What to expect:

I'm not going to be writing out all of the races. If I do I'll try to make them short. I don't want the chapters to be super long. Expect some slight Nira/Cortex romance, as well as awkward moments for the two. Yes I know their not the same species (she was a human turned cat that was transformed and mutated by the Evolvo Ray) but I don't care. STFU, don't like it? Cry about it somewhere else. And just to clarify, Nira's original age is 17, but I'm bumping her age up to 19 so there's no arguing of her being under aged and blah blah blah. Also expect Pasadena bashing, because I fucking hate her. She's what Amy (I hate Amy too) is to Sonic, extremely annoying. Don't like it? Too bad. And instead of having one day to retrieve the power gems, I'm extending it to one week. So slight changes here and there...nothing major. Again, if you don't like it, don't read. I'm not writing this to make anyone happy.

I will try to keep everyone in character as much as possible. If I slip a little, don't get all butt-hurt about it. Anyway, here's the prologue. Enjoy.

Prologue

Chick and Stew are broadcasting live in front of Von Clutch's Motor World.

"Top of the morning and a cock-a-doodle-do sports fans." The camera pans to Chick. "Chick Gizzardlips here welcoming you to the farewell race, at Von Clutch's Motor World."

"That's right Chick baby on what might be the final week of operation. Von Clutch will surely have to turn off the lights on his life long dream." Stew says. The camera pans back to Chick as he finishes.

"Von Clutch, the deranged genius cyborg, has fabricated the ultimate auto racing theme park. Indeed, the park's tracks have reeked terror on it's participants. Too gruesome for this reporter to describe over the air."

The camera pans back to Stew, and he's now wearing a pink hat. "Well, I ain't got a problem with it. Man, have you ever put a baked ham in a wood chipper? I know I have."

"Ahem." Chick grumbles, trying to get Stew to stop describing the terror.

"Oh, sorry." Stew pauses briefly and then continues. "But now old Von Clutch's power gems have been stolen. Giving Von Clutch just one week to get his power gems back, or it's slam dunk thank you punk." Stew finishes. He's now wearing a wig with tied back dreadlocks.

"Ebeneezer Von Clutch, now risking his park ownership, in a high stakes, no-holds barred race. Contestants must survive a gauntlet of each of the parks five lands, and recover every one of the power gems that have been stolen." The camera shows each of the lands with all the power outlets missing it's gem as Chick finishes.

...

Meanwhile, Cortex, Nira and N. Gin are giving chase after the Bandicoots. Cortex is driving, as N. Gin shoots at the speeding orange car with the turret weapon mounted on the back of their own vehicle. Nira stands up and tries to shoot at Crash's tires with her own plasma ray gun, but they swerve out of the way of every blast. She 'eeps' and her acid green eyes widen as she ducks below a chicken being thrown by Crunch. She sits back down and glares at the three Bandicoots ahead.

"Hahaha. It's only a matter of time before we do away with these meddlesome rodents forever!" Cortex exclaims, but is then smacked in the face by another thrown chicken, interrupting his evil laugh. He grunts in irritation as he keeps driving. Nira smirks as she proceeds to sharpen her claws on a nail file.

"Just make sure you let me sink my claws into them. I have yet to know what bandicoot tastes like." She grins as she licks her razor sharp teeth.

"Oh believe me, you will get to my dear." Cortex says and looks at her briefly. "Just make sure you don't make a mess." He finishes, smiling darkly.

...

(I don't know how to write how a German accent would sound like, so just deal with it.)

"Pasadena, really? I only have a short time left before I am kaput-ski." Von Clutch paces back and forth while Pasadena and his mascot watch him in dismay. "We must find more racers! Is there no one among you to accept the challenge of the greatest race of all time?!" He exclaims as he slams his fists into the railing.

Just seconds after that Crash, Cortex and company come driving through the front gates of the theme park and crash into each other. Chick and Stew watch the scene with pained looks on their faces.

Both chickens turn back to the camera, and Chick continues to broadcast, "Well sports fans, it appears we found our racers."