24. Thank You For Playing

"Got your deck back. A shame you never got to use it." B. was holding the Poker deck Kaiba had bought in his world. "Mokuba gave me the number of the guy he had sold it to. Take it before Puppy gets here."

Kaiba took the deck back and put it in his pocket. "I assume you're not gonna tell him anything then."

B. frowned. "Ugh. I just finished patching things up between us. I don't think it would be wise to do so right now. Maybe… maybe when I'm on my deathbed… Though I'm pretty sure he has an idea something went on. I mean, it does seem like an obvious scheme if you think about it. Maybe I should say thanks that my Puppy can be a little too thick-headed sometimes…"

"Thick-headed, huh? For someone who outright called him dumb a few days ago, this seems like a nice change." On the inside, Kaiba agreed with the decision of not telling him; he'd probably never be forgiven. "Well, tell him or not; it's not like this is any of my business anyway."

"Right, not your business. Like you didn't go out of your way to help us." B. had the gall to roll his eyes.

Kaiba just pretended he didn't hear that. "Hmph. Take care of your brother."

"I will. What will you do with the Otherwordly… well, the dimension machine?"

Kaiba thought for a moment, while looking away. "I don't know. It's burned up. I think after this time it'll probably never work again."

B. smiled weakly. "I see. I guess we won't be seeing each other anymore."

"Well… it's probably for the best. Who's to say we're not destroying the space-time fabric with that thing? Next time, try to solve your problems in your own dimension."

"No moral lessons, grandpa. Do you wanna boringify the whole thing?"

"Whatever. If you ever show up in my world again, I'm shooting you on the spot."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll miss you too."

He was in doubt about his next move, but decided when he saw the Joeys coming in the distance. "In any case, keep this here. It used to be a holographic device I was working on, but I modified it a little. I checked those pages you saved from the Rooney book; while it couldn't help me build another machine, I might have made something else. Turn it on if you ever hear it beeping."

B. took the gadget and started to examine it. "Ooh, how exciting! Can't wait to see what it does."

When the Joeys arrived, they all shook hands, and Kaiba and Joey left to cross back outside of the mansion, like when they came.

"See ya, guys. Walk the line, B."

"Bye, outlanders. Don't get lost on the way."

And that's how they left.

Joey crossed his arms as he watched them disappear out the gates. "Why did he call you B.?"

B. tried his hardest not to look guilty. "Oh, uh… they wanted to know if I had a nickname, and that's what people called me when I was a kid." Well, it was the truth.

"B.? As is Bullshitter?"

"As in… let's go take a bath and I'll tell you all about it." B. passed an arm around Joey's neck.

"That sounds like a plan."

"I was thinking about your sister. If she wants to go back to living with you, why don't you just ask her to live here with us? The more new siblings, the merrier."

"Nah, she hates mansions and luxury."

"Seriously?"

"Duh, of course not. And don't you even think about putting the moves on her. She would probably castrate you before you even tried."

B.'s hands instinctively went straight to the family jewels. "Ouch… I'm only interested in one person anyway. Wait, did you just 'duh' me?"

Joey grabbed B.'s wrists suddenly, holding them tightly with a serious look. "Don't you do that no more, you hear me?"

B.'s smile was of the enigmatic variety. "Not while you're still around I won't."

"I'm serious, Kaiba! I catch you doing that again, I finish you off myself!"

"Yeah, yeah." He had important people to take care of now, maybe it was time to deal with his problems a different way.

oOo

"It was fun. Y'know, when B. wasn't sexually assaulting us. B. Huh, in the end I didn't find out what it stood for." As soon as they crossed back, Joey removed his wig while staring at the apparently dead gadget on Kaiba's hands.

Kaiba felt a sudden vague nostalgia. "Our last name…"

"What? What are you talking about? It's Kai-ba, not Bai-ka."

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "You dweeb. It was his… my… last name before Gozaburo came along."

Joey started to babble, unable to control himself. "Oh of course you're right I completely forgot I can't believe I never asked sorry I really am curious now it hadn't crossed my mind I…"

Kaiba passed his arms around his neck. "You wanna know?"

"I… of course!"

"Before being Seto Kaiba, I was..."

Kaiba whispered the name in his ear, and Joey's eyes widened.

"Oh, wow… er… you can call me a kiss-ass but uh… I think it fits you like a glove."

Kaiba kissed him before they entered the house. "You would like to kiss my ass, wouldn't you? God, Wheeler. You and your weird fetishes."

"Agh, son of a—"

"Guys, you're back! Big brother, I'm dying here. Please tell me everything!"

So it was this Mokuba's turn to hear (the PG-13 version of) the story.

"Any questions?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Hmm… just one. Are you and Joey going out now?"

"Well… I think we should talk first, then we'll let you know. Come, Mr. Fudo. Let's have that little chat."

Joey gulped, not sure of what to expect. "Er… sure, Kiryu."

oOo

He should have expected a hot tub, because that's where they were right now, coincidentally, just like their counterparts.

Joey leaned back against Kaiba, who poured a very nice-smelling soap on his chest, and then started to lather and massage him. He felt a tongue on his ear.

"Would you like to talk, Mr. Fudo?"

"I, uh… sure, let's talk… ah… Kiryu…"

Kaiba bit Joey's neck, while his hands descended to rub his legs. "What do you want me to say?"

"Oh no, we're not doing that again. Last time it was torture."

"Oh, so your body isn't shy anymore but your mind is. Fine, I won't say anything then." He continued rubbing Joey's legs, patiently teasing him.

"Well, it don't have to be like that. You know what I want you to say. But…"

"But?" He had poured shampoo on Joey's head and now was making a foamy mess on his hair.

"I'm not gonna… I'm not gonna force you or anything. Sure, nothing would make me happier than hear you say you feel the same way I do, but if you don't—"

"I feel the same way you do. See? Wasn't that easy?"

"I… what? Y-you said it, just like that…?" Joey tried to turn around, but Kaiba kept him in place.

"I'm not afraid of anything, Wheeler. Maybe… maybe I was a bit wary at first, but… someone helped out a little. Just a little bit."

Joey's heart was racing like mad. "B.? Who'd think he'd help at something like this…"

"Hn. Don't praise him too much. If you heard his advices, you'd probably lynch him."

"I… let me turn around!"

"Can't you wait a little? I'm washing your hair."

"Screw my hair, I wanna kiss you!" As soon as he finished speaking, Kaiba pushed him so he could dunk his head underwater.

"Your roots are showing."

"What? Fuck off, I don't dye!"

"Well, the carpets certainly don't match the drapes." He dunked Joey again.

"Hey! Stop trying to kill me, I'm still basking here!" He managed to turn around finally and kiss him passionately.

Kaiba's hands slid over his back, reaching his butt. "Hey, what do you know; your ass is pretty great too." Before Joey could respond, he got up, with him still clinging to his neck. "C'mon, I think we stayed long enough to disinfect ourselves from that stupid world." He grabbed Joey's thighs, as Joey crossed his legs around him, and walked to the bed. They fell on it, kissing like they were starved for one another.

"So, no towels? The bed's gonna get all wet."

"Fuck the bed. Ah... never mind." Kaiba didn't waste any time with teasing now, since he too was on the edge. He messed around the nightstand and came up with a hand lotion. "This'll have to do. I promise I'll be more prepared next time."

"Ah… uh-huh."

He kissed Joey's chest while opening the flask of lotion. "Don't be nervous. Have I done something wrong up until now?"

"Well, no. But this is kind of a bigger deal."

Kaiba poured some lotion on his fingers. "Relax. I excel at everything I do, even if I'm doing it for the first time."

"Oh, so I guess I'll just have to trust your overconfidence and everything will be fine, huh?"

"You can do that. Or you can trust my tongue also." He pulled himself down, and in the next instant his lips closed around Joey. While he sucked, his clean hand grabbed one of Joey's thighs and pushed his leg against him. "Hold this please."

Joey didn't even have a mind to say anything by then. He held his leg, focusing on how good Kaiba's mouth felt on him. When he felt a slick finger intruding him, he was more shocked with the fact that it didn't hurt as much as he thought it would than with the actual act.

Then he forgot all about hurting because it only felt good. So maybe Kaiba wasn't lying about how he was good at everything he did.

Joey moaned relatively loudly. "K-Kaiba, are your walls soundproof?"

"Actually I never tested it before. Care to find out? Just try not to scar my brother for life."

"Ah… I'll… I'll try to be quiet."

But he was finding it hard to keep his word as a moan escaped his lips between a pained grunt. Kaiba must have probably put another finger because it hurt again, but he was too horny to care. His hands grabbed the sheets while he tried to overcome that feeling. Again, it didn't take long. His heart was speeding and his jaw tingling from breathing too fast.

"K-Kai—"

"I think that's enough."

"Holy fuck, you are cruel!"

"What? I wanna have some fun too." He wiped his fingers on the sheets and positioned himself on top of Joey. "Not that sucking and fingering you wasn't fun."

Joey's face was already red, but he still managed to blush and smile impishly. "You talk dirty."

Kaiba kissed him softly. "Not really, but I do say what's on my mind. Put your arms around me."

He put his arms and legs around him, and Kaiba entered him slowly. Joey's short fingernails dug in his neck, as he fought not to cry out. Kaiba whispered in his ear about how good it felt to be inside him, and other little clichés that were nothing but truth. Soon, his fingernails loosened from Kaiba's neck and he searched him for a kiss.

"You know, this is all your fault. If you hadn't confessed to me back then, this wouldn't be happening." Kaiba's voice was pretty composed, but he was having a hard time keeping it that way.

"I… I don't see you complaining. Besides, it's not 'my fault'; it's 'thanks to me'."

"I love it when you're a smartass."

Joey's eyes showed Kaiba exactly what he loved, as he pulled him to a slow yet hard kiss, which he had to soon interrupt and throw his head back, awestruck with the sudden over-the top wave of pleasure that hit him. His hips pushed against Kaiba, trying to get more of that exquisite feeling.

Kaiba moved like he had done this a hundred times before. At least that's what Joey thought. Not that he had any base to compare, but he was pretty sure first times weren't supposed to go this smoothly. Kaiba held himself over him, while his other hand caressed his face, as he thrust in him fluidly.

"You're... ah... you're good at this."

"Told you so." He reached his hand down to stroke Joey, thrilled with the sounds he was making and the nails digging into his back. Before he knew it, possessiveness took the better of him and he was sucking on Joey's neck strong enough to leave a considerably large hickey over the small one that was already fading.

"Damn… the guys will never let me hear the end of that. I'll get you back, you know."

"Be my guest. My regular choice of garment will hide it anyway."

"Shit, there's no winning with you is there." Truthfully, he didn't mind one bit carrying around a mark that would show everyone he was Kaiba's. Sure, his friends would probably pass out on their feet when they heard about it, but he knew they'd be happy for him. "Fine, since no one will see it anyway, maybe I'll do more than just a hickey." Saying that, he scratched Kaiba's back from top to bottom.

"Ah… fuck…" He started thrusting harder into Joey. Between lewd moans, Joey squeezed an apology and started lowering his arms from Kaiba's back.

"Don't be fucking sorry. I didn't tell you to stop."

Oh. Well. That was interesting. So Joey kept scratching, wondering when he had gone from dog to cat.

"Are you close?" Kaiba stroked Joey fast, faster than his thrusts, and Joey's only answer was a prolonged moan that sounded like uh-huh. "Good." He breathed deeply, shuddering as he exhaled, and that sight was too much for Joey.

He didn't know how loud he screamed his name as he came, but as he was about to do it again, Kaiba's tongue was in his mouth, shutting him up, so it had probably been really loud.

Then Kaiba stopped the kiss and rested his forehead on Joey's as he thrust deeper one last time. As he relaxed, this would be the part where he said something quirky or sassy, but the only thing he did was kiss Joey.

On the cheek.

For all the romantics out there, it could be said Joey took that blissful moment to think about how much he loved Kaiba, but truth be told, there was only one thing in his mind right now.

I just had sex...

And he was never going back to the not-having-sex ways of the past.

oOo

A few months later

"Is it finished?" Joey grabbed a little device that was strangely similar to the holoprojectors from a certain series of sci-fi movies. Though it probably worked differently.

"I think so. Your wig is crooked."

"Heh, never thought I'd use the ol' crab hair again." He fixed the wig and grabbed a pair of blue sunglasses from a table. "Put on your sunglasses."

"They don't really make any difference, you know."

"Yeah, but you look really hot in them. Well, not that you're not hot without them. Agh, you know what I mean."

"Alright, alright. Let's test this then." Kaiba pressed a button but nothing happened.

"B.? Are you there?"

"Give it time. Who knows what they're—"

A voice was heard from the gadget. "It beeped! Puppy, put your clothes on! I think we've got a call!"

The end

Ta-dah! I can't believe it's really over after more than 8 months. I thought it was never going to end... by the way, this is totally not what I had in mind when I thought about writing something with Joey and two Kaibas... I wonder if I'll get back to the original idea someday.

Are there plot-holes? Probably, that's what I get for not having a beta, especially on a story this size. If you find some, please ask away and I'll try to answer as best as I can.

And I have no idea what B. will tell him about the uh, communication (is it holographic? I don't even know) thingie…

The thing with Joey holding B.'s wrists at the end... I had written more about it actually (it does make a "blink and you'll miss" appearance in Cat's Cradle) there was something about his past struggles with depression, and about how Joey fell in love with him, but... it didn't really go anywhere, and I think everyone was tired of the AU guys anyway. I could come up with a few drabbles, though not much more than that.

I seem to be forgetting something… Oh, right. The name I came up with for Kaiba before he was Kaiba. I ended up not putting it on the story because I felt it was too intrusive to do something like that (sure, having them boning each other is A-Okay, but a made-up name is Serious Business). I don't know, anything that's never outright stated in the anime is fair game I guess, but somehow I couldn't. I don't know if it's actually used as a name by anyone, since I've never seen it, it's just a word I think about whenever I think of Seto Kaiba: 万全

I don't know if the kanji is gonna show up here or it'll be just a bunch of squares, but the name/word is Banzen. It means... Perfection. There. That's what B. stands for. Not too shabby, huh Kaiba-sama?

The alternate title for this chapter was Return From the Different Dimension, because references to the card game are never enough (and it's a Kaiba card). But I just love it when I see Thank You For Playing or a variation of it at the end of a video game.

Thanks for reading!

~Omake~

The whole gang sat around a bonfire to celebrate Halloween.

Joey: …That's when the babysitter got a call from the kids' mom, asking if everything was okay. She said that everything was fine, but that angel statue was really freaking her out. She asked if she couldn't put a blanket on it or something. The mom got silent for a moment, but then she spoke as fast as she could: "Take the kids and get out of the house! We don't have an angel statue!" When the cops got there, they found nobody. No kids, no babysitter, no statue.

Yugi: Ugh, that was so creepy, Joey! I got goose-bumps!

Tristan: Then who was phone?

Téa: That's a different story, you dork.

Kaiba: Oh yeah? You wanna hear a really creepy story? We went to a world where Duel Monsters didn't exist.

They all screamed.

.

..

...

...

...¬¬v

(and holy shit who ends a smut scene with a Lonely Island quote? me that's who)

Joey: Doesn't matter, had sex.

[Joey and Kaiba will return in... something much hotter hohohoh wait for it!]

(and follow me on tumblr, konoyaro! i'm leviphiliac)