Po, the Love Master

Part 1: Checking in at the Hotel Lǚguǎn

by Neoraichu

Po X Various. The story takes place towards the end of "Po, the Harem Master". Just after Po's wedding to Tigress, Viper, Fenghuang and Scorpion, to be exact. That's four wives to be exact, and the laws of ancient China allowed for such polygamy as long as the man could afford to support them. And yes, some of Po's wives just happen to love each other as well as Po (Viper and Tigress as established in Po, the Harem Master).

WARNING: This is a strange tale, so READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

…

Po was excited. He was finally married to the woman he loved, the woman who loved him and the woman he loved, the woman he loved because of her awesome wings and Kung Fu, and the woman he loved because no one else could understand her like he did.

And the Jade Palace, meaning Grand Maser Oogway, paid for their honeymoon at the swank Hotel Lǚguǎn all the way over at the Capital of all places. It was the most glorious place he had ever seen in his whole life, outside of the Imperial Palace (of course). The lobby just started with the glory of the Hall of Warriors with its Jade columns and broad, smooth floor. Valuable artwork stood on pedestals on display all around him. The walls were decorated with ancient ink brush paintings of the Emperors and Empresses of the past as well as famous landscape scenes.

The brides had checked in ahead of him, because he couldn't go to the Capital without having to run a little mission for Master Shifu first, and he didn't wish to bother his wives with it. They had other things to think about, after all.

Since this was Po's honeymoon, he was dressed much better than the patchwork trousers and shoes that he was used to wearing around. In fact, he was wearing the black silk jacket and pants that he had worn during the wedding ceremony less than a week earlier. It went well with his black slipper-style shoes he wore.

So he walked up to the counter, and the rhino behind the counter asked, "How can I help you, sir?" In spite of the deep voice, he figured it had to be a non.

"Good evening," he said, "My name is Po, and my wives checked in ahead of me."

"Let me see what keys were left for you," she said as she ducked under the counter. When she came up again, four keys were deposited in front of him. She pointed to the best looking key, and said, "This is the Master Suite where you're staying." The next key pointed at, and she said, "This is the suite for... Master Fenghuang." The next key pointed at was "This is the suite for... Quiong Qi." She shivered just a little as she said that part. The last key was announced as, "This is the suite for the number one wife."

"That's funny," mused Po, "Where's the suite for Master Viper?"

"That's all the room they paid for, sir."

"Thanks!" he said as he snatched up the keys and headed for Master Tigress' room. For some reason, he could imagine poor Viper being tossed onto the street by the other wives as they laughed at her. He knew that she used to have issues about sharing space with the others, because of how she was treated when she first came to the Jade Palace.

He was so relieved when he unlocked the door, and saw Tigress and Viper sitting on the bed and kissing each other on the lips. They didn't even know he was there for a few minutes until they ended the kiss.

"Hello husband," said Viper, "Shouldn't you knock on hotel doors?"

"I suppose he can be excused for just being married," purred Tigress.

"Sorry," he said, "I was just worried that there was no room for Master Viper, and I wanted to see what was going on with her."

"How sweet," said Viper, "I'm sharing this suite with my love, Tigress. There's plenty of room for two... or three in here. We can keep each other company while you entertain one of your other wives back in the Master Suite."

'Yeah' he thought, 'definitely a love triangle, and quite a strong one at that.'

"Well as soon as you're settled in," he said, "It should be time to go out to dinner and celebrate our first honeymoon night together."

"Of course," they said as one.

"We need to clean up and dress," said Tigress, "So don't just hang outside the door. You might have to wait a little while."

"That's all right," he replied, "I have the other wives to check on anyways."

As he stepped out and closed the door, he could hear the faint sounds of Tigress and Viper returning to their lip to lip kiss with some little moans on the side.

He stepped down to the next room, and knocked.

"Yes!" shouted a voice inside, "I know I'm a SCORPION already!"

"Darling?" asked Po, "Is everything okay with you?"

"Oh, it's you Po," sighed Scorpion, "Do come in."

He stepped in to see the bed that Scorpion was scrabbling around on, and the bed just seemed so large in comparison to her.

"This bed is ridiculous!" she cried, "If Master Mantis were here instead, he could get completely lost on this thing!"

"I'm sure they'll replace the bed with something more appropriate if I ask the management to," he said, trying to calm her down.

"You'd do that?" she asked, "Just for me?"

"Of course I would! You're as much my co-wife as any of the others!"

"Thanks, darling," she said softly, "No one's ever gone to such a bother for me."

"Now you don't want to miss our first dinner together," he warned her.

"Of course," she said, "It won't take long to get ready. I hardly wear any clothes at all, you know."

"Just be sure to wear your best jewelry."

"For you, darling," she said softly, "I will."

He went on to Fenghuang's room to find... it was empty? It didn't even look like she had moved in her baggage as of yet.

Scratching his head, he went to double check on the Master Suite. The Antechamber was a grand room that could easily seat several. It could be used for parties or as spare dining space. He could see right into the actual dining room, with enough space for four to dine at the table comfortably. There was even a small guest bath attached to the Antechamber. Then there was the Master Bedroom door in the back. He then realized what had happened when he opened the Master Suite bedroom door and saw Fenghuang laying on the bed wearing naught but her fine feathers.

"Uh, this isn't the room that was rented for you," he said to her.

"A mere formality," she cooed, "I figured your best wife would surely have to go first."

"Well, I think we're supposed to go to..."

"I'm sure we have enough time for a fast go around. Now come here and give me some sugar," she cooed as she used her wings to make 'come hither' gestures.

He walked over to the bed beside her. She was holding her wings open widely for him.

"You know what I like," she cooed.

He reached down and stroked her breast feathers, smoothing them down towards her stomach. That certainly made her coo in joy. Her wings grabbed his head, and dragged him down into a full beak to lip kiss. They closed their eyes as he petted her, and the two shared their passionate kiss. He could feel her using her talons to start fussing with his pants.

The next thing he knew, Tigress was holding them apart. Viper was coiled about her neck and shoulders. The tiger didn't seem to be all that happy.

"I thought this was supposed to wait until after dinner," she growled.

"Oh were we?" asked Fenghuang innocently, "I guess darling wasn't clear on that point."

But Tigress did make it clear – several times in fact.

"Now you should fix your pants and wait outside," suggested Viper, "I'm sure we can get Fenghuang here dressed expediently."

They could see the owl pouting.

As he was getting shoved out the door, he could hear Fenghuang saying, "You can't blame a wife for trying, can you?"

...

People couldn't really stop themselves from staring at Po's table. After all, they hardly ever saw a married party of such diverse races as a panda, a tigress, a snake, an owl and a scorpion. But the brides all wore wedding rings of the same design to prove that they were all married to Po.

Much to Fenghuang's chagrin, Tigress sat to his right, Viper to the right of her, and Fenguang just to his left. Scorpion was quite happy to sit at the other side of the round table from Po. There was several courses set out on the rotating disk at the center of the table: Wanton soup, Fried Doufu with noodles and vegetables, Spicy orange salad with sesame sticks, and Mushroom stuffed steamed buns. As Master of the table, it was Po's responsibility to make sure each of his wives was properly served what they wanted, even if there was serving staff to help him.

There was also plenty of tea to go around, and at least four different blends of hot tea were available to suit each guest's tastes. As it was dinner, there was also the choice to drink rice wine as well. Oddly enough, Tigress, Viper and Fenghuang were all drinking as much rice wine (or more) than they were drinking tea.

Glancing at Tigress, he realized it was the first time he had seen her in a dress other than their wedding day. He realized just how beautiful she looked in red, but a bright red instead of a blood red. It was trimmed in black, and had a rather wide sash binding it all at the waist. She had to be careful not to drag the folds of her sagging sleeves onto the table. Across the front was embroidered a golden dragon, which was often seen as a sign of good luck. As first wife, she also got the right to wear the gold wedding necklace as well as her ring. The necklace bore the word/characters for good fortune (Fu), prosperity (Lu), longevity (Shou), happiness (Xi), wealth (Cai), harmony (He), love (Ai), beauty (Mei), luck (Ji), and virtue (De). There was also a Qi-Lin, a nearly mythical being who supposed to control the weather, bear messages from the gods, and delivered dreams and omens to mortals: Another 'sign' of good luck.

He glanced around at Fenghuang, and noticed her outfit was a bit more usual for her. As she had wings, large sleeves with deep folds were definitely out of the question. But her sleeveless jacket was a bit more elaborate than her usual, with longer tails. She also had a skirt that all but covered her feet. It was all tied off with a wide sash. The whole outfit was shades of blue, mainly on the deeper shades. The sash and trim were a mix of blue and black.

Viper was only wearing a short, but bright green cloak that hung from her neck. By necessity, she wore her wedding ring at the end of her tail. Her head gear was a bit brighter, greener, and shinier than what she normally wore due to the polished jade flower in each.

Scorpion's ring was larger and thinner than the others because she had to use a leg to wear it close to her body. The whole leg, as she couldn't use her pincers or tail to wear a ring, after all. But she was wearing a traditional gold scorpion headpiece she got from her mother before her, and it was studded with a few small yellow and pink diamonds.

But he was distracted by thoughts of who would share the Master Bed with him the first night. He wondered if he could take Tigress without upsetting Viper. Or perhaps we would just make a three way of the whole thing. It was said many men (other than Po, oddly), dreamed of making out with two hot ladies at the same time. Especially two who were into each other as much as they were into men. After all, two women going at each other was supposed to get a man into the mood for making love to both of them.

But Fenghuang was forceful, and used to getting her way. She even tried to bed him before she had even moved into her own room, and who knows how far she would have pushed things if Tigress and Viper had not interrupted them. In fact, an interruption by Tigress was almost a habitual occurrence when the owl was making her moves on him.

The only one he was fairly sure was in no big hurry to consummate their relationship was Scorpion. She wasn't really into him physically anyways. Or at least, he really hoped that she wasn't. When he let her sleep on his head or stomach, it just wasn't the same thing. But then, he let Viper sleep on his stomach, and she has at least shown a desire to share deep kisses with him.

He shook his head to clear it.

"Are you well?" asked Tigress.

"Sorry," he said, "This whole place is a little overwhelming. I've never seen such grandeur and wealth, even compared to the Jade Palace."

"I guess so," she replied, "It's not as nice as compared to the Halls of the Jade Palace, but I guess I'm a little biased when it comes to that."

He noticed that some of the dishes were cleared to make room for dessert, which was sweet bean paste sticky buns and a bowl of fruit covered ice cream for each of them. These kind of treats were not cheap, especially the ice cream. It had to be made fresh just before being served. He had no doubt that the sweet bean buns were just made too.

Po made sure that several of the buns made it to his plate. He noticed that Tigress was hand feeding ice cream in a silver spoon to Viper, and she was in turn using her own mouth to deliver sticky buns to Tigress. It just seemed like an excuse for the two of them to kiss each other in public, and it was lucky Fenghuang could not clearly see the two of them around the mass of Po.

Scorpion just pretended she couldn't see what Tigress and Viper were doing, but most of the people around them surely didn't. If Po were a little more worldly, he'd know it was the rice wine that was making the two of them bolder and less inhibited.

Then he realized that on the other side, Fenghuang was leaning against him. She had actually moved her chair closer to his own. He didn't know about how much rice wine she had drank either. After all, a display of boldness from her was more than expected.

But during dessert, a tall fox vixen dressed in fine almost pearl white approached him. She was dressed much like Tigress, but with some more gold and black thread patterns in the sleeves. Her embroidered dragon was also surrounded by ruby red flames. She stood almost half again as tall as Mei Ling (the fox thief). Her lips were stained black, but her eyeshadow was pearl white, and her cheeks were bearing a deep blue blush on them.

"Hello," she said as she whispered into his ear, "I've heard you're here on your honeymoon with your fine wives. Congratulations on your grand wedding."

"You know about that?"

"News spreads out even from the Valley of Peace."

"Oh, well thank you very much."

"I heard your chummy with Grand Master Oogway. You're quite the talk of the Kung Fu circuit. A real celebrity, I must say."

"Really?!"

"Of course I'm serious, darling. You're about the only panda left in the whole land right now. Almost an endangered species, as it were. Anyone lucky enough to marry you can claim quite the catch, I must say. And you're a Kung Fu protege on top of all that. Quite a prize."

"Prize?" he asked.

"A figure of speech," she replied.

"May I get your name?" he asked, "You already know mine."

"Siang Ya Hu," she replied, "I'm sure we'll see more of each other while you're honeymooning here at the Capital."

"I guess you're not just another Ya Hu?"

"Of course not," she replied, "So until we meet again..."

"Maybe?" he asked uncertainly.

She just smiled as if she knew different.