Josh woke up to the sound of Evan yelling daddy, daddy. He dragged himself out of bed and for the first time in Evan's whole life he waited to read the letter. Why did it matter if he read it he had it memorized?

Dear Josh,

I love you more than life itself. Never forget that. But I wouldn't live and we wanted children so bad. You were so happy when I told you. Then 2 week I found out about my tumor and the 4% chance of survival. I just couldn't take that away from you. The reason I tried so hard for his name to be Evan was my mom always said that if she had got to my birth certificate first my name would be Evan not Sam. In some way I guess needed to know some version of me would be out there. Josh I know you love me and I love you too but you have my permission to be happy. Don't mourn me forever. I know will so in the boys' letter for their 13th birthday I gave them permission to bug you if they don't think you're happy or getting over me.

Yours forever,

Sam

Josh needed to read his last hope because as long he lived he would never love anyone as much as Sam. It was the only thing he could say for sure anymore.