School is in Session, Sasuke-Sama!

Summary: In a twisted turn of events, Uchiha Sasuke, son of the infamous Uchiha crime-lord and heir to the business, is sent to high school to, quote, "learn social-etiquette." Unbeknownst to him, the school he is sent to is no normal high school. Run by a gambling drunk who happens to know Sasuke's identity and made up by students such as Uzumaki Naruto and Haruno Sakura, Sasuke's about to learn how about 'social-etiquette' in the most unpleasant and unconventional way. SasuSaku. Humor.

Author's Note: My first high school story, and boy am I surprised by the outcome. What was meant to be a brief hommage to the Japanese live-action series, "MY BOSS MY HERO," this turned out into something a little different from what I expected. Please do expect certain similarities to MBMH (if you've ever watched the show) but aside from the general outline of the plot, details, characters and relationships are going to be very different.

Read and Review! :)

.

.

Chapter I: Intros and All That

.

.

'Stupid' was the first word that spilt out of Uchiha Sasuke's lips that morning as he squinted his obsidian eyes against the beam of bright sunlight that managed to stream in passed the curtains of his window and suddenly recalled his otosan's clipped statement over last night's dinner.

"No, your ears have not failed you and, yes, you are to go to school," his father had told him rather impatiently as Sasuke rose from his seat behind the dinner table after the first mention of his startling announcement. "You have been acting out again and I believe that it would do you good to return to school – like normal 17-year-olds your age."

Sasuke's eyes had narrowed as he fixed his father with one of his most defiant glares. The way his otosan slowly drawled out the word 'normal' in particular was done in a no-doubt purposive manner. "This is no fair," the youngest Uchiha in the line growled, slamming his fist into the table none-too-gently and revelling in the way the delicate Chinese and silver cutlery shook in angry retaliation. "I am the son of a crime-lord; I will not go to school like normal idiots. You took me out of that place for a reason; if you're going to put me back in there you know I'm going to do it again."

Uchiha Fugaku, head of the fourth generation of Uchiha crime-lords, met his youngest son's unruly gaze steadily. There was no trace of irritation in his cold black eyes as Sasuke's implied threat lingered unanswered in the air. To his right, the Uchiha matriarch, Mikoto, sipped her tea in silent observation of the debacle between father and son – head and future head of the infamous mafia family.

"Sasuke," said Fugaku after a moment's silence, face impassive despite the sternness of his voice. "The reason why you have been chosen to be the next head in such short notice is because your older brother – the real future head of the Uchiha clan – is too sickly to carry out the responsibilities attached to the title. However," There was an intended pause in Fugaku's address as he studied his son's glare behind a mask of utmost indifference. "If you continue to act out like a child and refuse the command of the current Uchiha head, I will pass the title back to your brother, regardless. Do I make myself clear?"

Sasuke found himself gaping for a couple of seconds, the blood drained clear off his face. "You... wha-?" he was just about to utter before he watched his father rise to his feet and roar in a voice loud enough to echo madly throughout the wood-panelled halls, "Do I make myself clear?!"

Sasuke nodded jerkily, his throat dry. "Crystal," he finally replied when it became obvious that his father demanded an outright answer. "...Sir."

Satisfied with Sasuke's answer, both Uchiha patriarch and his loyal spouse left the room for Sasuke to slowly mull over the sudden turn of events in what ought to have been a regular family dinner.

"So much for that," Sasuke now muttered to himself, recalling the incident darkly as he slipped out of bed and stomped over to the bathroom. "Fucking old man won't give me a break."

It had to be because of the incident that happened a week ago, Sasuke mused to himself as he leaned over a marble sink, brushed, gargled and spit – and perhaps the incidents that happened the weeks prior to that didn't help the case, either.

What was supposed to be a typical meet-and-greet mission with one of the opposing mafia clans turned out for the worst, and Sasuke, being himself, found it in his best interest to let his fists do the talking. Not being a conversation-starter among his family and limited in his social circle to actually communicate with people his age as he was (being the son of a crime lord and all), Sasuke was never really one for negotiation – so, in retrospect, it kind of made sense that his father decided to send him off to a regular school.

But, still. Uchiha Sasuke was a prideful man if there ever was one, and his lack of social-etiquette be damned, his father had absolutely no right in dumping him back into school without early warning.

"Uchiha-sama, I'm sure everything will turn out all right in the end," said Sasuke's personal assistant, Jugo, when Sasuke finally finished his bath and stood glaring at the faction of his clan dedicated solely to Sasuke's orders. "The team and I will be stationed just a few blocks away from the school and keep a look out for anything out of the ordinary," Jugo continued politely. "We'll be sure to ward off any individual from knowing your identity. Here."

Sasuke was handed a rather boring navy-blue JanSport backback equipped with folders, books and a practical-looking leather wallet.

Raising a brow at the common brand of bag he was given, Jugo carefully chuckled. "To avoid attention," replied the rather large-sized man, twitching his lips into a nervous smile as he watched his superior eyeball the backpack like it was the bane of his existence. "It's all the range for cool kids these days."

Sasuke nodded, satisfied, flipping open the wallet as he regarded the fake ID he was given. 'NORIAKI SUGIYAMA,' it read in bold capital letters – a layman's name completely detached from the crime syndicate he was born and raised in. The youngest Uchiha sniffed, pocketing the wallet and his fake identification. "Is that all?" he grumbled as the three-man faction he had been assigned with moved out of his way and stooped their heads down low as a bow of respect.

"Yes, sir!" replied one of the younger and more boisterous members to the faction, Suigetsu. "Allow me to now send you to the place of destination, Uchiha-sama!"

Docking his head slightly in reluctant acknowledgment, Sasuke climbed into the all-black Land Rover, his mood turning sourer and sourer as the time passed by.

As it so happened, the school his father had listed him into was a regular old public school, per Jugo's briefing before arrival, anyway. It was run by a Ms. Tsunade – a lady who had ties to the Uchiha name and was the only person available who knew Sasuke's true identity. According to Jugo, Tsunade was related to a man who was a long-time acquaintance to Sasuke's family and would allow Sasuke's admission on the condition that Sasuke not be given any special treatment.

Hearing this, Sasuke bristled. "And what did father say to that?" he growled, glaring at his feet as Jugo went on to say that his father, Fugaku, had no qualms with the headmistress's condition.

Balling his hands into fists, Sasuke then crossed his arms in a display of the highest standard of upset and blocked out the rest of the briefing.

"We are here, Uchiha-sama," replied Suigetsu from the driver's seat. "Take care."

Sasuke growled, slinging on his backpack and cursing both Suigetsu and his father for what he was going to assume would be the worst day of his life.

.

.

'Stupid backpack,' thought Sasuke as he eyed the group of students to his right, laughing and wearing the exact same JanSport backpack (albeit in different colours) as he did. 'Stupid school. Stupid dad. Stupid Suigetsu. Stupid—,'

"OOF!"

Sasuke had bumped into something soft and was now sitting on his bum on the ground. Looking up, he met a pair of very emerald eyes framed by mop of croppy... pink... hair.

"HEY!" said the very pink girl with the very emerald eyes, her crimson blush dusting her otherwise soft, pale facial features. "Watch where you're going, you little-!"

The pink girl stopped, her lips (which Sasuke noticed were also an unnatural shade of pink) going slightly agape. "Wow," she said, tone unmistakably calmed. "You're a beautiful man."

Sasuke eyed the girl carefully, trying to figure out her angle. "What?" he snapped, when he realized the girl now continued to stare at him.

Eyes blinking as if coming to, the girl's crimson blush started creeping up on her cheeks again; this time out of humiliation. She frowned and fixed him with a fiery glare. "Just watch where you're going next time, freshman," she shot out, falling back into ruffled-up anger mode and rising to her feet to walk the other way. "This place is full of creeps; you're bound to be targeted."

And with that vague statement of advice, she jogged off, probably to pummel some other poor, unsuspecting bystander along her path.

This time it was Sasuke's turn to blink. 'What was that?' he thought to himself, musing over how the strange girl had knocked him from his feet, shouted at him, told him he was beautiful (was that supposed to be taken as a compliment? Sasuke was pretty sure most men would not appreciate being associated with 'beauty', of all things), fell back into fight-mode and ripped him one, then slipped him with the advice that the place was, quote, 'full of creeps' and that he was, 'bound to be targeted.' Whatever the hell that meant.

Sasuke glared at nothing in particular, just realizing the fact that he had yet to pull himself off the ground. 'Weirdo,' he concluded, dusting off his pants. 'She's probably one of those freaks who can't get laid.'

.

.

It was a little passed 9am when Sasuke finally found his way to class. Amongst bustling students going over their 'amazing' school break, hall monitors blowing the most irritating whistles passed his ears and a multitude of other obstacles Sasuke had to go through to finally make his way to the Principal's office to drop off the necessary documentation and pick up his schedule, arriving in class was something of a relief.

"Noriaki Sugiyama?" a man had said from behind a clinical face mask as Sasuke entered the room.

"Uh, yes," replied Sasuke somewhat hesitantly, reprimanding himself mentally for failing to better recall the name attached to his fake ID.

The masked-man nodded, corners of his eyes crinkling as an indication that he was smiling... or something. "Ohh, goodie, new meat. Where did you transfer from?"

Sasuke licked his lips slowly, until now completely unaware of the twenty-or-so set of eyes directed his way. Class was in session, and he had absolutely no cover story. "Uhhh," started Sasuke, before the door suddenly slammed open, announcing the arrival of one busty blonde-woman.

"He transferred from outside of the State, Mr. Hatake," the woman announced, striding confidently into the room as if she owned the place. "And he has never been to school before – he is a home-schooler."

At the mention of the term 'home-schooler' the room was suddenly abuzz with frantic whispers and sly grins. Sasuke downed the whole scene in, wondering what the big fuss was about.

A hand shot out from amongst the crowd of growingly excited students. A boy with tanned skin, blond hair and... were those whiskers across the side of his face? looked at Sasuke gleefully. "So this is his first time at school, ever?" said the boy, flashing a set of pearly white teeth as his lips pulled back into a suspiciously crafty (or, in Sasuke's opinion, shit-eating) grin.

'Idiot,' seethed Sasuke internally, marking the blonde boy down as an annoyance effective immediately. 'The woman already said it's my first time here, you don't have to re-announce the whole thing as if she didn't.'

"Yes, Naruto," the busty woman responded with a sigh, as if expecting the boy to be the first person to raise such a question. "He's new to school in general so I urge you to treat his situation sympathetically and... teach him the ropes."

A tingle began to run up Sasuke's spine all of a sudden. Silent in his observation of the busty-woman's expression and demeanour, Sasuke almost distrusted his eyes when he caught sight of the woman winking almost... maliciously at him.

Had Sasuke been a more betting man, he would have put all his money in the fact that the woman in question was about to make his stay at the school an experience close to hell.

.

.

"Fugaku-kun."

Uchiha Fugaku paused over the newspaper he had been previously engrossed in to catch his wife's gaze. "Hn?" he replied, silently motioning her inside the room to speak in private.

"It's about Sasuke," she said after slipping off her gai and shutting the door closed behind her. "You know I never normally question your decisions, but today I am curious – why did you send our youngest son and heir to the Uchiha business to Tsunade? She is the granddaughter to Senju Hashirama and our family's biggest competitor. Wouldn't sending Sasuke over to her mean our destruction?"

Uchiha Fugaku let the corner of his lip turn upwards in a manner only his wife and very several others were ever witness to. "Mikoto, you have always been my most precious person and trusted advisor, but please put more faith in my decisions," he responded calmly. "Besides, sending Sasuke over to our family's greatest enemy may do him some good in the end. If anything, he can certainly use the experience to build that spine of his."

Mikoto's gaze lowered, the weight on her shoulders immediately lifting. "Indeed, Fugaku-kun," she replied delicately, trusting her husband's decision with the utmost loyalty.

Author's Note: Well, what do you think? This is where I usually fit in my self-criticism but, this time around, I'm honestly quite pleased with myself. Please review and tell me what you think. More characters will be involved soon, not to worry! (Also, this is not entirely a romance story, but we'll get there in time!)