Chapter 30 - She Will Never Be The Same

"It-It's Liv." Her voice is toneless. The voice on other line is Nick. Yet, a voice that should sound comforting and safe to the detective is barely recognized. She knows its Nick, but nothing appears to be registering. "Are you ok are you hurt-Liv? .. Wh-where's Lewis?" Nick's questions bombards Olivia. She manages to cut him off by helping him locate where she is exactly. She doesn't know how long she's been sitting on the floor next to Lewis's beaten body. Her gun is glued to her hands. The bloody post is lying on Lewis's laps. He's no longer handcuffed. She can't remember when she slipped into an almost catatonic state. The fact that she's free and Lewis is seemingly dead puzzles Liv. She hears Nick asks if she's ok. Liv looks towards Lewis's way and in a brittle voice, she answers her partner. "I'm good," she answers coldly, "but he isn't."

Hanging up the house's phone, Liv wonders, what happened here. She tries to remember the past hours or days. The last thing she remembers is Lewis tugging at her pants and unbuckling her belt. Did he rape me?

Liv tries to regain her memories. It was as if she blacked out again. The last moments with Lewis is a complete blur. Everything happened so fast. She remembers the compelling moment in which she was able to gyrate her body, causing the bed to move across the room. She thinks of the pain she felt when she swung her lower body out of the bed. She recalls Lewis coming in and catching her in the act. There was an exasperated look on his face. She still hears him taunting her with his words, You're gonna call out his name.. At some point they all do. She recollects on trying to seduce him. She tries to remember why she did that, what was her logic?

Gripping her gun tighter in her hand, Liv closes her eyes as she flashes to her own gun being shoved down her throat. He did numbers on her, and the worst number of all was making her surrender to his power. He forced me into submitting to him, and I let him. Slowly opening her eyes, Liv hears her own words cut her deeply, I want to live, I'll do anything, I'll do anything.

"Hey Liv... it's Nick." Detective Nick Amaro walks inside of the house with two officers behind. One officer carries a blanket that he hands to Nick. He spots Liv curled up in a fetal position, lost in a blank state. He glances at Lewis and yells for a medic. One of the officers rushes outside to get medical help. Nick carefully approaches Liv. His heart aches. He barely recognizes his partner but he knows she's there.

"Liv. Come on, lets get you out of here." Nick reaches for Liv but she doesn't acknowledge his presence. She doesn't even know he's there. "It's over now Liv come-on come-" before Nick can finish his plea, he makes the mistake of grabbing for her and Liv staggers to a standing position. The fear in her eyes stabs Amaro in his heart. She thinks quickly and points her gun at him.

Nick raises both hands in the air, stepping back, surrendering. She's still Lewis's captive and Nick's thoughts are what he fears she thinks I'm Lewis. "It's me. It's Nick-Liv it's ok." Nick tries to psychologically bring her back but can't ignore that look in her eyes. He knows that Liv is somewhere far away. She's not in that room with him, at least, not mentally. He studies her shaken body first then gets lost in her saddened eyes. To Nick, her eyes tell a story. A very dark and unfair story. He wants only to bring her home, to protect her, and to guarantee her safety. It was wishful thinking. Nick knows she's been through hell and as he stares into the barrel of her gun, he can't help but want to hold his friend.

"Sta-stay away no don't move.." Her voice is lost and beyond hoarse. Her balance is visibly off. Her body begins to sway. Her teeth chatters so loudly that Nick hears them chattering a few feet away.

"Alright alright. I'm gonna back away but I'm not going to hurt you-Lewis, he's dead right? It's over Olivia. This is Nick, your partner." Nick has tears forming in his eyes and, seconds after, it appears that he's reached Liv. "Partner," Liv asks below a whisper while looking into Nick's eyes. She begins to realize who he is, it's Nick, it's over. She throws the gun on the bed and her knees give out. Nick runs to her side, catching her before she falls.

For a few minutes, they only stare at one another. Nick can't help but observe his partner. She's broken. Her face is bloody. Looking at Lewis's body, he asks himself... who's blood is it? Turning his eyes back on Liv, he notices the burn marks and cuts on her chest. Paramedics bursts inside with two stretchers. Nick orders them not to touch Liv right now. He makes them take Lewis out the house in one of the stretchers. As the medics places Lewis on the stretcher, words from Lewis's voice and her own voice echoes in her head. Am I suppose to feel sorry for you? You had me for four days now. It's coming baby. Or was it just her own imagination? She doesn't remember using or hearing any of those words.

After the medics take Lewis out, Nick focuses on Olivia.

"Liv come on, let's get you out of here.. Get you checked out." Nick's words registers slightly to Liv as she allows Nick to place the blanket over her body. She hesitates for a while but soon allows Nick to usher her out of that horrid place.

The daylight burns her eyes but it doesn't keep her from seeing the feeding frenzy. Strangers glare at her with pity and, if she wasn't in shock, Liv would be rightfully disgusted. Nick holds her close and she's clinging to him like a spoiled toddler clings to their mother. Nick refuses to let her go, and while he's gracious that she's trusting his touch, he doesn't want to hold her too close. He can't imagine the pain and the tenderness her body's going through.

"He's still alive.." Detective Fin Tutuola, one of Olivia's longest friends, gives Liv that big shocker. He's alive? That can't.. That can't be right... I? "I don't see how," Liv says as her thoughts slips out loud. "You did what you had to," Fin replies. Nick continues to tell his partner that her ordeal is over and walks her to his car, Fin follows.

Amaro opens the back door of their squad car and helps Benson inside. Before closing the door, he kneels to her side, "we're gonna take you to hospital, get you checked out, it's gonna be ok right, he's going away this time, you got him." Liv hears the door closes and breathes a sigh of relief. For the first time in four days, Liv could finally exhale.

Amaro leans on the car door and catches Fin's eyes. Without saying a word to one another, they both agree that Liv may not come back from this. That, maybe, she will never be the same.

The End...

*It's really not over. Please follow my new story, which is the sequel of this, called "Come To The Light". Inspired by the events we didn't see, ex: the hospital, the reunion with Brian, etc and it is based on "Imprisoned Lives".