Disclaimer: I do not own anything besides the basic plot.

Main Pairing: Nico/Percy

Summary: Set after the war with Gaea. Tartarus has taken a greater toll on Percy than he thought. The war with Gaea is what consumed his time; now that it's over he has too much time. When he realizes what the price is for being in Tartarus he isn't so sure that he was glad to survive.

Chapter 1: Darker Than Before

After the war ended Percy thought he spent way too much time in his own head. It seemed to Percy that he had way too much free time on his hands. Getting up from his bed in his cabin tired of doing nothing he decided to head to the arena. He was itching to feel that jolt when his sword made contact with a solid object.

Sliding his hand into his pocket his fingers grasped Riptide, adrenaline pumping as he turned and walked to the right of his cabin around to the back where the arena is. Percy was smiling, hand grasping Riptide he made his way up the small incline. Just a few more meters and he would be able to go wild on whatever his sword could hit, not including other demi-gods.

Finally he had made it; he could smell the dirt, sweat, and blood as he stepped into the arena. The sound of metal clanging against metal as demi-gods sparred with each other exhilarated Percy. He scanned the area for a nice dummy all to himself. He saw one that look in pristine condition, looking he saw the other demi-gods, mostly those from the Ares cabin, were engaged in sparring with each other so this dummy was all his, perfect. He walked over, with each step the adrenaline was getting to his head making it extremely hard not to give a savage yell and run for the dummy, he did not need strange looks from the other kids.

He took in a long breath as he stood in front of the dummy, straw poking out of its thin beat up armor. Percy smiled as images of the dummy in shreds at his feet came to mind. He just needed to destroy something; he wanted to destroy something for fun and this dummy was victim number one. He let his breath out as he uncapped Riptide eyes narrowing as he imaged the dummy could move.

Taking a step imaging that the dummy's hulking arm was swung at him with an imaginary weapon he dove forward as the imagined weapon barely missed the top of his head. I smirked pleased with the outcome and took a wild hard swing at where a supposed leg would be, imaginary monster goo came spewing out causing Percy to chuckle, almost giggle, in delight. The imaginary monster enemy gave an enraged howl as another attack came at his left side so he waited till the last minute and fell below the line of impact and rolled to left Riptide ready to jab the monsters gut. Riptide never made contact with the imaginary foe. White hot pain erupted in the back of Percy's eyes blurring his vision, he didn't realise until he tasted blood that he had bitten his tongue.

Riptide clattered to the dirt floor has Percy's hands flew to his temple in attempt to grab at the pain, it was useless. His vision was in and out of focus now, Riptide was becoming a bronze blob and then sharpening into the sword it was. Fists clenched beside his temple has he shut his eyes tightly, the pain didn't seem like it was going to subside anytime soon. At this moment it was like someone had opened the back of his head and was pouring the liquid fire of the Phlegathon into it. He was sure that if someone had walked up they would see smoke coming from his eyes, he felt they were on fire.

It felt like forever when the pain slowly ebbed away. Out of breath and adrenaline Percy slowly opened his still slightly throbbing eyes. The bright sun flooded his senses and he whimpered as he shut them again, this time not so tight. Percy sat up carefully feeling for the cool bronze of Riptide, shakily he capped the pen and stuffed it back into his pocket.

Shielding his eyes he slowly opened them, they still hurt but it was nothing compared to what it was. Now it was just a dull throbbing, like you get when someone is lightly poking your arm the only difference was it didn't seem to stop. To calm himself he focused on the noise of steal hitting steal and yelling demi-gods. Soon he was able to get up without shielding his eyes and dust himself off.

Some of the campers who were sitting on the sidelines gave him funny looks as he gave them his best smile. "Just some very painful dirt got in my eyes." He supplied. It seemed to work and the demi-god just shrugged.

Taking the first step was harder than he thought; his body was still tight from the pain. He popped his neck and tried to walk out like nothing had happened. He looked around grateful that the camper bought his excuse or it could have been due to the fact that he was one of the greatest heroes of his day and they didn't want to protest his excuse. Perhaps that was it and that thought irked him, he was still just a regular teenager, well sort of.

Right now he wanted to be alone, even though it seemed he spent a lot of his time alone since he broke up with Annabeth and went through Tartarus. He wasn't sure why but now he kind of liked the solitude, it gave him a break from trying to be everyone's best friends or was it everyone else trying to be his friend? Probably the latter considering he was this oh so great hero. He really hated that, he just wanted to be normal.

Turning toward the cabins that were down a small incline his eyes laid on the Hades cabin. He could see the Greek fire from here yet for some reason he had to squint to make out the pillars. Percy convinced himself that it was because it was black and far away. Black was always hard to see anyway and it made detail almost impossible to see. Seeing that cabin made him extremely upset, it was all Nico's fault. Nico decided he was just going to leave after delivering the Athena statue and he stuck to his guns, the stupid half-Italian left, left Percy alone… not that he would admit it right now but it hurt.

Percy still wondered what Nico's problem was with him when he was getting ready to shadow travel the Athena statue. Nico had blown him off when he had tried to thank him for pretty much saving his life while he was in Tartarus, if it hadn't been for Nico then Bob would had never come to their rescue. It was Nico who convinced Bob and told him that Percy was a good friend. That's what Percy didn't understand, if he was a really good friend then what did he do to get the cold shoulder from Nico? He wanted to know so he could get back into his good books, or more like ok-ish books.

Lifting his gaze he saw the lake; that was his next destination. He would be spending a lot of time there today. Although most of the view was blocked by the goddess's cabins and the lavatory (a fancy word he had learned from Annabeth and was quiet fond of it). He had to squint to make out any of the cabins, otherwise it was just a blob with strange colours. He shook his head, the throbbing or finger poking sensation was still there in the back of his eyes. Intent on the lake he headed down the small hill.

He entered the now lopsided "u" that made up the cabins, lopsided because of the addition of some minor gods and Hades. Percy never wanted to get caught calling his sort of favorite uncle a minor god, he imagined it would not end well. He was just about to pass through the other side of the "u" shape when he spotted Annabeth, his now ex-girlfriend but still best friend. They had found that kissing each other was like kissing a brother or sister and it didn't really make sparks fly for either of them. Tartarus ironically helped them come to a mutual break-up; their minds had been on different people the entire time.

Annabeth had seen him as well and was grinning and waving, yet although she looked happy he could tell that just like him their time in Tartarus was still haunting her. He had no idea how Nico had gotten through it and alone to top that. Though Percy supposed she was a lot happier the girl of her dreams stood next to her. Reyna gave him a smile as he approached them. They were both standing just to the right of the Athena cabin.

"Hey, what's up Seaweed Brain?" She nudged his shoulder in a friendly way. Reyna gave Percy a friendly nod and took her leave after pecking Annabeth on the cheek making the blond girl blush.

"You guys look cute together! Nothing just wanted to see a familiar face." He said in an upbeat fashioned, he really did think they were cute together. Besides Annabeth was so much happier with Reyna at her side than she had been with Percy so how could he not?

She looked down her face no longer red and guilt flashed in her eyes as she chewed her lip before speaking, "Percy…" He shook his head and placed a finger on her lips, affectively shushing her.

"You know as well as I do that we are like brother and sister, it was so awkward kissing you." He gave her his signature grin and she whacked his arm happy that he was just regular old Percy and not outwardly affected by their break-up, it had been mutual after all.

He saw her visibly relax. Sometimes he wanted to smack her upside the head and then use some fancy lingo to get sense back into her head. It was a mutual break-up anyway and seeing each other just reminded them too much of that place and besides that they both found themselves thinking of another person. Strange enough they had Tartarus to thank for finally making it easier to come out of that deep closet, even if at first it had only been to each other. Now Annabeth was completely out while Percy still had one foot in the door, scared that camp or someone might reject him because they wouldn't allow a gay hero or something silly like that. Annabeth knew this and was his confidant that girl could keep a secret well and he was grateful until she started pestering him about who he liked, he just wasn't ready at this moment to tell her although he suspected she already knew.

"Not to mention the whole gay thing." They both laughed and shuddered at the thought of kissing each other again now that everything was out in the open.

"So" she said watching how Percy glanced behind her head in the direction of the lake, "I'll let you go this time Perce but I want to know who it is you like, I will pester you every time I see you so be prepared." He grimaced and gave her a slightly annoyed smile as she simply smirked in triumph knowing she would get it out of him.

"Gee, thanks so much. Anyway, yeah I want to get to the lake. You know need to think." He gave her a small smile and damn was she worried about that Seaweed brain. He seemed to spend a lot of time by himself something that was just not like him. She pushed her worry away not wanting to get him agitated and then really starts to seclude himself; these days she didn't know what was up with him besides the whole gay situation and worrying about people's reactions.

She nodded in response. "I know you just want to go suck faces with Reyna so see you later Wise Girl." He ran away from her before her blush became rage and she whacked him upside the head with her fists, repeatedly.

Rounding the corner of the lavatories the lake came into sight, the water shimmered in the midday sun… or was it morning? It always seemed darker these days. He was always surprised when people would tell him what time it was, Percy thought it was way too dark to be that early. It was strange really, he thought the world was supposed to be brighter now that he was out of that dark pit, it's like Tartarus was slowly seeping into the mortal realm making it darker and darker.

That's another thing, while things were getting darker in Percy's opinion, things were also getting louder. For instance he could hear things from a further distance. Sometimes it was hard to sleep because the leaves even in the slightest breeze caught his attention and had him warily holding Riptide in a vice like grip ready to strike at the enemy before his exhausted brain can determine that no it's not a monster hungry for demi-god just the leaves rustling in the breeze. Dang tree kept him up sometimes before he realized it was nothing and decided to settle down. It hadn't been like this before but ever since Tartarus it was like everything was going to attack him, he didn't know how Nico kept so composed, at least on the outside. Percy was sure one day he would lose it.

Percy neared the lake; it looked so inviting to him. The water was slightly rippling because of the wind sending patterns of light across the surface making it glitter so beautifully. Percy frowned, now that he thought about it the lake had only begun to glitter when he was just passed the lavatory. Strange, perhaps it was because the structure blocked his view? Yet he remembered that he had to squint to look at the Hades cabin, could he really blame that on the black paint? Not sure what to think he made his way to the dock.

He stood at the edge and not bothering to undress he jumped in, it wasn't like he was going to get wet anyway. The water swallowed him happily as he touched the surface with his feet first. Then slowly he was sinking as if a feather in the wind to the bottom of the lake. Willing himself to stop he made the water cushion him as he closed his eyes, that blasted throbbing hadn't left him yet.

Now Percy let his mind wander to Tartarus. It was strange, at least thought it was, when he had first gotten out of Tartarus it was like the world so bright and band new that it hurt to look at it all, it had been that way for Annabeth as well. Yet, now it seemed as though things were only getting duller, the world to him now was darker than before. He had spoken to Annabeth about that and she disagreed with him and he accounted it for the fact that she has Reyna now, someone that would listen to her and hold her. Percy really wanted that too, yet he thought because he was a hero, supposedly, that everyone would need holding by him so he tried to keep those kinds of thoughts at bay.

Closing his eyes his mind drifted to a different part of his brain, that place was kept for a certain half-Italian. Nico, the name was almost bitter on his tongue. Percy knew it was because of the way that Nico blew him off when they had last spoken. Also when that idiot said he wouldn't ever be coming back to camp, it hurt Percy deeply. Despite all his best efforts at contacting Nico his Iris Messages never went through and the mail he sent by way of Hermes always came back. He wasn't sure what he had done but whatever it was Percy guessed it was pretty bad and the worst thing is he didn't know what it was, he couldn't fix it if he didn't know. Percy bit his lip in worry, he didn't like it all when Nico had brushed him off, at that time he wasn't sure what to do but afterwards when Nico was gone he had sort of kind of wanted to cry. He wanted to thank Nico because really it was Nico who brought him and Annabeth out of Tartarus safely. It also made Percy realise how he isn't all that. Especially when it came to friends, Bob and Calypso to name a few; their names also bitter on his tongue. How could he have done that?

Right now all Percy wanted was to see his Ghost King, err he meant everyone's Ghost King. That boy had a way of haunting Percy's thoughts, Percy really didn't mind though it was so much better than thinking about Tartarus and drinking gross flaming water, that river still sounded like a spit ball competition to him. He had to smile about that, it was at least one funny moment Tartarus between getting nearly killed and ripped to pieces by angry monsters he had already killed.

A soft sob escaped his lips, since when was Percy crying? He wiped them away only to have them be replaced by more tears. He wanted his, yes his Nico so badly that it hurt. His head, no the back of his eyes especially hurt, it was someone pouring that fiery water from the Phlegathon into his brain again only to have it pool and settle in the back of his eyes.

Pulling his knees up he laid in the fetal position and shook. The pain was searing and white hot, it was horrible and he was sure that this time it would stay with him; it felt like it would never leave. All Percy could do was keep wishing that he had a certain handsome son of Hades to cuddle into and have those arms around him telling him he was going to be ok. He knew that would never be the case, it just wouldn't ever happen for him. He was so sure of it.

When it was bearable he unfurled from the tight ball he was making. He didn't remember when but he had shut his eyes but he didn't dare open them, it seemed as though the light just made the pain worse. When he had them shut he could at least think straight. Percy's bottom lip was quivering uncontrollably as he began to cry very loudly; what was happening to him and why of all times could he not get a hold of Nico, he wanted, no he needed him so badly right now.

WITH NICO

He said he would leave and that's exactly what he did. He couldn't be reminded of his, no not his, Sea Prince. He clenched his fists waiting for Percy to just get out of his head it wasn't even fair and he didn't have a chance. He was still hopelessly in love. That idiot, Percy, always made things worse. It wasn't bad enough that Cupid made him admit it in front of Jason of all people but more because of the fact that at that moment he finally admitted to himself that he was gay. Nico had grown up when it was a big no-no so the thought had scared him so much. Cupid making him say aloud his deepest darkest secret in front of fucking Jason that was just-just he didn't even know how to put it.

Nico glared at his reflection in the mirror as he gritted his teeth, fists still clenched. Stupid fucking love making him feel all weird and fluttery, gods it was so hard to keep Percy from his mind, that guy was like a parasite that loved to infest Nico's mind and consume it. Focusing on the mirror Nico glared at himself, yeah he had gotten taller, he had even gotten some muscles but who was going to care? Bianca was dead after she abandoned him in a sissy little gang of girls, he couldn't blame her for wanting to belong but he was her little brother how could she have left him so easily? Yet, the Fates had brought him to Hazel. He wanted to be a big brother to her yet he wasn't sure he was doing a good job. He had left after all, he would only accept IM's from Hazel and he made he swear on the River Styx not to tell anyone, especially that Percy Jackson. If she told him no doubt he would demand her contact him and then he just wouldn't be able to stay away from his, no not his, Sea Prince. Mainly because Percy would pester him, kind of like an itch you can't scratch, and he would break down when the son of Poseidon would turn those big beautiful sea-green eyes on him and plead him to come back. If only Percy knew what kind of power he held over Nico.

He turned the faucet on and stared at the water. Nico let out a low half-crazed chuckle, the fucking water was reminding him of that parasite; no he really wasn't a parasite it just it felt that way when all he could think about was a certain little son of Poseidon. That damned demi-god was always in his thoughts from the time he got up to the time he went to bed, then he even dare appear in his dreams. That Sea Prince would say and do such sinful things in his dreams that Nico was sure he wouldn't mind being in a coma for the rest of his life, at least he could live out his little fantasies.

Nico glanced at himself in the mirror one last time before he splashed cool water on his face. He certainly had grown; even Demeter had commented on it and said it was thanks to the wheat she practically shoved down his throat every day since he got back. He guessed the Underworld Palace had to have one bad thing out it since having the only godly parent who actually in his own weird way cared and let his child live with them. He really couldn't complain he had his own room, his own bathroom that he didn't need to share and a king sized bed. Damn that thing was so comfortable although it would be better with a certain someone sprawled on it, leg spread wide and begging for… Ugh not again, he really needed to stop those dreams before he actually went up to Camp Half-Blood and dragged Percy to his bedroom to ravish, these days it seemed as though that desire was worse. It fucking sucked.

Nico sighed and finished in the bathroom and stepped out with a scowl that matched Hades. Stripping down to his skull boxers he stood in front of the full length mirror. No, he wasn't scrawny anymore he actually have a very nicely toned body, one he could use to shove Percy into the mattress with, he really needed to stop with those thoughts. His hair had gotten longer and wilder, it was shoulder length now and it seemed no matter what he did he could not tame his hair, in the end he always gave up and left it a mess, it's not like it looked that bad. Last he looked into his own eyes; they were dark, almost black and let little light in, although that could be due to where he was. The Underworld didn't really have natural lighting lest you count the river of fire and various torches. He walked away from the mirror and to his closet, he had no idea what to wear, perhaps black and black.

Staring at the copious amounts of black clothing and the odd blue piece here and there he just grabbed for whatever. He came out with black skinny jeans and a black T with a, low and behold, skull motif on the front. It was so original he could spit. He even had matching black socks; he grabbed his boots and pulled them on. Once ready he spared a look in the mirror, gee if he put eyeliner on he could be Goth, what a shocker. Nico left his room to eat breakfast.

Joining his Father for breakfast was always interesting. Between eating his marshmallow only cereal, could he even call it cereal? Of course he could, that is what the box said after all, and Demeter practically shoving stalks of wheat down his throat it was nice. He still supposed she wasn't all that bad but the woman seriously did not want to see that her daughter might be remotely happy with his dad; Demeter could really get on his nerves.

One good thing came out of being in the Underworld so often, he and Persephone actually sort of, maybe, kind of liked each other. At least she wasn't threating to turn him into a weed again. Nico had to say that really liked Persephone, after she had calmed down and they had their really weird heart to heart she wasn't all that bad, kind of like Hera he supposed, sick of all the demi-god children their husbands had. But that wasn't to say that he didn't still have nightmares about bees, although now it was popcorn and bees.

"Nico, you need to eat cereal. I do not care what the box says, that" Demeter pointed to his breakfast. "Is not good, you need to eat more wheat, you'd do better if you did. After all it was because of the wheat I gave you that you have grown into a nice young man, so much better than my dear brother." Hades and her gave each other stiff smiles and Nico had to roll his eyes, seriously where they in the third grade or something?

He glared at her as she ate her grossly healthy breakfast; there wasn't even any sugar on her cereal, "healthier" she always says. Marshmallows were breakfast, heck sometimes Percy had fucking ice cream, oh what he wouldn't do to see Percy all tied up buck naked with ice cream on his body ready for Nico to like off, he really needed to stop that at least in polite company, gods Percy can be such an imaginary tease. That son of Poseidon always had to invade his brain and do things to little Nico he wasn't so sure he appreciated, it was hard enough knowing that he could never have the beautiful boy. Seriously he was a fucking parasite and he just happened to latch on to Nico's every train of thought. He tried to mentally squash Percy into a corner of his subconscious, as usual it failed miserably.

"Father," Nico spoke up gaining Hades attention, "may I leave the table?" He had finished his cereal, marshmallows, just not the milk it was always gross and sickly sweet.

He waited as his father gave him a slow nod and small smile. Hades wasn't stupid, he knew something was wrong with Nico and when he found the source of his sons constant sighing and bad tempers he would crush it without a second thought. Well of course unless Nico really didn't want him too, whatever was going he was going to find out. He had a feeling that his wife already knew, maybe he would consult her later.

"If you're going up to the mortal realm bring a jacket, it's getting cooler." Nico just raised a hand in response to Persephone. It was weird how the goddess cared for him, not unwelcome in the least and just almost, like a real mother would. Nico actually kind of liked it, it reminded him that some gods were bigger than not liking a demi-god simply because of whose it was, he really was fond of Persephone, he would never admit it though.

Stalking to his room again he opened his closet, he'd be damned if he didn't listen to her. She could get weirdly worried about him. Nico grabbed his aviator's jacket off the first hanger to the left and slipped it on, that should do the trick. Since, well he can't remember when, but, the jacket had actually been fitting him properly instead of always falling off one shoulder when it wasn't zipped up. Nico thought he looked like he should in, not like a little boy trying to wear his father's shoes or something to that affect.

Finding his iPod in the pocket he untangled the headphones and stuck the ear buds in. he thumbed through his collection of metal and rock and settled for Avenged Sevenfold. He pressed down on the song "Nightmare" and cranked up the volume as the music began to come through the head phones Nico turned to find a shadow.

He stepped into it not really thinking of where to go. When he heard the obnoxious noise and many interesting smells he realised where he had gone to. Great way to try and put Percy out of your mind when you shadow travel to the fucking city that demi-god lives in.