, he would. For Harry.

Harry sneered coldly. He shoved the Prophet on the table harshly, knocking his cup of coffee in the process, spilling its content on the wooden table. He stood up, scraping the floor with the chairs legs. He glared at Draco, "I'm not going home for lunch." after that, he picked his robe from the nearby chair and wand and apparated away.

Draco stared at the location where Harry apparated for a while before realizing fully what just happened. Harry had just told him his work was much more important than him. Draco understood his passion and dedication for his work. But he wasn't asking him to give up work for him, right? He only needed a little time. Very little time. An hour would have been enough. An hour to show Draco that he could still call Harry 'his', would have been enough. Was an hour too much to ask? Or if Harry couldn't make it for an hour, thirty minutes or heck even just a minute would have been fine! As long as he stayed and showed Draco the reason why he fell in love with him in the first place. Why he left a nice man such as Blaise to be with him. But it seemed like the Harry he loved was gone.

Before Draco could stop it, unstoppable tears started streaming down his eyes.

~/~

"You should leave him, you know." Pansy snarled after hearing Draco's story.

She apparated to their apartment after seeing her weeping best friend on the floo asking her to come. When she arrived, Draco launched himself to her and sobbed on her shoulders. She wasn't able to do anything else other than hug the blonde tighly, hoping he would be fine soon to tell her what happened. When he'd calmed down, she lead them to the dining area only to be greeted by a mess of a spilt coffee on the table. She volunteered to clean it up and magicked two new cups of tea on the table. She seated Draco on a chair and she took the seat beside Draco and listened as he started narrating the scene.

"Pansy, it's not that easy." Draco reasoned weakly, looking at his cup.

"What's not easy?" she snapped. "Just pack your things up, apparate, and never come back! Is that so difficult?"

Draco sighed. They've had the same conversation a hundred of times already. "Pansy, I don't want to leave Harry."

She snorted in her cup and put them back on the table before retorting back. "After all he's done, you still can't leave his sorry arse? Why Draco, you're absolutely stupid!"

Draco merely sighed.

"This has not been the first time I apparated here to be your shoulder to cry on." Pansy continued. "How many times has he done this? How many times have you ignored the pain? How many liters have you cried for him? Exactly how many times have you been stupid for that fucking Potter? What's it that you can't let go of him for?"

Draco looked at Pansy, eye-to-eye. "I love him, that's why." he answered softly.

"Right," Pansy scowled. "The most powerful yet the most terrifying virus that infected you. Love." she spatted the word with disgust. "May I remind you, that love is supposed to be a two-way street. One-sided love never ended happily. You love Potter, yes. But isn't it obvious? He's fallen out of love for you, Draco! He has for sometime now. I'm honestly just waiting for you to come to me crying because he's finally left you for good. That would be better than coming here only to hear you defending Potter after leaving you alone again."

Draco looked at her with pained disbelief, but she didn't let sympathy stop her from speaking of the truth to him. He needed to know. He needed someone to force his eye open or he'd be forever blind. Pansy couldn't let that happen. "Draco I'm your best friend, that's why I'm knocking some sense on you! I'm not saying this to hurt your feelings more, you know I don't want you to get hurt. But if this is the only way to let you know, then I'm grabbing it." Pansy paused and reached for Draco's hand. She squeezed it hard and bit her lip, hesitating. But the second of hesitation vanished. Her desperation to save Draco from more hurt won.

"Potter doesn't love you anymore." she whispered apologetically, brown eyes not leaving the trembling grey ones.

Draco gasped at her revelation. She saw as her best friend's eyes couded with tears again. She wasn't sorry for what she said. She had to do it, or Draco would drain himself. Draco frowned at her and snatched his hand away. He looked hurt and affronted and disappointed at her.

"Pansy, how could you say that?" he hissed as his tears rolled on his cheeks again. "How could you speak of Harry's feelings on his behalf?!" he yelled.

"Draco, I don't have to be bespectacled to see it!" she yelled back. "I don't even need binoculars to notice it from afar! He's distanced himself from you! If you had been blind, surely you've not become numb? Even if I cover myself with thick layers of clothing, I can feel the coldness between the two of you. I'm even wondering why this empty apartment hasn't frozen you yet. Draco, I know you feel it but you're refusing to believe it. But trust me, you have to start believing it."

Draco glared at her, hurt at her words. She was supposed to comfort him, not shatter his heart more. "I don't want to pursue this conversation with you, Pansy. You're being illogical. And judgemental."

"And you're being a martyr." she retorted back.

He growled, "Leave me alone. Go away, now. I don't want to hear anything from you anymore. You're not helping me at all. You're making me feel worse."

Pansy stood up without second demand and made her way to the fireplace. She turned to Draco, "Just so you know, you're fighting a losing battle. And a worthless one at that. Potter doesn't deserve you. He's not worth it. He probably was, but not anymore. It will never survive, the relationship, if only you alone is trying to save it. You're holding on, you're clinging onto him too much. You're being dependent on him when all this time, he's given up on you."

Draco stayed quiet, still glaring at her. She sighed and took a handful of floo powder from the pot and turned her back on him. "You're trying to save a relationship that has long been broken. If you finally see that and decided you need a shoulder to cry on, you know where to find me." with that, she shouted her address and threw the floo powder and vanished with the emerald flames.

For Draco, it was like looking at the eyes of Potter. He couldn't help comparing. It stabbed him to realize that like the raging green fire of the floo in the chimney, the affection in his lover's eyes, had vanished too.

It burned out.

~/~

Like Harry promised, he didn't come home for lunch. Draco didn't expect Harry to come home even if he hadn't promised it. He knew he wouldn't. So, he ate his meal all by himself. He had cooked chicken curry, Harry's favorite food for lunch. Draco hadn't been much of a curry lover, but for Harry, he forced himself to like it and to learn how to cook it. He had learned to do and love many things that he hadn't loved all his life for Harry. He'd learned how to adjust for Harry, he'd sacrificed his work as Potions Master in the Ministry so he would give his time to Harry. His work required almost all his time, but because he didn't want Harry to have to share with his bloody work, he quitted his job.

He knew he was a big loss to the Potions Department since he'd been the best they'd got, but he'd given up what he love to devote his precious time as Harry's lover. But obviously, Harry couldn't do the same for Draco. He'd been understanding about it. He hadn't mind. He hadn't complained. Maybe that was the reason why Harry thought it was fine. Because he never said anything about it. He'd zipped his mouth.

After a very silent and very somber lunch, Draco decided to perform a housewide cleaning. He'd always vacuumed in the morning, especially in the kitchen, and he maintained the cleanliness of their bathroom. He'd been meticulous when it came to hygienic issues, and he got that from his deceased mother. But he noticed, he hadn't been that clean-freak on the second floor. So, after lunch, he used his time cleaning the upper storey.

He made sure that every flight of stairs had been waxed and scrubbed properly before he moved on to their bedroom. He only did little work there because he usually maintained the room clean after waking up and before sleeping. After the bedroom, he decided on the study. Harry worked here so much and if he was at home, spent most of his time sitting in his chair, reading reports from his Department. He'd been working more than the Head of the Auror Department, Draco reckoned.

Folders, jars of ink and quills were sprawled messily on the table. He neatly piled the folders and covered the ink jars and kept the quills inside the drawer. Draco also cleaned the table which had stains of ink on it. Harry had been very busy he forgot to clean that. After the table, he also arranged the papers and folders on the cabinet where Harry kept some important files of the cases he'd handled in the past. He opened few folders and read on it but found them so boring. No wonder he never had the interest to be an Auror. Just facing reports made him nauseous. He was very proud of his Harry. He was not only the Boy Who Lived who stopped serving after murdering He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. He would continue protecting the Wizarding World even after the war. Even if that said war stole his childhood from him. He was letting servitude to the public steal his adult life too. But in the name of service, he was ready to offer it himself. The thought brought smile to his face. Another reason why he shouldn't listen to Pansy.

He didn't mean to be distant. His work was pulling him away. And he shouldn't be a burden to add to Harry's heavy load. He should be more understanding. Even if it was breaking him -them- he should still understand.

That was what Harry wanted. So that was what Draco should give.

~/~

After spending the whole afternoon cleaning, he prepared dinner. He cooked Trout with potatoes and garlic, the first specialty he mastered at the Manor (her mother had an odd obsession on whitefish before) and the first meal that he cooked for Harry. Harry had loved it. So much, that he ended up snogging him all throughout the night, tasting like trout and wine.

Draco decided he would make the dinner tonight as special as the dinner they first shared. Maybe, just maybe, that would rekindle the flames. He just hoped so. He wished he hadn't lost Harry completely.

He set the table romantically; shimmering plates and equally stunning forks and knives and special wine glasses they'd got when they had a trip in France. Corked wine bottle was lying peacefully in a bucket of ice (Draco had seen muggles do it) and the whole setting was completed with candlelight.

He hoped Harry remembered what day it was. It happened to be their 3rd anniversary. The most special day of the year for Draco and Harry.

He would apologize for being an ass to him earlier and acting, according to Harry, 'selfish'. He would step down his pride just to keep Harry. He smiled at his finished product. It was magnanimous. Harry would be nothing but overwhelmed and delighted at Draco's effort. He glanced at the clock and did a quick doubletake. The time was 5:43. At 6:30, Harry might be home already!

He hurried upstairs to have a quick shower and then dressed himself beautifully and elegantly. It was a special night for both of them. Of course, he had to look gorgeous for Harry. After dressing up (which took him the most time because of being indecisive on what to wear), he took out the wrapped gift from the closet. He had prepared a gift for Harry since last week. He couldn't help it, he was just so excited. Hopefully, nothing could spoil their moment. He crossed his fingers on that.

When Draco went out of the bedroom, he heard footsteps and a familiar voice from the study. His brows furrowed and leaned closer to the door.

"Yes...I'm working on that..." Draco heard Harry's voice talking on his mobile phone (muggle contraption of course). Maybe, Harry flooed straight to his study. There was a private chimney in there.

"Yes, I know...I'm sorry I just can't find the right timing...But I promise tonight, I will tell him."

Draco frowned thoughtfully. He couldn't hear properly from the outside. Actually, he shouldn't listen. It was a private conversation between Harry and someone. Someone who? Draco couldn't fight his curiosity, so he opened the door a little and breathed out a sigh of relief when Harry's back was facing the door. He seemed to be stressed out because he was rubbing the side of his temple.

Draco felt bad for him. The person on the other end of the line must be another Auror in the Ministry. Why were they always chasing Harry with problems even at home? And on his anniversary night, at that matter. Couldn't they handle some cases by themselves and leave his poor boyfriend alone? Draco made a mental note to visit the Auror office once and rant at the people there who were taking Harry away from him.

Harry sighed exasperatedly, "Yes, yes. I will do that...I don't know how he would react, but I don't care at all." he snapped harshly.

Harry nodded his head and sighed again, "I promised you right? You know I won't break my promise to you...Of course, I love you more than anything in the world." Harry said softly and sweetly.

Draco was taken aback after hearing what Harry said. He loved-who was Harry talking to?

"Mmmhmm, I will end it up tonight, what Draco and I have."

Draco's eyes widened and his mouth gaped in surprise.

"I've been wanting to break up with him for months now. But as I've told you, I can't find the right timing...I don't want to hurt him, but one way or another, that's gonna happen."

Draco's hand flew to cover his mouth. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I've been distancing from him, hoping he would get the hint. But I think his brain flew out the window because no matter how many times I hurt him and make him cry, every time I went home, he's still there. Waiting for me like a loyal puppy...It's not easy to get rid of him, babe, you know that...He's been so clingy, and I don't know how to shrug him off of me...I leave him everyday, lying about where I go, telling him that I have to work when I only really go to you...Of course, I want you now, not him..."

Tears started falling from Draco's eyes. His heart was reopening fresh wounds again and started bleeding inside. So all this time, every time he apparated away, he was silently begging him to leave? All this time, when he left to go to 'work', he was away with some other bloke? All this time, when he was trying so hard to save what was left, he'd been building another home? When he'd cry himself to sleep, he was on the arms of someone else? When he'd eat dinner alone, he was off on a hot date with his new-found romance. When he'd tire himself waiting for his arrival, he was making love to another man!

Pansy had been right.

He had refused to accept the possibility that what he and Harry had, finally came to its end. He'd forced blindness, hoping it would be alright in the end. Shit, he had been mistaken.

"Yes, I'm sure he's still here. He wouldn't leave until I tell him so, and tonight I would...I don't really know how to tell him. Maybe I'd make excuses...I'd tell him he's not a good cook, he don't clean well, I'm tired of him. And of course, the truth that I don't love him anymore...Yes, me too. I thought he was smart to notice, but turned out I gave him so much credit than what he should be given for..."

Draco silently closed the door and rushed back to their room, slamming the door. He locked it and placed a silencing charm on it. He slammed his back on the door and slowly slid down until his bottom hit the floor. He looked around the bed and then to the gift in his hand.

Before he knew it, he was crying loudly, giving out everything, all the pain Harry had caused him that he so blindly accepted, every harsh words he so stupidly embraced, every fake smile from the past months he so moronically believed, everything. He summoned all out of him through the waterfalls of tears coming out from his silver orbs.

How could he be such a martyr?

He had been so in love with Harry that he forgot to love himself.

And tonight, Harry would finally do it. He would officially break what had long ended. He would leave him...or more specifically, would ask him to flee the house he'd treated as his home for the past 3 years. How could it have been so easy for Harry? It was like he never loved him at all. What had Draco done to make his love transfer to somebody else?

He'd almost given everything, there was barely left for himself, and yet it was not enough?

Draco sobbed uncontrollably for the next 30 minutes.

- curtains -

*A long start. The next chapter would be posted as soon as it is finished.*